


Even in the Darkest Shade of Dawn

by CalicoColors



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Background Relationships, Bodyswap, Ensemble Cast, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Post-Kingdom Hearts III, Pre-Relationship, kind of, pretty much everyone shows up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-13
Updated: 2020-02-16
Packaged: 2021-02-27 04:54:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 94,026
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22191397
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CalicoColors/pseuds/CalicoColors
Summary: After Sora disappeared post-KH3, Riku left to find him wherever his shattered heart landed. Sometime after that, Sora returned. His heart and soul did, at least.Riku didn’t.…not exactly, at least.
Relationships: Riku/Sora (Kingdom Hearts)
Comments: 117
Kudos: 235





	1. Rough Landing

_The Realm of Darkness is cold, yet not freezing; lonely, yet not empty; dark, yet not dead. It’s an awful place, but—it’s not as bad as they thought it might be. In appearance, at least._

_In every other way, it’s worse than they could have ever imagined._

_Aqua had warned them. She told them about the crushing gloom, the endless twilights, the monsters that cease to end and eternally roam. The fighting, the dog-eat-dog world, the lonely, empty nothingness._

_The King had given them lecture after lecture about the structure of the realm and how to navigate it, of what to expect from monsters and terrain, of what they might find or what they might not._

_All the wielders prepared as much as they could to venture into the realm—but none of them could have known. Not even Aqua in all her experience could have prepared them for the cold, lonely, dark viciousness that eats at your very soul, chews at your strength, claws at your willpower._

_But they pursed. No matter how long it took, they pursued. They had a goal in mind and promises to keep. Nothing would keep them from that._

_Which brings them to the situation at hand._

_“Do we have a plan?”_

_“We_ had _one! That was before fifty bajillion Heartless slithered out of nowhere!” Lea yells back to Terra._

_Kairi leans back on her heels, panting after taking out a swath of Heartless. The group of them are neck-deep in the Realm of Darkness on a cold beach, intertwined with veins of blue and swirling masses of darkness. Beads of sweat roll down her forehead, grip slippery on Destiny’s Embrace._

_This is getting out of hand. She knew this would be difficult, they all accepted that, but once those two demon towers rose up in a mass of shadows and monsters the moment they reached the dunes, it became unbearable._

_Blocking a blow, she dodges to meet Aqua, pressed back to back for a second to catch their breaths and ward off any threats. “I think we need a new one!” She yells over the sound of hundreds of pattering Heartless and flapping wingbeats and crazed snarls._

_Briefly, she thinks back to how she had gotten in this situation. It comes back to Sora. It usually has been for the past few weeks.  
_

_This time, they were sure to succeed. After a long time of waiting, they were finally going to bring him home._

_But jeez, they_ really _underestimated how hard it would be. And they were starting to lose the upper hand._

_Re-opening the door to enter the Dark Realm was no easy task; it took days alone to convince everyone to do it, and then a week more just to figure out how to even do it. Eventually, though, they figured it out. They figured it out and it led them here._

_If Sora wasn’t in the Realm of Light, and if they couldn’t imagine him gone into Kingdom Hearts or the worlds in-between, there’s not many other places to look._

_The Dark Realm was the right place, no doubt. Armed to the teeth, they ventured inwards, and let their hearts guide them the rest of the way._

_Still, they couldn’t have fully prepared for this, no one could have. They’re on the Heartless’ home turf; their chances were low from the beginning! What the hell were they thinking?_

_Kairi looks at the determined faces glaring the Heartless down around her, all to fight for their friend’s safe return, and thinks,_ that’s why.

_Well, they all certainly have the spirit for it. Kairi grips her blade tighter. That’s all they need._

_Still, things are rough. And it’s starting to become obvious._

_“We have to retreat!” Aqua calls while bashing aside a reaching Darkside claw._

_“We can’t!” Riku yells back. He’s panting heavily but stands ramrod-straight, a green fire blazing in his eyes. “We’ve gone so far, he’s close, I can feel it…”_

_There’s another chorus of slashes from behind Kairi, and she herself is snapped back into reality as she’s forced to reflect away creeping tendrils of darkness. Their situation is perilous, but she wants nothing more to follow their bond, the one that connects her to Sora and pulses faintly, the same way it probably does for Riku._

Well, _she privately thinks._ Not _exactly_ the same way.

_She almost misses a falling blob of darkness about to crush her into the blackened dust and rolls into safety while casting a weak but lasting Reflect around her. Just in time—it’s right into the waiting maw of a demon tide._

_Luckily, a wall of fire separates her from them as the Reflect shatters under the pressure, giving her enough time to parry back a blow from the distracted wave. Lea skids in, Keyblade writhing in flame. She smiles and moves to make another attack, but the Heartless have closed in around them._

_Kairi moves back a little but tightens her stance. Riku’s right; they’ve gone_ too far _to lose now. “He’s right! We’re close!”_

_Another strike back. Over the crowd, Ventus rides a wave of wind to scan the mass. “I don’t see anything! It’s all just—squirming. There’s nothing here!”_

_“But you feel it, right?” Xion calls from just below. From beside her, Roxas guards her back as she sends out a pillar of light. A chunk of shadow evaporates._

_“Yeah, but—whoa!” Ven narrowly swings around a demon tower rising in the air, distracting it with a few backslashes to get its attention._

_Kairi uses her last bit of magic to send a pulse of light to knock down the closing circle enough so Lea can send an extra-toasty round of flame to the squirming crowd._

_“It’s not worth the risk!” Aqua yells. A violent ice-explosion from the ground sends a burst of Heartless flying like sand on a beach towel being fanned in the air. Kairi and Lea move out through the tunnel it creates, minding the slippery floor._

_Riku, Mickey, and Terra are still chipping away at the first demon tower, their attacks brutal and quick from what Kairi can see. And the more she looks, the more she realizes that, shit, Aqua might be right._

_They’re exhausted, they’re worn-out, they’ve been here for what feels like hours and still have barely made it halfway through the thick of it, with more on the way. It’s as Ven said—an endless writhing mass of black and beady yellow eyes._

_For the first time,_ failure _starts its haunting bell chime in her head._

_Riku lands a devastating blow on the core of the tower with a yell, and they watch it fall apart like a sandcastle. He’s left kneeling after it, though, and Terra blocks a few ground attacks for him as he takes a moment, clutching his chest._

_Kairi finally manages to make it over, using one of the self-defense moves Terra taught her to ward off a taller Neoshadow. “We can’t keep this up for much longer!” The second she says it, she knows it’s true. She didn’t want to believe it before, but now…Kairi manages to sweep the legs out from under the group she was holding back and slash them through._

_Now it’s really bad._

_From his side, the King is helping Riku up. He looks winded, and terrible, like he’s been thrown in a blender and hasn’t slept for weeks upon weeks—but he’s_ standing, _at least_. _“Riku, we have to…” the King tries to persuade._

_“He’s right there,” Riku says, breath starting to even back out. He looks desperate, voice even more so. “Don’t you see? We can’t—I can’t—”_

_His gaze is pleading as he looks at Kairi. But…with the choice of Sora, who was scattered, who could be anywhere, who hates to see his friends hurt, or Riku, desperate and exhausted as much as the rest of them, running on nothing but hope and single-minded resolve…_

_Kairi tightens her lips and feels awful for putting that look of despair on his expression._ I’m sorry, Riku, _she thinks_ _miserably._

 _She hates this, she hates this, hates how even with all their spirit it’s_ not enough.

_No matter how much she knows it isn’t true, it feels like they let down Sora for the last, worst time._

_A crash of Heartless distracts them, and they watch as Ventus leads the tower he was guiding into a field of Darkside before doubling back. From the ground, Roxas and Xion also regroup with them after sending a few knocked back like bowling pins, helping them fight off their circle, now steadily moving backwards._

_“Look, I might not have a Sora GPS like the rest of you do,” Lea says. “But I can tell when something’s a bad idea, and this one really stinks! We’ll think of a better one later!”_

_A Darkside is speared by a bolt of magic above them. It falls back under the power, leaving two more to take its place. Xion rushes forward, her voice strained. “There’s more of these spilling through! If they keep coming like this, we’ll be blocked in with no exit.”_

_Sure enough, she’s right. Swells of dark splotches start growing from the ground. With so many wielders with so many Keyblades, and so many hearts, they’re attracting them faster than they can fight them._

_Aqua’s expression tightens, her Master’s gaze steely. "That’s enough. Lea’s right, we’ll regroup later. We need to leave,_ now. _”_

_“What about Sora?” Roxas says. His dual Keyblades shiver with exhaustion in his grasp, but he swipes back Heartless with a viciousness unparalleled._

_“It’s too risky. But we know now what to prepare for, for next time—” Aqua continues._

_“I’m not leaving,” Riku says, and his tone is final. The Heartless close in further. “But you need to go.”_

_“We’re not just going to—we’re not leaving you here alone, are you crazy?!” Kairi argues._

_“Listen, if there’s less wielders, it won’t attract as many Heartless,” Riku insists. “If I can just make it through…”_

_Kairi grinds her teeth, anger bubbling up so harshly it nearly falls down her face as tears. “So that you can go out and what, fulfill your death wish?”_

_“That’s not—”_

_Even Terra starts shaking his head. “Riku, we don’t even know what’s out there. There's been nothing. Even Ven said he didn’t see anything!”_

_“He was looking for a heart,” Riku says, shrugging off Terra’s supporting arm as he lifts Braveheart high. “I’m looking for a_ path.”

 _“Right…if a heart_ was _here, they’d attack that first. Which means there’s no way it could be here!” Ventus realizes. He quickly lets a gust of Aero launch him high, and Aqua jerks forward in worry._

_“It’s too dangerous!” She yells up. “Ven! We can’t—”_

_There’s a gasp from him though that distracts everyone from fighting for just a second. “There’s—! It blended in before but, there’s definitely something there. It looks like stairs!”_

_“Stairs? Where to?” Roxas wonders._

_Ventus breaks his fall with a roll. “It’s all gray around it, like a gateway. It’s stairs going up, though!”_

_The tendrils of the Darksides start rising from the ground. Riku looks around. “Listen, we don’t know how long that gate will be open. This might be our only chance!”_

_Everyone looks like they want to say something, but Kairi is faster and louder and angrier. “No, we’ll have more chances! We will! There’re other ways, we’ll find him—"_

_“There’s been nothing for weeks. Months. This is the closest we’ve ever been. I need to bring him home, Kairi. I can’t—I have to.” His eyes are so tired._

_“And_ I _can’t lose another friend!” Kairi screams. “Don’t you get it? You just want to go off alone,_ again, _because you think you can do everything by yourself but you_ can’t! _”_

_Riku is silent for a while, a moment stuck in slow motion, and even the Heartless seem to back off in that span. It’s this moment between them with a weight and a seriousness unlike any other._

_It feels wrong, like they’re years and years above their age, but it’s been so long since they’ve felt like the teens they are that the feeling wraps over them like an old, familiar blanket. And Kairi is tired of the feeling of losing people, she’s tired of being left behind. She’s so, so fucking sick and tired of not being able to do anything to help the people she loves._

_His next words are quiet and heavy. “I know I can’t. That’s why I need your help. Please._ Please. _You all…you help so much, more than you’ll ever know. I-I’m so lucky to be here and I’ve never taken that for granted. I have to do this but I don’t…don’t_ want _to do this alone. So please…”_

_Kairi’s anger has long since fallen to tears. Sadness, anger, fear, remorse—it’s all the same emotion at heart, isn’t it? It’s all from love. You can’t experience them without caring about the person that ignites them. She falls into the hug Riku offers, knows without a doubt as she breathes in shaky breathes against his shirt, that his mind is made up._

_There’s nothing to do but trust in him._

_“…Promise me you’ll come back,” she whispers._

_“Kairi, I promise. I’ll come back. And I’ll drag that lazy bum with me too,” Riku oaths, voice strained thickly, a hint of tears wavering in his usually stoic self._

_Riku can’t make that promise, not with the life they lead. But for her, for Sora, he will, and she knows that no matter what happens, as long as he’s standing, he’ll do everything in his power to keep his promises._

_And there’s no other person she trusts more to help Sora than Riku._

_With new fire, she turns to Aqua. “We need to get him through.”_

_Immediately, Aqua protests. “Absolutely not—”_

_“Are you sure?” Xion asks. Something in the way she says it gives them pause._

_It feels permanent. It feels final._

_Their minds are already made up, though. “Yes,” Riku and Kairi say at the same time._

_Xion nods as if she expected that answer. Then turns to look at everyone else._

_Aqua looks between Xion and Kairi with an almost hopeless expression. “Riku, do you understand what you’re asking? We’re putting our lives on the line for a chance right now.”_

_Surprisingly, it’s Lea who butts in. “Eh, we risked it enough just by being here. Why not go for broke?” He twirls his Keyblade with a grin. “One last show for the road.”_

_“If we all work at once, we can push them back just enough to make a path big enough for one person to run through,” Ventus says._

_Carefully, Terra rests a hand on Aqua’s shoulder and gives her a supporting nod, standing by her side no matter the decision. Finally, with a sigh, Aqua lets her steel-laden gaze drop, looking forlorn for a moment before the cold ice in her fighting spirit freezes back over to sharp points. “Alright. Let’s go.”_

_The Darkside’s yellowed eyes are peeking over the pools of dark, features emerging faster and faster, and they have to be quick or else none of them are making it out of this in one piece._

_Mickey, Roxas, and Terra keep a tight leash on the surrounding Heartless, fighting them back with renewed vigor. The rest of them gather and ready their magic._

_There’s another one of those moments as Riku looks back, just before their spells cast. There’s determination and energy and confidence, all things that make Riku_ Riku, _and for a second Kairi wonders if this is the last time she’ll ever see him._

_But she won’t ever give up. Just like she never gave up on Sora. And he made her a promise just as binding as the one Sora made to her._

_A flurry of wind, a tornado of fire, a shatter of earth—_

_—off like a shot, batting aside anyone in his way, and she sees it now, dark grey and spiraling up, up, a gate gradually shrinking—_

_—dives—_

_—they’re running, as fast as they can, as the hands reach and the tower shrieks and the Heartless chase and that wayward hope, that bright light, carries them all the way home onto those sandy shores._

* * *

Kairi sighs as she flips through another textbook droning on about the specifics of Water magic. Carefully, she balances it on top of the stack on her desk. It blends in perfectly with the other boring brown books.

She groans and leans back in her chair. How many of these things has she gone through? Does Yen Sid have anything that doesn’t sound like it was written three centuries ago? She can’t even cast strong Water magic yet!

Maybe she’ll finally understand it when Aqua visits today. She promised to teach her the basics of a few more elemental spells.

With another sigh, Kairi stands up, making her way over to the book flipped open on her bed.

It’s been almost a month since Riku vanished into the deepest parts of the Dark Realm as everyone held the tide back. She was furious at first, at everyone just letting him go, at him for just going, _alone,_ leaving her behind _again,_ but…at the same time, she understood. There was something in his gaze in that moment, the moment before the tide washed over them and the strange stairway vanished, following something only he could see.

And if only one of them could make it through? Well, there was no better person to go after Sora than Riku.

Without a doubt in her heart, she knows he’ll get him back. She just hopes that they both come back safe and sound so she can kick their asses right when they step foot on the sand.

Listlessly, she skims a different book. It had no title, but Merlin insisted that it would help. Even if he couldn’t remember how it would or even what the book was about.

(Privately, Kairi thinks the two wizards just throw whatever books look the longest and most time-consuming in their shipments just to keep her distracted so she doesn’t go out and do something crazy.

It’s not really working; if she doesn’t hear from them in another week, she swears…)

“Energy and life…consumed by darkness…heart’s commands…oh, more darkness, swell…” she mumbles under her breath. This is getting real tiring, to tell the truth. The first few weeks of this, she read everything line by line, took extensive notes, poured herself wholeheartedly into every quote and account and addendum.

Now, though, she just feels jaded and restless. What good is any of this right now? There’s time to focus on it later, right now she needs to get stronger so if something goes wrong, whatever it is, she’ll be _ready._

She’s tired of being tossed into situations she’s not ready for. So she’s just going to be prepared for anything and everything that gets in her way.

She lifts her head from the book as her phone buzzes in her pocket, a text notification popping up on screen from Lea. Kairi smiles, glad for the interruption.

 **Lea:** hhheyy ;)))) hows it going ;)

 **Kairi:** Oh, you know…. ;) reading about the corruption of darkness, emotions, and their impacts on the metaphysical animating form of the heart.

 **Lea:** haha sounds spicy ;)) and then what ;)

 **Kairi:** Literally nothing. I’m going insane. I don’t get why I have to read all this right now…isn’t there more important things to worry about??

 **Lea:** yeah i get it. those books are the worlds driest reads in the world. if you dared me to eat a bucket of sand or read one cover to back, guess which one i’d pick.

Kairi snorts. The dots take their time to send Lea’s next message.

 **Lea:** But seriously yeah. i swear i spotted a heartless the other day? but idk I didn’t get a good look. Sure as hell kept me up tho.

Ever since they returned from the dark, there’s been a few reports of recent Heartless activity in the worlds. Which was to be expected, considering that it was nigh-impossible to enter or exit that realm without letting something out. Still, it’s an annoying problem that needs to be nipped in the bud before it gets worse.

She’s about to reply before Lea texts again.

 **Lea:** aw jeez xion just fell off the skateboard brb.

 **Kairi:** Good luck break a leg!

She pauses.

 **Kairi:** Actually tell them not to please.

Placing the screen face-down, she stares at the ceiling and side-eyes the book. She could pick it up and try and digest the twenty-seven different definitions of “heart,” _or_ you know what, she deserves a break.

Kairi slides on her shoes and makes her way out the door. The beach by her house shouldn’t be crowded on an early morning weekday. Also, it’s right by the play island, so if anything happens there—not like anything _will_ , but, just in case—she'll know.

For the umpteenth time, she sighs. This is really getting old.

The air is humid in the midday sun and Kairi welcomes the breeze from shore. She closes her eyes and takes a deep breath. As stifling as the islands are these days, the sea breeze and seagull cries are still as comforting as ever.

“Kairi!” a voice calls from behind her. She turns to see Aqua walking up in a jog, a basket slung over her arm.

“Hi, Aqua! I thought you were coming later?”

Aqua catches up to her, a peaceful smile on her face. “We got everything done early. I hope you don’t mind.”

“Not at all,” Kairi replies, starting her walk back up. “Are we still working on what we planned the other day?”

“Well, I thought I’d add in some combat training too but yes, I wanted to work on elemental magic. We might just have the time for some support magic too."

“I tried to read about Water but the way they worded it was just too out there. Way too flowery, not enough actual good content.”

“I’ll bring a different book the next time I visit. Yen Sid’s books aren’t really, hm, ‘beginner friendly’,” Aqua says with a laugh.

At least once a week, someone visits the islands or the Gardens to keep her company. Sometimes it’s just one person and other times it’s a whole group. Her visitors always have an excuse ready—they’re getting bored of being stuck at home, or they were already out running errands in the world next over, or they wanted to hang out by the beach for a day.

Maybe that’s all true, but she also sees the way their eyes skip towards the play island where she first fell, the same way her eyes tend to do. The same way they’re doing now as they walk ever closer to the shores.

They also watch her, too, to make sure she’s okay. Which she is. She’s worried, but not dying (again, and isn’t that a cold thought), jeez!

“Something smells good,” Kairi wonders out loud. All she smells is fresh baked bread and it’s reminding her that she’s _starving_. In response, Aqua holds up her basket.

“A present from the kids. They’re figuring out how to bake.” Aqua flips open the basket to let Kairi see the sandwiches inside, oddly shaped but fluffy with a huge bundle of cookies beside them. “Ven wanted to come too but Vanitas refused to leave. The other two wanted to perfect the recipe and just…kept making cookies.”

Half the basket is just dedicated to cookies, all different shapes, sizes, and levels of burnt. “I guess they didn’t perfect it yet.”

“I kept telling them it was fine but nobody ever listens to me,” Aqua says drily. “I left before it could devolve into a flour fight. Terra hasn’t called and said that anyone tore each other apart yet, so I’m holding out the hope that they’re still alive.”

“Sounds like them.” Kairi reaches out a hand slyly towards the basket. It’s a totally Sora move, snacking before the main meal, but she hasn’t eaten for…oh, a while. Dang. She’s been studying for so long she forgot to be hungry.

Aqua doesn’t stop her from snagging a cookie. It’s still warm and melts in her mouth, even if it’s slightly burnt at the edges, and she smiles around it. “Wow, thif is ‘eally goodf!”

“There’s about a thousand more left, so help yourself.”

Kairi tries to say _seriously?_ but it comes out more like, “’erioufly?”

“Every square of kitchen is covered in them.” Her sigh is tired. “ _Please_.”

Kairi snags another before she’s even finished with the first. So _good!_

A few months after Sora left and Kairi came back alone, Vanitas got his own body, much to his disgust and everyone’s uneasiness.

Most of the persuading to keep him around were from Ventus, surprisingly, who had apparently been trying to stay in contact with him even as Vanitas hopelessly tried to shake him off. He says it didn’t feel right to leave him behind; he’s done things, sure, but he deserves as much a chance as anyone else to make it right.

And because no one is immune to Ven’s charms, Vantias eventually caved and accepted a replica form.

Ventus had non-stop pestered him afterwards, and it seems Vanitas is finally starting to crack under the pressure to join the Light Realm for real. He’s still angry, and constantly lashing out, but it feels more like that’s just who Vanitas is instead of Vanitas as-an-enemy.

Even was able to make one more spare from the leftover materials too—one for the Replica Riku, whose heart was left wandering after the war. His return from the Dark Realm was a lot calmer than Vanitas’, but he still was unprepared for returning back into the Realm of Light. So in the meantime, he’s been staying at the Land of Departure. Even though so much of him reminds her of Riku, it’s getting easier and easier to separate the two by the day.

Naminé is staying there with them as well. She hasn’t figured out what to do either but seems to be having fun there, if her cheerful Kingstagram posts and many excited text messages are any indication. It's good to see her finally happy, free and without judgement, with so many friends on her side cheering her on as she becomes her own person.

“You should visit the Land of Departure at some point. We’ll be happy to teach you more. There’s a huge library with every subject you could ever dream of and training fields four times the size of our beach spot," Aqua says. "I bet the kids would also be happy to test their tricks on someone new."

“I might take you up on that once I finish up my studies in Radiant Garden,” Kairi says gratefully.

“Of course! Just know our door is always open.”

Right now, Kairi’s been splitting her time between Destiny Islands and Radiant Garden, usually four or five days at a time in the Garden and one or two on the Islands.

She would stay permanently in Radiant Garden to learn more about her past and stay with friends, but…something keeps pulling her back to the Islands, at least for now.

Aqua, Terra, and Ven have been spending their time rebuilding the Land of Departure back to its former glory. A safe, central hub where travelers from all over can come to train and learn, or to rest without worry. They’re not preparing for a war or anything so dramatic—they’re just preparing for the future, when the Lanes Between open up and the guardians of light need to return and protect the worlds in both small and large ways.

Kairi would stay there as well to train as a combat wielder, but to be honest she wants to focus more on the background work. Fighting in the Realm of Darkness was a lot, she realized about herself. Not that she couldn’t handle it, even if it made her go a little crazy, but—well, at Radiant Garden she’s starting to learn that fighting isn’t _everything_ she could be doing to help people.

She’s mentioned a few times in passing about becoming a diplomatic envoy or researcher, and Aqua and Terra support her wholeheartedly. There’s precious few of those left, and having more would be extremely beneficial.

In the meantime, though, that’s no excuse to at least know how to defend herself and her friends. So she’ll learn all the magic and techniques she can!

Five minutes and four cookies later, they reach their favorite rocky outcrop by the ocean with the gouge and burn marks in the stone from all their last practices. It’s the perfect place to train—hidden enough from the main path to not be seen, close enough to the ocean to not be heard, and shadowed enough to stay cool in the beating sun.

Plus, it provides a clear view to the play island.

No reason, of course.

Aqua places the basket in a dry corner. “Alright. Show me what you have so far. Any spell you choose.”

Thinking back to the book, however flowery it was, she summons her Keyblade and focuses on the ocean. Water would come easiest right now, wouldn’t it?

Slowly, streams of water start to surround her.

“Excellent. Now, focus on creating a barrier. Imagine the very molecules that make water flow, tightening.”

She squeezes the handle tighter, imagines herself doing the same to every atom floating in the water. The streams converge and flatten; a semi-transparent bubble, where none can pass unless she wills it to.

Without warning, Aqua strikes at it; it _holds_. Progress from last time when it burst the second she was surprised. “Good. It seems like you mastered this step. Now, focus on—”

Suddenly, the barrier warbles, and Kairi loses her concentration on it in an instant, the water bursting out in a semicircle around her. She gasps, clutching her chest as—a-a _feeling_ tugs and pulls.

A really, really familiar feeling. This has—this has _happened before!_

Her eyes pan to the play island just as a meteor of light is sent burning through the clouds, falling towards the ocean.

“Kairi, what’s—” Aqua starts to ask, but freezes as the light closes in on the ocean. “That’s—!”

“It’s them!” Kairi shouts. _Finally, finally, oh my god, FINALLY!_ It’s been _FOREVER!_ “Aqua, it’s _them, oh my god—!”_

“Come on!” Aqua calls and summons her glider in a flash of light. As quick as she can, Kairi balances herself on the back, and Aqua takes flight at the fastest speed they can go without falling off.

Neither of them spare a thought to the islanders who might see them because who cares about that when _they’re home, they’re finally home!_

It takes less than a minute to roll onto the shore and another for them to dash to the other side. And there, lying washed up on the beach, is Riku, silver hair tangled and soaked as the seawater washes over him in waves.

Kairi gasps because for one dreaded, horrible second he looked…gone. Her shoes slip in the sand as she runs, runs, frantic until she sees the faint rise and fall of his chest and then she _keeps running_ _faster_. Skidding in the sand, she kneels next to him as Aqua races up beside her, pressing fingers to his pale wrist.

The pulse is fast and fluttery but _there_ and Kairi sighs with shaky relief. “Riku! Hey, c’mon, wake up…”

Aqua is frowning, eyebrows pulled low. “He doesn’t look hurt, but…here, help me bring him up the beach.”

The two of them easily pull him up the sand. As she does so, Kairi spares a look around, into the ocean, the sky, the imprint where Riku was laying. There’s no sign of brunet hair or the sound of more splashes.

Riku is the only one here.

His face is bloodless and ashen-gray, tired bags looking worse than when she last saw him, and Kairi feels herself go cold at the sight. Riku might not be gone but he looks so _close_. The skin under her hands is clammy and overly-chill.

Through it all, Aqua stays calm, which grounds Kairi. Seeing her pragmatically look over him for injuries with such laser-focused carefulness settles her nerves. If something were really wrong, if Aqua didn’t think he’d be okay, then it would be worse, right?

“I think he’s just exhausted. I’m going to attempt a Cure—” just as she says that, though, Riku sputters a little, groaning as he rolls over.

Kairi practically falls over him in her frantic rush closer. “Riku! You’re okay, hey, it’s okay…” she’s talking more for her benefit than his and keeps a hand on his back as he spits up sea water.

A long, drawn out groan. “Uughh—what? What’s…” Riku asks, voice scratchy with salt and eyes listless. They lock onto the redhead. “…Kairi?”

Kairi stares back, hand pausing from their gentle movements, hardly daring to breathe. Those eyes…no, no way, there’s no way…but the way Riku said her name, the deep color of his eyes…

She’s too frozen to do anything but _stare_ , and Aqua, seemingly not noticing her distress, focuses on Riku. “Welcome back. How are you feeling?”

His gaze slides over to Aqua and Kairi sees how she narrows her eyes for a moment. “Aqua? Um, fine…no, no, actually horrible, everything hurts. Ugh…” he coughs up a little more seawater as the haze in his eyes clears. “What was…Kairi!” Quickly, he tries to brace a hand to sit up which Aqua helps with a supporting hand on his back.

“You made it!” Riku says happily. A wide grin glows on his face to match his sparkling eyes and Kairi suddenly, inexplicably feels like crying. “I’m so happy, I was so worried…you’re okay, right? Everyone’s okay?”

She doesn’t have the strength to nod. Riku’s grin fades the longer she doesn’t respond.

“Kairi?”

Again. That tone _again_. “You…” her voice is croaky and hoarse, as if she was the one who swallowed a gallon of seawater instead of him, and lets it trail off into the sound of the waves behind them.

Leaning in, Aqua asks, tone serious. “Riku, what happened? Did you find Sora?”

Riku glances over to Aqua with furrowed brows, and Kairi knows what he’s going to say before he even opens his mouth. A small, confused smile flashes on his expression, his ocean blue eyes wide and glittering in the heavy sunlight of the Destiny Isles beaches, wonderfully, frightfully _familiar_.

“What are you talking about, Aqua? _I’m_ Sora!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My longest fic yet. Let’s see if I can keep up with a coherent plot thread for more than 10,000 words!
> 
> Quick note: this story is already mostly done, I just have to finish two more chapters (half-finished right now) and then edit like crazy. I’ll update this as I finish editing, so I don’t want to give specific timeframes. Some chapters need a lot of work and I don’t want to make promises I can’t keep!
> 
> Title is from “Darkest Shade of Blue” by Young the Giant and "Like the Dawn" by the Oh Hellos.
> 
> Thank you for reading!!!! I cherish every kudos and comment I get :)


	2. Adjustment Period

_The air was stale and bizarrely textured. It ran like prisms on his tongue with every swallow, felt too heavy with one breath and not enough in the next._

_It’s becoming hard to remember where he came from. He’s been following the cobblestone path in this gray plane for so long now. There’s no light other than the streetlamps lining his way, every twenty steps, no Heartless or Nobodies or_ anything _, really. It’s not cold like the Dark Realm or hot like the islands, it just has a_ feeling _in the air he just can’t place. Something not all there._

 _Even with how long he’s likely been walking, he doesn’t feel tired. He just keeps a look out, searches into every patch of smoky mist, because he can_ feel it. _The tether in his heart, tugging, beckoning, calling, faint but_ there _and closer than ever._

 _He picks up the pace._ Almost there, almost there, _he calls through his heart, as if he could hear him, and maybe he can. He hopes, if nothing else. No; he_ knows.

Because I believe in him.

 _Just up ahead, he spots a glimmer of red in the sea of yellow lamplight, breaking up the monotony in this gray world. As if in response, the tether_ _pulls back, in a way it’s never done, not in so, so long, and that could only mean—!_

 _Shoes pounding the stones, he runs, fast as his legs will carry him, watching, hoping,_ knowing, _the light growing brighter, stronger, and he feels a wide grin starting to form, the way it only does when they’re together, when they haven’t for so_ long _._

 _He slows as he grows closer. It fills his vision, that bright light, feels its warmth, its energy, knows it like he knows himself that_ this is it. _He finally found him. He found him!_

_Reverently, he reaches out, calling with his heart and body, to call him back finally, he’s really here, he’s really…_

_And suddenly, a stranger’s voice._

_“Oh, a visitor? At this time? How strange…”_

* * *

The mug warms his hands as steam wafts up from the tea. He has to keep it set on the table or else it slips from his ( _not his, not really_ ) grip. A few broken pieces of mug are still scattered on the tile from his last slip-up.

Sora keeps his eyes on his hands— _not his, not his, wrong—_ and avoids looking up, feeling vertigo wave in and out from his ( _his?)_ consciousness whenever he moves too fast.

Riku’s hands are different than his own. They’re longer and flatter, with a new set of scars and callouses to catalogue, the skin around the nails picked and scabbed. His— _the_ left wrist twinges as the hands flex around the mug, the chill of the seawater on skin making him shiver even in the island heat.

He hasn’t showered yet. There’s a mirror in there and he won’t like who will look back at him.

Everything feels _wrong_. He shouldn’t be able to see this high when sitting, shouldn’t feel his boot tops drag on his ankles, shouldn’t feel long hair running down his back because he never grows his hair out this long, or feels these new pains in his side, or this curve to his nose or, or…

Sora pulls the towel around his (Riku’s, _not his, it’s not—)_ shoulders tighter.

It’s all wrong.

Abruptly, he’s jolted out of his thoughts by the clinking of a plate in front of him. A sandwich that’s vaguely shaped like a star and two cookies.

“T-thank you,” Sora says to Kairi, reluctantly drawing away from the warmth of the tea. Like a robot, he mechanically eats the sandwich. It tastes weird, but then again, _everything_ is weird with new taste buds, new hands, new…Riku…

He shivers again, feeling more bile crawl up his throat, swallows the ashy sandwich to force it down. Throwing up twice on the walk here was awful enough, he’s not about to do it for the third time.

(“Walk” is a generous term. He was practically dragged down the streets by the other two because his Riku’s legs held up weight like a leaky boat holds water. Eventually, it’s just going to sink.

Aqua insisted on carrying him but he refused. He has to walk on his own, use his own power to prove that _he’s here_ to anyone that cares to listen. It feels better that way, like that’s what a hero would do, how Riku would act. Even if he’s not _either_ and not trying to be.

Throwing up, too—there was nothing in Riku’s stomach to begin with, but whatever Riku went through in the time he’s been gone took its toll. Even just the thought, of being here in Riku’s body, alone, still all broken like nothing was fixed…

He wretched in the grass as Aqua held the silver locks back and it _burned_.

Turns out all that stuff about his own power doesn’t matter. He passed out a few steps later despite his best efforts.)

“Sora, eat a little more, please,” Kairi insists. Her arm is warm where she’s pressed to his side.

He must be in some kind of shock because he just listens aimlessly, not even tasting the sandwich. Up. Bite. Chew. Swallow. So simple! And yet it’s about as hard as scaling a mountain.

It’s so pointless. He’s not even hungry, why should he bother with this when there are more important things to focus on? Sora used to love eating but now he doesn’t think he could ever eat another ham and cheese sandwich again for the rest of his life. Every time it’ll just remind him of this feeling of _wrongness_.

But…it’s not for his sake.

Because when Riku comes back ( _when_ , not if, because this isn’t sustainable, not in the least, and Sora needs— _wants—_ him back), he needs to come back to a body that’s been taken care of.

Sora heard a rumor once that stomach acid is strong enough to burn a hole right through your throat if you puke on an empty stomach. Riku can’t come back to that. Food’ll fall right out of his neck! That would suck. That would be so sad.

Yeah. Ha. Shock. It’s real. It’s real, it’s here, and its freezing him from the inside out.

As if underwater, he hears Kairi sigh. “So…it’s really you, Sora?”

It takes a few tries to get the click out of his voice. “Yeah.” The deep tones in his voice freak him out every time he speaks. It’s like Riku’s talking to him right in his ear, and Sora almost wants to look over his shoulder before he remembers that oh wait, _he’s_ the one controlling it.

Wait, not controlling. Borrowing. On accident.

God, his head is splitting apart.

Kairi keeps an eye on him until he finishes the last bite, and then just keeps that eye on him regardless. It’s hard to look back; Kairi hides nothing in her expression, and it makes hurt squirm uncomfortably in his chest because he can’t _fix_ this.

Loss. Lost. Worry. All questions he doesn’t have answers to but _oh he wished he did._

For a second she glances away to take a deep breath and scrub a hand over her face. Her eyes are rimmed red; she cried on the way here, silent tears that leaked down her gentle features, and Sora has a rule that he never lets anyone suffer alone, especially not Kairi. So now, he leans on her shoulder a little just like he did then, a silent way of saying _it’s okay_ even if it’s not, far from it.

Maybe it helps. He hopes it does, even if the gesture is so small. What should have been a joyful reunion has been tainted beyond belief. He’s not _okay._

Still, she leans into the hold with a desperate force, and things feel just a little bit better than before for a moment.

Aqua walks back into the room, Gummiphone in hand. “I called Ienzo. He’s wondering if he could talk to you?”

Instinctively, Sora flinches. The thought of that intense scrutiny, the cold questions, the poking the prodding, and he knows he’ll answer everything the same exact way. _He doesn’t know._ He doesn’t remember, he doesn’t know what happened, he doesn’t know what’s going to happen, and he feels fine. Physically, at least.

(Relatively.)

Luckily Aqua notices the look and doesn’t push. Probably sees right through him and the glass house he’s falling apart in. She holds the phone back up. “Yes, I’m still here…um, not right now, no…” She paces the floor back into the hall, voice fading in and out.

“You have to talk to him at some point…we don’t know what’s going on, something could be really wrong,” Kairi encourages.

“Something _is_ really wrong,” Sora bites, kind of meanly, and he immediately cringes at his tone. He didn’t mean it like that. When did he become such a pessimist?

“You know what I mean.” Kairi’s arm comes up to his back (still Riku’s, all broad shoulders and fine, itchy skin) to rub down it a few times, the way Sora likes, and Sora pillows his head on his arms with a sigh.

“I know,” Sora mumbles. “Maybe…not right now, though.” It’s surprising that he hasn’t burst into tears or had a complete panic attack yet, all things considered. It still hasn’t really sunk in—when he wakes up next, maybe it’ll all be a dream and he’ll wake back up at home as if the past few years were all just made up. Or just before the war, even, before he left and before he lost everyone.

That’s all wishful thinking though. Because even if he knew how everything was going to turn out, he would have done it all again the exact same way.

But he probably would have smacked Riku upside the head a _lot_ harder so he couldn’t pull any more dumb stunts like this.

(…is this how everyone felt whenever he left?)

“Alright,” Aqua says and tucks away her phone. “Ienzo said to call him soon to see how you’re feeling. I told him not to tell anyone else except Even or the King if absolutely necessary. He said he doesn’t know much based on what I told him, but he’ll research it.”

Sora swallows. “Can you…not call anyone else, either? Please.”

“I won’t,” Aqua agrees. “But you have to promise to call Ienzo in a few days, or if anything gets worse. He said if you didn’t he’s sending a ship over regardless of your answer.”

He nods. Right now, he either needs to wake up or have this sink in fully before he even begins to feel ready to talk about it. The way he’s stuck in limbo in this moment, he feels less than human, too raw and broken to even consider holding a conversation with more than a few friendly faces.

It’s smart. Calling for backup. But…

“Not now. Not now.” He mutters under his breath, breaking the cookies into halves, then quarters, then further and further before crushing up the crumbs into paste.

Only when Kairi’s hand starts up their gentle strokes again does he snap his mouth closed.

“Ri— _Sora,”_ Aqua says and Sora clenches his teeth at the flub, at the way it makes him ache from the inside out. “Can I ask you one question?”

One question. He can do that. Humming, he meets her eyes, watches them narrow a little in confusion at how weird his expression probably looks on Riku’s face. It almost makes him laugh at the thought of how Riku would react to it.

“Are you going to be okay?”

Hm. Idly, he wraps Riku’s hands around the mug and sips the tea. It’s cold. He takes as long as he can to swallow. “Probably. Maybe.”

She asked the wrong question; it’s _how_ he’s going to be okay that counts. Because the fact if he will be okay all hinges on that answer.

After all, he’s got a lot to tell Riku when he comes back.

* * *

Aqua leaves just before the sun sets, after checking no less than a hundred times to make sure that Sora wasn’t going to spontaneously die in his sleep or do something stupid. Which, to be fair, were all kind of possibilities right now.

Sora tolerated the check up for about six and a half minutes before pulling away, woozy at even the small gesture. Eventually he’s deemed “good enough” and sent off to bed in Kairi’s guest room before the mayor comes home so he won’t have to ford anymore questions, which he’s immensely grateful for.

He dozes pretty much as soon his head hits the pillow, overly tired and stressed out from…everything. Too much. Way, way too much.

“Let me know if you need anything, okay?” Kairi says, and Sora blinks his eyes open.

“Kairi,” Sora calls just before she leaves the room, hand on the doorknob. “Thank you. Even though t-this is not the best this could be, I’m still…I’m just really, really happy to see you again. I mean that, so much.”

To that, she smiles, small but shining more radiantly than the glow of all the stars in the sky. Before Sora can react, she runs across the room in one swift movement, wrapping her arms around him.

“You too, Sora,” she says. “I missed you too.”

With one last glance, she leaves, the door cracked just enough to leave a tiny sliver of the hallway light to peak in just the way Sora likes it.

He smiles a little into the pillow, the first big, real one he’s had since—since. Some things never change.

Despite his exhaustion, from everywhere both mentally, physically, and emotionally, it still takes him a while to actually fall asleep. It’s too quiet; there’s a few cicadas outside the window and the sound of the wooden windchimes clattering as the breeze goes by, but that’s about it. And that only gives him time to think.

Because this is how it’s going to be from now on. There’s no way he can explain it, how _dirty_ he feels, like he violated something sacred and turned it into oil slick and mud. Like he wants to scratch out of this borrowed skin because it’s not his, he _doesn’t want it,_ he wants Riku back, he wants to not feel like this and wants everyone to smile and not feel despair when they look at him.

He wants to be able to walk normally without passing out. He misses his huge, comfortable shoes that everyone made fun of. He wants to not feel achey and weak and _worthless_ because he’s such a failure. He saved everyone he loves and then he hurt them again in the same breath by forcing them to chase after his stupid heart.

And then he lost Riku somewhere he might never be found and Sora wants to scream at what a sick joke this whole situation is.

He was supposed to make things better, but he only made it _worse!_

The jagged edges of his heart dig in their shell, still shattered.

He hasn’t told them yet that not only is Riku gone, but the person he sacrificed himself for isn’t even complete. That would break them.

Sora pulls the blankets closer with a shiver and rubs at his chest. It hurts. It’s been hurting. But he’s still all here, which is kind of incredible despite it all. No missing memories except for the ones he got after he was scattered. All his feelings are his own. It’s like _nothing happened._

Other than the pain, there’s seemingly no sign that he was pulled back from the brink of death by the skin of his teeth. But he feels it. That _wrongness._

Pressing his aching head into the pillow, he squeezes his eyes closed and tries to keep it together. He doesn’t even know why he’s bothering to hide—Kairi’s sleeping, the walls are thick, no one would hear him, or mind, or…anything.

“I never wanted this,” Sora whispers, so quietly it’s barely even a breath.

Exhaustion wins out before the tears do. It drags him under, forcing Riku’s overworked body to relax and his stressed mind to just…let go.

And so, he falls into the night.

No pain. No real thoughts. No sense. There’s just falling, and dark, and Sora would sigh if he had any desire to move, any way to feel something in the blanket of emptiness surrounding.

There’s simply nothing. Sounds, figures, needle at his mind but don’t break the dark. He’s falling into nothing. Nowhere, falling.

Sora’s about to let the currents take him wherever they so please, just drift in this little dreamy space for however long it lets him, and he would, it would be so nice…

Something flares suddenly in his fall, knocking him out of his current. His dream self sputters, jolted from his daze.

What was that?

It’s still dark but…something’s definitely there. Something familiar? Even though the call of deeper sleep beckons, that flare is too curious. Grasping, Sora tries to reach for it, but it slips just out of grasp like he’s reaching into the darkest, deepest depths of the ocean to find a shell he dropped.

Finally, his dreamy palms close around the flare, and he feels it’s familiar pull but from _where?_ It’s cold in his grasp and so spider-silk thin, it’s a miracle he even sensed it at all.

Sora frowns, some emotion rising up in him that’s not strong enough to surface. Stuck in limbo here, it’s almost impossible to think straight.

But he _knows this,_ somehow. So he lets his heart lead instead of his head and just…pulls.

The flare sparks. Faint. Thready. Almost gone. But it warms in his grasp, a tether that leads who-knows-where, and Sora knows that he wants whatever lies on the other end more than anything else in the world. He cannot let this tether fade away! It’s important, so important, so incredibly beloved, how could he forget about this?

He won’t let it go, not ever. Right now that tether is _so close_ his heart sings even if no one else responds. _I’ll find you! Don’t let go! Don’t give up!_

A pull. Another desperate tug. And with one strong pull, it unspools, falling in rounds and shimmering in the nothingness, and he keeps picking at it, following that spark all the way to the end, the sign that it’s not lost.

The spark flashes. Flashes. Flashes—and _catches_ in a flash of light. Sora reaches out to pull at it, bring it as close to his heart as possible and feeling it catch and light in his own—

— _Please, answer me!—_

—and Sora wakes up in a field of fog.

Wobbling on his feet, Sora blinks as the vertigo ebbs and flows around him. What…was _that?_

There was a thread and…something glowing. Calling? He was following that bond in his dream and ended up…

Well, wherever _here_ is.

He looks around, seeing nothing but darkness and mist in the dull light. Flexes his feet. Fixes his lapels. Scratches his hair—slowly. Wait. His hair is…

Frantically, he pulls a lock down, and finds that it’s _hard_ to tug such short strands, and it’s brown! It’s clearly brown, clearly short, clearly _his!_ The shoes, the red jacket, the _pockets, oh my god the pockets_ , everything was back! Riku got him back!

With a cheer, he calls. “Riku, Kairi, I’m—!” before freezing. Because there’s no one here. Because this is still a dream.

Oh.

There’s nothing but darkness surrounding him. The only feature of this void realm is the circle of light he’s standing in like a spotlamp at a theatre show, a faint hum coming from the lamppost that sheds it.

Sora slowly sinks to the ground to lean his back against the post. The floor is cracked and cobbled and digs into his skin. With a sigh, Sora stares up at the empty sky.

At least here, he’s himself. Wherever he is. Like that even _matters_.

He drags his knees up to hide his face in them and finally, with no one else around to see, lets himself cry.

What is he going to do? God, what is he _going to do?_

The future stretches out before him; people looking at him with pity, with scientific curiosity, of him forever dreaming about this lonely road. Nightmares grasping, pulling, no beloved Dream Eater to keep them away. Constant, endless exhaustion. Reminders everywhere of what could have been.

No Riku. No one who sword fights on the play island with him. Who snorts a little when Sora makes him laugh and sneezes loud enough to wake everyone in a ten mile radius. Who talks with him late into the night when neither of them can sleep, leaning on each other like they always have. Who knows all his secrets. Who keeps him grounded. Who protects him. Who he loves, and who loves him back.

He’ll live, sure. Sora might live, and move on, and start anew, but…it feels empty and gray. It feels like this world feels.

But he’ll have to move on. As much as he hates the idea, he _has to._ Because he’s a hero. Whatever that means.

(Imposter.)

Heaving, he breathes into his pants and screams _._ Realizes that no one’s here anyways so he lifts his head and just _lets go._ Anger, fear, pain, sadness, everything, nothing, unfair unfair _UNFAIR—_

_Stop that._

Sora gasps.

A voice!

The sound seemed to come from everywhere at once, and he quickly glances around to see where it came from.

Only silence. “…hello?” Sora calls. He brushes away any lingering tears on his checks, sniffing wetly, and it’s kind of gross the way that sound echoes here.

_Stop crying. It won’t fix anything._

Leaping to his feet, Sora swings his head around. “So what, it makes me feel better! At least I can think a little clearer. Why do you care?”

 _I don’t—_ there’s a burst of something loud, like the white noise on a television, and Sora clenches his teeth at the way it crackles in the air. The voice trickles away.

Sora waits for another moment. “Sorry I, uh, didn’t catch that. You kinda tuned out for a second.”

The silence is longer, and when the voice returns it’s even quieter than last time. _I don’t like it._

As far as he can see, there’s no secret hidden figure in the dark. The voice is just there within it as if it _was_ that smoky gray mist fogging his vision. He can’t place the tone; it’s filtered all weird and he can barely hear it anyways, it’s so weak.

It’s weird to hold a conversation with someone that isn’t really there, but Sora’s had weirder. “Why not?”

There’s another loud noise followed by a persistent hum that rattles him to the bones. “Okay, okay, bad question, I’m sorry!”

_Don’t._

The static trails away and Sora feels safe enough to uncover his ears. Above him, the lamppost flickers a little. He hopes the light won’t go out; he doesn’t know what lies in the shadows here, but in his experience the shadows don’t hold anything good.

Except maybe his mysterious new friend, in this case.

His legs start to ache a little from standing so he folds himself down to crisscross them, trying to look as non-threatening as possible. “Crying isn’t always a bad thing, you know.”

_You’re not okay._

Jeez, this person can’t even see him and they can still tell he’s falling apart? Or maybe they are seeing him from the mist and Sora just looks that much of a mess. Yikes.

“It helps. Haven’t you ever just cried because you wanted to? Like everything feels so heavy and too much and you just have to let it out? That’s what that was. I’m…yeah, I’m not okay, but it’s either I scream it out or I’ll never _be_ okay.”

_Pointless._

Sora smiles. “I guess it seems that way. But you know the saying; if it seems stupid but it works, then it isn’t stupid.”

_You’re not stupid._

“Sometimes I am,” Sora hums. “Actually, a lot of the time I am, I think. I mean, especially now—”

_Stop stop stop stop._

He sits a little straighter from where he had slumped. “Hey, you okay?”

_You’re not. Don’t say that. Don’t cry. Don’t don’t don’t—_

It’s like they’re stuck on a feedback loop, as if they were muttering to themselves more than Sora at this point. He wonders why they care so much about this, but if it’s bothering them he’ll definitely stop.

An apology is on his tongue yet never leaves as the voice cuts in again: _DON’T!_

That hum returns but it’s not piercing, just this background buzz that sets his nerves on edge. The quiet _You can’t—_ is nearly swallowed by the sound before it’s followed by a series of pops. The lamp flickers again.

“Why not?” Sora yells to be heard because the noise is starting to go from “tolerable” to “thirty trumpets blaring all at once directly into his eardrums.” The abrupt change in attitude is worrying in its intensity.

_Stronger you’re stronger than that it hurts when you fall I don’t understand you have to be stronger or I—_

_(C’mon, Sora, I thought you were stronger than that.)_

Hands gripping his ears, Sora feels his heart freeze over cold, a memory riding unbidden from his mind. Of a playful smirk and sparring matches and it’s not even the same teasing tone but he _hears it_ , like the ghost of that thought rising behind the words and he’s not _giving up already_?—he never will.

Sora suddenly, achingly knows that voice like he knows his own heart.

Loud and filling the space they’re trapped in, the voice continues. _I know you. I know you. I don’t—_ static— _why should I—care I don’t know, I don’t—why—_

The voice gradually trails away, growing fainter and fainter as the lamplight grows brighter and brighter like the rising sun.

Carefully, oh so carefully, feeling like he’s walking on a delicate precipice where one wrong step will send them spiraling, Sora whispers with lips that have gone numb, hardly daring to believe them.

“…Riku?”

With a deafening _POP_ , the lamp bursts in a shower of sparks and sends everything falling back into the black.

* * *

Standing outside the door, Kairi bites her lip worriedly. There’s no sound from inside, no matter how hard she presses her ear to the door. Riku has— _had_ a habit of snoring, but it seems that didn’t carry on with...

Or what if it did and Sora is hurt in there and that’s why it’s so quiet? Or what if he disappeared again, like a phantom, like he was never there in the first place?

Ugh. She’s being dumb. She knows she is. But she can’t help it.

Sleep was impossible. With everything that happened, she’s just being kept up by so much worry there’s no way she can relax.

She thunks her head on the doorjam so softly it doesn’t even make a sound. Sora’s back, she’s _so happy_ he’s back, but…it’s barely been a day and he’s already disappearing from them again. Not in heart, but in spirit.

That’s not the Sora she knows. But then again, it’s only been a day. He needs time. He needs space. She needs to go back to bed so she can have a mini breakdown of her own and—

There’s a noise inside the bedroom. It sounds like a muffled scream.

Kairi’s bursting in the second the sound crosses the threshold.

On the bed, Sora jerks his head her way, blue eyes glinting in the light of the door. Wide and panicked.

She’s by his side in the next breath. No injuries, nothing’s physically wrong, but his breaths are short and a hand is buried in Rik— _Sora’s_ hair, his own.

She recognizes it immediately. It’s the same way she had woken up many times before after a nightmare.

Without a word, she slides into the bed. Just like the million and one sleepovers they had as kids together, they huddle in close. When they were young, it was to starve off the chill, now it’s for a different kind of cold, one that pierces through bones until it chills your very core.

Riku was always the coldest, but Sora was always heated. Kairi’s the lukewarm; touching Riku’s warm arm now while Riku’s face stares with a blue-tinted gaze is so off-putting she thinks she’s in a dream herself.

The night is a safe place. Together they huddle in the dark, sharing secrets in the safety of cicada chirps and wind whistles.

“I dreamed about him,” Sora whispers. He doesn’t have to specify who.

Kairi wants to ask for more but knows Sora will tell her regardless. The night feels too calm for her voice to shatter it. She hums instead.

“I was in this dark place drowning in mist. There was one light and nothing else, but I heard him,” Sora says almost dreamily, as if it’s not even him talking. Gradually, the more he’s talked throughout the day, the less he’s sounded like Riku-pretending-to-be-Sora and more like Sora-actually-Sora’s-voice.

It’s eerie to listen to. And sad, like the last pieces of Riku are just…disappearing. “…What did he say?” Kairi asks when Sora doesn’t speak for a while.

“That he didn’t want me to cry. That I had to be strong,” Sora whispers, and Kairi can hear the thick tears drowning in his voice as he chokes out the words. “That he doesn’t know what’s happening. H-how lost he was.”

Oh. As easy as breathing, Kairi folds Sora in her arms. He doesn’t sob but the harsh, stuttering breathes and tight grip on her shirt are somehow worse _._

He gasps as if he can’t get enough air in between his agonized breathes. “He’s so scared. I felt it, Kairi. H-he barely knew who I was. He’s trapped there and it was so dark and lonely, and, I…”

Sora keeps mumbling things and all Kairi can do is keep stroking his hair, feeling the stringy strands tangle on her fingers. She worriedly glances at her phone on the nightstand—Sora’s condition is still so new, what if he could die from this? They worked so hard to get him back, she she’ll be damned if she lets him _disappear_ again. Especially when Riku…

She doesn’t let the thought finish. “Lost” sounds way better than “gone.”

Luckily, she doesn’t have to make the decision to wake Ienzo up because Sora’s breaths start to come more relaxed. Still jittery, but at least he doesn’t do that awful choking noise that makes her chest ache something fierce.

When she feels Sora’s breathes steady fully into sleep, she buries her face in his hair. Feeling lost herself as a few tears drip down her nose.

In the distance, the faint sound of ocean waves drown out the cicada drones, and sleep comes fitfully for both of them until dawn rises.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nightmares, breakdowns, mystery and intrigue, oh my!
> 
> In my perfect world, everyone is best friends with each other. I also really like Kairi so she's going to be a big factor in the beginning chapters, plus some of the later.  
> Each italicized beginning usually occurs at some point in the past, some more recent or later than others. Sometimes same POV, sometimes different. I keep them vague :)
> 
> Parenthesis are usually deep internalized thoughts or memories, but sometimes they're used as emphasis. Not the same as the italicized "thoughts" sentences without quotations. Those mean that someone is speaking to another person or themselves, but inside their head usually. Plain quotations is speaking out loud.


	3. Tropical Storm Typhoon

_It’s empty here. No light, no soul, no heart. Alone. Yet somehow familiar, with dark paths and misty streets._

_That voice. So strange, so familiar. He knows it. He knows._

_But from where?_

_He’s lost. Restless. Cracked. Something’s missing, missing, missing._

_Reaching out, he tries to grasp onto that voice in the distance, the tears and sobs he hears echoing through his memories. He hates how it makes him feel. Even his broken disconnected ugly soul knows it’s the worst sound he’s ever heard._

_So he reaches—for comfort? For help? For nothing? But he knows this voice is important, so so important._

_He tries to ask. To think._

Stop crying. Tell me who you are. Who you are to me. Stop being upset. You’re strong. Why are you so strong? How do I know that?

_Too many questions. Too much, too much—_

_“…Riku?”_

_Is that…himself? It feels right. It feels good._

_It feels like—_

S—

_Everything overloads. He’s sent reeling, sinking deep, deep under the black again. It’s the last thing he feels for a while._

* * *

He gives up the illusion of sleeping as the sun starts creeping up over the horizon.

What little hours of good sleep he got was spent dreaming of mist in silence, no voice there to break the monotony of it in flickering lamplight. The longest period of peace he’s had in a while, and he can’t even properly enjoy it.

But this morning when he wakes up, it’s different. For starters, he’s feeling way more clear-headed than before!

Even though he’s still exhausted, Sora feels better, stronger, and more in control of himself. That’s a good thing, but—he also kind of hates it at the same time.

(It shouldn’t be him in control.)

The random pains just sort of…faded away last night, though his chest sometimes aches randomly. Maybe his heart still?

“You seem to be feeling better,” Kairi notes. She’s attempting to make an “experimental” omelet; Sora doesn’t want to be the first to tell her that carrots and tuna probably do not belong in any self-respecting omelet. “Sure you don’t want any eggs?”

Oh, now she’s adding mayonnaise. “Um, no thanks. I’m happy with my sugar bran over here.”

Any other day he’d love to try weird omelet tuna melts, but he doesn’t want to push his luck right now. He knows all of Riku’s allergies, but he doesn’t know how that translates between hearts.

Sora takes another bite of cereal. He’s on his second bowl; apparently losing his appetite was only temporary because man is he _starving_. It’s like this body is trying to make up for everything it missed in the past few days.

Or weeks. Months. It’s been a while since he’s been here, huh…

He swallows. “Hey, Kairi? How long was I gone?”

Kairi looks up from the coffeemaker. Sora doesn’t remember ever seeing her drink the stuff, but now she’s pouring herself a tall cup. “It'll be a year in a few weeks.”

Almost a full year. He wonders what else he missed in his time away.

“I came back after the first month,” Kairi explains. “I stayed on the islands for a while, but I started moving my stuff to Radiant Garden after the first week or so. It was…difficult, staying here.” Looking down, she swirls her mug around, and Sora recognizes her look away as one of guilt.

When he first entered in Kairi’s house, he half-noticed how bare the place seemed. The emptiness of Kairi’s bedroom and guest room suddenly made sense now.

But Kairi has no reason to feel guilty for leaving. He _wanted_ her to move on; he knew the consequences of his sacrifice, had accepted them, and if had any last wish it would have been to wish his friends the best and for them to move on.

He tries out a smile. It still doesn’t feel right, but it’s honest and true. “I’m glad! I wanted you to move on, you know.”

The words don’t seem to reassure her as much as he hoped. “It felt like giving up. Like leaving meant that I lost hope in you.” The pan sizzles as she nudges the dubious omelet.

“It wasn’t. It doesn’t matter where you stayed, I knew you believed in me. I don’t really remember much, but I know you helped me. I could feel it.”

“Really?” Kairi says, finally looking up. At Sora’s nod, she smiles a little. “Then I’m happy I could help in any way I could.”

There’s another moment of quiet, only the sizzling pan popping as white noise, before Kairi speaks again. “…Riku tried staying as well, but he left quicker than I did. He never gave up, though. Not once. I mean it was his insane idea in the end that…” She cuts herself off with a shake of her head.

Sora looks up from swirling around the last dregs of soggy oats. “What?”

“Nothing. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t bring that up right now.”

“No, wait, what did you mean? What idea?”

“Just know that he really, really cared about you, Sora. C’mon, we should call Ienzo before the morning ends.”

“No!” The outburst makes Kairi jump. He feels bad about it, but he can’t let this go. What did Riku do? “Tell me. Please.”

Kairi sighs. “Well, after he left, we didn’t see him for…months, really. I tried calling but he only picked up about the half the time. Even then he never really told me anything. Then out of the blue he comes back and starts rambling about this plan he has to get you back. I didn’t think it would go to _this_ extent though.”

“A plan?” _Riku’s_ plan?

“We had to open the Door to Darkness again, all of us,” Kairi says. “We got overrun in there, but Riku refused to fall back. He disappeared into a—gateway of some kind, following your heart.”

“And you just _let him?”_ Ever since he came back all wrong in Riku’s body, his emotions have felt muffled and quiet, sizzling away on the backburner. Now, though, he feels that anger starting to bubble up, and for once in his life—he wants to just let it burst.

This news shouldn’t surprise him. Really, he knew that it was probably Riku’s idea to get him back, but he held out hope that all… _this_ was somehow an accident. The universe’s worst prank, maybe.

But no. All his friends conspired with him to take back his sacrifice. To risk themselves to get him back, even though he already accepted his fate. Of all the _stupid_ things…!

( _It’s sweet they cared so much,_ the warm-hearted Sora says.

 _I let them get hurt them again,_ the red-hot Sora growls.)

“He was set on going, that hard-headed fool. The only skull thicker on this world is yours! We couldn’t change his mind as much as we could have changed yours.”

“You could have tried!” _Tried harder. Tried more. Protected him, for me._

(Because you’re just an imposter. You’re never enough, Sora.)

“We did try! But…we wanted you back just as much as he did, Sora,” Kairi says a little desperately. “You have to understand. You were gone for so long. We thought…you might never come back on your own, so maybe we had to…”

“What if you got hurt? Heck, one of you _did_ get hurt and now I’m _stuck in his body_ as he’s who knows where!” Sora starts pacing.

“You’re being unfair and you know it. You did the same thing and you’re getting upset at us?”

“I was fine with it! I was fine with it, I accepted it, and I wanted you to _move on,_ not put yourself in danger again.”

“Well, we _weren’t_ fine with it! You’re our friend. We couldn’t just let you go like that!”

“YOU SHOULD HAVE!” Sora yells. He feels electrified, furious, wants to scream because he can as loud as he can at how _unfair, unfair, unfair_ it is. “You might as well have thrown what I did back in my face. You might as well have sent him to jump off a cliff! How could—”

“He made his own choices! You’re throwing whatever Riku did back in _his_ face—” at that, Sora flinches—"They weren’t the best choices but I know he doesn’t regret it, Sora. Because you’re _okay._ ”

The sizzles grow louder.

“Oh, yeah? _This_ is okay?” He points to himself, his new normal.

“You didn’t see him! You _weren’t here_ to see how it was eating him up every single damn day you were gone—”

“So what? So WHAT? This—”

“—it’s _not_ okay, I know, but nothing was right and we were desperate, and he was—he was _bad_ , you have to understand _—_ ”

“I _don’t_ understand, that’s the whole—why did he do that? Why the hell did he do something so—so stupid?” _For someone like me?_

“You know the answer to that. You _know_. Don’t blame me. Don’t blame _him._ Quit yelling!”

“If I did more, tried harder—” Sora shakes his head. “If he cared, if you guys cared, you would have let me go! I needed to do this on my own power because if I didn’t, I would, I don’t know—” _Been better. Smarter. More deserving._

Kairi thwaps the spatula on the countertop. “That’s the thing about friends. We don’t leave them behind and we certainly don’t abandon them when they need our help. Get that through your head! Aren’t you the poster boy for this stuff?”

_(Without them, I’m nothing._

_If they died because of me…)_

“It was stupid and thoughtless and, and, y-you all never _cared_. If you did you won’t let him—"

“I don’t care!?” she screams. “What, I don’t care that I had to watch both my best friends _die_ even after they promised me they’d come back? That it didn’t fucking kill me inside when I had to let you go? Let him go? When you _broke your promises?_ I care, Sora!”

“ _You should have—"_

“Don’t. Don’t you dare finish that sentence. That’s not true,” Kairi breathes, tears starting to form. “Don’t say things you don’t mean. Don’t.”

“ _Whatever!”_ _this isn’t me, this isn’t me, I’m so mad why am I so angry this isn’t me_ , “You should have _left me.”_

Smoke builds. The smell of burning lingers faintly in the air.

“Stop being such a self-sacrificial _asshole_ for five minutes! You don’t care what you do to us when you leave. Why are you _saying this?”_

“Why did you all leave him? I-I’m so angry, I’m _so angry—” at what? Myself? At him?_

Then, through the red-hot-burning-sad-fury—a truth.

_…it’s not their fault._

“I’m sorry, Riku! Okay! I-I didn’t…” Kairi leans on the counter, turns her head away, and Sora feels a shock of cold run down his spine at the words. “I don’t…I don’t know, okay. Sora, I’m…”

The fire blazing in his veins chill. Regret eats at him like acid. He didn’t mean that, he was just…he didn’t. Hesitantly, he reaches out a hand. “Kairi…”

Suddenly, the door slams open, and the burst of something exploding sends them both reeling forward, Kairi summoning her Keyblade in a flash of light. Sora spins around, his stringy hair flying around his face, spoon outstretched threateningly.

Framed in the doorway’s afternoon light, Lea waltzes in the middle of a confetti shower, bright flame-red hair the first thing to be noticed. “Surprise! Kairi, we’ve come to save you from everlasting boredom—WHOA!” He holds his hands up as he notices the Keyblade and the cereal spoon being pointed at him.

A shocked Xion is holding the remains of a party popper in the entryway. The air is still; no one hardly dares to breathe as they process what, exactly, is going the fuck on.

“…is this a bad time?” Xion asks.

The fire alarm goes off.

* * *

“So wait, let me get this straight,” Lea says, leaning forward in his chair so far it wobbles dangerously on its front legs. “You’re _not_ Riku? You’re actually Sora?”

“Yes,” Sora mumbles. He can’t stop glancing over to Kairi; she composed herself once Lea and Xion started asking questions, but she still won’t look at him and the glimpses of her he gets are closed off. “It’s just me here. Riku’s heart is…somewhere else. I don’t know where.”

Lea presses a hand to his temple. “Ugh, my head’s spinning. This is crazy.”

“Trust me, we know,” Kairi says. She stands up—still not looking his way—and makes her way over to the kitchen. The omelet pan is a charred disaster soaking in the sink, another reason for Sora to be guilty, but she nudges it aside to grasp at the mugs. “Does anyone want anything? Coffee? Tea?”

“Whiskey?” Lea says. At the glare he gets, he backs off. “A joke! It was a joke, jeez.” Kairi shakes her head with a small grin and turns on the stove.

“Any other day I’d take you up on that, but maybe not right now.”

Sora sinks into the couch a little further, trying to curl his now-larger frame into the cushions. Great. Now Lea and Xion, two of the chattiest wielders he knows, know what’s going on. They’ll tell everyone and ask questions he doesn’t have answers to and everyone will stare at him like the world’s most interesting zoo attraction.

“Are you okay, Sora?” Xion asks. He looks up from his misery-and-guilt induced sprawl.

“Yeah. I think,” Sora says, and Xion looks at him like she can see right through him. She’s always been crazily perceptive. “You…believe us, then?”

“Of course. You’re Sora all the way through. Well…not in appearance, I guess. Um. Well,” Xion fidgets. “That was the wrong wording, huh?”

“You don’t have to walk on eggshells around me, Xion. It’s okay,” Sora mutters, sinking further.

“I know. Still, I probably could have said that better.” Xion glances out the window at the warm summer day, watching the birds fly by. “I don’t have as much a connection to your heart anymore, but I can definitely tell that it’s yours. And I can tell when it upset you a bit.”

Sora just sighs a little. See? Scarily perceptive.

Suddenly, he jerks his head back up. “Wait…if you can feel my heart, can you feel…?”

Xion shakes her head sadly. “No…I only know yours, sorry. And barely at that. I don’t really know how any of this works…”

He slumps again. Worth a shot, but he still doesn’t have any leads.

“So how long has this been happening?” Lea butts in. “When’d you get back? You didn’t let us know!”

“I…didn’t want anyone else to know,” Sora admits. “I only just got back yesterday.”

“Aqua’s the only other person who knows, and that’s only because she was here at the time,” Kairi says, walking back in the living space with a few mugs of tea. “Here. It’s no whiskey, but it’ll calm us down a little.”

Sora takes a sip out of a mug shaped like a swan. It’s exactly how he likes it. God, he feels like such a jerk; how could he just blow up on Kairi like that? She doesn’t deserve that…

Even now he still feels slightly angry but not at Kairi. Just… _angry_. He wants to yell, scream, maybe at Lea or Xion, and—no, no, he’s done with that side of him. That’s not him.

Ugh, maybe he’s not as well-adjusted as he thought. He’s all over the place.

Placing the last cup down, she brandishes one of the mixing spoons at the other two. “I’m asking you not to tell anyone else either. Not even Roxas or Isa. Please.”

Lea holds his hands up. “Yeah, I know, I wasn’t gonna. I can keep a secret, you know.” Xion nods in agreement, and Sora feels even worse. Yeah, they were talkative, but he forgot that they were also some of the most loyal people he knows. He’s really not winning any good friend points today, is he…

Xion puts her mug down. “But now that we _do_ know, how can we help?”

Leaning forward, Sora rests elbows on his borrowed knees. “I don’t know…I don’t think there’s anything you can do.”

Lea crosses his arms, disapproving. “Well, you’re definitely _not_ fine. You guys look exhausted. Like you need about twelve more hours of sleep before you can even start looking human again. Especially you, Sora—you stink of seawater, dirt, and fish,” Lea says, screwing up his nose to obnoxiously prove his point. Sora surreptitiously sniffs his arm. Blanches. Yeah, okay, he’s a _little_ fishy, but it’s not _that_ terrible _._

When he looks to Xion for support, she pursues her lips. “No, he’s right. You smell.” Sora gasps, betrayed.

Standing up, Lea starts pulling him up. “That settles it! Up and at ‘em, creature of the deep, you’re getting in the shower.”

He’s so stunned by the hands on his shoulders, the first contact he’s had besides Kairi’s in a while, he forgets to fight until he’s halfway to the bathroom. “But, wait—” He looks back to Kairi. She waves at him cheerily, something vindictive in her eyes which, yeah, he totally deserves.

“No buts!” Lea shoves him into the bathroom. “I’m the eldest so that means you have to listen to me. Have fun!” With a smile, he closes the door, and a few seconds later he hears it click. Testing the handle, he finds it locked.

“Did you just lock me in here with your Keyblade?” Sora yells. All he hears is what might be a laugh. Sora groans. Fine! Whatever! He’ll shower if he’s so gross!

Still, he doesn’t turn away from the door. Because he knows what’ll be behind him if he looks.

Instead, he shuffles backwards, doing a weird crab-walk facing the wall until his hand touches the shower curtain. Step one: complete.

Step two is fiddling the knobs to the right temperature. Kairi’s hot water handle is broken so it always spews out molten lava, so he has to turn the cold one just the right amount to get the exact balance of pleasantly warm and not frostbite or third-degree burns. Luckily, he knows the angle by heart, and in no time the water feels comfortable enough to take a leisurely shower in.

Step three is the hardest one yet. Because he’s still dressed in Riku’s clothes, now majorly wrinkled and exceedingly salty, and he has to take them off in order to shower.

Now, any normal person would just do this no problem. Sora, however, has died, had his heart shattered into pieces, was forcibly glued back together and then shoved into his best friend’s body. He’s also running on about two hours of sleep. If he has to face the reality of his situation now after that first breakdown, he might just lose what’s left of his mind. And his breakfast again.

It’ll also be…weird. Because he’ll see Riku completely naked. Riku. That Riku. The Riku he’s had a crush on for who-knows how long.

(No, actually, he knows. He knows exactly how long it was. At the worst possible time, too. Reaching out for the light as everyone fell one by one in the Keyblade Graveyard, watching Riku willingly walk to his demise for Sora, just to save him…the same way he’s doing now…

Sora’s heart has the worst timing in the world to catch up on eleven years of falling in love. What did he ever do to deserve this devotion? Why does he _deserve_ it? He _doesn’t!_

It hurts.)

So looking at his body, without Riku actually being here, would be major _awkward_ and make Sora look like a major creep. No way.

Clearly, there’s only one solution to this…

A little while later, Kairi knocks on the door. “Sora? I have some clothes for you. Mind if I leave them in?”

“Go ahead,” he calls over the spray. A few minutes after, he pulls back the curtain and climbs out of the shower. It’s strange feeling his hair so heavy and long—it’s so waterlogged it feels like a ten-ton weight glued to his head.

His clothes are the worst offender, sticking to his body uncomfortably.

Sora tried to wash up as best he could, but it turns out that’s hard to do when you’re still fully dressed. But was the only option to him, so if anyone complains about him smelling he’ll just have to give them a piece of his mind.

Drying as best he can, he picks up the fresh clothes and immediately recognizes the soft fabric. It’s the shirt he leaves at Kairi’s for sleepovers. They each keep outfits at each other’s houses for emergencies, and apparently Kairi never got rid of hers.

It was so thoughtful for her to pick something out that she knew would make him feel more comfortable. Sora pursues his lips to stop himself from tearing up at it.

Closing his eyes, he shucks the wet clothes and dresses as fast as possible without looking.

On his own body, this shirt always hung a little loose, making it perfect for lounging. On Riku’s, though, it fits perfectly in all the right places. He doesn’t recognize the pants, but they fit at least. Without thinking, he glances in the mirror.

And stares.

Blue, blue eyes stare back at him. It’s not anywhere close to Riku’s clever deep green in the right light or his icy teal in shadows. It’s undoubtedly _his own_ eyes reflected back.

Everywhere else, though? It’s…all Riku. Like he’s just standing there next to an invisible Sora. Like he’s not even being possessed.

Water drips down his fine features, falling into the sink. Sora stares, something thick and nauseated building in his throat. This isn’t _right._

 _This isn’t me._ The words mouth on Riku’s lips in the mirror. He doesn’t remember speaking them.

But his consciousness is right. It’s not.

_Your consciousness? This isn’t yours. None of this is._

“Who are you to me?” Riku’s voice mumbles, tumbling from his lips, deep and croaky and floaty. “I’m—trying, I’m…can’t think,” Involuntarily, his hands grasp the sink basin.

“Help. Please,” Riku whispers, eyes green and over-bright, and the illusion vanishes in the next breath like mist. Control suddenly returns to his numb hands, white knuckled on the porcelain.

Sora gasps, flinching back and slamming into the wall. What just happened?

Maybe he—fell asleep for a moment. He _is_ tired, some kind of hallucination or dream isn’t out of the realm of possibility. Yeah. That has to be it.

A knock on the bathroom door makes him jump. “Sora? I heard the shower turn off. You alright in there?” Kairi says.

“Ye-yeah!” Sora calls, almost relieved to hear his own voice speak. “I’m okay! Be out in a sec!”

“You sure? I thought I heard—never mind. See you soon.” Her footsteps pad away.

Sora glances in the mirror one last time. Nothing happens. Hesitantly, he leaves the bathroom, sparing only one more glance at the new crack that runs all the way down the edge of the sink basin.

He tries not to look back, feeling phantom eyes follow him all the way down the hall.

In the kitchen, Kairi is refilling the mugs with fresh tea, and hands one to Sora as he passes by. “Oh, thank gosh, it fits.” She says with a smile. “Looks good!”

Sora holds the mug with two hands, the warmth leeching into his still-numb hands. “Thanks. Um, Kairi, uh…I just wanted to say sorry for earlier. I shouldn’t have blown up on you like that. There’s no excuse for that.”

She hums. “I know. You were being really unfair. And a total jerk.” He closes his eyes and nods. “But we’re both under a lot of stress, so we kind of flew off the handle.” Kairi swirls a mug. A laugh echoes from the living room; Xion. “I’m sorry for the way I said some things.”

“…you were right, though,” Sora says. His head aches terribly. “I took out my anger on you. I was in the wrong.”

“Yeah, you were.” She sips some tea.

“I didn’t mean any of it, though. None of it.”

“Did you?”

“No. I think I did to myself, but…not you. Not to any of you.”

His heart’s balancing on a tripwire right now, mood ever changing—and Kairi didn’t deserve that. None of his friends do.

The sooner he gets himself under control, the better.

“I forgive you,” she says with a small grin. “Don’t do it again, you big dummy.” Kairi nods and starts to walk out of the kitchen.

“Wait!” Pausing, she glances back. “You’ve never been not good enough, Kairi. _Never._ You care, more than all of us, and I-I screwed up real bad, I know, but I’m sorry. For everything.”

The tension melts out of her, a more genuine smile forming on her face. “Thank you.” The mugs click as they jitter on the tray when she walks off.

The kitchen is silent for once. A good place for some self-reflection, but there’s no time for that now. He’ll make it up to her; even though he knows she took the apology without rancor, he’s not going to settle for that. She deserves something really nice for having to put up with him and his stupid dramatic mood swings.

He takes a sip of lukewarm tea. His scattered reflection on the surface almost seems to mock him. Quietly shaking the feeling off, he follows after a moment.

Lea glances up from his mug as he walks in, nodding appraisingly. “Looking human!” He takes a sip from his mug, not even flinching at the likely scorching heat.

On the other hand, Xion is a bit more careful, blowing on hers softly. She looks up, and for a second Sora thinks she’s going to question him but instead she just smiles wide and holds out her mug for him to clink with hers.

“Alright, now that you’re presentable, what else is there…have you eaten?” Lea says.

“Yes, yes, I fed him,” Kairi confirms.

“What about for yourself? I saw that lump of charcoal you were cooking.”

Xion flinches from the cup as she attempts a sip. “Hotf, ‘till hot, blech.” Her tongue sticks out. “Ya,’hat omelet ‘ooked ‘orrible. Sowey.”

“You just saw me eat like, three granola bars not even ten minutes ago. And it was an experimental omelet!” Kairi defends, crossing her arms. “Jeez, quit pestering us, _Dad_.”

“I’m just checking! Can’t a guy want his buddies to not become lonely, hungry, smelly fish hermits?”

“It’s fine. There’s nothing else to do, really. We just need to go to Radiant Garden—Ienzo!” Sora jerks up. “I forgot to call him!”

He still doesn’t _want_ to talk to Ienzo, but he remembers the looming threat— _if you don’t call him he’ll send a ship over regardless of your answer._ That’s just going to cause a lot of unnecessary trouble.

Kairi realizes at the same time. She quickly pats her pockets, finds nothing, then starts rooting through the kitchen. She eventually comes back from the bedroom with the phone in her hand. “…4 missed calls, one every 30 minutes. How punctual.” Before Sora can say anything, she hits the dial back button.

It picks up in two rings. “Ah, there you are. I was becoming concerned,” Ienzos voice says, tinny over the phone speakers. Kairi pans the phone over the room. “And I see you have company as well. Have you told everyone then?”

“No. We just dropped in for a surprise visit. We had a whole day planned and everything,” Lea grumbles.

Xion pinches him, and Lea flinches with an _ow!_ “I think this is a little more important!”

“Kidding! I’m kidding! Do people not understand my jokes!?”

Sora lets their voices fade out into the background as Ienzo focuses on him. “So, it’s true, then? You’re really Sora?”

Sora’s getting a little tired of people asking him that. He looks like Riku, so it’s understandable he guesses, but still. Annoying. Half-heartedly, he tries to muster his best “Sora-expression,” whatever that is. “Yeah.”

It seems to work, because Ienzo nods, turning off screen for a moment to write something down. “Fascinating. How do you feel?

“I was a little weak yesterday but I’m feeling better now. Nothing feels out of place.” _Except for literally everything, least of all his shattered heart._

It goes on like this for a while: Ienzo asks a question, such as what he remembers or if he can use magic. Sora answers them (“Everything except what happened after Kairi came back” and “I haven’t tried”). Ienzo scribbles notes. Kairi, Lea, and Xion chat quietly, and even though Sora feels eyes on him the entire time he’s talking they’re never looking at him when he glances up.

Most of his responses are short and clipped, not giving much detail. It’s strange how snappy he feels lately. Maybe it’s something to do with Riku’s body—he’s acting like Riku did when he was younger and moodier.

Just thinking about the wielder depresses him, making his answers even more unhelpful. What happened to his good mood when the morning started? Whatever sliver he had is nearly gone now.

Ienzo senses he’s getting fed up with this around his forth or fifth noncommittal grunt, pausing writing. “Apologies, Sora. I’m afraid you’ll need to come in the Radiant Garden laboratory. I don’t exactly know what happened to you, but I’d like to do a face-to-face investigation to learn more if that’s alright with you.”

Sora hums absently, watching the birds nest in the tree above Kairi’s house.

“It could even give us insight as to what happened to Riku.”

That gets Sora’s attention. He refocuses on the conversation. “Wait, really?”

“Possibly,” Ienzo says. “I cannot make any promises, but you are our best hope at learning what happened.”

“…Alright,” Sora agrees. “How do I get there?”

“Not to worry. I already assumed you had slept in terribly late so I sent over a little ’wake-up call’ a few hours ago. They should be arriving any minute.”

Right on cue, Lea’s mug jitters in his hand right as he’s about to take a sip, making it splash onto his lap. He squawks, complaints suddenly muffled by the loud ship engine whirring outside the house.

“Ah. Perfect. See you soon, then. Please do not get into any trouble on the way here.” With a click, the phone disconnects.

“He sure is a bundle of laughs, huh,” Lea says with a grimace. “Even when we were nobodies he always was a bit of a square.”

Sora steps over the confetti scattered on the ground, peaking out the door. It’s a good thing Kairi lives on the beach outskirts; otherwise they would have a lot of questioning islanders wondering why a spaceship suddenly landed on their little nowhere island.

The cockpit opens, revealing—

“Leon!” Sora yells happily, breaking into a sprint. Leon catches him in his arms as he dives into them, and Sora laughs as they nearly topple.

“Hey, uh, Sora?—ow, careful!” Leon mutters as Sora steps on his foot. Still, he gives him a quick hug back before pushing him arm’s length away. “Jeez, Ienzo said you’d look different but it’s still you all the way through, huh?”

Suddenly remembering his form, Sora looks away. “Haha, yeah…” Xion had said the same thing. Guess his heart is too big not to be seen, even in such a different body, that people just recognize him on the spot. It’s not unusual, though. After all, he saw Riku shine through even in Ansem’s form.

“Wow! This place looks amazing!” Another voice pops in as Yuffie peaks out from inside the Gummiship. She gasps when she sees Sora. “Whoa, wow, you are _super_ cute. Look at all that hair!” Running her way over, she starts tugging at Riku’s silver locks.

“That’s Sora you’re talking to.”

“I know that! Jeez, I’m not dumb. I’m just messing with him. He’s got the same movements and everything.” Suddenly, she pulls away, screwing up her nose and wobbling on her feet. “Ugh, Leon, you’re the _worst_ driver, you know that?”

Leon sighs exasperatedly. “My driving is _fine,_ you just have terrible motion sickness.” He flings out his arms as Yuffie groans. “Hey, careful, don’t throw up on my shoes again!”

Sora laughs at their antics, so loudly he feels his eyes start to sting a little. “Thank you for risking Leon’s driving to see me, Yuffie.” Leon narrows his eyes at him for taking Yuffies side.

Beaming, Yuffie straightens. They do a sick fist-bump, complete with explosion. “Wouldn’t miss the beach for the world.”

“Aw, so you didn’t miss me?”

“Eh, maybe a little.”

They share another grin before Leon clears his throat. “So,” Leon says, and Sora knows from that tone of voice that he’s probably in danger. “Start explaining. Now.”

“Now?” Sora says, more whines.

“I haven’t heard from you in nearly a year and the first time I do its apparently after you _die._ I think I deserve an explanation,” Leon says drily.

“Can’t we do it on the ship?” It’s way, _way_ too long of a story to tell in the island heat.

Leon furrows his brows then huffs. “Fine. C’mon. Ienzo made it seem like you were dying again, so I gotta get you back as fast as I can before you, I don’t know, melt or something.”

“We’re coming too!” Kairi yells, jogging up. “You’re not just going to up and leave us behind, _right Sora?”_

He gulps. _Scary!_ “Of course not!” Peaking above her head (which is ridiculously easy thanks to Riku’s blessed height difference), he makes eye contact with the other two. “You as well?”

Lea thinks. “Well, I don’t want to let you guys go off alone, but I gotta tell Isa and Roxas that plans changed…are you _sure_ we can’t tell them anything?”

“We probably shouldn’t…I mean, if Roxas knows, he’ll want to visit, and then he might tell Ven who’ll tell Terra and it’ll just keep going until everyone knows…” Xion says, biting her lip. “I don’t like keeping things from them, but we’ll keep this a secret if you want us to, Sora. No matter what.”

Sora scratches his arms, the too-fine hairs tickling his fingertips. “…Not right now, please.”

Lea and Xion nod, and Sora feels that pain in his heart again. That devotion again, even though he doesn’t deserve it…

The chest pain briefly flares for a moment, and he tries to hide his wince. Leon squints at him again, so Sora hurriedly distracts him. “So, uh, where’s everyone else?” Sora says, peering around for any more Radiant Garden stowaways.

“Home,” Leon says. “I was going to pick you up alone because the ship’s not big enough for everyone, but _someone_ just had to sneak on board…” he gives a pointed glance to Yuffie, who whistles nonchalantly.

“Who, me?” she says with a sly grin. “Never.”

Kairi’s hand falls on his arm. “I’m going to catch a ride with Lea and Xion. That ship looks a little too small for all of us.”

Oh, this sounds like fun. Being trapped alone in a tiny ship, pestered with questions by two of his oldest friends, for the hour or so trip to Radiant Gardens. Good for catching up; not for his sanity. “Um, I’m sure there’s plenty of space. They’re bigger on the inside.”

“No thanks. I need the leg room, shortstack—or, huh, not anymore I guess,” Lea says. Surprisingly, the joke doesn’t hurt. This is only temporary, after all. Once they get to Ienzo’s, they’ll find a way to fix this. He’s got to stay cheerful!

So Sora laughs a little, feeling things settle into his new temporary normal. “Well, _you_ can then, but I mean c’mon guys, at least one of you can—”

“Oh look at the time!” Xion exclaims. “We have to run to the store really super fast for, uh, cheese! And…cranberry sauce! See you there, Sora!” And then they abandon him to the wolves, the jerks, no matter how much he protests.

“Hey, wait!”

A hand lands on his shoulder threateningly. Sora gulps. “So. Care to explain?”

This is going to be the longest ship ride of his life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I like writing about Sora breaking down and lashing out. Just like, getting mad for once, you know? We’ve all been there. He has insecurities and fears just like everyone else but it’s been back-to-back hell without pause for so long in his life that I think he’s been forced to shove it down and stick a smile on his face. But we all break eventually.
> 
> Thank you for your sweet comments <3 I love ya'll!!


	4. Trouble Usually Finds Me

_Spinning on the cobblestones, his Keyblade flashes out in a glimmer of silver and purple. “Who’s there?”_

_There’s no one around. Only darkness and the gentle glow of the heart. It sings to him softly, making him reflexively tighten his grip on his weapon, searching for the source of the voice. He won’t let anyone or_ anything _hurt this heart, ever again._

 _“So rude!” The voice calls just by his ear. “Breaking and entering_ and _assaulting? What manners!”_

_The Keyblade arcs behind him in a devastating swing, deadly silver glinting, but he nearly overbalances when the expected hit doesn’t connect, the presence behind him simply vanishing into nothingness._

_He grits his teeth. “Quit messing around! Who are you?”_

_“That is my line,” the voice says. In the faint glow of light, a shimmer can be seen wavering. “You are a thief? A troublemaker? An evildoer?” It moves closer to the heart light._

_In a flash, he fires off a Dark Firaga, and watches with satisfaction as it connects with the trace outline. “Get away from him,” he grits._

_It squawks. “Careless! So careless!” The outline flickers and catches a glimpse of scales, eyes, fleshy fins. Faster than humanely possible, it lunges at the heart._

_No!_

_Just as fast, he dashes, his dark teleport sending him lurching far ahead, breaking into a dead sprint. The ache in his lungs, the burn in his calves, the exhaustion in his veins pushes for_ more, more, _save him, quickly, hurry now now_ now _—_

 _He just barely manages to swipe the edge of the light (warm, so warm, singing their song, that most precious heartsong, yearning as much as his own_ — _) before something lashes out, whapping him aside like nothing._

 _Body slamming onto the ground, he barely feels the scrape, only feeling frustration and rage and_ worry, worry _, immediately flipping himself on two feet in one smooth motion. Readying another attack, he freezes._

_The heart is wrapped up, the glow faintly shining through curved slivers. The dim light reflects off those same scales he saw before, a large snake body wrapped so tightly around the fragile heart one good squeeze would send it scattering._

_NO!_

_A long head looks down on him, pointed snout covering the glow. “A thief, then,” the voice growls, suddenly two octaves lower than before._

_“Give. Him. Back.”_

_“So demanding, so rude. Is this all humans?” It’s many rows of teeth clack. “Hearts are never this crude.”_

_“It’s not_ yours!” _he screams. Energy crackles on his fingertips, but he can’t risk hurting his most precious person. He can’t. He tries a different angle. “Let him go. Please.”_

_“Hm. So angry, too. Why so angry?” Its head lowers a little closer to him. He doesn’t look away, doesn’t hide his glare. Stays firm in his place, blade outstretched high above his head. If it just gets a little closer, maybe he can try to slash its stupid head clean off. But that might hurt the heart…_

_It sniffs the stale air. Its many pupils dilate. “Ah! You smell the same!” He tenses as it wiggles slightly, shifting the heart._

_“What are you talking about? Listen to me!”_

_“And music! Hearts do not sing for me!” It leans in even further, and he’s too caught off guard to attack it just yet. “Yet this one does? For you?”_

_The Thunder queued in his hands weakens slightly. “How…you can hear that?”_

_“Of course! Of course! So loud. This heart has never been loud. So broken, so quiet.” Its eyes blink. “Nothing I do works. Always hurt. Upsetting, so upsetting. Why would it not work?”_

_Screw this. He sends the Thunder racing up his arm into his Keyblade. In one powerful swoop, he gouges one of the eyes in his view—or at least, he_ should _have. Instead, one of the fleshy membranes halts his blade, his arms shaking as he tries to slice it off with all of his strength._

_The ribbon shivers with charged electricity. He doesn’t expect the rebound as it sends the lightning back through the blade, coursing through his veins. Gasping, his fingers reflexively loosen, and he slumps as the Keyblade is sent skittering far away from his grasp with a clatter._

_“You…!” He prepares another Firaga. He won’t stop, not until it lets go, until he_ gets him back _, no matter the cost and no matter how long it takes. Never!_

_He’s made many promises in his life, especially these past few months. He doesn’t intend to break a single one of them, least of all the one this heart calls out to him for._

_“You smell the same. Always hurt.”_

_That gives him pause. It must sense his confusion, making a weird chittering noise that might be a laugh. “Interesting. So interesting. I must know more!”_

_All out attacking doesn’t seem to be working. It doesn’t seem to want to hurt the heart any time soon, either. Maybe he could…talk to it? It seems to want that. But gambling with his most precious heart on the line…_

_If he angers it though, it might attack. It might hurt_ him _._

_He reluctantly lets the dark fire dissipate. “How about a trade, then? I tell you what you want to know, and you don’t hurt him.”_

_Its teeth flash. It opens its mouth—_

* * *

Leon’s not sure what to make of any of this.

“So,” he says, leaning back. “The world almost ended. Again. Is that right?”

“Kind of. It would have been wiped clean and then rebuilt to fit the purist fantasies of a twisted old guy obsessed with the power of darkness, so…yeah, basically end, I guess.”

Yuffie spins her chair in circles. “You sure left us out of a lot. Could you explain that time-travel thing again?”

“Uhh…I didn’t really understand it myself. It was sort of non-stop back to back bombshells after that,” Sora says. “All I know is that we saved everyone and closed Kingdom Hearts, hopefully for good.”

Sighing, Leon glances out the window at the starry, vast space. This kid, seriously. There’s always _something_ earth-shattering happening with him. “And then your heart got scattered trying to save Kairi.”

“Yup.”

“How are you here, again?”

Sometimes he wishes he wasn’t so blunt. Sora’s strange new face twists sadly, bangs falling over his eyes. “Riku saved me.”

Of course. More sacrifices. He’s really got to talk these kids at some point, maybe get them to stop doing that. He’s pretty sure the four gray hairs he has are all from Sora. “I’m guessing that’s why you look different, then.”

Sora glances up. “Oh, right, you never met him! Um, yeah… _I’m_ technically Riku, now, but it’s just me in here. I’m alone.”

Clearly. Seeing Sora expressed so, well, Sora-like on someone else’s form is frankly off-putting. No one else but Sora could make that exact pout or be so expressive with their moves.

Leon hasn’t met Riku yet, but he’s heard stories. So, _so_ many stories. It was all Sora talked about while he stayed with them at Radiant Garden clearing out Heartless.

During dinner: _“This is amazing! I bet Riku would love it—maybe not the alfredo, though, he’s super lactose intolerant.”_

After a battle: _“Can you teach me that move? When Riku comes back, he’ll never see it coming. I’ll finally even the score!”_

Walking down the streets: _“You’d guys get along so well! He looks just like you. Maybe not the hair, though. Kind of the face? A little bit? Anyways, one time when we were kids…”_

Leon knows more about this kid’s hobbies, dietary restrictions, pranking history, and sandcastle-building ability than he ever cared to know. Without even ever meeting the guy!

He sort of hated Riku the more Sora talked about him, simply for the way Sora’s eyes would grow sad and distant even as he smiles. If this Riku guy was so “awesome” as Sora claimed, then why does he keep putting that look in Sora’s gaze?

Also because of the way he treated Sora. For a so-called “friend,” he sure as hell caused Sora a ton of grief he didn’t deserve.

But apparently Riku was so devoted that he pulled a Sora himself and gave up everything just to bring him back.

He physically feels his fifth gray hair starting to grow on his fringe. At this rate, he really will look like Riku in about a year from all the stress. “Well, I honestly wish you could have told us this sooner. We could have helped.”

Sora slumps further. “I’m really sorry…like I said, it was all back to back. And most of the old pathways were closed or so far away that even just visiting them would put us in danger. It was…a really, really rough time.” Still, Sora musters a smile. “But I’m so, so happy to see you guys again, you don’t even know.”

“You’re such a sap,” Yuffie says. “Also, Leon, you should maybe watch out for that asteroid belt.”

Spinning his chair around, he hurriedly switches the settings back to manual and jerks the wheel up just before they crash headfirst into one of the boulders. “You could’a warned me quicker!” Leon growls.

“Hey, that belt means we’re close, right? I’ve run into this thing a thousand times!”

“Oh, did you now?” Seriously, does this kid have _any_ self-preservation instincts?

“Yeah. Dented the hull more times than I can count. Donald always yelled at me for it—oh, I hope him and Goofy are doing okay,” Sora frets.

Leon tilts the wheel to avoid a debris cluster. “Don’t worry, they’re alright. The King visited a few times.”

“Did he!? Whew, okay, that makes me feel better,” Sora says, then pauses. “Wait, if the King visited…he would have told you about what happened! Right? You already know about other worlds so it wouldn’t have been a problem.”

“I got a summarized version of events. He was mostly there to talk to Ienzo, but sometimes he stopped by Merlin’s.” It was a very bare-bones explanation. The King was busy all the time, and every time he talked about what happened his ears drooped so low they hesitated to ask anything else.

“Then why’d you make me tell it all over again?”

“I wanted to hear it from your perspective.” Finally, he managed to navigate his way out of the belt. Leon flips the switch back to autopilot.

“Well, I know about the same as everyone else. Past defeating Xehanort, everything is just static. It’s like…I _feel_ like something happened, but when I try to remember it’s like this big error message in my brain.”

A ball bounces on the wall rhythmically as Yuffie tosses it back and forth. Who knows where she even got it; Leon thought he’d hidden them all. “Don’t pick. Your body might be trying to protect you from a traumatic memory.”

“It’s not even my body, though,” Sora grouses.

“Fine, wise-guy, then your heart.”

Sora sits up a little. “Or what if it’s Riku! Like, _his_ heart, trapping them or something! If he was completely gone, then he couldn’t block memories, right?” Scratching his head, he tilts his head. “But I seriously can’t feel anything…ugh, my head’s hurting again.”

“What did I just say?” Leon enforces. “ _Don’t pick._ ” Even though Leon had helped with the computers in Ansem’s laboratory, hearts were still a total mystery to him. They can speculate all they want, but in the end it doesn’t really matter because none of them know what’s going on. Here’s hoping Ienzo or another castle lab rat can figure it out.

For now, though, there’s one thing he _can_ do, and that’s keep Sora alive long enough so they can actually attempt it.

“I’m not! Although, what if…”

Leon catches the ball mid-air before it hits the wall for the thirty-eighth time, ignoring Yuffies indignant _hey!_ “Nope, stop thinking.” He lobs the ball at Sora’s head and watches as he scrambles to catch it.

He snatches it just before it bonks him. His reflexes are still good, then, which means he’s getting stronger, not weaker. “Ack, Leon!” Scratch that; the ball proceeds to completely slip from his grip. Then he scrambles to catch it before it hits the tin floor, nearly braining himself on the seat edge.

Leon pinches his nose and sighs. Maybe this ‘keeping Sora alive’ business is harder than it looks. The kid seems intent on doing him in himself before anything else can get to it.

“Can you not get into trouble for five minutes? We’re almost there.”

“I’m always safe,” he lies, rubbing the bump on his head with a wince.

“You’re a wrecking ball.”

“Oh, oh, what am I?” Yuffie asks excitedly.

“A tornado. In a china shop.”

Digging under the seat, Sora gasps _aha!_ and tosses the ball back to Yuffie. “I thought china shops had bulls?”

“I’ve never been in a china shop. Can I be in a blacksmith shop instead? Then I’ll fling weapons everywhere!”

“We’ll be unstoppable!” Sora leans back too far in the chair and almost topples again. Leon’s eye twitches warningly.

“I’d still win, though. I’m more destructive.”

“What? No way! Wreaking balls beat knife tornados.”

“Uh, no? I’ll sweep you up!”

“Rock beats scissors!”

“ _Tornado_ scissors?”

Leon lets their bickering fade out as he focuses on the clock. Eighteen minutes. Eighteen more minutes is all he needs before he can drop Sora off and bail for a tall drink at Tifa’s before Cloud and/or Aerith kill him.

It’s a pleasant pipe dream, even if he knows he’d never have the chance to do it. Sora would probably find a way to spontaneously combust on the way there without his help.

The argument has dissolved into a rock, paper, scissors game. Sora wins three in a row. “Aw, what?” Yuffie pouts.

“Snooze you lose!” Sora crows. “Man, when I was younger I used to only throw rock or scissors, and always in the same order. It wasn’t until Riku called me out on it that I actually changed my strategy…” Sora’s eyes unfocus slightly, glancing at the passing stars. There’s that faraway look again.

His new features seem to want to rest in a natural ‘go away’ expression. Leon would know; Cloud and him always get called out for theirs. Yuffie calls it ‘RBF’ but refuses to explain what the hell that means.

In that moment, he doesn’t look like Sora at all. Is this what Riku was like, then? Is it…

But in no time, he turns back to them with a bright Sora smile, though Leon can’t tell how real it is. Likely is; kid never lets anything get him down. Still…

“Hey, Leon?” Yuffie says. “Is it just me, or is there more gray in your hair than usual?"

* * *

The touchdown to the Gardens is a little spotty. Sora grabs the back of Leon’s chair as the ship shudders, nearly knocking him off balance. The floor is also dangerously tilted to the right.

“Wow! That was awful,” Yuffie groans, clutching the console for dear life.

“Better than some of my landings,” Sora says. “I crashed into a rainforest once.” Yuffie heaves a little at the thought.

Leon scowls, as is his typical reaction. “Whatever. I don’t have a lot of experience with flying these ships.”

“Haha, Yuffie wasn’t kidding then?” Sora teases.

Carefully walking to the exit on the sloped floor, Leon ruffles his hair on the fly by. “You shut up. At least I didn’t fly us into an asteroid field.” Sora sticks his tongue out at him.

Throughout the whole trip, Leon squinted at him when he thought Sora wasn’t looking, as if he’s seeing something that isn’t really there. It’s the same look he gives Sora now before shaking it off and starting to head out.

Sora flattens out his shirt and fixes his hair. It won’t really matter because no one’s gonna notice a few measly wrinkles with him being a head taller with wider biceps and silver hair. Still, he wants to look presentable and not like he dozed off in the last 30 minutes of the ride.

“You missed a spot,” Leon mentions and points to the drool spot on his sleeve. Sora curses.

He pulls his borrowed jacket tighter around himself. Riku’s body is always _cold_ , even in pleasant Radiant Garden weather. Then again, he’s always been like that. It’s amazing how he could still wear those sleeveless shirts when he would literally freeze in weather under 70 degrees.

It’s not like Sora’s much better though. He shivers at the memory of Arendelle—running around in sub-zero weather without a coat? Thanks for nothing, Donald!

When he takes his first steps out of the lopsided ship, he finds himself just outside the town in a landing area. It looks way, _way_ different as he remembers it; before it was all broken pavement and abandoned dirt lots. Now, it looks like the streets were cleaned up, with some construction sites beginning housing foundations.

“Wow, you guys really cleaned this—oof!” So distracted, he bumps into Leon’s back frozen on the gangplank. “Hey, what gives?” He peers around.

Cloud blocks the path leading to the city, arms crossed. His sword is still slung over his back but looks to be in more comfortable clothing, something lighter and more suited to the weather, with shorter hair.

And he’s frowning.

“Ooo, someones in troubleeee,” Yuffie teases, dodging the cuff Leon aims at her.

Leon walks forward seemingly casually to anyone who doesn’t know him. But Sora notices the way his steps slow ever so slightly and he hides a grin. He’s _definitely_ in trouble.

“What happened to going together?” Cloud asks, expression stony.

“You know as well as I do that if you went then so would Aerith, _and_ Yuffie, _and_ Tifa if she’s in town, _and_ maybe Cid, and that ship can only hold so many people,” Leon explains. His flips his bangs back in what is maybe a suave intimidation attempt but just looks dorky. “And let’s face it, Cloud, most of us are giants. We would have been packed like sardines.”

Cloud spares a glance to Yuffie. “I see you managed to smuggle someone on board, though.”

“I didn’t _smuggle_ anyone, least of all Yuffie. She’s a free spirit.”

“Darn right. Man, you should have seen that beach, Cloud,” Yuffie gushes. “White sands, sunny skies, old creepy wooden houses…”

“I would have if I was invited. Oh, wait.”

“Look, I’m not gonna apologize.” Leon leans in closer, and Sora barely manages to catch the semi-whispered sentence as he hops off the stairs and makes his way to the group. The way Cloud looks at Sora, though, is telling enough that it’s about him.

He catches the words “crowd” and “stress” and pieces together the rest. “You should have brought him!” Sora insists. “It’s fine, it wouldn’t have bothered me.”

“You’ve had a rough few months. I took initiative,” Leon argues.

Sora tries to stay mad, he really does. But it’s so sweet that Leon cares. It doesn’t feel as overbearing like it might have when he was an emotional wreak the day before. Still, though. He’s not helpless!

“It’s just _Cloud!_ What was he gonna do, glare at me? He’s harmless! Like one of those scary-but-sweet guys from Halloween Town.”

“I think I resent that,” Cloud says mildly.

“There’s seriously a place called Halloween Town?” Yuffie says. “What!”

“Anyways! I’m _fine.”_

“Not risking it.”

“You’re preaching to the choir, Leon.” Cloud seems to have sided with Leon, though, and drops his crossed arms to focus his gaze on Sora. “Sora. You made it back in one piece.”

“Sort of,” he says. Now’s not the time to talk about the whole story, _again._ The next time he tells it, it better be the last time.

They trade smiles (well, Sora smiles, Cloud smirks). He doesn’t comment on his new everything other than, “Your hair’s different.” He doesn’t seem to be treading lightly like everyone else has around him, which Sora appreciates more than he knows. It soothes his ruffled feathers.

“Aerith didn’t come to chew me out?” Leon asks.

“She’s saving the lecture until you get home.” Cloud starts leading the party down the winding road to the bailey. “Let’s just say she was slightly upset. And by upset I mean furious. And by slightly, I mean I saw her practicing fire spells on the kitchen table when I left.” With a wince, Leon cringes a little.

“I’ll vouch for you, Leon,” Sora defends.

“I won’t,” Yuffie betrays.

The path isn’t very long, just twisty. The closer they get to the town interior, the better looking it appears. More repair seems to be focused on the innards first and foremost. There’s grass starting to grow on medians, and flowerpots in windows. It looks homely and cozy in the war-torn land.

Even though he’s never seen Radiant Garden in his prime, he’s heard all about it, and now more than ever this town looks like the royal Gardens finally emerging from the shadow of Hollow Bastion.

He recognizes the path a few more blocks forward—that fat orange cat sleeping in the blue house window always points the way, thankfully that much hasn’t changed—and makes to skip ahead of the group. Before he moseys too far ahead, Leon pulls him back by his hood.

“Hey, what gives?” Sora complains.

“Don’t wander off. It might be dangerous.”

“I know the path. See the cat?” He points to the waving orange tail in the window. “That means it’s two more houses then a left at that weird mouse painting, then keep going until you see the tree that looks like the mango man which means you’ve gone too far—”

“You’ve driven a spaceship here— _multiple times—_ and you don’t know even street names?” Leon asks, a little horrified. “How the hell did you navigate yourself to the breakfast table this morning?”

“Well, it’s not like there’s a lot of signs in space. It’s all gray rock, gray rock, slightly bigger gray rock, and lasers. I had to get creative!”

Leon considers that for a moment before grumbling and walking a little faster, which means Sora totally won that argument. “Who’s the mango man?” Yuffie wonders.

“Uh, the guy that sells mangos. You don’t have a mango guy?” Actually, looking back he’s never seen a mango tree in Radiant Garden. The only other time was in the Caribbean, but those were nothing compared to Destiny Islands copyrighted worlds-greatest™ mangos at the weekly farmers market.

Great, now he’s hungry again. Just where the heck did this sudden appetite come from?

Cloud cuts in before Sora can go too far ahead again. “It’s easier to look for the shady alleyway with the trashcan that looks like a bullfrog. Two more blocks and you’re there.”

“Oh, great, not you too,” Leon complains. “You look for signs in a town, streams in a forest, lava flows in a volcano, _away_ from gunfire in a—"

“There’s the mouse!” Sora exclaims. Wait, now that he’s looking at it… “Wait, wait, that’s a _lucky emblem!”_ He scrambles for his pockets.

“What is going on,” Cloud says as Sora turns his pockets inside out before remembering that Kairi’s probably got his phone. Or, Riku’s actually, because his phone was likely obliterated when he left to Kingdom-Hearts-knows-where. Um, they really should have thought this through before leaving the islands.

But Sora doesn’t really roll that way so now he’s stuck with crushing disappointment from no way to photograph the first ever emblem in the Gardens. “Aw man…”

“Why do I even…” Leon digs in his pocket, captures a quick picture, then stuffs the camera back in his pocket. “There, let’s go.”

Instantly his mood brightens. “Ooh, ooh send that to me! Or, actually I have a new number, I’ll give it to you—did you get a good angle with everything in focus? I wish I coulda gotten a selfie with it to prove we found it—”

“Sora, holy cow, calm _down,”_ Leon says exasperatedly. “What’s gotten into you?”

“Second wind,” is all Sora says with the wide-eyed overly-alertness of a man who’s had exactly two hours of sleep in three-days-going-on-twelve-months.

Everyone seems to get it because exactly none of them have any idea what the definition of self-care is. They pick up the pace.

Eventually they pass by the purplish palm-frond tree that he mentioned. Yuffie gives it an assessing look and shakes her head. “Nothing like mangos,” she mutters.

Then they’re climbing the doorstop to a familiar-looking house, with cozy looking curtains billowing over the open window. Sora’s burst of energy suddenly drains out of him again as the reality sinks in. It…really has been a long time since he’s been here…

This was the place they held meetings in while Merlin was out. Where they slept in between long nights of Heartless hunts and research. It became a second home to Sora, especially after losing the one in Traverse Town, where he laughed and cried and made a life in after waking up a year later in a world that almost forgot all about him.

And now, he’s doing it all over again.

Leon nudges him gently before he can get too lost in his thoughts. “The place looks nice, right?”

“Yeah…” Sora swallows, choking back the thickness in his throat. “Yeah. Um, nice color.”

“Don’t encourage him. It’s hideous,” Cloud says, glaring at the rather, uh, _interesting_ bright green color of the house. Yuffie nods along like this is an old argument.

“I’m not wasting paint just because it got mixed slightly wrong,” Leon defends. With a click, he unlocks the door, hinges moving with a loud squeak.

The home is modestly decorated, with simple wooden furniture and a few flowers soaking up sun in the window. On one wall, there’s a single line of duct tape ineffectively holding a crack together, the only glaring blemish. A few weapons and sharpening stones lie on the coffee table, along with a half-drunk cup of most-certainly-cold coffee.

Shuffling from inside draws him away from his observing of the (kinda ugly) curtains. “That better be you guys— _with_ Sora!” a voice echoes off the walls.

“Yeah, it’s us. Back in one piece,” Leon calls back. He struggles with kicking off a boot before giving up and banging it on the couch side until it flies off into the shadows, never to be seen again. “Thanks for your concern.”

The voice draws a little closer. “Do you know how worried I was? The nerve…” a head peaks around the corner, a wide smile on her familiar, fine features “Hi!” Aerith says happily.

Cloud sniffs. “What’s that smell?” Indeed, there is a distinct burning smell lingering in the room.

“Oh, a little fire almost burned the sitting room down, no biggie.” Her gaze fixes on Leon and she puts her hands on her hips. “I _thought_ we planned to go meet Sora together?”

The guilty party crosses his arms defensively. “That ship is about the size of a freezer box. I didn’t want to overwhelm him.”

“And you didn’t even bring him back?” She looks around for a moment and furrows her brows when no spiky-haired brown-haired not-Cloud guy jumps in.

“Um. Hi, Aerith,” Sora says, moving his head to catch her eyes. She gasps.

“Oh my goodness. I didn’t even see you there!” Aerith rushes over. “I don’t know how I couldn’t, you’re like a foot taller. Um, you _are_ Sora right?”

Sheepishly, Sora looks away. “Yeah…ta-dah.” He gives the most lackluster cheer in the world.

Aerith seems to notice his mood. She goes in for a hug which Sora gratefully accepts. He’d be a fool not to; Aerith’s hugs are the best hugs. “I’m so glad you’re here.”

Closing his eyes, he lets himself relax into this moment of comfort. “Yeah…yeah, me too.” He pulls back a little. “You, um, didn’t recognize…”

“Not at first, no,” Aerith apologizes guiltily. “Sorry, I’m just so used to…you know. But I can definitely tell now.”

“I told you he looked different,” Leon grumbles.

“I still have a bone to pick with you, mister, don’t think you’re off the hook just yet,” Spinning around, she gives Leon her best glare, which is pretty scary and kind of puts Cloud’s to shame right now. Yuffie looks positively thrilled at the brewing fight.

“Why is everyone against me today?” Leon argues. “Look, I’m sorry, but I did what’s best for Sora, okay?”

Instead of continuing, though, she just relaxes her pose and laughs a little. “I know. It’s fine, I wasn’t really upset. I was mostly just worried.”

“You are way too easy to make fun of,” Yuffie says and wanders off when the brewing fight looks to be put on the backburner.

Sora takes in all the new features. The house is big, but it doesn’t seem like all of them were staying here anymore. Maybe now that Radiant Garden is expanding, they all got separate places close by? And because Aerith was the first face he saw here, maybe it’s hers. “Your house looks nice, Aerith!” Sora compliments.

“Oh, no, no, this is theirs,” she points to his two escorts leaning on the walls like true tough guys trying to act cool in their very cute and quaint domestic cottage. “I painted mine something, um, better.” Leon throws his hands up and even Cloud snickers slightly.

That explains the whetstones and the crack. Two battle-hardened swordsmen in one house? Bound to cause some chaos, even if the home is very cute.

A pot clatters in the kitchen. There’s a muffled curse. Everyone glances at each other. “Let’s sit down before Yuffie tears apart our kitchen again,” Cloud suggests.

* * *

It’s a while later of talking and catching up and preventing kitchen-related disasters when the second wind abruptly stops blowing. Those nonexistent hours of sleep have finally caught up to him and they want payment _now._

Kairi had joined them at some point (“Lea and Xion said they’ll be back later,” she explains. “The groceries actually couldn’t wait. Cranberry sauce actually expires, who knew?”) and now shakes him a little from where he started to doze off. “Maybe you should go to bed,” she insists, easing the mug out of his sleep-addled fingers.

“Ah, hm?” Sora mumbles. “What about…”

“I’ll go on ahead and let Ienzo know,” Kairi says. She slips a phone into his hand. It has a sturdy gray-blue case fitted on it; Riku’s. “I think sleeping is more important right now.”

“Hm…” Truthfully, that sounds wonderful right now, especially because he didn’t really want to talk to the researcher immediately anyways. He’s having such a nice time with everyone and he knows the second he steps foot in that lab it’s going to be all sterile and cold and ugh, not right now.

Staying in this house, though, with its terrible exterior paint and charming little homely touches sounds really, really nice. Almost as if reading his mind, before he can even ask, Cloud nods as Leon starts cleaning up the mugs. “I’ll go set up the guest room.”

Sora smiles softly in thanks, a contented feeling curling up in his chest.

After Kairi helps him program the phone (his first received message is the lucky emblem picture. Leon pats his back with his patented constipated look as Sora gives him a big hug), everyone starts petering out until the remaining party start badgering him to _go on, get out of here, get some sleep!_ as Sora sways on his feet and stumbles on the landing.

Lying in bed that night, he curls up around the phone, flickering the screen on whenever it starts to darken. The background was left unchanged; it’s one of Sora’s selfies, one he distinctly remembers sending to Riku along with many others while he was traveling.

Riku didn’t text back often (he was just as hopeless with a phone as Sora was, so he called more often than not), but Sora knows he cherished every text he got. Seeing the proof in his hands though, that Riku learned how to change his background to one of his dorky selfies so he could see it every day was—something else entirely.

Longing pulls at him but doesn’t break him like it had the last time. The screen clicks off. He presses it back on.

This one was one of the few of just the two of them. Riku’s always been a little camera-shy, but Sora had managed to rope him in a few months ago (or, longer now, actually…he keeps forgetting how long it’s been…) into taking a selfie.

It’s one of his favorites ever; Sora, with brown hair and a face-splitting grin, a dorky peace sign on one hand and his arm pulling Riku in so close their cheeks mash together; Riku, half squinting and grinning brightly, so incredibly _bright_ , collar ruffled and hair windblown, his eyes focused on Sora, all for him, the fondest look in them he’s ever seen, soft…

The screen darkens again. In the reflection, he sees Riku. He sees _himself_ and it hurts; it’s not who he wants, who he needs.

Click on.

No time to mope, though. When Riku’s back ( _when_ , never if) they’ll take more selfies, so much so that they’ll fill all the storage space and then have to spend hours figuring out how to take more without deleting any. And they’ll do it together, just like always, and—and they’ll travel the world to take them! With the lanterns in Corona lighting the silver in his hair, or them wearing big fluffy coats in the Arendelle mountains, and so many more they lose count but keep them _all_ —

He falls asleep like that, with the phone’s glow and the memories it holds to keep him company. The night is dreamless.

* * *

(Just before morning, a voice may have spoken to him, or—was it more of a feeling, pulling, curious, floating on a calm sea and reaching out, for a connection, a thread—

Gone, when he wakes.)

* * *

Despite the supposed urgency to reach the castle, they’re not going fast at all. Sora’s feeling _amazing_ ; he slept like a rock for a full 8 hours and is _feeling it!_ Everyone else seems to feel the same. Moods were high at the breakfast; the sun was out, the eggs tasted fantastic, and no plates were broken. Overall, a great start.

So instead of booking it to the labs, they decided to take the very long way around so he could get the full Radiant Garden experience.

“That’s the new fountain we’re working on,” Cloud explains. He points to a cracked, dry fountain in the middle of the square covered in yellow warning tape.

“What happened to it?”

“The old one was obliterated when a Heartless crashed through it like a battering ram.”

“Oh, show him the tower!” Yuffie says. “It’s so much fun to climb up, you can do wicked tricks off the side of it.”

The tower is neat—a small cluster of buildings surround it, and if Sora was at his peak, he’d probably jump to the very tippy-top of them and birdcall off the roof. As it is, he settles for the third tallest spot and ignoring all shouts of his name until he’s had his fill.

With the breeze running through his extra-long hair, he feels _free._ Like old Sora.

Well, he’s still the same Sora, nothing’s changed. It’s just after whatever happened when he left, and with the weight of Riku’s— _disappearance_ on his shoulders, he doesn’t seem _exactly_ the same. Hence, old and new same Sora.

That’s a mouthful. He’s bad at putting things into words, okay.

Eventually he does climb down, and they take the scenic route around the bailey to show him the behind the scenes of the construction. It’s a weekend, so nobody’s really there. Who wants to work on a nice Saturday like this?

Sora takes big steps to see how far his legs stretch now—not too much longer, but still different. Speaking of different…the air in the alley has a weird feel in it. In fact, the deeper they walk into it, the stranger it becomes. What gives?

Then he feels it.

There’s an itch on the back of his neck that’s typically only caused by one thing; something’s nearby, and it’s nothing good.

It seems everyone else has picked up on it too and move in close formation to each other. Their group slowly continues, voices gradually petering out, until—

Thrusting out a hand, Aerith stops them. “Wait. Something’s up ahead.”

The dark prickling feeling that’s been gnawing at Sora ever since they left the bailey starts itching harder. His hairs are standing on end now, and he keeps his eyes moving towards any faint disturbance.

He’s always been attuned to threats (years of putting his life on the line everyday kind of did that to you) but it’s never been this strong. Maybe it’s a side-effect of Riku’s body? Detecting darkness?

But that doesn’t make sense, because hearts are what’s most important to the body, right? And this body is lacking Riku’s. Maybe…

There’s a clank of a can up ahead, and like something out of a horror movie the can slowly rolls towards them until it stops at Cloud’s shoes. He doesn’t spare it a glance, just keeps his eyes sharp to the shadows.

Holding up a hand for silence, Leon directs them forward. He shushes, body naturally falling onto the balls of his feet to sneak. Then he hears it. Faint rusting. Two black antennas poking up from behind a trashcan lid. Then another. And another.

One of the antennae twitch their way at their slight rustle. Yellow eyes fixate on their position. _Busted._

“Heartless!” Leon calls. As if practiced, the restoration crew fans out and draws their weapons, falling into a battle stance.

Immediately, the Heartless perk up, and—oh, that’s not just four or five shadows, that’s like a horde of bats, a few bandits, wyverns, is that seriously a _defender_ —

Now that they’ve turned the corner, there sure are a _lot_ of them. This clearly wasn’t a group of half-baked stragglers—this was a large, organized group. Like, _if the door had never been closed_ kind of sized group.

“What are they doing here?” Sora shout-whispers. Heartless threats should be decreasing in the worlds, not increasing!

“No idea. They’ve been pouring in the past few weeks out of nowhere!”

“Weeks?” Sora wonders before his attention is pulled away by a Heartless snake slithering towards them. Rearing back, it hisses loudly, before screeching as Leon fires a bolt into its exposed throat.

“No time to talk. Get out of here! We can handle this.” Cloud holds out his sword arm, blocking his view with the massive blade.

“No way! I can fight!” Sora says, and holds out his hand. But his fingers curl up without anything happening, his mind blanking.

“Not like this, Sora,” Aerith says apologetically. She summons a barrier around him and immediately, everyone begins crowding him. Making a protective friend-barrier in any lingering gaps.

“Hey!” he says, a little miffed. True, he hasn’t tried summoning his Keyblade yet, but that doesn’t mean he’s helpless!

One of the Heartless spit what looks like gooey black fire, just barely missing Yuffie. The goop starts sizzling like eggs on a pan and eats through a chunk of cobblestone in an instant. Another one body slams Cloud, sending him skidding almost a block away with one flail.

…okay, yeah, that’s _maybe_ going to be hard to grapple with without a weapon.

Honestly, though, he’s a little afraid of what he’s going to summon. He feels the connection with the Keyblade as strong as ever, but…there’s something else there too, like a sudden forking in a well-trampled path he’s walked for years. The trail looks foggy and unknown. He can’t see the other side to know what’s calling to him.

And that scares him.

As soon as the bulk of the Heartless spot them, they pounce. Leon spares him one last glance before going for a large chunk near the edge of the barrier. Aerith focuses on support as Leon and Cloud focus on the physical, blades flashing and guns firing in a frantic blaze in the middle of the mist. On occasion, a hail of shuriken fly out of nowhere, skewering shadows, and he can faintly see Yuffie leaping from rooftop to rooftop above him.

And Sora is left stranded in the barrier, like a _kid_.

Forget _that_. So what if he died, came back, shattered his heart and is now stuck in a body he doesn’t really know how to fight with? He has to help!

Once again he holds out his hand. “C’mon, c’mon…” he mumbles. His hand flexes. Why is this so _difficult?_

He takes a deep breath. Lets it out slowly. Carefully, he relaxes his fingers.

A massive, fiery explosion echoes in the streets. Some Heartless go flying in the air like rocks on a trampoline. It jolts him out of concentration for a second, and he accidentally locks eyes with a large purple-eyed Heartless.

Wait. Purple?

It’s eyes flash lavender. Tilting its head to the sky, it howls, and suddenly half the Heartless just—stop.

And all those eyes suddenly lock on to him.

The fastest ones that look like bats fire towards the barrier he’s protected in. They attack it mindlessly, brainlessly, throwing themselves over and over at the barrier without a care in the world, as if they didn’t care about anything than getting to what’s inside. Their eyes never leave his form.

Backing up, he glances around at what to do. Through the slight frostiness of the barrier, he can still see everyone fighting Heartless (distinctly yellow-eyed) though they’ve started to take notice of his predicament.

“Sora! Don’t move!” Aerith calls, refreshing the barrier even from how far away she is. Yuffie is closest; she knocks down a few of the bats, but they don’t even notice; they just keep bashing their heads on the barrier even as their companions start to disappear.

A large Neoshadow-esque creature crashes into the shield, cracking it as it groans warningly. Sora flinches. Weaponless and nearly barrier-less, they might as well just attach a flashing neon ‘FREE LUNCH’ sign on his back, he’s that much of a sitting duck.

And it keeps getting worse. One of the beaks of the bird-bats breaks through, and Sora lashes out at it instinctively. It screeches, darkness flowing off its damaged body, and that’s when Sora realizes he had bashed it with a _Keyblade_.

_Oh, how the tables have turned._

The Kingdom Key is in his hand, cold where it should be warm but solid and _there_ and that’s all that matters right now!

Sora smiles a feral grin. “If you want a fight, then come ‘n get it!” He yells, lowering into his usual stance. It feels a little awkward; Riku’s way too tall, but it’s still his favorite fighting stance.

“Don’t _taunt_ them!” Cloud scolds.

The barrier cracks again. Sora stares down the thousand pairs of purple lights. No matter what everyone yells at him for, he’s going to prove himself. Here and now.

The Keyblade metal feels like icicles under his fingertips. He grips it tighter and ignores the pain.

A shadow breaks through in a flurry of crackles and the effect ripples through the whole barrier before Aerith can restore it. It launches itself forward, and Sora meets it head on with a cry of his own.

Then, he fights.

For what feels like hours, it’s attack after attack of exhilarating hits, adrenaline pounding through his veins. Magic feels weird in his hands so he tries not to rely on it as much, only casting a few Fires or other simple spells. Mainly, it’s just dashing, dodging, attacking, focus on who’s next, who’s in a group who’s fastest who’s strongest, go, go, go!

He slays two. Cuts a line though the middle of a group. Leaps in the air and knocks a few to the ground.

Another. Again. More pour in. Where are they even coming from? How many _are_ there?

Don’t get distracted, not now. Focus, focus!

Three more take the place of the one he struck down. And he’s still no less surrounded than he was.

What he didn’t realize before this point was that the barrier hid how numerous the threat was. It looked like a lot, but not too bad—he’s handled way worse.

But this is _a lot._

He also didn’t remember that he handled those bad situations when he was in way better physical and metaphysical condition. He might—have miscalculated. Just slightly.

Faintly, he can hear everyone else’s voices outside his bubble, but it’s lost in the sea of black and purple boxing him in.

Quickly, he attacks a leaping shadow.

_No._

A prancing cloak is torn to ribbons.

_Not now._

Swooping bats are burned out of the world.

_Never, never, not ever again._

Shadows and creatures and purple monsters dripping shadows mindless attack after attack he fights and _fights_ —

_I PROMISED!_

(That’s not his voice.)

In desperation, something changes.

Energy crackles within him, pulled from outside, his Keyblade flashing and _burning—_

The Heartless dive in as he bends inwards, him scratching and clawing, their darkness dripping as they go in for the kill—

—and he _explodes._

He sees as if he’s trapped behind a sturdy window. The red lashes that whip from his form, battering away shadows with little effort, slicing them to ribbons; the sharp wave of darkness that radiates outwards, slicing and cutting and tearing; the heavy weight of a Keyblade in his hand, glowing, familiar but so _different._

It feels heavy and heady and _good,_ like something broke free, finally snapped. It’s not his, it’s not his feelings, but it _is_ his because this thread is just as much his as it is to the one at the other end of it. This belongs to him.

 _To you?_ To him?

It’s all a rush.

Maybe he blacked out. The next he remembers, Sora sees himself kneeling on the upturned dirt, cobblestones ripped up and darkness remnants disappearing before his eyes.

Every single Heartless was destroyed. All at once.

Footsteps rush up to him. “Sora!”

His hand is pulled away from his face. He didn’t realize he was holding it. Everything feels numb and floaty, and Sora feels his awareness starting to sink. “Hey, hey, Sora, are you okay?” Aerith asks. She pushes his hair away from his face.

There’s blood on his hand. Something drips down his face. Head injury? Is that what it’s from? It doesn’t hurt…

His other hand feels trapped. It won’t move when he tries to lift it, weighted by the weapon it holds. From his peripheral, his eyes catch dimpled silver, and the blade hums in his hand though not to him, exactly. Or, it is? Is it?

“Sora, what the hell just happened?” Leon bursts at his silence. Slowly, Sora feels his head move, not actually feeling it, but now he’s looking. Still sinking, though. Everything is so floaty. So numb.

 _Okay._ “Okay,” he mumbles. “It’s okay now.”

“We need to get him out of here,” Cloud says, bending down to throw one of his arms around his shoulder. Sora is still focusing on nothing and nowhere and that voice. That voice…

His eyes slide seemingly without command to the blade again. In Braveheart’s shine, green stares back at him.

The blade shivers in his hand though Sora can’t feel cold or heat or anything but the weight and the sinking-heavy-tired feeling pushing down on him. In his head, stuffed with cotton, his energy gone, he can only listen. He only _wants_ to listen.

_You’re safe._

“Riku,” Sora mumbles with numb lips, smiling. He’d know that tone anywhere.

Things pause. _Me? That’s…me._ The blade doesn’t shake this time. _You remember me…_

What a silly thought. There’s no way he’d ever forget Riku. Never, not in a million years, or a trillion. They couldn’t pry those memories from him if anyone dared try.

His body moves on three axis’, pulled by Cloud on one end and dragged mentally by two. Everything is so heavy but that voice is so _warm…_

_…I remember. I…!_

Something breaks again, but it’s not with the force of gale winds. It’s gentle like a feather falling into a still lake, the ripples radiating softly out in a gentle _oh_ of realization.

“Sora, talk to us, please.”

Sora wants to reply. His mouth won’t move; his mind is taken over by other thoughts again, and they’re not all his. It’s all fuzzy around the edges, but he feels—

_Safe, you’re safe, I know you._

And he is. Because he’s _here_.

_Sora…_

“I got him,” not his voice says even as it spills from his lips. It’s deeper, huskier, so so comforting, and the last of Sora’s energy goes as the fuzzy, safe darkness envelopes his eyes, his friend’s shocked faces the last thing he sees, his heartsong faintly, ever so faintly, singing him to sleep.  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Move used at the end is a modified Sacrifice, a fun little move Terra and Riku can use where you turn health into damage. Good last resort. 
> 
> I’m so excited for the DLC, ahhh!!!!! Cannot stop thinking about it. I wanted this story done before it comes out but that’s not looking likely. Oh well!! :) it’ll still be done soon enough!


	5. Surface Tension

_Sora!_

_Flashes of memory fragments flash in and out of view. Sandcastles on the beach, fort-making in storms, racing in the sun._

_How could he ever forget Sora?_

_Everything still feels heavy, like swimming through a sea of molasses. Kicking his legs, he fights to stay on the surface, to be with Sora, make sure he’s_ safe.

_Sora’s friends seem to understand, though. For all of Riku’s failings, they pick up the slack, easily helping Sora the rest of the way. Knowing that Sora’s in good hands, he lets the pull on him tighten, dragging him back under._

_His fingertips just brush the surface one last time before he can hold on no longer. He closes his eyes and lets the still sea wash over him, ever so faintly listening to that comforting, humming tune ripple through the black._

* * *

The slide back to consciousness is slow. Murmuring voices waver in and out. They yelled, once, but it barely even phased him. Everything is so heavy…

So he rests, and slides, and slowly, slowly swims against the current until his eyes finally blink open.

He licks his dry lips. He’s lying on a soft, if stiff, bed, two covers pulled up to his chin. Outside the large window, rays of light start peaking through the dark in red-orange sunrise. There are no voices above him or in the room, and for some reason he feels a bolt of disappointment at that. He’s forgetting something, he knows he is…

But it’s morning, he’s hungry, his head feels weird, and it’s too quiet. Thinking can wait till after he’s hunted down some toast. Oh, or pancakes. Or eggs!

As he sits up, though, memories flash by his eyes suddenly—purple eyes, Keyblades, silver gold white, his friends, the voice, _the voice_ —

“Ah!” Flailing, he trips as he stands too quickly, slamming into the floor with a _thunk_. “Ow.”

Something clatters outside the room. Footsteps. The door flies open. “Sora!” Aerith shouts.

“Hi,” he replies sheepishly. “Um…maybe some help?” He kicks at the blankets tangled in his legs.

“Be careful!” she scolds, quickly pulling him out of his blanket imprisonment. “You’re going to get yourself hurt again.”

“Again?” he asks confusedly just as more heads poke through the door.

“He awake?” Leon asks, eyebrows furrowed. Marching with purpose, Kairi stomps in just behind him.

As Sora stands up (with Aerith’s help, because all his muscles have the structural integrity of pudding), she tweaks his ear painfully. “You scared me again! Don’t _do_ that.”

“Oww, hey, it wasn’t my fault,” he complains, rubbing his ear. His long silver hair tickles his hand, reminding him of the situation again.

Physically, he seems fine—they must have healed him or something after that ridiculous fight, but it doesn’t seem to have kicked in all the way because his bones pop painfully when he moves and his wrist aches like crazy. Sora can’t really remember when that happened though. Or how he got here. After the weird Heartless jumped him, everything got so fuzzy he’s not sure what was real or a hallucination.

Especially Riku. Did he imagine that, or did it really…? He shakes his head. Probably imagined…

“They _told_ you to stay out of it,” Kairi says. Leon keeps his gaze sharp to back up her point.

Sora knows she’s just worried, which is why his tone stays light and joking to ease the tension. “I was gonna! Then they started going crazy…I, uh, don’t really remember a lot after that.”

“You nearly got torn to pieces.”

“But I didn’t!”

“You’ve been asleep for _three days_.”

“But I’m still oka—wait, three days?” Wow. No wonder he almost fell over. His legs probably forgot how to move. That doesn’t explain why he _still_ feels so exhausted, though.

“You woke up a few times, but only long enough for some water or food,” Aerith explains. “You were acting strange.”

He scratches his head. “I…don’t remember that either. What do you mean?”

“You didn’t say much. It was just like you were really out of it. You kept mumbling about the ocean and molasses or something.”

“Snakes, too,” Leon says.

“And kept asking if we were okay,” Kairi chimes in. “Or if _you_ were.”

Huh. “Huh,” Sora ponders out loud. “That’s definitely weird. Um, are you guys sure you’re—"

“For the millionth and one time, _yes_ we are okay.” Sora opens his mouth. “Yes, everyone else is too, they’re out scoping the streets for more Heartless right now.” He closes his mouth then has another idea—and is swiftly interrupted. “ _Yes,_ you’re in the Radiant Garden castle. Yes, it’s a great view. And yes, it’s safe. For real.” His mouth closes again with a click of finality.

“When did you become a mind-reader?”

“When you developed short-term memory loss,” Kairi says, and tugs on his arm. “C’mon, let’s get you to Ienzo before you fall asleep again, lazy.”

The castle is big, but all the hallways are marked. It’s smaller than Disney Castle which also helps navigation. On occasion, they pass by someone in the hall, but with everyone boxing him in they don’t give him a second glance.

Looking out all the windows are his favorite part—seeing the sun rise from every angle this high up is incredibly beautiful. The décor would be a close second, all pretty golds and reds everyone stops him from touching and potentially breaking. It’s way different than how it was in Hollow Bastion!

On the short walk, they tell him what happened. Apparently, he passed out after pulling off some kind of self-destruction move, after which he started up the nonsensical mumbling before faceplanting into the curb. Very un-hero-like of him.

“I don’t even know a move like that,” he balks. “That sounds painful.”

“It was…off-putting,” which is short-speak for ‘incredibly terrifying.’ “There was a lot of red ropes attacking the monsters, almost like whips.”

“Red whips?” _Just like Twizzlers._ His stomach growls a little.

“And your Keyblade changed,” Leon says. Everyone turns to look at him.

“Oh, I forgot about that,” Aerith hums. “Maybe the move was connected to the blade? You mentioned those, what was it, form-changes?—in some of your other weapons.”

“They’re usually just a small physical change…what did it look like?”

“Silver. Wide. It looked like a sword that got bent in half and bitten by a hole-puncher.”

He and Kairi lock wide eyes. “Braveheart!” They say in unison. “Black handle, same keychain as mine?” Sora elaborates. They nod and Sora gasps.

“That’s Riku’s Keyblade! I summoned Braveheart! That means…that means Riku’s not all gone!” Sora exclaims. “Right? Keyblades are connected to your heart!”

“When Riku passed a Keyblade to me, it changed,” Kairi says pensively. Destiny’s Embrace jumps to her hand, the flowers and vines distinctly different from the bat-winged form of Riku’s old Way to the Dawn. “If he didn’t give you his Keyblade specifically, you shouldn’t be able to summon it, I think.”

Stopping in his tracks, Sora stares down at Riku’s hands, flexing them a little and feeling the ache in his left wrist. “ _I_ summoned Braveheart?” A pause. “Wait, bent in half? Punched through?”

“That’s what I said,” Leon grunts.

“All the way through? Or just dimpled?”

“Like swiss cheese. It was also cracked to all hell.”

Just like that, any good mood of his falls away. “It…broke?”

“It was like that when you summoned it,” Aerith says, laying a hand on his shoulder. “Still, even though it was damaged, it took out all the Heartless in one fell swoop. If Keyblades are connected to your hearts, then his must be really strong.”

Sora keeps staring at his hands with a frown. Then he thinks as hard as can to summon Braveheart, trying to remember the shape, the feel. Brushing by the Kingdom Key’s pull, he reaches further, trying to grasp for the thread.

Nothing calls back. He digs further, squinting his eyes tightly shut. Reaching, grasping, nothing there, other way, reaching—

Lost in his head, he abruptly hits a—wall, of some kind? It’s really sturdy. He pushes on it with all his mental might, and—there! Just barely, it gives a little. He puts more effort into it.

Yet the more he pushes, the more it _aches,_ like a tire iron being slowly shoved into his skull with every shove. But he’s close, he _knows_ he’s close, so close, if he can only just push a little bit more past the pain…

Suddenly, he’s jerked back to reality as someone shakes his shoulders roughly, blinking his eyes open. “Hey, snap out of it!” Leon calls.

“H-huh?” Sora mumbles. Something trickles down his lip and he wipes it to find a smear of blood on the back of his hand. “Oh…” Ew. Helpfully, Kairi holds out a handkerchief.

“Don’t do that!” Aerith scolds. “Really, Sora, _please_ be careful. We don’t know what’s going on.”

He tilts his head back and sniffs back the blood even if it’s gross, following wherever they lead him as his head pounds like crazy. “There was a wall of some kind. I think I can get past it if I pushed just a little more—”

“ _No,”_ everyone says at once. “Until Ienzo gives you the all-clear and you stop looking like you’re about to keel over, don’t try it,” Leon demands.

Sora would argue, but his head is seriously being stabbed with very pointy rocks and his throat tastes like copper so he’ll save his defense for later. And anyways, just as they say that, they open a white door and enter a familiar-looking lab space with a familiar-looking scientist.

“Oh dear,” Ienzo says calmly. “What happened to you?”

* * *

Somewhere between the reflex test (fine) and the visual test (also fine, though he couldn’t tell between P’s and F’s in the middle row), his nose stops bleeding even as his head keeps aching. Which is seriously starting to get annoying—it’s like he has an everlasting headache. Is that _ever_ going to go away?

“Why didn’t you say anything?” Ienzo says when he mentions it. Two pills are dropped in his palm. “Acetaminophen. They should be fine for you to take.”

Gratefully, he downs them with a swig of water. Then he takes another sip because dang, he’s dehydrated. Can a nosebleed do that to you? Three days of sleep probably can.

“Have you had any problems with eating?”

“No. Not any longer.”

“Any trouble moving or performing physical activities?”

“At first. It’s easier now though.”

“Do you have any discomfort?”

“Not really.” Idly, he rotates his wrist and rubs his head with his other hand. “My wrist hurts, and I have a headache, and I’m all sore, but not like, too badly.”

“Hm. May I see?” Ienzo holds out a gloved hand and Sora, after a moment, hands over his hand. He prods it, rotates it, watches the way his face twists in discomfort when it flexes too far. “This wasn’t healed with magic earlier, meaning it’s likely an old injury. I would have to do an x-ray to be sure, but it appears to have been a break of some kind that is affecting the range of motion.”

“I think I would remember getting an injury like that,” Sora says, confused. Great, barely even a week in Riku’s body and he’s already breaking it. Riku’s going to be so mad at him when he comes back.

“It is likely an injury Riku had sustained on his body in the past and persisted.” Ienzo lets him go, and Sora pulls the wrist back to give it his own critical eye. An old injury, one that Riku never told him about.

Actually, come to think of it, Riku always favored his left side, hasn’t he? But that was his side where Xemnas attacked him—he can feel the scar through the shirt, raised and speckled, another painful sign of devotion Sora doesn’t deserve.

In harsh, rainy weather or when he pulled off too many high-flying flips in a row, he tended to rely more heavily on his right, Sora remembers—a problem Sora might have to deal with in the near-future the longer he's in Riku's body. That was only for his side’s benefit, though; Sora can’t remember any mention of wrist pain. Apparently, this was something Riku had tried to hide from him.

Sora tsks. He adds this to his list of ‘things to tell Riku off for and maybe kick his butt a little for too.’

He stifles a yawn. Leon and Aerith had gone to the kitchens to hunt down some breakfast after the hundredth and one time his stomach rumbled on the way here, but that was ages ago. Or at least it felt like it. The longer he sits without activity, especially without food, the more he wants to fall over and sleep some more.

That would probably cause mass hysteria though. Complete with yelling, shoulder-shaking, overprotective bodyguards, and careful-Sora’s-made-of-glass, annoyingly.

From the side, Kairi listens in silently, phone pinging every so often. She hasn’t said much since they came in, only requesting a pastry from the kitchens, content to let Sora do the talking.

Ienzo finishes his fifth page of notes and flips it over to the sixth. Sora swings his legs back and forth from where they dangle off the table. “So, uhh, is there anything wrong?” The scientist’s expression has barely changed throughout the whole exchange. It’s really hard to read him.

“So far, you seem to be in fine physical shape, though I cannot confirm this without running laboratory samples,” he muses. “I would like to ask you more questions before that. Your case is certainly one of the more unusual I’ve seen and having the opportunity to actually discuss it with a subject is a welcome change.”

Now he sees the faint eager gleam in his eyes. _Like a true scientist._ Sora shrugs; he’s already been poked and prodded a bunch, what’s a little more? Now that he’s ever-so-slightly more comfortable with his _situation,_ it’s not as frightening as before.

If it would help to explain this situation, help him find Riku, then he’ll sit here for as long as it takes.

“Now, has anything changed besides your appearance? Have you noticed any mood swings, attention span issues, different speech patterns, or other strange occurrences?”

“Hm…I have felt a little on edge lately. I kinda blew up on my friends the second day I was here,” he scratches the back of his neck. “But I’m still the same in every other way, apparently. That’s what everyone says.”

“He spoke different the first night. He sounded exactly like Riku when we found him, but then his voice shifted to Sora’s usual quickly.” Kairi jumps in as Sora thinks back.

“Really? Huh, I don’t really remember.”

Kairi scrunches up her face. “You don’t seem to be remembering a lot of things, Sora.”

Ienzo looks serious. “Have you been having memory issues lately?”

Folding his legs under him, he starts tapping his knee in a familiar pattern. Nervous habits never die, he guesses. “I guess. People tell me I did stuff and it _seems_ familiar, but I can’t remember specifics.”

“So, you have gaps in your memory.”

“Not exactly? It’s like…I see myself watching the memories through an itty-bitty television screen full of static. I get the gist and nothing else. And then I forget most of it anyways!”

This is harder to explain than he realized. Everything’s been so topsy-turvy; every movement he makes, every thought he has, feels—disconnected, in a way. Some moments he feels solid and real and whole; other times he’d be drifting away if it wasn’t for gravity keeping him tethered.

And then there’s the hallucinations. Well, _possible_ hallucinations, that’s a heavy word to throw around and might send everyone into panic mode if he utters it. He can’t tell if hearing Riku’s voice in his dreams or feeling his presence in the field, however faint, is just because he’s lonely as hell or if he’s seriously gone crazy.

Either way, he doesn’t want to bring that up in case everyone frets. It’s—too personal, almost. Riku’s voice and presence is just his secret, one he wants to figure out on his own, not with cold tests or examinations. Just him.

“There’s also the passing out, the spacing out, the Keyblade problems…” Kairi ticks off one by one.

“Ah, my Keyblade!”

“Wait, no, _Sora_ —”

Too late. Sora calls out to the Kingdom Key.

For a brief, frightening instant, he thinks it won’t come, that it’ll be blocked off like Braveheart was when he tried to pull for it—but then, with a glimmer, it appears.

It weighs _nothing_ in his hand, like he’s holding a long stack of tissue paper instead of a deadly Heartless-bashing weapon. His Keyblade’s always been lightweight, but never _this_ much. “What the…” he mutters, bringing it close to his face.

He didn’t get a good look at it on the battlefield earlier, but now he sees it clearly in the harsh white light.

Instead of looking shiny and bright, the Keyblade is rusted over, metal tarnished. There are spiderweb cracks in the hull—not breaking yet, but on the verge. Hesitantly, he flips it around in his hand, feeling the cold airiness of it. “What…happened to it?” Sora whispers, staring helplessly at the chipped bit.

“The same thing happened with Braveheart…” Kairi says heavily.

“Hm…I’ve seen this before,” Ienzo says. “Keyblades are tied to people and their hearts. When their wielder is affected, the weapons themselves can also be affected. In something like the X-blade, it was broken due to incompleteness.” He glances between his notes and the Keyblade rapid-fire. “You were shattered, Sora. Your Keyblade reflects that.”

A dull thud echoes in his head like a death knell. “So it’s going to be like this forever?” _He_ did this? It’s his fault?

Broken. Incomplete. Unfixable. Forever.

Is he the same way?

“Likely not,” Ienzo explains, and Sora breathes a sigh of relief. “This is a good indicator that something _is_ wrong, however. You are not complete, especially not your heart.”

“But if his heart isn’t healed, how is he even here right now? He’s acting the same, thinking the same, talking the same, like nothing happened!” Kairi says.

“I’ll admit, I am surprised as well. The way your heart was…it was nearly lost for good. It’s incredible how you are even coherent right now.”

Unfixable. Nearly lost for good. All because of his stupid choices and his stupid mistakes, and now both him and Riku have to pay the price for them.

They should have left him, like he had said—if something can’t be fixed, you throw it away for good, right?

_Don’t say that. You’re never not worth it. Worth everything._

He jumps a little. There’s that voice again! A warm feeling wraps around his chest, soothing his worries.

Sora doesn’t care if this means he’s officially crazy; hearing an encouraging mental Riku voice is exactly what he needs right now. It makes him feel just a smidgen better.

“You appear to be well for now, however, and may make a full recovery,” Ienzo says, mistaking his jump and trying for reassurance. He jots more notes down. “It’s truly fascinating. The fact that your heart's appearance in another body has not altered it dramatically is also unique.”

Sora remembers how the darkness affected Riku and turned him to look like Ansem, or how Xehanort possessed Terra’s body, twisting his features to something that _looked_ like him yet was anything but. “Kind of like…”

“This is similar to Terra’s condition, yet not exactly—it’s almost like another force is holding Riku’s form together, even if your heart _should_ take precedence. You retained your own speech, iris color, and weapon, yet nothing else? And you appear whole despite your incompleteness? Fascinating…maybe if the…” At this point Ienzo seems to just be talking to himself. Sora and Kairi exchange glances as his words get faster and faster, technical jargon being thrown around at the speed of light.

She mouths _are you getting this._ He exaggerates a grimace and sticks his tongue out to make her smile.

Eventually he looks up from his notes, pushing back his fringe slightly. “I would very much like to run a few tests—or more, if you permit them, there are so many variables to examine. Observation to ensure you are well, tests on your heart, an additional battery of questions—though that will all take some time. Is it possible for you to stay in the castle for a while?”

“Well, I’m not really doing anything else…do you really think it will help?”

“I do not want to make promises I cannot keep, but I am confident that this is our best hope to discovering the truth as of right now. As well as the safest place for you to fully recover.”

He thinks it over for a brief moment before nodding. The beds are really comfy here anyways, and it would be nice to see the sunrise in town again while searching for answers.

“Excellent!” Ienzo chirps with a slight grin on his face. “One last question before I begin running these samples. Do you remember anything that happened when you vanished?”

Sora tries, he really does. But like he said to everyone else, it’s still all static, except this time he barely even has a gist. He tells them as much. “Sorry.”

“It will come back in time,” Ienzo assures as he picks up the test tubes. “Right now, it would have been overwhelming to handle. Your mind must have blocked it off to allow you to heal. It’s common after a traumatic experience.”

He thinks back to the wall between him and Braveheart; the strange feelings he gets every so often before it’s cut off abruptly. Did _he_ really make those walls? Or…did something else?

There’s been no hint of darkness around him, and he hasn’t felt completely off but he hasn’t felt _right_ either. Something else is here, though, he knows it. It’s like eyes following him everywhere but inverted inside of his chest and ugh, that’s a gross image—whatever, feelings are hard to explain!

But the presence is there. He can’t tell if it’s a threat or a comfort just yet.

The door bursts open. “Yo! Anyone here?” Lea calls, followed by Cloud, Yuffie, and Xion.

Ienzo sighs at the loudness. “Here,” he calls mildly, and when Lea pokes his head around he has a wide grin on his face.

“You’re finally up! I like naps as much as the next person, but do ya think you can cut it down by about two days?”

“Sora!” Xion cheers, poking his cheeks. “How are you feeling? You have sleep creases all over your face.”

Laughing, he tries to scrub them off. “Fine! I feel great, I _look_ great—ah, not that I’m saying I’m like, super attractive or anything. Or Riku. Wait. _Uh,_ ” he tries to flounder out of the hole he suddenly dug and threw himself face first in as Xion gives him a Look. _“Ignore that I’m totally fine!”_

She smirks wider. Sora adds this agonizing ten seconds to his mental top ten most embarrassing moments box and sets a reminder to burn it later. “How was it out there?” He says to desperately break attention away from his lobster-red face.

Lea props himself on a table. “There wasn’t anything. Maybe five shadows or so, but nothin’ like how you described.”

“And their eyes were…?”

“Yellow,” Cloud says, sounding frustrated. “It was like nothing had happened.”

“Ah, what a drag,” Lea complains. “Here I was, expecting an exciting battle against those creepy weirdos. Haven’t had one of those in a while.”

“I’m more worried about them,” Xion says. “If they were as organized as Sora said, that must mean there’s more. How big was your group again, Sora?”

“Not too large, but definitely, uh, more than usual. They were mostly just really fast.”

“A scouting party?” Kairi suggests.

“For _who?_ I thought nobody controls the Heartless anymore.”

“Maybe it’s the Purple People Eater.” Xion squints at Lea as if to tell if he’s joking or not. “From the song? _One-eyed, one-horned, flying—_ nevermind.”

“And the way they all focused on Sora…it was like they forgot about everything else. They didn’t care at all when we when attacked them. All they cared about was Sora.”

“Maybe it was the Keyblade? That usually attracts them,” Lea suggests.

“But something was different this time,” Sora says. He still can’t explain it! Everything feels _different._ The Heartless, his heart, his Keyblade, his thoughts, the voices—but _why?_ If only he could _figure it out…_

Before they could ponder more, however, Aerith pokes her head in and invites them to the kitchens, which reminds him of the very important problem at hand—he’s _incredibly_ starving.

“Last one there gets no bacon!” Xion shouts while already halfway to the door because she’s a no-good _cheater_.

“Don’t run in the lab!” Ienzo yells as Sora nearly knocks over something expensive looking in his mad dash to the kitchens. No way is he missing out on this!

* * *

Days pass.

No results yet but Ienzo promises _soon_ once he gets some doohickey or another up and running. When Sora had asked about it, he went on a tangent for fifteen minutes that Sora only understood maybe three words of, and barely at that.

So he’ll just leave that can of worms alone. Let the science stuff sort itself out on its own!

Because it’s so _slow,_ though, it gives him a lot of free time. Mostly used for naps. But in his awake hours not spent in a lab or a bed, he likes spending with others when they’re not out bashing Heartless or doing jobs.

This obviously involves countless board games.

“I’ve been helping out in the castle,” Kairi tells him while they play a game of Scrabble on one of the shadowed roofs on a day when his headache is particularly crippling. “I’m trying to find out more about my past, but I’m really enjoying learning about the politics.”

“That’s great!” Sora beams. He gets 8 points for ‘scales.’ “I never got the hang of that stuff. It sounds complicated.”

“It’s not that hard once you understand it. I actually prefer it way more than all the fighting.” She slams him with a devastating ‘queue,” double on the Q, for 24. Sora groans. He’s already like, 60 points behind!

“You’ve always been the smartest bookworm I know,” Sora says. He has a Z that’s been eating up tile space for three rounds but he literally cannot think of any other word besides ‘zebra,’ which he doesn’t have the B for.

Playing this game with a headache was not his best move. He’s terrible at spelling normally, what was he thinking?

“And I want to stay in Radiant Garden for the foreseeable future. I really like it here. I have my own room, patient teachers, interesting study material, a good view...and I finally feel like I’m learning something that matters. That I can actually help with.”

“Kairi, you’re going to do amazing things in the worlds, I know it. I’ve never seen you this happy before! You’ll be the best diplomatic-relations-political science researcher I’ve ever met. In the whole universe maybe!”

She smiles. “Quit exaggerating, dummy.” Her sparking gaze shows how much it means to her, though.

Sora studies the tiles. Zoo, fez, zen… “I’ve been thinking of moving out from the Islands, too.”

“Really? Where would you go?”

“Eh, I don’t really know yet.” Honestly, anywhere else.

She watches him scratch at the pink bandage in his inner elbow, skin slightly bruised from needles. “Because of…”

He shrugs. “Kind of. But, things are different now, not just with me. I don’t think I can just settle back into the island life, you know?”

“Trust me, I get it,” she agrees. “It takes some time to get comfy with the whole ‘controlling your own destiny’ thing.”

He places a word before thinking better of it and swiping it away. “I like my method of not thinking twice about my destiny or whatever else some crazy old bat tries to spew at me and just doing what I think is right. It’s worked out well so far!”

“That’s the spirit!” With a shared grin, Kairi reaches over the board to whack his shoulder, the short ponytail he tied Riku’s hair up in flipping to the other side. “As long as you stay as safe as you can. Now are you going to place a tile or what?”

“I’m working on it!” The Z is going to drive him up a _wall_ if he doesn’t play it. He can’t do another measly ‘path’ again if he wants to win—

_Chutzpah. Lower left._

Pausing, he counts the letters. Gasps at the empty corner with an open C next to an inconspicuous triple word score. If he places that there, plus all his tiles, with the _Z…_

“300!” Sora crows, placing the H with a deafening _click._

“ _What!?”_ Kairi slams her hands down. “How did you…what even…!?”

Sora pops a caramel drop in his mouth with a smirk. Glaring, Kairi points to him. “Do you even know what that word means?”

“Uh…”

“I knew it! You cheater, where’s your phone?” Sora points a little ways to the left, where it lies face down in the exact same position they started the game in.

“I heard it from somewhere,” Sora says as Kairi huffs, knowing she was soundly beat.

“Ugh, _fine_ , you win,” she sweeps the tiles off and glares. “Next round I’ll crush you.”

She doesn’t. Another helpful hint from his last remaining braincell ( _‘jukebox’_ ) and he’s sitting pretty on wins while she rages. Thank _you_ , inner self!

Still…

That’s another weird thing that’s been happening. His conscious has been… _acting up_ , for lack of a better word.

During breakfast, he’ll be reaching for a cereal box before the overwhelming urge to eat bland, tasteless, very healthy oatmeal whacks him over the head. Then he eats the whole container and drinks an entire carton of orange juice like an animal because he’s been so _insanely_ hungry lately.

He blames it on the broad shoulders. If Riku wasn’t so beefy he wouldn’t need to eat this much!

In the store, he walks in, grabs three things, then discovers when the cashier’s ringing up the order there’s four extra items in the bag he has no memory of ever picking up. Fancy extra-strength conditioner wasn’t even anywhere _close_ to the pretzel chips.

(He realizes later that it’s Riku’s favorite conditioner when he smells it in the shower that day.

Sometimes, his consciousness is a real jerk. Sora refuses to admit to having a minor breakdown over it and watches a romantic comedy movie to calm down. He cries over that too.)

At 1 am, he has the sudden urge to pace the castle gardens and sniff the daffodils, even though the lavender is his favorite. He practices his Keyblade strikes (unknown to his overprotective friends) and unconsciously gives each swipe a little extra flair, a new twist added to the steps. On multiple nights, he’s zoned out in his bedroom and snapped back to reality staring into a lake by the bailey.

And now he can cheat at Scrabble because his consciousness is apparently amazing at digging up words in other languages he’s never heard until just now.

It’s like he’s being occasionally hijacked by a well-meaning but strange alien that also sometimes has Riku’s voice. He still can’t feel anything from his side of their link, not anything _major_ at least, but it’s comforting to believe that Riku’s heart is definitely out there somewhere.

Or—and this is a truly crazy thought—maybe he’s _closer than he thinks._

So midway through the week, he calls Aqua.

Kairi’s been fronting for him, keeping those who knew updated and those who didn’t a secret, but maybe it’s time to break his self-imposed quarantine. Slightly.

Sora agonizes over the buttons for a while, fiddling with the phone while he lies in Leon and Cloud’s guest room (dubbed Sora’s room by everyone at this point which is—gah, that's so sweet! He loves hearing it) and so far his thumb has hovered over the ‘call’ button for 20 minutes.

It’s so silly, why all… _this._ There’s not even any real reason for the hesitation. He just _is._

He usually loves talking with people. Why is he so nervous now? This is so unlike him!

But he wants to talk more than he wants to hide under the covers and never come out, so without overthinking it any longer he lets his thumb slip.

_Calling…_

He’s been switching between staying at the house and the castle while Ienzo ran test after test. After the first day, Ansem the Wise and Even had walked in, surprisingly—they had left on a business trip and had only just returned. Somehow Sora had forgotten about them; Ienzo had been the only sciency-person he’s had on speed dial for a while, so the lab always seemed like the blue-haired man’s and not anyone else’s.

When he had told Ienzo that, he blinked, then softened with the most genuine smile Sora’s ever seen hidden behind his fringe.

The trio of them kept grilling him with questions, pouring over their notes and sticking wires out of him while he stared at the ceiling and took cat naps. Apparently, his readings had been “dysrhythmic”—a fancy term for “off the fucking charts.”

They’re pretty hush-hush about it, though. They keep mentioning stress and not wanting to draw “concrete conclusions” yet, which is a total cop out if you ask him.

Still, Sora’s way too tired these days to do much of anything, least of all argue.

Terra’s name keeps getting thrown around. He’s the closest person they know who’s not MIA or a seeker of darkness who’s gone through something similar, so they’re using his data to try and squeeze answers out of his.

But he’s getting impatient; sitting around and doing nothing while Riku’s out there and he’s still like _this_ isn’t going to fix anything. Science takes too long. Who knew!

Obviously this waiting-it-out plan isn’t going to work. Sora prefers barreling in headfirst and instant results, so he’s going recon some answers alone.

So that’s why Sora’s here, listening to the phone rings with his heart in his throat, stupidly nervous for _no reason._

Time to seek his own answers.

On the third ring, she picks up. _“Sora, is that you?”_ Aqua asks.

“Yup, it’s me. Hello!”

 _“Ah! It’s good to see you!”_ she smiles. “ _Kairi told me you’ve been doing okay, but it’s good to see the proof for myself.”_

“Yeah.” He crinkles the list of questions he wrote on scrap paper and swallows. There’s _nothing_ to be nervous about. It’s just Aqua. And Terra. And all his other friends he doesn’t know how to properly talk to ‘as Sora’ anymore. It’s not scary, not at all. “Um…can I ask you a favor?”

_“Of course! Anything.”_

“Is Terra there?”

_“Terra? He should be somewhere upstairs…is everything okay?”_

“Fine, I’m fine,” Sora waves off. “I just…wanted to know if I could speak to him. I…I don’t want to tell _everyone_ just yet but, I really need to ask him some really important questions. I know it’s kind of selfish that I’m still, you know, not talking to anyone else, but, ah—I don’t know…”

 _“No, no, it’s okay!”_ Aqua says. She starts shuffling around on the tiny screen, cleaning up what looks like a pile of books. _“You have to do what’s most comfortable for you. If you want to take your time in telling people, you take the time.”_ Putting the last book away, she starts heading down the hall. _“I will say, however, it would make Ventus’ year.”_

“I know…” Selfish, selfish. He’s so _cruel_ , doing this to his friends.

 _“I’m not pressuring you, though, it’s just something to think about—oh, hold on.”_ The screen suddenly goes dark. Sora taps it a few times but nothing happens. Did the battery die?

Then he hears muffled voices and gets a clue. Aqua must have hid the phone when someone came down the hallway.

His first thought is Ventus. The next is panic. That’s…it’s going to break his heart, knowing Sora had kept this from him willingly, and to see him like _this._ He’s going to blame him. He might blame _himself._

Yes, he’s aware he’s a coward, thanks so much for asking.

Turns out, though, things could always be worse, because that’s not Ventus or Naminé or the Replica Riku he hears, oh no.

 _“…talking to?”_ in Vanitas’ voice echoes tinny through the phone speaker. Sora sucks in a gasp in case his breathing is too recognizable. Oh, no.

Vanitas is…well, Sora doesn’t know him as a friend _yet_ , but considering how casually Aqua talks with him now is indication enough that he’s on the good side now. It’s not easy to gain Aqua’s trust.

Vanitas, however, is the one person who won’t keep this secret, Sora knows. He’d blab the second he learns about it and then probably kick him while he’s down with a grin on his face.

And Ventus will be so, _so_ upset, hearing it from Vanitas. He can’t let that happen!

Sora tells himself that he’s hiding out of self-preservation, _not_ because he’s a coward. Ugh.

Aqua says something too quiet to hear and the rest of the conversation flies by in pieces. He hears ‘ _heard’_ and _‘secret’_ (he swallows anxiously at that—has he been discovered?) and at one point Vanitas raises his voice slightly. But Aqua seems to distract him well enough because Sora soon hears the sound of footsteps stomping off.

The screen is dark for another minute before Aqua comes back into view. _“Sorry about that. I told him it was Kairi. He’s been a little on edge lately.”_

“Thank you,” Sora says honestly.

Aqua nods, like lying for him was no big deal, even though it kind of was. _“Can I ask what you wanted to talk to Terra about? Again, no pressure, I’m just curious.”_

“Well, about… _this_ , really. He has some experience with this, and it’s a similar situation. In a way. I just thought he’d understand. Maybe I could find some answers, if he’s willing to help.”

 _“That’s true…if you had to talk to anyone, he’d definitely be the best choice. I didn’t think of that,”_ Aqua agrees. _“He’d love to help!”_

“Do you think it’s too soon?”

_“Not at all. Honestly, I think he needs someone else to talk to—we can only do so much, some days. He’s probably sick of hearing us.”_

“No way!” Yeah, right. Terra has the same bleeding-heart syndrome Sora was terminally diagnosed with. He’d never get sick of his friends; his heart’s too big for that.

Aqua pauses for a moment in front of a door. _“I’m really glad you called, Sora. Give me a moment, okay? I’m going to get Terra.”_

Sora watches as it goes black again with an itchy feeling scratching under his skin. This time, he can’t hear much of anything. He balls the paper up in his hands and smoothes it back out, turning it soft and creased.

There’s literally nothing to be worried about. _Literally nothing._ So why is he?

_The answers?_

…right, maybe it’s the answers he might get. What if it’s a dead end? What if it’s all for naught? What if the world _explodes_ in five minutes? What if, what if…

Where’s all this anxiety coming from, anyways?

Sora forces himself to take a deep breath. Another. Slowly, now that he recognizes it, he lets the strange nerves stuck to his insides like heavy, gross emotion-saturated peanut butter melt away.

When he does, his mind clears, and he sits a little straighter. That actually _worked_ , wow. He’ll have to remember that for next time. With one last breath out, he nods and hums a little tune under his breath, feeling miles better.

Shuffling. Voices. Tapping. The phone clicks, and the screen lights up.

* * *

Terra wasn’t expecting a lot of out today. Maybe finishing up repairing the plaster cracks in the great room from one too many wild magic bashes, maybe celebrate with the cake he can hear Ventus and co squabbling about downstairs (“A _teaspoon_ of vanilla, not the whole bottle!”).

…on second thought, maybe he’ll just stick to the plaster.

So when Aqua walks in with a sheepish expression like she had just stepped on a crunchy bug on the way here, he immediately knows something is up.

“Hey, just in time,” Terra says, standing on three chairs stacked on top of each other to reach the last section with the plaster glue. It teeters distressingly.

“Terra,” Aqua sighs in that way when he’s doing something insane that actually works.

With a careful movement, he slides down just enough to leap off, casting a quick Aero to send him sailing smoothly to the ground the rest of the way. He smiles widely. “Ventus’ helped me better control some wind spells. Only fell off once!” The tape he used to stick the chairs together unglues, sending the stack toppling over with a loud _CRASH._

They wince.

“The floors,” he mourns. There’s now a perfect scratch marring the perfect mirrored floors.

Aqua shakes her head. “You’re hopeless. Why didn’t you just get the ladder?”

“I couldn’t find it! I looked in storage for two hours. It’s a mess in there, I couldn’t find anything except broken desks and roaches,” Terra defends. “I wanted to finish this more.”

He looks over the great room. Minus the chairs, it’s nearly perfect. Not a burn, crack, hole, or stain anywhere to be found (except the new tile scratch, but that’s a problem for tomorrow Terra). It sparkled like it did their first visit when they were young, when it was new and grand and opulent, holding the memories from then up until their mastery exam and ready to make new ones.

Glancing at his reflection in a blue tile, shined to a clear finish, he thinks he can feel Master Eraqus smiling down at him with pride.

Terra wipes sweat off his forehead and smears plaster all over his face in the process. “What’s up?”

Aqua takes a deep breath. “I have to tell you something.”

Terra nods. Yeah, he’s been expecting this conversation for a while.

She’s been a little offbeat recently. It wasn’t anything _bad_ , as far as he can tell, but she’s definitely keeping a secret. Which is fine, they respect each other’s privacy. They have a right to keep secrets as long as they’re not harmful and besides, he trusts Aqua. She’s not a Master for nothing, after all.

He sees how much she _wants_ to tell, though, an apologetic look in her eyes when he asked once out of worry, a promise in them saying _soon._

And Terra doesn’t pry. That’s not his way. They’ve been through eleven years of _too much_ , and even though she’d frown at him for protecting her it’s what he does with all his family. Most days she barely gets enough sleep at night; he’s not going to add to that stress by pressing for answers.

He likes waiting for people to come to him first. If the situation was reversed, it’s how he would appreciate being treated.

Good thing Terra’s an excellent listener. He picks up two of the chairs and settles in, ready for anything.

“Sora’s back.”

 _Almost_ anything. Immediately, his mouth falls open, eyes widening. “Wha—really?” He stands up. “When? Where? How? Is he—”

Aqua raises and lowers her hands a few times. Terra reigns back his excitement. “Something’s wrong.”

“He just got back a little while ago. He’s…well, he’s okay, but…it’ll be easier if he explains. I just wanted to apologize for hiding it from you. I couldn’t betray his trust.” She pulls out her phone and whispers the rest to him. “He really wanted to ask you some questions. Please try not to overwhelm him, okay? And yes, it _is_ Sora. Not…” Aqua trails off. She holds out the phone wordlessly.

“Okay…?” There’s a strange, tense energy to the room that sets him on edge. What could be so bad?

It’s answered as soon as he pulls up the screen.

_“…Hi, Terra.”_

That’s…Sora’s voice. Except. Everything else is anything _but._

“Sora?” Terra whispers. Riku— _Sora—_ looks away. “Oh…”

He’s pale, far paler than usual. His bright blue eyes glitter slightly before it’s blinked away. An ache splits his chest open. There is no trace of Riku left anywhere other than appearance.

 _“I need your help,”_ Sora says. _“I-I need to know about what happened to you. With…Xehanort.”_

Terra’s a good listener. He’s strong. He digs his heels in and doesn’t let go. He doesn’t let himself get knocked down, he doesn’t give up, he doesn’t stop. He’s a protector.

So no matter how much he wants to slump over and go blank, to turn away and let himself grieve, now is not the time. A friend needs his help.

_Riku…my successor…I’m so sorry for what has happened to you._

Terra settles in to listen. “However I can help.”

 _“Okay…”_ for a moment, Sora looks _pained,_ before it’s quickly scrubbed away. _“Okay.”_ There’s a glimpse of paper as he holds it up to his face. _“Um, first question. What happened while you were, um, possessed?”_

* * *

Sora asks a question. Terra answers. Sora jiggles his knee. They discuss.

“What was it like?”

_“We fought, the entire time. I refused to let myself give in. I vowed to never stop fighting.”_

Over a decade straight, Terra was at war. And he never gave up, not once. “So you heard him in your head? Your heart? Nonstop?”

 _“Day and night,”_ Terra’s voice never wavers but there’s a heaviness to his words belying his true feelings. _“Or, I assumed as much. There was no time there; we could have fought for decades and it might feel like minutes. Or days…or years.”_

“…What did it feel like?”

_“Pressure. Overflowing. Numbness, when I fell. Pain when I had the upper hand.”_

“Only in those moments?”

Terra puts a hand to his chin. _“I think it was because I could only truly feel things when I had full control. When I wasn’t, I was just…floaty, and cold, and empty and afraid. That was far worse than any pain I could endure.”_

Numbness. Sora’s memories are still shaky, but he _does_ recall a distinct falling, tingles in his fingertips and a clouding in his mind. But it didn’t feel lonely and cold how Terra described it, and he wasn’t afraid. It felt warm, like a trust fall into capable arms.

“And everything was foggy too, right?”

 _“Not fog. More like being imprisoned in a block of ice.”_ Terra’s eyes are sharp as ever. _“It’s been foggy for you?”_

Hah. He’s completely transparent. “Yeah…it’s—I’ve been having these strange dreams, lately. It’s always foggy in there and I can’t feel anything. It’s weird…”

He’s had the same dream every night since he first had it; besides the one dreamless night, every nap had led him into the dimly-lit cobblestone streets, calling out to Riku as waves of fog roll through the endless dark.

No one has called back to him yet, but sometimes the single streetlamp would flicker when his voice cracked on a shout. And then he would wake up.

Now Terra looks concerned. _“Sora, if someone is trying to hurt you…”_

“I don’t think it’s dangerous. It doesn’t feel bad? Ugh, I can’t explain it right. It’s—don’t call me crazy but…I keep hearing voices in my head. And getting feelings that aren’t mine.”

_“What kind of voices?”_

Sora looks up. He’s already told Terra what happened in bits and pieces so he knows what’s going on. There’s no further hesitation when he says it: “I think it’s Riku.”

Pressing a hand to his chest, he stares at where Riku’s fingers wrinkle in the shirt. “It’s hard to tell because it’s all muddled, but I heard him in my dream, and my consciousness sometimes sounds like him, and I keep craving raw oysters, I _hate_ oysters, and—and _chutzpah_ , you know—"

Terra looks like he’s having trouble processing all the bombshells being thrown at him. _“Okay, alright, so you think Riku’s not…actually gone? And his heart is still with you?”_

“Yes!” Sora cheers. “Is that a thing? Can that be a thing?” _Please_ let that be a thing.

 _“Wait, just a minute, Sora.”_ Terra presses his hands for peace. _“You say you don’t even know if it_ is _him.”_

“It is. I know it is.” Sora tries to find that pull of longing again, but it’s gone back to wherever possibly-Riku’s hiding. _Where are you?_

 _“Still. You have to be careful. I mean, you only just came back, we don’t know where your heart’s been. It might be something dark that latched on to you and is vying for control.”_ Terra frowns. _“I want to believe it’s Riku just as much as you, Sora, but in my experience, and with what you described, I just don’t see that as being possible.”_

“I think I can tell when something's fishy with me at this point. I mean, Ventus was with me for as long as I can remember. Even if I didn’t know it was him then, I know it now.” God, he wants so badly for this to be the same situation as Ventus. “Explain my appearance! When you were under control, you looked so different…so why am I still Riku?”

 _“A heart’s influence is an incredibly strong force,”_ Terra explains. _“Xehanort took complete control of me, and my appearance changed to match it.”_ The hand returns to his chin. _“The fact that yours hasn’t means something is…yeah, that’s definitely unique.”_

“Ienzo said that too!” Excellent, more validation! “Ansem the Wise also said I’m super weird because I have so many hearts connected to mine…which _means_ it’s totally possible that I have Riku’s heart stashed somewhere in my inner hotel, and—oh my god, wait, if that's true then I think I know where! That’s the only constant place, it’s the only way, and— _I kept my promise, Terra.”_

There’s a clatter from the other side of the line as Terra drops the phone. “ _What!?”_

 _“To protect the things that matter.”_ Suddenly, Sora clears his throat, hacking at the dryness. “—ugh, sorry, don’t know why my throat’s so dry—anyways, chutzpah and the numbness is a dead giveaway, definitely the best place to look—thanks, Terra! Gotta try something I’ll tell everyone soon talk to you later bye!”

_“Wait hold on, hold on—”_

The line clicks off as Sora bounds away, the last thing visible before the screen turns black is a surprised Terra, dazed, hand frozen mid-air and stuck in a gasp.

* * *

Once again, he wakes in a field of fog.

It took him _forever_ to fall asleep. He’s wired now that he has an actual plan. He’d run to the den in the middle of the day to lie on the couch, where the room is warm, comfortable, and perfect for excellent naps with empty dreams.

 _This time,_ though, things will be different. He’s too determined for it not to succeed.

“Riku!” Sora yells as soon as his sneakers click on the stone. As usual, no one answers.

That’s fine. Sora’ll drag him out by the ears if it’s the last thing he does, and it’s happening _today._

Staring into the inky black, he takes a deep breath. Then a step forward. And another. The fog is so thick that ten steps in, the lamplight is already hard to see.

Admittedly, he’s terrified. Every time he dared venture beyond the circle of light, he always had to dash back as the thick feeling of fear and unknown crawls up his throat.

No different now, as it chokes him in a way that usually sends him running, so harsh every breath is like sucking air through a tiny straw. The lamp flickers warningly in the distance.

_Not safe. Not safe. Go back._

The voice is weak, thready. Sora tightens his lips. “Not this time,” he whispers, all he can manage, and lifts his weighted legs to turn and continue walking away from the dying light.

There’s no sound except for his shoes on the cobbles. He can’t feel anything—not physically, at least, but the ever-present dread, the pressure, is real and very much crushing him.

_Go back!_

Every step is so _heavy._ It’s like trying to push through a brick wall while sloshing around ankle deep in glue. Why are there so many walls around him these days? He’s sick and tired of them holding him back, holding him away from others.

His lungs burn, throat so dry it barely clicks when he swallows, but he keeps going.

_Please!_

No. Nothing is going to hold him back any longer. He’s _sick of it!_ No matter the pressure, how much his lids struggle to stay awake, the blackspots in his vision, it doesn’t matter, _the only thing that matters is—_

And then, it eases. And slows. And calms.

Until eventually, his boots crunch and sink unceremoniously in squishy earth. When he bends to poke the ground, it’s to the sensation of sand running through his fingers.

He blows out a breath so hard it makes his ears pop. On top of that, there’s—waves! The sound of waves! He…he made it to a beach!

Shoes slipping in the sand, he dashes, can’t be bothered to deal with something as stupid as pain and pressure when he’s close, close to _something_.

He doesn’t know what it is exactly, but he has an idea.

It sounds like the beach on the islands, or the one in the dark margin, but this time he has to rely on mostly just sound to navigate his way to the shore, waves growing louder and louder the closer he gets.

In fact, it almost sounds like—beats, in a way? It’s rhythmic but not slow like gentle shoreline crashes; it’s fast and quick and incredibly _loud_. It’s fighting. It’s writhing.

But what is it?

_Here careful please go back no don’t leave go back go back dangerous dangerous dangerous—_

Sora _gasps._ Riku’s voice _echoes,_ louder than he’s ever heard it, filled with murmurs. The thread in his heart—silent for so long, quiet and unmoving even if it pulsed once every so often—yanks, slackens, yanks again, falls quiet, and hums.

He’s here, no doubt. Now all he has to do is find him.

But the bond has slackened more, as if Riku’s hesitant on pulling. The waves continue raging. “You have to help me, Riku!” Sora yells with what little air is left in his crushed lungs. “Lead me!”

_Hurt you I can’t this hurts you please go don’t, don’t—_

“I—won’t—leave!” He screams, each word spoken in between steps.

_PLEASE!_

“NO!” And he pulls as hard as he can on his own line.

Riku’s iron will stumbles for a brief moment. It’s all the time Sora needs to track down a vague location.

“Stubborn _idiot!”_ Sora growls to prove a point and dashes the rest of the way to the water.

The second his foot lands in it, it’s different. Very, _very_ different. Because this is freezing cold in a place where everything feels like nothing but this— _feels_. It laps at his ankles, to his shins, to his waist as he struggles through it, enveloping him, threatening to drag him under with sharp icicles.

A wave hits him across the face and it stings. It nearly knocks him off balance. “I can’t—I can’t see anything!” He can’t remember which way was back. Oh, no. Even if he wanted to swim it back to shore he couldn’t—the waves are too strong, too disorienting, oh god is he really going to die in this dream—

_—Sora, here, over here, I’m stuck I’m trapped I can’t, I need you, I can see you—_

He flails, treading water, the sea water rotted and sickly-sweet as he accidentally gulps a mouthful when a wave swarms him.

 _I’m…I’m all broken, I can’t_ swim, _you need to reach—under—_

He…he _can’t_. If he goes under now, he won’t be able to get back up, the waves are too strong, too _overwhelming—_

_Trust me!_

…but he can always trust Riku.

Sora dives.

The sound abruptly cuts off. The waves calm. Enfolded by darkness, with only one breath between the surface and bottom, cold and bone-chilling and he’s panicking, he’s struggling, a precious bubble of air escaping—he has to do this, he has to be stronger, why is he _panicking_ —

_Calm down. Calm down. Follow me, follow this—you’ll be okay._

And…he does. Like magic, he just—slows, stops thrashing, listens to the reassurances (loud, close, clear, _bright)_ and knows to believe them.

The thread pulls. Wherever it leads him, Sora will follow.

Swimming is fighting. His muscles _burn,_ so much effort already exerted before, that fighting against the float is nearly impossible.

But the encouragements never stop. The reassurances slowly starting to ebb and flow from his heart never stops pulsating. _You’re doing great. Almost there, almost there. I believe in you. I trust you._

He thinks things like love, like smiles, like spars and laughter and cheers and green and thinks them as _hard as he can_. It’s grounding. It’s safe. The warmth flares.

And then he sees it.

Trapped in the inky, empty black, so far off his eyes barely catch it but— _there._ A light. A red glow at the center and pink diffused in the water. Crystal cracked and barely there and it’s the most beautiful thing Sora’s ever seen.

Lungs aching, throat burning, pressure-filled and ready to collapse—he pushes through it all and forces himself to swim strongly, fighting against a riptide.

The calls grow louder. _I see you! You’re—you’re so radiant…hold on, I know you can make it, I trust you._

The water isn’t silent; it’s _loud,_ not just in his head but twisting all around, distorted and strange but it’s their song. It’s _their song._

With one last push, his hands gasp the light. It’s…small. Small in a way Riku’s never been. It fits just the curve of his hand and glows so faintly the cracks webbed in it glow like charcoal embers.

But it’s warm. It’s beating. It’s _singing._

 _You…you found me._ Riku sounds shell-shocked.

 _Of course I did, stupid,_ Sora thinks. _C’mon. I’m getting us out of here!_

With his last breath, he tugs as hard as he can, feeling something give under wherever Riku’s heart piece was trapped as his last air bubble floats to the surface.

Everything…slows.

Warmth. Pressed to his chest, he wraps around the form, the water returning to inky black as the glow is hidden by his body.

The water pulls him up as he stops fighting. Closes his eyes.

And—another pull, too, hands, a strong grip, but…it’s all so heavy. After cold, after weakness, after pressure and dizziness and headaches, why not just…let go now? He’s safe. They’re both safe.

Because—

 _I’ve got you_.

Always.

The surface tension breaks, the sky opens up, and Sora rests into the warmth of the glow as the stars light their way back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I swear Riku’s for real in the next chapter there’s just so many characters in KH and I love them all so much I simply MUST give them precious screen time.


	6. Again in Reality

_“Hurt? I do not hurt!” it chitters. “I save.”_

_He snorts. Sure, like he’s just going to believe that. It must sense his doubt because it continues, hissing. “You are the one doing the hurting! I do not trade with those who do hurt.” Then it turns its huge head away petulantly, because this is his life now._

_With a sigh, he reluctantly lets the Keyblade dissipate, but keeps the thread on a tight leash—if something goes wrong, he can call it back before the creature has a chance to swipe. “Look, all I want is my friend back. What do_ _you want with him?”_

_It peeks an eye up. “To save. I fix stars.” Un-slithering quickly, it slides in close. “You, too. I can fix! You need to be fixed!”_

_He swats the fin probing at him and stands his ground. “No, I really don’t. What I need is that heart.”_

_“Hm…” it wriggles. “You do not seem to hold ill-will towards it, yet you are dangerous. So interesting…” It clacks its teeth again. “Let us trade! Talking! You talk, I talk.”_

_“And you let him go.” The way it talks in circles is really getting on his nerves._

_A shimmer of scales. “I will be the judge of that.”_

_He supposes that’s the best he can get right now. Angering it will only cause it to get moody, which is unpredictable. “Fine. First: who are you?”_

_“I have been called many names. None of them matter. I am a mother now.”_

_“A…mother?” O…kay? This is getting weird…_

_“Yes! I used to travel the sky seas aim-less, purpose-less, direction-less. My calling then sang to me from a dying star, and I found myself here. Where I save hearts.” Its massive eyes study him. “Now you! The same! Who?”_

_“…my name is—”_

_“Not name. Names are nothing,” it says. “Who are you here?” It points to his chest again with sharp claws._

_“I…” Who_ is _he, really? This question doesn’t make any sense. “I’m a warrior from the Realm of Light. I protect others.”_

_It yawns. “Boring! You do not tell all truths. Who do you see yourself as?”_

_It takes him a moment to think about that. Who he is… “That_ is _who I am.” He settles on because it’s_ true. _Whatever this thing wants to hear, he doesn’t know and doesn’t have the time for it._

_“Your heart says other-wise.”_

_“My turn,” he cuts in before the conversation can run in circles again. “How do you ‘save hearts’?”_

_“I keep them far from harm. I find them lost between realms and cherish them. I give them the love they could never find, heal the broken cracks in their shell, send them good dreams and keep them burning bright.” It turns to look at the glowing heart it’s wrapped around. “This heart is a very bad case I fix. But it did not fix right!”_

_“Why do you keep saying that? What did you do to him!?”_

_Impassively, it glares at his outburst. “No yelling._ I _did nothing. It was broken into many tiny pieces; I put them back together until it shone. That is good enough for most stars. Yet this heart is restless! It does not settle! It is missing a piece I cannot find.”_

_“I don’t underst—”_

_“My turn!” it chirps. “Funny warrior, who are you to this star?”_

_This one’s easy. “That heart is everything to me.”_

_“Everything?”_

_“He’s…” he stares at the glow, pulsing faintly in the darkness, listens to the string on his heart pull, remembers beaches and endings and beginnings and_ we’ll go together. _He locks eyes with the creature. “My most precious person.”_

_A moment of quiet before the creature clicks its teeth again. “Hm…I can hear how it calls for you. You say the truth. This must be why it ran!”_

_“Ran?”_

_“Yes, yes. This star has been quiet for so long. Yet suddenly while I was tending my other callings, it dashed off! So fast, so quick! I chased, and now we are here.” It closes all its eyes. “Ah, the music is so pretty. Is this what hearts truly are?”_

_“He ran to me…” he murmurs to himself. The heart glows as if in response, a resounding_ yes!

I miss you, _he calls._ I promised I’d find you again.

 _Abruptly, the heart starts moving, trying to wriggle out of the caging grasp of the creature. “Ah! See, see!” It leans in close to the heart and his hand tightens into a fist. He doesn’t want that thing anywhere near it any longer. A heart is not a_ thing _to keep, how it keeps treating him._

 _It’s a person. And if that person should be with anyone it should be_ him. _“Let him go. He doesn’t want to be here!”_

_“Noooo!” it wails. The coils tighten. “You don’t under—stand, ah, no violence!” it yelps as he summons his blade back._

_“You’re not listening to_ _me, you’re not listening to his heart, so why should I listen to you?”_

_The heart stops wiggling, energy expended. The glow dims for a second, a sad tone playing through the song that makes him grit his teeth as he yearns for him._

_“Listen! Please!” It begs._

_The only reason he pauses is because of the still-looming threat. “What!?”_

_“This heart…cannot return,” it says. “I will show you.”_

_And then, it lets the heart_ _go. Just like that._

* * *

All at once, the black clears, a light switch flickering on in his head to send him careening awake in less than half a second.

“Sora!”

He jackknifes up, breathing heavy, flitting his eyes around for a hint of spiky brown or an accent of red clothes, but immediately falls back with a groan because _everything hurts._

His muscles ache in a familiar, over-tired way, twitching uncomfortably. Worse, though, is that he still can’t see Sora—he was just here, wasn’t he? There was water, and a—a snake? Lights…

No, this is—a living room. Not an ocean or a rocky path. He doesn’t know why he’s so surprised by that; if he had fallen asleep, he’d sleep on a couch, not in the middle of the sea.

The problem is he can’t remember falling asleep. Or getting here.

There’s a gasp off to his left, and his blurred eyes focus enough to catch a glimpse of a black-haired girl— _Xion,_ he remembers, as his fogged memory catches up—with a hand partially outstretched to him. “Sora? Are you okay?” she says worriedly.

“…Xion…how’d I…do you know where he is?” he mumbles, voice deep. Everything is foggy—names, places, dates. All that’s constant right now is _Sora, Sora, Sora_. He was just here, he knows it. And he’s so very important to him…whoever _himself_ is. The name just escapes his reach.

“Where he—oh. Oh my gods,” she stammers. “…Riku!?”

Riku…

_Riku!_

That was it! He nods slowly to avoid the dizzying sensation of his brain trying to slide out of his ears. “Yeah. Yes. I think…no, I remember. I’m…ugh.” A thick feeling crawls up his throat.

“You look _awful._ Oh jeez, are you going to be sick? You were choking in your sleep—I’m going to help you up, okay?” He doesn’t have the strength to even speak, all his power reserved for trying to _keep it down_ and prevent the agony from splitting his skull open.

It’s worse when he’s upright, but at least it knocks some of the fog out of his head. This only ushers in desperate questions about Sora—why did Xion ask him if Sora was okay? Where is he? Why doesn’t he know that?

Why is she so surprised to see him?

Movement is awkward and stilted—Riku’s too weak to help much, and their height different is a slight hinderance, but she’s strong enough to drag him as he limps along. “But…where’s…” he manages to croak out as they reach the kitchen, where he proceeds to heave over the sink. “Ugh…”

Xion pulls his hair away from his head. Strangely, this feels—familiar, even though he’s never been prone to getting sick. No one’s ever held his hair back, not even his mom, because him getting sick almost never happened.

He wants to keep asking for Sora but all he can do is focus on breathing once he’s done feeling like the world is going to spin out from under him. In. One, two, three. Out. Repeat. In…

What’s _happening_ to him? Why can’t he remember anything?

Unable to speak, he instead reaches for their bond, to pull at the tethers connecting them—and there it is, taunt and real as ever, like it never left. But…why would it have ever left? Why would he think it did?

When he pulls on it once, a panicked jolt, there’s no response. At least, not the normal response. That’s when another odd thing happens.

Usually, when he pulls at the bond, it’s like pulling on a tin can telephone line—he can feel and hear Sora slightly, but it’s usually only in short, muted bursts unless he pulls very hard and very desperately. Now, though, the end of this line feels like it’s coming from right next to him. Closer, even.

Right in his own heart.

A sleepy emotion bounces back from the pull, tired but solid. That’s…familiar. That’s the emotion Sora bounces back when he’s asleep, or exhausted after a tough battle, or when his migraine medicine knocks him out for twelve hours straight. And it’s _so close_ to him, like it’s his own heart feeling it.

But he knows it’s not. He knows Sora’s heart better than he knows his own.

It’s definitely his, no doubt.

A wave of relief washes over him. Sora’s fine. Or, at least his heart’s fine, which is the most important part. He’ll worry about the _how_ later.

“Um, are you feeling any better?” Xion asks once his breathing starts to slow. Riku glances up from his slump in the sink and manages to stand up on his own power with minimal stumbling.

“Yeah. Thank you, Xion.”

“Okay good because I’m _freaking out_ ,” she says in a rush. “Are you really Riku?”

For some reason that question feels hard to answer. “Um…yes. I think. No, I know. Yes.” He glances around the unrecognizable kitchen, at the awkwardly painted walls and the pans on the stovetop. “I don’t remember how I got here…”

“That’s…fine, I guess—whoa!” Xion catches him as he stumbles again, muscles still uncontrollable and aching. “Um, uh, let’s go back to the living room, c’mon…”

Carefully, Xion sits him back on the couch, then runs off back to the kitchen with a, “just a minute!” She seems jumpy—what is she so nervous about?

He takes the time to run a quick evaluation of himself. No visible wounds or new scars, and no pain besides his muscles and chest. When he inspects the area, there’s no visible injury. _That’s weird…_

Although his mind is all over the place right now, it doesn’t seem permanent; with each deep, steady breath, it does wonders for his thinking processes.

A glass of water is shoved under his nose, breaking him out of his daze. “You should drink this,” Xion insists.

“Thank you, again.” He downs the whole glass.

Xion bounces on the balls of her feet, clearly wanting to ask questions. Again with the nervousness around him. Is something on his face? He swallows. “Where is, uh, everyone?”

“Um…out. They went to run some errands but I forgot my munny, and when I came back you were having a bad dream…or, not you? Um,” Xion fidgets. “Do you remember _anything?”_

“I remember the Realm of Darkness. I remember fighting the Heartless waves. After that…” Whatever dream he had, it was well and truly gone now. It’s all blank from that point forward.

“That’s it? Nothing else?”

Something else is wrong here. “…no. But I think we won, right? I got him back.” Quickly she jerks her head back to face him.

“How do you know that?”

“I can feel him.” Riku presses a hand to his burning chest, the weight of the slumbering heart heavy but not cumbersome, because Sora has never been a burden. “His heart’s sleeping. I don’t know how he got here, but he’s safe with me.”

“Okay, so you’re suddenly back, and don’t remember anything, but Sora’s still there. That’s good! That’s really good,” she says excitedly. “And he’s okay? Is anything wrong? Can you tell? Or with you. Are you okay? Maybe I should call Lea or Ienzo, I really don’t know what to do in this situation…”

“Xion?” Riku asks softly as she starts wringing her hands.

“You were Sora and now you’re _not_ and I don’t understand how you’re even here but—I’m pretty sure it’s you. Your eyes changed.” She pulls out her phone and starts tapping out a message. “You can see right through them and, I don’t know—this is so weird. I think I need an adult for this.”

Wait, what? “What do you mean, ‘I was Sora’?”

“That’s all there is. You were _only_ Sora not even six hours ago! We thought you were—gone, there was no trace of you anywhere except in looks. And now you’re _here?”_ The key clicks type faster, her glancing up every few seconds to give him puzzled, slightly suspicious looks. “That can’t just happen, right? I don’t get it.”

Sora…was him. Riku blinks. How did _that_ happen? His body isn’t like Sora’s, he can’t keep hearts in his own like the brunet does. But somehow, he managed to. And Sora’s—

_—“This heart…cannot return”—_

A lightning bolt of pain pierces through his skull, the fog creeping coldly back. Xion notices and promptly starts freaking out more.

“Oh no no no, what’s wrong, do you need more water, maybe an ice cream, or a towel—”

“I’m fine,” Riku says with gritted teeth. “It’s okay. Just…headache.”

“Oh! There’s medicine for that! Wait here, don’t move, okay?” Then she scurries off, phone clutched in her hand.

Riku settles in and listens to the clock tick on the wall absently until he feels good enough to re-open his eyes.

The first thing he does, as usual, is to call to Sora. _Sora…can you hear me?_

…

No, he’s too deep asleep. Sora always liked his naps.

There’s a weak murmur which isn’t really the response he was hoping for. It’s better than nothing though, and at the very least lets him know Sora will be okay. If anything, Riku could pull him out once he gets his strength back. That’s his job as a Dream Eater.

So that just leaves the problem of him. Clearly, he’s missing a lot of time; something happened between the Realm of Darkness and now that he can’t remember, and it’s huge.

If only thinking wasn’t so _hard_ , maybe he could piece it together. As of now he’s barely aware of _himself._ Is he…Riku? It feels so odd to think that he could be anyone else, but something is missing in him, he can feel it. Maybe that affected who is he as a person.

Maybe he’s been infected by another sinister force like Ansem.

The thought makes him want to heave again.

The next thing he does, then, is the only thing he can think of to prove himself as true. He reaches inside his heart, calling—

Braveheart slides into his hand as easily as ever with a dark flash.

But it’s…oh, it’s all wrong.

The holes are cut out. The blade is cracked. It’s chipped and shattered and—and half of it is straight-up _missing._ It burns in his grasp, skin feeling like it’s fusing to the heated metal at barely a touch.

There’s a heaviness in his limbs he can’t chalk up to residual weakness. His hands shake. The heat barely touches him amidst the anguish that starts it’s creep up his tight throat.

Something really bad happened to him. He missed _so much._

But…at least it’s still him. He’s Riku. Braveheart still comes when he calls; he’s still worthy enough to carry the blade.

That’s good.

Xion walks back in to see him still white knuckling the blade. “Oh,” she whispers. “Wow. That’s…that’s really bad. They said it was damaged but—Riku?”

Snapping out of his blank stare, he drops the Keyblade with a jolt, watching it disappear in static. “Ah.” He shakes his hand off. “Sorry. What was that?”

“Um. Nevermind. Take these.” Two pills and another glass of water are slid into his grasp. “I called for help. They should be here soon.”

“Okay.” He feels pretty agreeable about everything right now. More people means more people who might know what’s going on so they can help him and Sora both.

Mostly Sora. This bout of forgetfulness is ruining everything. If he can just remember—

Footsteps resound outside. Riku sits up straight and cools his expression as Xion runs to get the door.

It can wait till later, he supposes. Others might be able to help more.

When he glances down to check the burns on his hand, starting to itch and pulse from the pain, there’s nothing there but smooth, unblemished skin.

* * *

Despite suddenly coming back from the dead (???), Riku vehemently refused to go to the lab. And they were all preparing to argue the point—Kairi’s brows were drawn so low that she looked ready to whack him over the head and drag him there if it was the last thing she did—but there was a shadow in his green eyes that gave them pause.

Everyone keeps telling her that she’s perceptive (scarily good, according to Lea). Seeing that shadow, seeing just slightly _beyond_ it…

She just—understands. Not the specifics, but the anxiety, most definitely. Xion knows what it’s like to feel trapped in your own skin, especially in blank rooms and white walls.

He needs time to settle.

Besides, Aerith specializes in healing magic, right? So if anything went wrong, which _nothing will_ , help is close by!

That’s how they end up in the gardens, watching Riku tilt his face up to the midday sun as he slouches on a bench, entirely relaxed.

The three of them stand a little way off to side; far enough for some privacy but close enough to make sure he doesn’t pass out in the thorny rose bushes. Aerith stands slightly closer as a ‘just in case in-case,’ pruning the flowers and checking the leaves.

“So Riku was never gone? He was hiding all this time?” Kairi says as Xion repeats what happened.

“Maybe. Or, maybe his heart just came back? But we’d have noticed that, probably…”

Kairi frowns. “You can tell something’s off.”

“At first I wasn’t even sure it _was_ Riku.” She peels a blade of grass into two halves. “His heart was so quiet, and I can’t sense it like Sora. But then I saw his Keyblade and, well, that’s difficult to fake.”

“He didn’t say anything else? Besides what you told me?”

“Not really. He kept mumbling during his dream, but I couldn’t make a lot out. It was just random words.” Nightmare would be more like it. Whenever he ‘talked,’ it was a low growl with more fury packed in it than she’s ever heard in the normally composed man’s tone.

But once, as she was reaching out to shake him awake, his voice softened—an adoring lilt to it that made her pause. This was the most dramatic range of emotion she’s ever seen the silver-haired man have, and she’s seen him at his absolute rock-bottom during her stay at the Organization.

The pieces connected when she heard the only coherent word mumbled soon after, a breathy, fond _Sora._

Everyone tells her she’s perceptive, and it’s true, because when she hears that she _hears_ it. Empathy was nothing new to her, but…it really _hit_ her in that moment.

She paused for so long until the mumbles turned to thrashing, which finally broke her out of the moment to remind herself that oh, this is getting bad, better hurry and wake him up—!

“Then there’s Sora,” Kairi muses. “I wonder what made him go silent all of a sudden?”

Riku’s return was sudden, as was Sora’s abrupt sleep. Hopefully _this_ one will be shorter than his last one though! “If Riku’s telling the truth, then he’s still there snoozing.” Faintly, she can still sense Sora’s heart, so she’s not really too worried herself.

“Riku wouldn’t lie. He knows Sora better than any of us, including me. If he says his heart is with him, then I believe him.”

Xion glances over to her. “I thought you and Sora were…” she doesn’t know how to say it. Every word she tries sounds awkward.

“Oh…no, not like that, not anymore.” Plucking a red petal, she crumbles it slightly at the edges to paint her fingertips vibrant. “We _are_ something, don’t get me wrong. I’ll always be a light in his life as he is to mine, but those two are really something else. Don’t worry, it doesn’t bother me.” Her smile is small and Xion feels the honesty in it reflected back to her—except…

“But it used to,” Xion blurts out, then immediately claps a hand over her mouth.

Why did she—that was the most insensitive thing she’s ever said, oh no, Kairi’s gonna be mad at her and ughhhh why did she have to _ask something so nosy!?_

Kairi’s smile turns slightly bittersweet. “Yeah. It did. Sora and Riku revolved around each other long before I washed up on the shores, and I was kinda jealous of how close they were…even though I know they didn’t mean it like that, some days I felt like they were hanging out with me out of pity.

“But now I’m grateful for how close they were. _We_ are. We’re better friends now than ever before. My younger self was sort of a blockhead if she couldn’t see how much they cared about me,” she laughs.

“That’s not true! Ah…well, I know I thought similar things when I was in the Organization. I had some pretty ridiculous thoughts during my year.”

She props her elbows on her crisscrossed legs. “Yeah?”

“Yeah…like, being anxious about my place in the world, if I have purpose, or if I’m even real, or that everyone doesn’t like me or I’m not good enough or…yeah.”

“I get you. That’s not dumb, though. Those are normal, very valid fears.”

“Then yours aren’t dumb either, okay?” Xion smiles and holds out hand. “Here’s to dumb thoughts and crazy fears?”

“To growing stronger and spitting in the face of them, huzzah!” Kairi heartedly claps their hands in a loud-and-proud high-five. “We reserve the right to be dumb whenever we please.”

“Not as bad as Roxas or Lea, though—I wish you could of seen all the idiotic things they used to do,” Xion sighs. Being stuck in boring, repetitive missions left them time to think of how to waste that time, and those two were kings at that.

Though Xion wasn’t much better by the end. They’re bad influences and she loves them to death for it.

“Things are good now. Really good.”

“It would only be better if…” Kairi turns her head around, peeking behind a leaf in her way. “Riku, are you _sure_ you don’t remember—aaand he’s asleep again,” she says with a resigned sigh.

His head is tipped back uncomfortably on the bench, face titled to the tall lavender plants wrapped all around the bench. Xion would be worried about it, but even from here she can tell his breathing is even and relaxed.

Aerith taps his shoulder gently.

“Hm…?” he mumbles, eyes cracking open to squint pensively at the lavender tickling his nose. “Aw jeez, again? Why do I keep waking up in weird places…”

Xion blinks, shakes her head, and blinks again. Uh. That almost sounded like—

“You _just_ fell asleep, you lazy…oh, are you serious right now,” Kairi says flatly when the reality hits her.

Blue iris’ take in the expressions on their faces with sleepy confusion, mistaking them. “Yeah, I wake up everywhere _but_ where I fell asleep, isn’t that weird? One time I got lost in a cave over in the valley, still don’t know how I managed that—"

“Are you still, um, Riku, or…” Aerith hesitantly asks.

Sora (because that’s Sora, no doubt—this situation is giving her whiplash, they’re changing so fast) looks even more confused before all of a sudden he stands up so quickly Xion can almost see the _ping_ of realization hit him. “Riku! He was—I had this dream, right, and I heard his voice there before but I never could dive any deeper until now and he was _there_ , the ocean was glowing and had riptides and I think I almost drowned? Anyways I think I know where he is, Kairi!”

“I think we know, too,” Xion says. She’s always liked puzzles, like those sudoku’s and crossword searches in the puzzle book Lea gave her for Christmas, but this one has to be the most out-there one she’s ever had to piece together, even if it’s not that difficult.

Just like crosswords, she has to look in between the lines to solve it. What the letters spell back to her, though, is really not what she was expecting.

“Really? Where!?”

“Um…” How to explain this…

Sora pauses and presses a hand to his chest. “Oh…”

“What’s wrong? Are you in pain?”

“He’s here…” Sora mumbles, and his grin outshines the bright yellow daffodils curling at his ankles. “He’s been here this whole time!”

Then Sora laughs and they can’t help but be swept along in it. These two. These two! It’s so crazy and wonderfully crazy. Against all odds, all their beliefs, they’re both _okay!_

The laughter cuts off when Sora tilts his head with a wince. “Ugh, still nothing against these headaches, though.”

“Let’s get out of here, then. We’ll figure it out,” Kairi says.

“A few more minutes.” Sora closes his eyes against the suns glare, basking. “It’s so warm here…” His hand hasn’t left his chest.

Xion sits on the bench beside him. The air is breezy and cool, and the sweet smell wafting from the herb garden is lovely.

Things aren’t perfect, but they’re definitely looking up.

* * *

The general consensus at the Radiant Garden laboratory was ‘inconclusive,’ a term which he’s heard a lot over his stay here but never with such a feeling of ‘???’ hanging in the air.

Everyone had theories, but no one had answers. Even Ansem the Wise was left baffled.

“We have already taken many readings. Surely it would have been impossible to miss a secondary heart,” he ponders.

Ienzo pulls up his complicated-looking model program, now with 3D imagery. When before it was mostly blank as Sora was being analyzed, now it lights up with new information. Two hearts float there in 3D dataspace—one marred with more cracks than whole parts, and the other glowing at only half capacity.

A truly impressive amount of question marks nearly bury them, though, which sums up the mood for today. “It’s possible that Riku was hiding. We only focused our efforts on Sora’s heart as we had assumed Riku’s was lost.”

“For a heart so present that it was able to return to consciousness without major incident, it is truly remarkable. Not even Ventus’ heart was able to make that journey completely.”

“See Sora’s model here? Most of these effects are likely from the power of waking, though that doesn’t explain Riku’s as he does not have that ability.”

“With the data monitor still showing irregularities, I recommend…” There’s a string of jargon that Ansem nods along to.

“The model is useful, yet not infallible. Machines cannot hope to fully quantify an organic being, after all.”

“Of course.”

“Sora has always been a peculiar exception, however. This scenario, while unexpected, does not surprise me.”

“Why do you guys still talk about me like I’m not here?” Sora pipes up, poking at one of the electrodes on his arm.

“Quit fiddling with that!” Even barks. Sora hastily slaps down the sticky he half peeled off. Ow.

In his chest, a faint pulse reminds him of what he’s here for. “So…are we okay? Can you tell if anything’s wrong with Riku?”

Ansem crosses his arms behind his back. “Just as before, you seem perfectly well. However, the data is inconclusive—” _ping_ , there’s that magic word again, “—thus without speaking directly to Riku, I am unsure of his heart’s status.”

“I still can’t remember anything. Apparently Riku can’t either!” After relaying what happened, Xion and the other two had left to run some errands, which was likely just a cover for talking if the whispering he heard them doing was any indication. Probably more about him; it’s everyone’s favorite topic nowadays.

“That appears normal. Your hearts seem to be suppressing memories, for one reason or another. You two were gone for quite a while, Sora. It’s not a stretch to assume you had a few unfavorable experiences in your time away.”

“Wouldn’t it be better for me to know? Why go through all this trouble?”

“It is protecting you, possibly due to the tenuous grasp your hearts have in this realm.” Ansem meets his eyes with a serious gaze. “Understand the gravity of your situation. Very few times have I witnessed a heart so far gone, return. You have managed what I thought never possible. We are unsure how much stress your heart can undergo in such a fragile state before it breaks again and would prefer not to test it. You are very lucky to be here right now.”

Lucky. Fragile. Sora nods, but inwardly he huffs. A few days ago, heck a few _hours_ ago, he sure didn’t feel lucky. And he hated to feel fragile, even if he knew that’s what he was no matter how much he’s trying to regain the strength that keeps slipping from his grasp.

But now, with Riku _here,_ yeah, he feels lucky.

Sora never gave up on him, believing that he’s definitely out there, but the pain of being grounded here when he could be out _there_ searching was eating him alive. But now he’s here! So he doesn’t have to worry as much, yay!

Plus, now he can finally lash back out at Riku with all these weeks’ worth of ‘things to knock Riku over the head with a melon baller for.’ He deserves it for making Sora worry, most of all!

He hopes he wakes up soon. Sora’s getting drowsy again.

“It is a safe assumption that your body is either destroyed or missing outside the Realm of Light, Sora, or else your heart would have naturally returned to it,” Ienzo says, then thinks. “Although…your heart never fully recovered. It slept even though it had all the pieces. Not uncommon, yet strange for one as tenacious as yours.”

“I’m still not all the way there yet,” Sora says with a rub to his chest. It’s becoming a nervous habit.

“Neither is Riku, according to our rudimentary information.” He points to the graph. “Another reason we may not have noticed him before is the fact he very likely only has half a heart, according to our early data models.”

“Half…?” Sora questions. Is that even possible?

“We need more information to be sure, but yes. His signal is very weak, but steadily getting stronger. Just like your heart, it’s a wonder he was even able to talk and move on his own earlier—yet somehow, he is managing to gather enough energy to _heal_ in short bursts. It’s truly fascinating.”

That sounds like Riku, always fighting. A flash of warmth brushes over his chest. He’s so close, yet so far away. Maybe…

“Is there anyway to maybe, um, get a replica body? For me?” Sora asks. He doesn’t want to say the words, really, feeling quite comfortable where he’s at, but…well, Riku’s back now! So he should go and stand on his own, right? Maybe that will help Riku.

The lab crew shares a look. “That might not be a good idea, Sora,” Ienzo says. “Like we said, your heart is still recovering from a tremendous ordeal. Moving it from one body you are already settled in to a new, unfamiliar form may very well send you comatose from the shock.”

“I’m nearly out of materials anyways—it would take months for me to get more and create another form,” Even says. “Maybe a year or more if I can’t find them, now that I can’t manipulate the Organization into doing it for me.”

“If you care to hear my theory, Sora,” Ienzo starts. “I believe it would be best for you two to remain together. Both your hearts in the conditions they are in, each missing pieces of the whole, I am certain you two help each other more than you assume.”

Sora thinks that over. It makes sense. The two of them have always compensated for the other—it’s why they work so well as friends and battle partners. Being away from Riku right now…yeah, he really doesn’t want to do that.

This is way better.

“I am sorry to say, Sora, the most we can do for you is to observe. If anything changes, let us know as soon as possible.”

Sora shrugs. “As long as neither me or Riku isn’t gonna kneel over any time soon, I’m fine.” More than fine, really.

“Ensure you come in for regular check-ups, please.”

“I know!”

“You will remember, right?”

“ _Yes.”_ He only forgot _once._ Maybe twice.

“Let us know if anything changes—”

“I will, I will!” Jeez, all this hovering! “If I’m good to go, I’ll talk to you later, okay?” With one last smile, he hops down and starts out the door with a pep in his step.

The lab crew looks at each other. “I give it a week until he comes back in some sort of trouble.”

* * *

And for over a week, things change again. Sora has a very strange case of narcolepsy where occasionally, whether it be eating dinner or washing dishes or reading a book, he’ll just kind of—pitch forward. Sometimes it’s sudden, sometimes it’s after hours of sleepiness, but either way he goes down like a rock thrown in the middle of a lake.

His friends were worried at first, before they realized that this is the new normal, and that (apparently) every time he passed out, Riku would come out for a little while.

The _apparently_ is because Riku hasn’t talked to Sora yet, even though he lives _right next to his heart and shares a body with him._

“Are you going to wake up and talk to _me_ at any point?” Sora complains to an empty room. He glares down at his chest where he feels Riku’s heart—snoring, in a way? Or maybe he’s laughing at him, that jerk.

Either way, he’s not responding. Because he’s a _jerk._

“He doesn’t say much,” Leon says when they’re both awake at 2 am one day drinking hot chocolate. Guess Sora’s not the only one with a messed-up sleep schedule. “He repeats questions and only stays for a few minutes max.”

“What’s even the point, then?”

“Don’t know. The second he hears you’re okay, though, he calms down.”

So yeah. This is his life right now. Sora passes out, Riku freaks out, _Riku_ passes out, and Sora wakes up with a crick in his neck. Tons of fun!

Sora’s gonna keep calling him a jerk until he stops being one. He really wants to talk to him like, _yesterday._

Ienzo says he still needs time to heal, which is why he’s so tired all the time and why Riku talks like it’s the first time he’s ever been awake, but jeez, it’s taking forever, when’s it gonna even out?

Well, Sora gets his answer soon after that. And nearly breaks his foot with it.

“Yeah, a mini castle would be cool, but consider: a dolphin,” he says as he stacks the bricks Cloud hands to him.

After enough complaining and pestering, he’s finally bothered his friends enough to convince them to please, gods, let him help build something before he ends up breaking something, like their sanity. So he got cleared to work in the bailey, repairing the border wall.

As well as arguing about what to make the centerpiece of the fountain in the square.

“The castle is a proud symbol of Radiant Garden. Half the people here have never even seen a dolphin.”

“It could be a mythical creature! We could start a whole legend on it.”

“Just because they’ve never seen one doesn’t mean they don’t exist, Sora.” Leon is patient as he talks; Sora’s been extra chatty lately due to the latent boredom and anxiousness of waiting. Making up silly arguments like this is a good way to get his mind off the waiting game.

Maybe if he says something dumb enough, Riku’ll wake up just to roll his eyes at him. Or…roll his heart? Well, they share a body now, so Sora guesses he’ll just sense the eye roll instead of seeing it.

Sora bends down to start placing bricks where Leon points on the concrete plaster. “How tall is this going to be, again?”

“Until we run out of bricks.”

A peek behind Cloud reveals a _lot_ of bricks. And they said they wanted this done today. “There’s got to be an easier way than this.”

“Oh, complaining now, are we?”

“I’m not _complaining_ , I like the work, it’s just I feel like there’s a better way— _ACK_!” Sora suddenly shouts as a bolt of panic suddenly lances through his actual heart.

A few bricks slips from his grasp and the only reason his foot isn’t crushed into bone dust is his honed reflexes from fighting deadly enemies on the regular and crushing his toe on the pointy coffee table way too many times for comfort.

Unfortunately, his reflexes aren’t good enough to override his innate clumsiness. Jumping backwards, his stupid foot _immediately_ catches on the brick pile, and before anyone can react he pinwheels into the street with a harsh, embarrassing _squawk_ to rival even Donald’s.

Ow.

Sora cracks an eye open with a wince, sprawled flat on his ass.

“Oi, Sora, are you okay?” Cloud asks, worry in the line of his brow.

“My pride is bruised along with my butt,” Sora deadpans, then smiles to show he’s joking. “Otherwise, I’m good.”

They’re just about to help him up when Sora doubles back over with a gasp, the ache in his back nothing compared to the way his heart abruptly starts hammering a million miles a minute in his chest.

A wave of feelings suddenly bombards him and—oh, there it is; that space in his chest where Riku rests? He’s not snoring anymore. He’s _freaking out._

“Calm down, calm down!” Sora shouts even though it seems useless. One second, he was laying bricks. Next, total chaos. What the heck caused this!?

Leon and Cloud are shouting for answers, and that only heightens his panic, worry. Sora waves them off. He takes a deep breath and mimes calming down even if his heart is still jittering like one of those wind-up teeth toys.

He barely knows what he says; just makes up some excuse about the bathroom or a nap or a sudden nearly-forgotten lunch date with Kairi, and dashes off.

Neither look like they buy it. He’ll get an earful later but _this_ is way more important!

Leaning against the side of a building, he hears it, then. Riku.

_What’s going on, Sora are you okay, Sora, Sora—_

Sora winces. He feels Riku’s disorientation as if it were his own and it’s making him dizzy. “Riku, it’s alright! I’m okay. This is—oh, man, you’re finally awake—quit that!”

_Awake? Where’s—I can’t see, can’t move—_

Oh. Right. Sora has the wheels right now. They’ve never been awake at the same time, so he doesn’t really know how this is going to work. “Give it a minute. Um. We’re still working out the—workings of this.”

A pulse of worry, of questioning. _You’re…here. I can feel you. Did I…I-I got you back?_

“Yeah. Yeah, you did, you crazy jerk,” Sora says, and his laugh sounds more like a sob, now. Riku’s voice, deep and warm and soft and familiar…he’s really, _really_ here. “You pulled me out.”

The storm calms. The questioning waves remain.

“There was, uh…a bit of a mix-up, though.”

_Mix-up…how? You’re here. Ah, the stone—brick walls…wait, are we in Radiant Garden?_

“Oh! You can see now?” That makes things a lot easier.

_Sort of? I can’t feel anything. It’s all numb. But I recognize that brick._

Now that’s a familiar feeling.

_You…I…how did we end up here?_

“We’re in a, uh, sticky situation. Literally. We’re literally stuck together.” Fumbling, he reaches in his pocket and flips the selfie mode on the phone.

Riku’s slightly blotchy face stares back and—oh, that’s new. His eyes are… _shifting._ Blue, green, teal, swirls of green again, heavy on the teal, back to blue. It makes his head spin, like glaring into a kaleidoscope.

Silence. _Oh. That’s new._

Sora snorts. “That’s all you have to say?” Granted, he had said the same thing. He presses his hands to his own Riku face and laughs.

This brings, predictably, more worry. _Are you sure you’re okay? You’re upset, I can feel it—it’s really strong, actually, I’ve never been able to feel it this much—wait, wait._ There’s a pause as Riku is presumably investigating the image. Processes.

_That’s me._

“That’s you.”

 _You—I—_ and Sora feels the moment it _clicks_ in Riku’s headspace. _Oh. Oh, Sora…_

What he wasn’t expecting was the wave of _sadness_ to wash over him bitterly.

“What? What is it?” Sora baffles. He’s been taking really good care of Riku’s body for literally this exact moment! There’s no way he can look _that_ bad, right?

_I didn’t get all of you back…I failed._

Oh, no way, he’s going to nip _that_ self-sacrificial nonsense right in the bud here and now. “I’m going to blame that on the shock. You _did_ get me back! I’m just missing one or two pieces.” Absently, he strokes his chest. His heart hasn’t acted up for a while—well, except now, with it being so close to Riku’s.

But it doesn’t hurt. Not in the least.

Sora feels him try to pull away, but this is all so tender and raw that every movement, thought, and brush is just—full force.

Squeezing his eyes closed, he tries to reach into his mind and send out comforting waves, imagines reaching out. It sort of makes his head pound, but he knows Riku can feel it—can feel him pushing _back._

This is new. This is all so new and different and strange, and cool. Super, super cool.

And then, there’s wonder as their hearts brush. _You’re really here?_

“I thought you were—I can’t believe _you’re_ here! Don’t start!” Sora cries. He slides down the wall. “We’re both here. This is real. I—this, you’re really here.”

A soft feeling spreads from the ribs, a brush of warmth better than a hug, so close and all-encompassing from the head to the fingertips to the feet.

 _This is real,_ they think together. And finally, for one moment, the world feels right again.

* * *

They walk—well, Sora walks them, Riku’s along for the ride—to a street vendor selling bean buns. For some reason, the walk is exhausting even though he’s been working in the hot sun with barely any effects all morning.

Riku, of course, worries and encourages him to the nearest bench. _You need to eat._

“We,” Sora elaborates. “Teamwork makes the dream work!” Flopping on the bench, he stares at the box of buns. Then squishes his chin to his chest so he can stare down at it, the best he can do to physically look in the direction of Riku.

“Why don’t you take over for a while and enjoy them, too?”

 _I…don’t think I can right now?_ Riku says. _Whenever I try to move, it feels like something is blocking me._

“Like an invisible wall and no matter how hard you push it budges only like, two inches?”

_Yeah._

“And you have pins and needles everywhere?”

_Yeah! How did you know?_

“I had the same thing,” Sora sighs. “I wasn’t able to break through it until recently, though…maybe it’s time based?”

 _Or maybe I’m not strong enough right now._ Riku says. The way his voice echos inside his mind is a little strange, but he’s gradually getting used to it. _Wait, you had it too? When?_

“Getting to you. Don’t you remember the dark beach?”

_Beach…_

There’s nothing but blank from Riku’s side. His friends weren’t lying when they said he had memory issues…

“It’s fine if you don’t know—"

 _You spoke to me through the light,_ Riku says, subdued suddenly.

The misty street! “Yeah! You asked for me first.”

_I remember your voice. I—even now I’m still having trouble thinking, remembering, but I know you were there._

“Of course I was, I wouldn’t be anywhere else.”

They’d managed to get their hearts to stop reacting like a live wire whenever they so much as felt too much, but at that he feels a jitter in his chest. Huh. Weird.

_You led me back here. I think I was aware of what was going on, but only at the most basic level. I remember feeling very, very weak._

“I was weak too when I came back. Maybe you just needed time to heal.”

_Maybe. You helped a lot, though._

Sora scratches the back of his neck sheepishly. “You’re going to make me blush, you know—or, make _us_ blush? Are we a ‘we’?”

Riku laughs a little in his head, steadily clearing up by the minute and sounding just as warm as he always felt it radiate as. _I guess so. You know what you’re doing more than me right now though, so you can be ‘you’ if you want._

“Augh, all this alliteration is going to send my head spinning again.”

 _You’re learning new words,_ Riku jokes. _But I think you used it slightly wrong._

“You helped me cheat at Scrabble, so I think I’m just stealing yours. Even if I don’t think I’m actually using them right,” Sora grumbles.

_Are the bean buns baking blazingly in the beautiful breezy bailey?_

“Now you’re just making fun of me.” Sora pokes at the bun, flinching back at the hot steam. “Did you feel that?”

_Nope._

“Well, we’ll work on it, I guess…maybe it’s because you’re not where I’m at?” Sora hypothesizes. “Here, try to move your hand, I’ll mentally scooch as much as I can.” Sora squeezes closed his eyes and thinks about stepping to the side or dodging a fireball.

_Alright. Uh…_

There’s a weird sensation, then. It’s—like a tingly worm is crawling from his chest to his right arm. Goosebumps trail in its creepy little wake.

_Don’t compare me to a worm!_

Oops, right, he can’t think too hard or else they’ll accidentally read each other’s minds. Stop projecting, stop projecting!

Sora pokes at the gooseflesh with his other hand. Bizarrely, he can’t feel anything there. “This is _so_ weird. You’re stealing all the nerves.”

 _It’s_ my _nerves, technically,_ Riku says as his whole hand goes real numb.

Sora waits. The hand tingles a little, like it was just stuck in an ice bath without any of the biting cold, but nothing happens.

“Um…nothing’s happening.”

 _I can’t break it,_ Riku’s voice sounds faint all of a sudden. _It’s…really heavy._

“Hey, whoa, stop trying then! We can try it later, no problem,” Sora hurries. “I’ll take it from here until you recover, okay? Trust me.”

 _Always. You’re the best doctor…_ What the heck, why is he so out of it all of a sudden!?

He can’t help but react to the fondness he hears with a lobster-like flush. “Jeez, when they said you were disoriented they weren’t kidding, huh? Please don’t pass out on me again!”

The words seem to knock Riku out of his haze a bit as feeling rushes back to his hand. _Others…ah, are they okay?_

“They’re fine. Overbearing, but fine.” He tries to project the image of them swatting him with a broom to go back to bed, hoping for a laugh from the man.

Sure enough, Riku’s soft laugh echoes in his mind, and Sora smiles at the prize.

A lady walking by looks at him funny as he talks, wide and uncaring about how crazy he might look, seemingly talking to nothing but the breeze.

“Oh I’m going to get judged a lot for this aren’t I,” Sora mutters.

 _Can you talk with me in your head?_ Riku wonders. Carefully, Sora closes his eyes again and tries to think of words…uh…cranberries, red, yellow, shoes, park bench, thunder, bruises—

_Are you just saying random words?_

“I’m not good of thinking on the spot, okay!”

 _Yes you are. That’s_ literally _what you’re best at._

Riku’s got a point there. Sora’s got a carefully crafted character close to him, and that’s crazy, carefree, and chatty.

A burst of surprise, amusement. _You catch on quick, too! You did the—thing! Alliteration. Kind of!  
_

“The thing—you heard that!?”

_Not as clearly, but I definitely heard a lot of ‘c’s._

Holy smokes. He’s going to have to learn how to shield his thoughts a little bit, or at least not project them as loudly. As cool as it is to read each other’s minds he can think of a few situations where it would be _not_.

Hopefully he won’t start crafting alliteration poetry about Riku in his head anytime soon.

The bean bun is soft and still warm. When he bites into it, it’s delicious as always. But just like that first night, it tastes a little like ash.

This is Riku’s body. And Riku’s back. So wouldn’t Riku want his body returned?

But Sora has nowhere else to go. And…nowhere else he _wants_ to go, honestly, if he has no body. What would he even say? ‘Sorry for possessing you like a horror movie ghost, hope you don’t mind me freeloading for a few more weeks, or maybe months if I decide the couch in here is too comfy.’

Oh. He really has been taking advantage of Riku all this time…

He swallows and sighs. “Sorry…this must be really awful for you.”

Confusion. _Awful?_

“Trapped in your own body because your dumb friend got evicted from his own.”

 _Don’t say that. You aren’t dumb._ Sora hears the frown in the voice, even sees it in his mind’s eye. It takes him back to that misty street, that indignant angry in the whisper-soft voice when he talked down to himself.

But Sora just can’t help it. Sometimes (a lot of times) he just feels so _stupid._

“Well, it kinda is. I just—you’re never going to have privacy ever again, you know? I’m here like some kind of leech.” A parasite, is that all he is to his friends? Or maybe a mosquito?

 _It’s all worth it, Sora._ Riku says. _It’s worth it to me. I don’t care if you’re in my body for three days or three years—as long as you’ll still be here when we_ do _get your body back, then I’ll be happy. I’ll be even happier when you stop with the bug metaphors._

The last bit of bean bun squishes in his hand as he clenches a fist. “But…I mean, I’m really no better than Evil Ansem right now, just—taking over, controlling you…”

 _If I had my own hands I’d smack your head for that one._ His hands twitch faintly in his lap, though, like Riku really tried to. _You are_ nothing _like him! How could you even—I’m not going to argue with you on this because I’m sure you can feel how wrong you are from me._

Indeed, Riku is— _burning,_ for lack of a better term. Sora winces as the anger in his chest flares and twists, a few faint brushes of images from Riku unintentionally assaulting him.

Memories, of being trapped, closed off from the world on a dark empty path, nothing left to do but scream and yell and slam his hands on the barrier between him and a smirking face bright with mockery, from winning, trapped broken lonely _helpless—_

And then a feeling of now. Happiness. Warmth. Worry, not for himself but for _Sora._ Reaching out to the barrier, finding it not blocked by dark force but by weakness, knowing with safe security as sure as the heart that beats beside his own that it’ll let him through once he gets his strength back.

Sora presses his hands into the heels of his eyes, and smiles as the burn cools to a firefly’s warm glow. “I hear you, I hear you. I believe you.”

_Good._

They sit in a calm silence for a wonderful time, just the two of them. _I promised I’d get you back, Sora._ Riku says, so quiet and private, words only whispered for him said with such softness.

So he presses a hand to where his heart beats for two, feeling more complete now more than ever. “I promised I’d do the same for you, Riku.”

* * *

The morning has shifted to noon, and the streets are now bustling with a large crowd. The market must be opening soon. Sora stands and decides to head back inside. Him and Riku will get more privacy to talk there; maybe they’ll call Ienzo too just in case.

Before they make their escape, he freezes. From around the corner, he sees a shock of red weaving through the crowd, and he internally groans. Maybe externally too.

_Axel?_

“Or Lea. Either or. You know, it’s really unclear.”

Lea-sometimes-Axel immediately hones in on his position like a search beacon from a lighthouse. He waves both hands and does some complicated charades that Sora can’t even hope to figure out before shoving through the crowd.

“Sora! You’re not dead!” Lea shouts once he’s within range.

“Uh…yeah?” Sora says hesitantly, then gets it. “Oh, Leon called you, didn’t he.” Seriously, there’s no reason for all the panic. Can’t a guy nearly break his foot and then wobble away in a distracted haze in peace?

“Leon? No, what are you—look, no time, we gotta go, _now._ ”

“What? What!” Lea starts herding him with a hand on his back, speedwalking through the mass.

“You’re so lucky I caught you in one piece, I was about to leave it as a lost cause and save my own skin, aren’t I nice—”

“Aren’t you gonna tell me what’s going on!?” They’re turning down alleys, now, and the worry starts eating at him. Is there a threat to the Gardens? Is it more Heartless? Did someone get hurt?

 _Someone’s coming,_ Riku whispers. His hand twitches involuntarily at his side.

Sora stills despite Lea’s cajoling. “We’re being followed.”

“Yes, okay, you figured it out, so keep moving!”

Lea’s about to turn an alley before he jerks backwards, pulling Sora’s hood as he blindly walks forward.

“ _ACK—”_

“Shush!” Lea peeks around the bend just the barest amount and cringes. “Oh, damn it, we gotta double back.”

“What _is it?”_ Sora whisper-shouts. Slowly, he peeks around the corner as well, expecting feral Heartless or, hell, maybe Xemnas, he wouldn’t put it past the Organization to come back for a third butt-kicking—

There’s nothing but the crowd, though. No silver hair, or purple eyes, or blonde lightning or pink flower petals. Browns, whites, black, some blue, dirty blonde…

Inside his chest, coldness. Riku saw something.

Sora squints and tries to overcome his sudden face blindness. “What are we looking…for…”

Just before Lea drags him back, he notices—just for a second, one of those people looked really, really angry. Familiarly angry.

Sora presses himself against the wall next to Lea. “Was that…”

Lea nods slowly and closes his eyes as if waiting for the guillotine to fall.

“Roxas.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So how about that Re:Mind huh??? That was SO COOL! 
> 
> I’m still going to finish this story but I’m not going to be changing anything to fit with Re:Mind. This can be its own alternate reality of base-game KH3 :) though I will change my time skip to a year now instead of 6 months, that sounds better.
> 
> Chapter title from Mystery Skulls “Back to Life.”


	7. Running Start

_“O lai…”_

_A humming melody, warbling and disjointed, whispers in the breezeless plane as the mother tends to their garden._

_Each star is more beautiful than the next. Some hum along, shining in their aimless hover. Some still and circle. Few are dark embers. One is silent, cracked, but faintly, so barely there—a fire still burns._

_Ensnared in their dreams, the mother sings to keep them calm, to heal their empty spaces. “O lai, I know…”_

_The need to be needed. The need to be fixed._

_With a gentle breath, the mother stokes the silent flames, attuned to its need. Something is missing. A vital piece, something that must be found. And they will find it, because they cherish the beauty of all their stars. They will see it burn bright one day soon._

_In the meantime, the mother hums, and heals, and stokes, and keeps, and treasures._

_For eons and eons, in the world between._

_“There is beauty in the way of things…”_

* * *

This time, Sora’s the one leading the charge in a frantic rush out the alley.

“How did he find out!?”

“He didn’t!” Lea holds his hands up. “I didn’t tell them anything, okay, I’m just…ehhh, not the best liar.”

At Sora’s frantic hand-wiggling, he further defends himself. “Roxas is a freaking bloodhound with this stuff, you know that.”

He’s got a point. If there’s three things everyone knows about Roxas, is that he loves ice cream, pulls off the sickest kick-flip ollies in Twilight Town, and never lets go of a grudge. If he suspects something fishy, he _hunts_.

“Me and Xion have been and trying to shake them off, but I guess he got tired of hearing our amazing and totally valid excuses,” Lea explains. “He gave me one text warning. One! I’m screwed if he finds you, he’ll be _so mad.”_

Sora winces at that. This is all his fault. If he only had the strength to show his face when all of this started, he wouldn’t be stuck in this mess now.

He was going to tell him after he landed in the Gardens, he was. But then a week passed, and another, and no matter how much he claims to have forgotten in reality he was just avoiding it. Because the longer he prolonged it, the worse the reveal would be, and the days just kept flying by _so fast_ it was hard to settle on the “right time” he was looking for.

Maybe he _should_ just get it over with now—

The brief memory of an angry Roxas flashes by, and he shivers. He’ll clobber him over with two Keyblades at once and cackle as he burns!

Lea understands this, which is why they don’t stop running like the (brainless, but _alive_ ) cowards they are. “Okay, uh, maybe you can—impersonate your clone!”

_“Rikuto?”_

“Yeah!”

“First of all, I’m Sora, _with my own voice,_ and second of all he’s like 3 years younger than Riku with frosted tips apparently, they look nothing alike anymore—"

“He’s a _replica,_ of course you still look alike!”

“ _I_ can’t even do a convincing impersonation,” is blurted out, voice going deeper and— _Riku-like_ , and Sora realizes that oh, he didn’t say that. His lips are numb.

“Perfect, you even got the voice right,” Lea encourages. “You just gotta write a soliloquy about darkness for like, five minutes straight, he’ll back off—"

“You did it!” Sora cheers loudly to himself as the numbness fades away. A shy flutter flits in the back of his eyes.

_Yeah…I think I’m getting the hang of it! Talking’s easier._

“I knew you could, next time you gotta try moving—”

Lea slaps a hand over his mouth. “Sora, shut _up,_ what are you even talking about?” They’re still barreling down the streets as innocuously as possible as a ten-foot Keyblade wielder dragging an overly-excited hero of light can be.

Luckily, the crowd covers up his voice nicely, so Sora shrugs at Lea but continues whispering when his back is turned. They make it to the fountain square with little incident.

_He’s close, stick to the right._

For a second he thinks he sees a flash of blonde in the crowd. “Good eye. How can you tell?”

_Um…smell, actually._

“You got your sense of smell back too!” Sora cheers again, then pauses. “Wait, what the heck. Out of everything, you can tell via _smell-o-vision?_ ”

_…Occasionally. Darkness is strongest, but some people have really distinct scents._

Sora’s heard stories of Riku having a darkness super sniffer, but experiencing it for himself is _hilarious_. “I can’t believe you remember what Roxas smells like.”

_It’s just—it smells like you but with hot tamales and sandpaper, it’s really obvious—_

Holy smokes. Riku’s digging a hole for himself so deep he’ll end up on the other side of the planet in half a minute if he keeps this up. This is some prize ammo to annoy him with later.

Though, the way Riku’s getting flustered…does he—and this idea’s ridiculous because Roxas and Riku can barely stand in the same room with each other without almost tearing each other’s throats out—maybe _like_ Roxas?

Ugh, no, no way. He immediately drags that thought away and privately beats it to a pulp. Roxas would do the same if Sora ever said _that_ out loud. Seriously, what is he thinking? Not the time, not the place, and _definitely_ not true!

Riku catches a whiff of his thoughts-feelings, and, bless his heart, completely misinterprets it as smack-talk. _I’ll have you know it’s occasionally useful in battles and extremely niche situations._

Sora’s been in a lot—count ‘em, a _lot—_ of battles. His sense of smell is good for cooking and tracking pastry carts, not iron and dirt in the heat of a fight.

 _It’s easier to keep track of enemies and allies with extra senses—_ oh right, he keeps forgetting Riku can hear his thoughts if he’s not careful. It still feels better to speak out loud, though.

Lea’s giving him a side-eye as they bob and weave, so Sora tries to keep it to a low, _low_ whisper. “Let me guess: you have a cheat sheet of smells you use in case you suddenly become face blind.” Forget about Roxas the bloodhound; Riku’s the new up-and-coming competition!

_No._

“You do!”

_No!_

“Just because I can’t see you doesn’t mean you’re any better at lying.”

_Stop making it sound weird!_

“A Keyblade master, _lying_ to my face, what would His Majesty say—”

 _Is this_ really _the time?_

Sora just snickers as they run. Man, has he missed this—getting a rise out of Riku, the banter, the friendly competitions, the mockery…

Hold on. Sora brakes and back-pedals. Roxas smells like _him?_ “Wait, what do _I_ smell like?”

The smell of vanilla extract assaults his nose out of nowhere and instantly makes his mouth water. But when he looks around there’s no pastries being baked or anything. Which means _that_ was the memory of a smell, and that could only be from one person…

Riku’s trying to play it cool, but Sora sees right through it and into his true, sappy, embarrassed little heart. Vanilla, huh?

_NICHE SITUATIONS._

Yeah, he’s missed this.

Before he can keep it up, having way too much fun, Lea finally drags him out of the thoroughfare for good and crosses his arms. “Okay. Are you having a psychotic break or something? You’re talking to nothing.”

Now’s a good a time as any for someone to know, he guesses. “About that! Guess who finally woke up?”

A light glints in his eyes. “Oh, no way, he’s up?” At Sora’s nod, he whoops and holds a hand up for a high five. “Hell yeah! What took so long, huh? You got everyone worried!”

There’s a brief sliver of uncertainty from the vague direction of Riku, another twitch of his hand. “Eh, he’s still waking up.”

“I’d buy an ice cream to celebrate, but they don’t have sea salt here.” Lea makes it seem like that’s the biggest insult he’s ever heard. “Ah, I’ll get it later. That’s great news, though—"

“Indeed. I would have loved to hear about it.”

The two of them freeze. Riku flares protectively but shrinks slightly under the aura of impending doom hovering behind them.

Achingly slowly, they turn around, feeling their hearts drop to their feet.

A tall, imposing figure stares down at them with a frown, arms crossed and blue hair fanning in the breeze.

...caught with the hand in the cookie jar. They’re in _so_ much trouble.

* * *

“Ow, hey, let go!” Lea yells as he’s dragged out. Sora follows meekly behind—he’s going to go out with dignity and his head held high.

“How childish are you?” Isa says, disappointment rolling off in waves. “Running away like schoolchildren to avoid your problems. It’s nearly as bad as the lying.”

“It’s my fault, don’t blame him,” Sora pipes in. He fiddles with their jacket drawstrings. “I asked him not to tell you guys…I didn’t want anyone to know. Lea only figured it out because he caught us off-guard. I was—embarrassed…”

Isa’s gaze is hard, but there’s a hint of understanding in them. “I’m assuming there’s more to this story, then, and the reason you’re by yourself…Sora?”

A burst of numbness. “Both of us,” Riku says. If Isa’s surprised by the sudden transition from Sora’s voice to Riku’s, he doesn’t show it.

“How’d you even find us?”

“You wouldn’t shut up,” Isa explains. Betrayed, Lea glares at Riku, and Riku mentally glares at Sora. Sora laughs nervously.

“Isa, look, I’m sorry, but I promised him. Me and Xion feel terrible about it, believe me,” Lea says. He frowns as he rubs his ear. “You didn’t have to pull so hard.”

“Well, if you wouldn’t have run away—”

All of a sudden, there’s a pull in Sora’s chest like a tsunami siren going off before the wave crashes down. For the second time in as many minutes, the impending doom is back but—worse. Oh, gods, it’s _so_ much worse.

Whirlwind Roxas marches through a crowd that parts in the wake of murderous intent.

 _“YOU!”_ He shouts when he’s halfway. A few people scurry away in fear as his eyes rove over them.

Sora tries to pull back (not far, just—a little, because he’s _slightly terrified)_ but is pinned at the wheel by Riku, the traitor.

_We’re dealing with this here and now._

Well. This is a mess of Sora’s own making so…yeah, he deserves whatever’s coming to him.

Judging by the approaching bulldozer, that’s looking to be a solid right hook.

* * *

To say Roxas was pissed is an understatement.

Something’s been _off_ the past few weeks. Ever since that weird jolt in his chest.

Lea and Xion, to the normal observer, seemed normal, except they sucked at lying. So when they said they were visiting Kairi, they meant it, he could see it—but they weren’t telling the whole truth.

There was no other way. He’d have to suck up his pride and get Isa’s help to either drag the information out of the two or pummel them, whichever came first.

Plus, Isa was the only other one who could drive. Roxas’ last attempt at flying did _not_ end well.

Confronting Lea answered nothing; he ran off after dodging every single question they threw at him! Now that he was in the Gardens, though—there was that jolt again, milder but definitely there. It sort of felt like…a whisper of a far-off memory.

Seeing a mop of silver hair in a crowd just fucking confirmed it. How many people does he know with silver hair that aren’t dead, old, or evil? _Not many._

What. A. Bastard.

“ _YOU!”_ Roxas snaps as he catches up with them.

There Riku is, looking… _way_ different then when he left, actually. Roxas never noticed how awfully pallid and exhausted he was in the time when Sora was gone because he never really cared enough to check (well, maybe he was a _little_ worried, sometimes…someone who Sora considers his best friend can’t be too steeped in evil, and Riku—he cared a lot, and Roxas could respect that) and besides, the guy played it off so casually.

But now he has actual color in his skin. His eyes are bright, muddled blue-green (Sora called it teal at one point, was that the right color? It looks...eerie). And he has a stupid look on his face, a flashing neon-sign of guilt all over his features.

Serves him right. He _should_ be feeling sorry!

“I was forgiving you for everything you did, even starting to _trust_ you—and now you pull _this?_ Where’s Sora!? What the hell happened that was so bad you couldn’t even tell—"

“Um,” Riku says, except that—that didn’t sound like Riku. “Roxas, you gotta calm down, please, it’s not his fault. It’s mine.”

What? Wait…

No way. No _way._

But those words—the _sound_ of them, clearly Sora, _there’s no way—_ takes the wind right out of his sails and forces him to take a step back. And see.

There’s no mistaking the jolt now. Because it’s the exact same one that brought him to Sora in the first place so long ago.

The eyes? Matched his own now. The face? What’s happening with _that?_

“What did you do.” The words are flat, bitten. He doesn’t know who he’s angrier at; Riku for doing this to Sora, or Sora from fucking hiding it from him in the first place.

“We—don’t remember,” Sora’s voice says. Roxas blinks. _We?_ “Yeah, it’s both of us. Me and Riku.” There’s a pause. “…hello,” now says Riku’s voice, and _WHAT._

This just got a whole lot more complicated.

“I know, I’m sorry Roxas, really, really, I—I wanted to fix this before I saw you guys, but…I don’t think we could have done it any time soon.” Sora sounds miserable, and it makes Roxas angry just hearing it—if he only knew sooner, they wouldn’t be in this mess _—_

“I’m not mad about this—I’m mad you didn’t _trust me!”_ Roxas bites out.

“I _do_ trust you. I was running away from my problems. Again! It’s so—ugh, I don’t know. I don’t know what I was thinking.” Sora sighs.

“You know I wouldn’t have—really, Sora, you really thought I’d think for one second—" Roxas bites, but then sighs. No, he gets it, because he was in Sora’s place once. Except he was fighting to be his own person—Sora’s always been one, and always put himself at such high expectations of himself that he refused to look anything less like a complete hero to them.

But Sora was human. Even when Roxas caught him at his lowest, he still tried that stupid smile and croaked reassurances not to worry about him.

As if. Forget it. He’s going to worry about Sora and Sora’s gonna accept it if it’s the last thing Roxas does.

For all that Roxas hated him at first, Sora was _good._ And if Roxas didn’t care, then he wouldn’t feel so strongly about it. That’s what Roxas does; anger, fear, worry, all felt way too much and way too strongly.

So he understands Sora. Because he _cares_.

“If it makes you feel any better, uh, I was probably asleep more than half the time I’ve been back,” Sora says, scratching his neck in such a _Sora_ move it looks downright freaky on Riku’s form. “Apparently dying really takes a toll on you.”

“You look better than last time,” Roxas blurts out. What a dumb thing to say—he’s talking about Riku because Sora’s form is…wherever the hell in the universe, so that was pointless to even mention—

Sora opens his mouth but then, his eyes change a little, features more pronounced, a little less slouch in his posture. “Because this guy won’t not let me ‘do anything else stupid’ in his words.”

Whoa. Now he looks more like Riku, even though he never stopped looking like Riku. He didn’t realize how much his features resembled Sora’s until just now. That was weird. “Take his advice, he’s always been smarter than you,” Roxas bites out.

Riku acknowledges that with a glint in his eyes, seemingly all he can manage. Sometimes Roxas really wishes this guy would get more mad; he’s way too agreeable right now to have any fun arguing with him.

Whatever. There’ll be time for that later. For now…

“You owe me an explanation, Riku. And I don’t care if you don’t remember—I’m already judging you for it. You too, Sora!”

“Yeah, I owe you that much and more, definitely,” Sora grins sheepishly.

Isa seems to have finished talking with Lea, and they make their way over once they notice that the lack of bloodshed. 

Sora looks between them all, the tension leaking out of the air to something comfortable and warm. “How about we go find Xion and we’ll tell you what we know on the way there?”

* * *

There’s a short stretch period, then, though the atmosphere is much calmer than before now that Riku’s back and Roxas’ discovery.

Kairi is overjoyed along with everyone else when they hear about Riku’s return. The lab goes wild with the new information as well, though the tests only confirm what they already know—Riku, against all odds, just like Sora, is unimaginably _okay_ despite existing on half-power.

Just like last time, they sleep. A _lot._ It’s kind of embarrassing how darn exhausted he is all the time. Being almost-dead sucks _._

Gradually, they get their strength back through little exercises—encouraging Riku forward to draw his self back into his own body.

It takes some effort, and some wonky maneuvering at first. It’s like that game he played at the arcade by his house, with the falling blocks you have to arrange in all the right places. Sora has to pull back at just the right time to let Riku break in or else they feel like they’re getting squished into a very tiny box.

“Ow,” Sora says as he pulls back after a slip up, pressing a hand to his nose. There’s a small smear of red on the back of his hand.

 _Don’t push so hard! We should take a break,_ Riku urges. He sounds a little woozy himself; they’ve gotten to the point where he can take over simple things like hands and head movements with little effort, but full-on control is their next barrier they’re trying to break through.

“Bossy,” Sora huffs. “Jeez, you’d think your body would remember you better, huh?”

 _It’s probably so used to you at this point it’s hard to change,_ Riku considers with a speculative tone. _Or it might be because I’m still, uh, not at the top of my game._

“It’s been _days_ , though. That’s about as long as I took to get to at least half-strength.” Granted, he has his whole heart (in pieces), but that’s beside the point. Riku’s _strong._

 _Well, that smear on your hand tells me we both need a little more time._ Sora groans at how sensible Riku’s being. They’re so _close_ , Sora can feel it.

There’s a ding from Riku’s phone.

 **Kairi:** We’re having a dinner downstairs in 10! Can you make it?

Riku sighs, relieved. _That’s our cue to break._

“No,” Sora says stubbornly. He’s not going to let Riku go another day without enjoying the finer pleasures of life, like enjoying the amazing dinners the castle prepares for them. It’s his _own body!_ Why is this so hard!?

_Sora…_

“One more time, okay, and then I’ll let it go,” Sora digs his heels in. “You _have_ to try their cherry pie, you haven’t lived until then!”

A song about cherry pies absently floats through his mind, nearly making him burst out laughing. The amount of random nonsense the two of them think about that managed to slip through their walls is truly astounding. Riku’s such a nerd.

 _You’re one to talk,_ Riku says as he catches the nerd comment. He’s right, though; Sora’s way worse. _Fine. One more time._

“Alright!” Sora closes their eyes, taking in a few very deep breaths. All or nothing.

He breathes in and out like the waves. In, and he presses forward to fill his box of space. Out, and he recedes, body swaying as it’s resident heart wavers from its position. Faintly he feels Riku swinging like a pendulum around his heart, feeling for the moment.

If they move too fast, their body will freeze up. If they move at the wrong time, they’re squished in a spot meant for one and are rewarded with pounding headaches. It’s all about _timing_.

In, forward. Out, recede. In…out… _now…_

Sora slides back, feeling their body go limp, a strange ache of numbness creeping up his soul. And then, just before their body hits the bed—

A hand reaches out to balance them.

Except, Sora feels numb _all over._ He can’t feel the bed. He didn’t move! So that means—!

“I got it,” Riku says in his smuggest voice, and Sora experiences the way he senses their body moving without actually _moving_ it, the way he sees and hears and senses without truly being there. “We did it. We actually did it!”

Sora wants to try moving their hands or talking or _something_ , but he’s too excited and maybe a little nervous, wants to let Riku reacquaint himself with his own body before butting in again. _I told you!_ Sora cheers in their shared headspace.

Riku moves his hands in front of their face, wiggling them, plucks at his clothes. Even though he can’t see Riku’s body like some kind of spiritual ghost, he can sense the wondrous look on their face, and how cute it certainly looks.

Even now, he can sense something’s changed. The barrier that held them back from moving is wobbly now. Maybe this’ll be easier than they thought, this whole sharing a body business!

 _Go downstairs and try the pie! Save a piece for me, okay?_ Sora says, and _oh wow okay,_ Riku’s laugh feels so _different_ when it’s actually him making it rumble through their shared chest. Really nice. Is this what Riku felt all that time? Did it sound different with his laugh? Did _he_ like it as much as Sora does?

“If it’s as good as you say I might just eat it all to spite you.”

_Rikuuuuu!_

* * *

In the calm, they go out on a day trip to a world of his pick once they manage to get the Riku-to-Sora-and-back thing down pat. Luckily for him, the Caribbean is nearby, and even better, the Leviathan is waiting for him the second he lands.

The salty sea breeze is a soothing balm on his anxious skin, and so is the high-flying ship sailing they traverse the seas with. Roxas almost crashes the ship into a rock outcropping, and Lea stuck a crab in his favorite pirate coat, but the way Riku laughed was so _awesome,_ because not only could he hear it, he felt it and all the emotions that came with it and that was—holy smokes.

He wishes they were both here to see it—not just their hearts, he wants to see the way the world-blending-in magic changes Riku from his own eyes, not just in a pool reflection.

He wants to reach out and push Riku’s shoulder and mess with his hair and wants to do everything with him, physically—wait, ah, no, _not in that way—_ but, sort of, he does, _ugh, he’s the worst—_

The lovey-dovey thoughts even happen when Riku decides to go swimming and grab his favorite snack at the same time.

“I don’t know how you can eat those things,” Kairi says, a little horrified as Riku tilts back a oyster shell, eating the goopy raw mash of oyster with a disgusting kind of _glorp._

“I don’t know either,” Sora groans, feeling it slide down their throat in a way that would have made him throw up if he’d been in his own body. He purposefully shuts off his sense of taste; nothing is more unappetizing than that salty glob of snot, _eugh._

Riku taps their head, the best he can do to physically cuff him. It’s the gesture that matters. “If I have to deal with your gross tastes in ice cream _and_ the stomach pain that comes with it, then you have to live with the oysters.”

“Ice cream is _good!_ Oysters are just— _ugh._ Just ugh.”

It’s a tired argument between them. As much as they all love seafood (islander life practically demanded it; if they didn’t eat fish, they’d starve in a day) oysters were something Sora or Kairi never got behind.

But Riku? He’d grab his shellfish knife and pop one open the second his dad fished them up. Because he has bad taste in food.

“I heard that,” Riku comments, tapping their head again, and Sora huffs in his brain-corner.

“You both are ridiculous, stop being so mean to each other,” Kairi says like she isn’t mean to them just as much on a daily basis. “But that is disgusting and you should be ashamed of yourself, you heathen.” Case in point.

The only good thing about oysters is that he gets to watch him break them open. Have Riku’s forearms (and now his for now, he guesses) always been this hot? Yes, yes they have. He’s been not-so-secretly admiring them ever since the weirdness rolled off from seeing them look like his _own_ arms.

It made Sora think. The way he used to carry logs, and tie up boats, and the way they bunched and moved as he twisted his sword—

For the rest of the trip, he stammers over his words and tries to play it off as a pirate quirk whenever Riku turns suspicious.

On the flip side, Riku’s thoughts are _also_ weirdly guarded through that trip. No matter how much Sora pushed him, he refused to sing sea shanties, but Sora could feel him listen avidly to him with a carefully-blank mind and hummed along a few times.

 _I really like your voice,_ Riku had said shyly, which. Wow. Sora's cute? That's so—agh. He's going to get cavities from all this sweet!

When Sora tries to pull off an acrobatic race with Xion that involved the shipmast, steering wheel, and a massive piece of tree bark as a surfboard, Riku’s thoughts—a simple _holy shit,_ and Riku rarely curses so that’s how you _know—_ turn soft. Sora doesn’t think he’s blushed so much in his _life_ from all the vague, quiet, sweet words he heard as if on the breeze through their shared space.

It’s a really, really good day.

After that trip, Sora feels ready. He feels _antsy._ He knows Riku feels the same; his feelings are just as much his own, some days. Being in the same body does that.

One day, he stares in the mirror with bleary blue eyes just woken up, watching the green settle in them as the sleep-muddled emotions of Riku start swirling in their chest.

“That’s funny,” Sora says fuzzily. There’s a questioning hum in their mind.

When Sora snags a tuft of silver hair and pulls it straight, it becomes obvious. The roots are growing in brown.

“I guess I really started to settle in,” Sora mutters. “Um…is this a bad sign?”

 _No, I don’t think so,_ Riku says, and he sounds sure. _Your heart is loud, it’s only natural it starts to be an influence. And before you say anything, I don’t mind._

Sora bites their lip and stares. The brown roots, the green-blue eyes, the ever-so-slight new softness to Riku’s sharp jaw—in this light, it’s glaring. It’s amazing how he didn’t notice before.

A brief numbness in their spine, and their head is turning away from the mirror. _Don’t worry about it. It’s just some hair—you know I’ve never cared about my looks._

“Your fancy shampoo says otherwise.” Still, the waves of comfort and unconcern Riku sends his way finally makes him smile. “Alright, alright, I’m going.”

He doesn’t think much about it after that day, not for a while. In his chest, their hearts pulse, beats steadily matching to one.

* * *

Sora wears a hole in the carpet pacing back and forth. In their hand, the phone flashes with the notification message again.

 **Unknown Number:** Hey jackass, what the hell is going on? Sora’s not picking up. I know you’re here.

“How did he find out?” Sora whispers. While fumbling earlier, he had mistakenly opened the message, so now a cheery little “seen” sign is right under it and making it glaringly obvious that he can’t play it off as simply missing (read: avoiding) the text.

Oh gods, there it goes again.

 **Unknown Number:** I SAW THAT. ANSWER. YOU KNOW WHO THIS IS.

The number may be unknown, but there’s only one person not saved in Riku’s phone that would threaten with such violence in every keystroke.

 _Vanitas…_ Riku sighs.

“What do I do!?” Sora’s still freaking out. “I’m not ready to tell them yet! Oh, he’s going to tear my head off, Roxas was bad enough—what if he already told _Ven_ —"

“Well, we should decide quick, because he might make that decision for us,” Riku says as he takes over, peering at the phone as the next text buzzes in.

 **Unknown Number:** If you don’t explain in the next minute I’ll spill the news to everyone here, and you won’t like the way I tell it.

Sora makes an unintelligible garbling noise and quickly starts tapping out a word, a sentence, _something—_

 **Riku:** explaining yeah okay yes we have a reason. reasons.

 **Vanitas (???):** Fucking “we”? So Sora’s there? Why the hell is he not picking up his stupid phone idiot.

 **Riku:** it blew up. dont tell ven yet pleasee, im going to.

 **Riku:** also sora is me.

 **Riku:** and how did you know ???

 **Vanitas (???):** Aqua was acting shifty and I figured it out because I sense bullshit a mile away.

 **Vanitas (???):** You’ve been back for however the fuck long didn’t fucking tell it to our faces??

Sora presses the phone to their face in misery. Ughhh, he hates this part—why couldn’t he have just told everyone outright, why is he so worried, there’s nothing to be ashamed of—

 _Is it me?_ Riku asks hesitantly, and Sora pops their head up in shock.

“No! It’s not that, it’s—it’s not.” Ugh, this is so hard to explain…

 _It’s okay, I understand._ Riku’s voice is trying to be soothing but some of his feelings still leak through, and Sora has a panic of cold fear as _shame_ radiates from Riku’s strung walls.

Never, ever, not in a million years will he ever be ashamed of Riku.

He projects that as hard as he can and tries to string the explanation together.

“I just—when I came back, the first thing I noticed besides the, um, physical changes, was my heart. It was…really messed up, at first. It ached all the time, I had the worst mood swings—I acted nothing like myself. I didn’t want anyone to see me like that…not my friends, not anyone. I wanted to be _fixed._ I wanted you back.”

There’s nothing but truth in his words; he _can’t_ lie when Riku’s right next to the lie detector of his heart. “And I knew everyone would just freak out, and I didn’t want that. So I told people gradually, but…I was afraid, for some stupid reason. Maybe it’s my messed up heart, but—yeah.”

Now, though, reading Vanitas’ dots on the screen, the way Roxas had tracked him down out of suspicion, out of worry and affection…well, maybe he never had a reason to be scared.

Great, now he was the one feeling ashamed.

 _…Maybe that’s why I—my heart—hid for so long. Maybe I was worried about how_ you _would react, seeing me this way, hearing me…I wish I could remember why._ Riku sounds frustrated, as the both of them usually are when they try to recall what brought them to this point.

“Well, you get it through your head that I wouldn’t have it any other way, you hear me?”

 _Same for me,_ Riku says stubbornly. _We’ll find your body, we’ll fix everything, and you’ll be okay again._

“Same for _me!_ And we’ll find the other half of your heart!”

_Fine!_

“Okay!”

_It’s a promise!_

“Promise!”

They sat there locked in standstill before the moment was broken by a peel of laughter, half Sora and half Riku. They’re both just so— _ridiculous_ over the silliest things—

Another text pings in.

 **Vanitas:** I’m walking to Ven’s room.

Immediately, Sora scrambles once again. Well, they were already planning on visiting. Now’s a good a time as any. He sends a last brief question to Riku— _are you okay with this?_

Riku’s answer is instant, his heartbeat clearly in tune to whatever beat his own marches to.

 **Riku:** Give us two days. We’ll explain everything when we arrive.

* * *

“Good news, everyone!” Sora yells on the morning they plan to leave, the group of them meandering through the market.

Clouds are starting to gather overhead; he’ll have to warn Sora about the rain once he’s done explaining whatever new idea is burning through his headstrong mind. He can’t really read what it is specifically. It’s just this general feeling of excitement he gets from Sora’s half—Riku can only read specific thoughts when he pushes it.

Riku mentally sighs in the cozy half of his own body. Whatever it is, it’s going to be silly.

Roxas, walking besides him, waits with an expectant ‘ _well then?’_ look. He’s stuck close by ever since he heard the news; the animosity between Riku and Roxas has all but come to a complete standstill, as it usually does whenever Sora’s on the line.

Personally, Riku’s never hated Roxas, but he understands why Roxas does for him and so, keeps their exchanges friendly and short no matter how much the blonde tries to get a rise out of him. The ache in his wrist always serves to remind him of the past, even if he can’t ever regret it. Just like he doesn’t regret whatever he did to get Sora back this time.

Sora proudly holds up an apple. “Observe!”

“…Sora, that’s an apple,” Xion says blankly.

“It’s not about the apple; it’s about what I can do with the apple. Check it out.” Holding the apple, he digs his thumbs into the stem and with a brutal twist, splits the apple in two with his bare hands.

 _Did you just steal my one and only party trick,_ Riku sputters. With his own body!

Sora only grins and doesn’t answer, which is as good a confession as any. Traitor.

“How’d you do that?” Xion exclaims. She digs around in Roxas’ basket for another apple, ignoring his protests. “Teach me!”

Quickly, he takes control of their tongue. “He stole that trick from me, just so you know,” Riku defends.

Roxas rolls his eyes but keeps glancing over to watch Sora guide Xion on the correct apple-splitting technique. Riku’d bet munny he’s going to try it later.

 _At least you’ll never beat me at trivia,_ Riku says. That requires his own mind, and if Sora ever tries to look into his while playing Trivial Pursuit, he’ll give him the wrong facts just to watch him grumble as he loses.

 _And you’ll never win a dancing game against me,_ Sora mentally replies, the way they talk in public now.

_I took ballet for two years, you know._

_And yet, here we are! 23 wins!_ Sora crows.

Riku hrumps but is internally smiling as he does so and knows Sora can sense it.

The two of them have finally found their rhythm with working two conscious hearts in one body. At any time, they can both be awake, but only one of them can drive unless they want to end up passing out or becoming too numb to move.

The backseat driver can, however, take over some small motor functions for a short period of time, or the two of them can switch with each other to drive completely, though this takes time and leaves them shivery and strange as they struggle to adjust.

It definitely won’t be good in a battle in its current state, especially because the two of them are still working at only 60% of their normal strength capacity. But day by day, they’re getting better.

Xion accidentally crushes the apple, so Sora pulls out another. “Riku might be better at explaining—take over for a while, will you?”

 _You know it’s difficult,_ Riku grouses.

_Yeah, but I’ve been hogging it! C’mon, you deserve to talk with your friends. It’s your body!_

Uh. Riku wants to say that Roxas and Xion are probably the two people in Sora’s friend circle who have the most reason to dislike him, even if they’ve mostly moved on from the past by now.

Still, it’s a _little_ awkward.

At the same time, it’s a nice gesture. He knows Sora just wants him to get out of his shell, which he’s started to shrink back into as he lets Sora take full control. It should be uncomfortable, especially with his spotty history of people taking advantage of him, but with every movement, every moment he talks, their hearts brushing and bonds shifting, it’s so unmistakably _Sora_ that he’s lulled into comfort before he even thinks to panic.

He’s spent his younger years running from Sora, then the later chasing. To have him so close now, to finally talk and be together in way not exactly _ideal_ (even if he not-so-secretly kind of loves it) but still close, is a luxury he’s been unused to having since they were young.

Riku knows he loves Sora. He loves him with all his heart, more than friends, than partners even. Being near him…he never wants to let him go, where he’s safe inside heart and mind, but he knows they have to separate eventually once they’re strong enough

Sora won’t ever know how deep his bonds run, and that’s okay—he’s accepted that a long, long time ago. Even with all his redemption, love wasn’t something he deserved.

Hiding that from Sora is going to be fun.

Oh well. He’s been doing great for years; he refuses to slip up now.

While Riku thinks, Sora makes the decision for him—he starts to worm his consciousness into the place where Riku rests, and Riku has to quickly jump forward and catch his body before it crashes from no one running it.

 _Sora!_ Riku says exasperatedly. There’s only a hum as Sora lounges in the space he left.

_You were totally going to say no._

Okay, yeah, he was. So what. Sora pushes him forward more. _Go! Quit being a downer! You need exercise._

 _Since when did you become a mother?_ Riku says—and shivers unconsciously for a moment at the thought.

…Where did that come from? Why did that sentence want to make him scratch out of his skin?

As quick as he can, he shakes it off, flexing his newly controlled hands to wash the numbness out of them and obligingly pulling an apple from the bag. “Okay, so this is how you do it…”

Riku hasn’t been doing much besides sleeping or talking with Sora exclusively. He takes over for showers (Sora claims to dislike them, which is bizarre—Sora usually loves showers), a few Kairi hangouts, two lab visits, one walk in the castle gardens, and not much else.

Sora keeps trying to push him out back into his own body. It’s partly out of guilt, from both their sides, and they’re stubbornly having a competition to be the most accommodating to _stop_ feeling guilty.

But mostly Riku feels it’s just easier to let Sora do the walking and talking for the both of them. Riku’s the weaker heart right now, amazingly, after everything Sora’s been through, so it just makes the most sense.

Recently, the lab crew finally brought back solid results. When they checked the status on their hearts, it was to find Riku’s split in half like the apple in Sora’s hand just as they predicted, the other section nowhere to be found. His heart was apparently hidden so deep in the glow of Sora’s own cracked one that it was near-impossible to pick up on it unless they were looking for it, which they were.

_“It’s impossible. If your heart was split, it should be sleeping at best or destroyed at worst,” Ienzo says as he pours over the results._

_“Well, we’ve been called miracle workers before,” Sora says, unbothered. Riku only feels happiness from his side, towards Riku, gratefulness for being here. Even though he’s not controlling his body right now, he feels their cheeks heat, to which Sora pokes at._

_“The strength of your heart is likely what’s keeping you here, Riku,” Ansem the Wise says._

_“I think it’s more than that,” Riku says slowly, voice deep, still getting used to the temporary switch. “I think it’s Sora.”_

_Because it’s always been Sora._

That was the working theory. Sora has pulled Riku back from the brink too many times to count throughout their lives—it’s not outlandish to guess that the hero of light had done it again.

Without Sora, Riku would not be here. He’s certain of that.

And then there’s the matter of their memories.

So far, no matter what they’ve tried, neither of them has remembered anything. The gate was Riku’s last memory; Kairi was Sora’s. That’s all they have.

So they’re at the market today to gather up supplies for a journey. There’s nothing left in Radiant Garden to learn. The only way they can get back those important memories and figure out what happened is to go find them.

Kindly, the Radiant Garden team has offered up their Gummiship to borrow. Riku is blown over by their generosity. They really have to find some way to repay them for all they’ve done; Sora agrees whole-heartedly with grateful near-tears.

Granted, they haven’t decided _where_ to go yet—maybe they’d start with somewhere familiar. Sora has, apparently, not told everyone of his return. Kairi’s been pushing him to push Sora to go out and tell them, which Sora huffed at nervously.

Well, she’s right. They deserve to know. Even if Riku himself is feeling uncomfortable with it. Because he brought Sora back, and even though Sora said this is okay, it still seems like a _failure._

They’re going to be upset. But they’ll be _more_ upset the longer they wait.

Roxas snatches the basket away when Xion goes for the third apple. “We need to save these for actually eating, you know.”

“We’re eating them!” Xion says. She bites into the crushed one to prove a point. “One more try. I totally got it this time.”

Roxas sighs, but it’s fond. He holds out a red delicious. “If we run out, you’re paying for more.” He looks at Riku, as if to say ‘look what you’ve encouraged with your stupid tricks.’

Which wasn’t even his fault. _Sora’s_ the one who started it!

Then he looks back at himself and realizes how childish pointing fingers at his best friend is. Jeez, he’s starting to sound more and more like Sora.

Xion waves him off. With a deep breath, she presses her thumbs to the stem, and then, with a twist—

The food cart next to them explodes.

The two freshly split apple slices go arcing through the air as Xion throws them at the large body that decimated the stall. It bounces off harmlessly.

“Heartless!?” Riku and Sora exclaim with one voice.

Townspeople start screaming, a stampede of bodies pushing past to escape the sudden influx of shadows that manifested from growing black pools.

In an instant, they form into battle positions. The grocery basket drops forgotten.

“What the hell? Heartless never come into the town!” Roxas yells.

It’s true. Ever since the closing of the door, and even after the brief re-opening of it, stray Heartless have only lingered in small amounts. The incident with the purple-eyed shadows has never popped up again—though there was an uptick of Heartless in the weeks after it.

It’s never been _this_ much, though, or this direct.

“I thought we had gotten rid of them!” Xion replies. “We’ve been chipping away at them for weeks, there’s no way…”

Keyblades leap to their hands in an instant—well, at least they do for Roxas and Xion. Riku has technical difficulties.

Braveheart answers, but doesn’t leap. It’s like the weapon is pushing through molasses to get to him, time he doesn’t have to waste. Taking a deep, calming breath, he switches tact. “We’ll go help the townspeople! Hold them back!”

 _What’s going on?_ Sora calls.

 _No idea. But we have to_ move!

The yellow eyes of the Heartless spot him as he dashes to the side, where a shopkeeper is trapped under her stall.

That’s when something strange happens. The eyes—like a light switch, they flicker to purple.

One of the bats screeches, piercingly loud—and just like before, from Sora’s memories, every single last Heartless locks on to him with single minded intent.

_Oh, no…_

Roxas and Xion are nearly overwhelmed by the wave that rushes ahead, but stand their ground. The Heartless, strangely, don’t attack them—they only have eyes for Riku’s frozen form.

Memory assaults him from Sora—the barrier, the mindless attacks, the frantic movements, trying to get to Sora no matter the cost—and he gets an idea.

With a curse, he lifts the log over the shopkeeper, helping her up and sending her away. Then he turns to the other wielders. “New plan—we draw them off, you go help!”

“Are you _crazy!?”_ Roxas screams. “Are you doing that stupid martyr thing again, because if so it makes you look like a tool—"

Sora takes his breath. “I think—I think he knows what he’s doing!” Sora says. “He won’t—he won’t put me in danger, okay, and I’ll keep him from doing something stupid, so _please go!”_

“You’re an idiot!”

“I know! I know. And idiots don’t die, you know that!”

Xion groans but, with a glance to Roxas, grits her teeth. “Alright, we’re trusting you! We’ll bring help! On three. One, two—” And the two of them leap out of the way.

It’s like—a demon tide rushing towards them, each Heartless mindlessly clawing over the other to be the first to reach him, to tear and rip and bite and snarl at them.

A well-timed feint sends him skidding to an alley, letting the wave crash into a (hopefully) unoccupied building and buying him some time.

With adrenaline pounding in his veins, he runs.

_Where’s Braveheart?_

Calling again, the pull grows tighter, the blade fighting hard against its binds. “It’s not working! We need more time!”

_Try—try mine!_

Try—the Kingdom Key? He scales a fire escape to curve around a bend and leap on a low-hanging roof, where there’s less people.

It doesn’t hurt to try. He needs a weapon, stat, if has hope of casting a good Reflect or Firaga.

Near his heart, Sora reaches out, and with all his strength Riku _pulls_ as Sora offers—

Without hesitation, it leaps. Riku opens the eyes he didn’t know he closed. The Keyblade hangs from his loose hold, tarnished but warm and solid.

 _Ah, it’s never—it looks much better!_ Sora says with surprise. Their hand twists it round and round to inspect it. Some of the spiderweb scarring is smoothed over though still infused with rust, and the bit is still chipped, but it feels weighty enough.

Riku remembers when Sora first summoned it, saying how it felt like a cold breeze, frozen and airy. But for some reason the cold metal now just—hums, almost happily, and warms to his palm heat easily. Even though it’s not his blade?

_I think it likes you!_

A few of the faster flying Heartless catch up even as he bolts full speed. The blade is still so new, he needs time; so instead, he uses it as a conduit to cast a leaping Aero and send them skidding down a roof three houses away. “I hope so, it’ll make this mess a whole lot easier.”

 _Could be your dashing good looks,_ Sora teases. _Or maybe mine!_ He sends a cheerful emotion over them, trust and adrenaline, the excitement of battle, and Riku smirks.

Running isn’t good enough unless he picks some of them off. It’s time to test what they know.

The Kingdom Key is different in his grasp. He’s used to the heavy-handed blades; dealing with the finesse of a lightweight one is new. Which means he has to adapt, _fast._

Naturally, his body falls into his offensive stance.

Even though they work really well together in normal life, he’s just now figuring out—battles are a whole new challenge. Because Sora has his way and Riku has his, so making split-second decisions when you have two consciousness tugging for “the right way”? Can be dangerous.

Case in point:

Riku hisses as a shadow catches their arm with a hook, scraping off the first few layers of skin but luckily not much else. Immediately a wave of apology washes over him from Sora’s nervous link.

_Sorry! I tried to do—sonic blade’s my go to for enemies in a line, forgot—_

And it clashed with Riku’s own Thunder, which sputtered and died the second Sora leapt. This is going to be harder than he thought.

Avoiding another swipe, he takes off running again with a curse. “We have to make a system for this!”

_Here—you focus on the physical, I’ll work on spell work! We just have to communicate._

“This—might have been easier if you were doing the attacks!” He can’t get the same leverage with the Kingdom Key. The thrusts carry too much momentum and the slashes, while effective at cutting Heartless into mist, don’t _feel_ the same. Maybe it’s Sora’s influence or maybe it’s just the blade; it seems to want to be used as a battering ram more than anything, which he’s very much not used to.

Sora hums nervously. _It really wants you, though…and switching who’s in front would leave us too open for attacks, it’s moving too fast._ _Behind you!_

Quickly, he spins around, dodging a hefty swipe that would have knocked them flat. Whoa. _Having eyes in the back of my head is really, really nice._

Suddenly, an idea passes through his mind, half Sora’s careful strategy and half Riku’s master instincts. As he moves to stand from his crouch, he moves the blade close to their side—not above their head, or below their hips. And then, he launches, lashing out with a yell and a brutal side-swipe.

The Heartless bursts with a _puff_ as it takes the full hit, more power in the strike than any before.

 _Woohoo!_ Sora cheers, and he feels his face curls into a bright Sora grin, which he happily accepts the warmth for.

So that’s the trick. They have to change their style to something in-between them if they want to win!

Voice a-buzz, Sora starts threading a plan, magics, chatter, talking so fast Riku can only pick it apart because of how long he’s known him. Luckily, they catch on quick.

The next Heartless don’t stand a chance against them.

_Alright, we’re on top of it!_

Braveheart still hovers, trapped, but that has to be dealt with later—right now, the horde is closing in, and he needs to shake it off until reinforcements arrive.

The two of them smile in their shared mindspace. And now, they have the means to defend themselves even stronger than before.

The chase continues.

The purple eyes chase them through alleys, roofs, buildings, skies, and streets. Their fighting is—good, but not _great_ , each trying to adjust with their new situation. But it gets _better._

Sora’s a master of spells. He may not be a “Master” in title but Riku _knows_ he already is, Yen Sid be damned.

Riku may have access to powerful dark magic, but it’s nothing compared to the way the brunet infuses his attacks with such energy laced in them. He could spit out Thundaga’s and Sparks with thrice the strength of one of Riku’s! He even knows the more complicated magics that take ages to cast right and knows how to follow it up with a painful Heartless-poofing bash just right.

It’s incredible. _Sora’s_ incredible

As Riku focuses on the _strike down_ and _keep away,_ Sora warns him he’s going to try a spell—a Time Bomb in the center sending Heartless flying, a Blackout to gain ground, and one failed Sleep at the end that they both winced at the MP exertion.

_Sorry!_

What’s incredible also is how well Riku’s body channels it—Sora must be magic-innate in his very soul, because Riku’s never been so care-free with his energy. It’s _stunning_ to see such wild strings of magic pouring off of them, energy rippling through the air in powerful swings. It may not be strong as usual, both of them still healing, but _still._ Wow.

The downside is how much energy it takes. Sora may have good magic, but he’s not as good at metering it out.

That’s okay, though. Riku can make up for it. Even if he’s starting to get worn out from all the hopping.

“I—used to be able to do this for _hours_ , why am I—” Riku pants. There’s an answering weak hum in his mind that spurs Riku on more—Sora’s wearing out, Sora’s in trouble, and Sora takes priority.

As the somewhat-culled purple wave lashes, another voice jumps in. “Because you don’t _listen_ when we say to take it easy!”

Kairi’s on the adjacent roof, a Waterga gathering around her. It launches in the next breath, hitting the Heartless like a bowling ball and sending the pins scattering with a _screech._ “Everyone’s holding them off! Meet at the castle!”

 _I’ve never seen a Water hit that hard before,_ Sora awes. Yeah, neither has he. Kairi’s getting real good at that!

With glimpses of the Radiant Garden crew drawing them off as they dash in a random zigzag ( _Like escaping a crocodile!_ Sora says. _Or is it alligator? Are they the same?_ ), they manage to evade the purple tide easily enough. The castle gates come into view.

“It won’t be long until they figure out where we are,” Riku hedges. Those things…they were unlike any Heartless have acted. They had this uncanny, untiring knack for hunting their blood in the middle of screaming people (what kind of Heartless doesn’t attack people with perfectly good hearts? They only had eyes for Riku) and such complicated roads. Heartless are never this smart, or this _driven._

It’s only a matter of time before they find them again.

 _We need a plan,_ Sora agrees. He takes over their voice. “We could fight them off, but I don’t think we have the strength for that right now. Or this castle.” The castle’s the strongest building, sure, but it’s still recovering after the _last_ Heartless attack—

The doors open and slam, two figures bent over and panting as they lean against it. “There’s just _so many!”_ Xion huffs. “I’ve fought a lot of shadows, but this is getting ridiculous!”

Roxas glances at Riku as he swipes sweat off. “Why are they so hellbent on you guys anyways?”

Sora sighs. “We don’t know! They did this last time, too,” he says, voice pensive.

Loud chattering fills the air outside. A peek outside a window shows purple eyes scanning the streets, frantic deadly movements turning slow and methodical, predator tracking prey. It’s disturbing how… _animalistic_ they are, and they shiver as the cold feeling of being _trapped_ settles over them.

They could hide. They could pick them off one by one.

But they had already planned on leaving, so why bother risking their safety on hiding when they could figure it out in the next world over in a few hours?

“We need to get off-world,” Riku decides.

“What?”

“The Heartless—the second they see me, they follow. I bet the reason there’s been so many is because they’re looking for me, for some reason.” Numbness. “Or me,” Sora’s voice cuts in.

Riku would also bet that the reason they’re looking has something to do with the holes in their memory. They were already planning to leave to fill in the blanks—this is just another push to get it done and get it done snappy.

“Where will you go?” Kairi asks. Riku shrugs.

“Right now, we’re going to run. We’ll call you later when we decide.”

“You could come to Twilight Town,” Xion suggests. “It’s not as far out, and a good spot to regroup.”

“Later on, we will. It’s too close right now. We need to shake them off our trail.”

 _I love that Master voice,_ Sora says so quietly he wouldn’t have heard it if he didn’t pause—before Sora shuts down his link with an embarrassed stream of consciousness.

Riku…pauses again. Did he hear that right? There was an emotion there in that tone, one he hesitated to name, but that almost sounded like…does Sora maybe…?

_IGNORE THAT. I-intrusive thoughts, ahaha!_

_Sora, are you…_ Riku starts, but is fortunately (or…unfortunately? What is he supposed to think?) cut off, his sudden bout of courage dying off.

“You’ll be careful, right?” Kairi demands. “Just because you two kept your first promises doesn’t mean you can disappear on us again. It’s an ongoing promise.”

Sora takes the lead, now, eyes flickering soft blue. “I will. _We_ will.” The conviction in his voice is strong and certain, leaving no room for doubt.

He turns to address the rest of the room, listening to a distant crash outside as the wave tries to track his location. “Thank you for all your help. Tell Leon and everyone we’re grateful for everything they’ve done!”

The castle crew nods. “Alright. Be safe!”

Sora pans them over to Roxas and Xion and offers them a smile. “We’ll see you soon, okay?” They nod back as well.

With one last wave, Riku grabs their bags and books it to the Gummiship, luckily far away from the wave.

 _Where are we off to?_ Sora asks, knowing they already decided long ago.

Riku punches in the coordinates and starts the engines. “First stop: Land of Departure.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TO EVERYONE: your comments are the sweetest things I've ever read <3 my week's been rough but these comments are giving me strength, thank you so much for enjoying my silly story :) 
> 
> I had a lot of fun writing this one! Had a really good day of writing banter lmao.
> 
> Beginning lullaby from “There Beneath” by The Oh Hellos.


	8. Catch and Release

_Something is wrong. Wrong, very wrong._

_It was quiet and lonely for so long in this empty sea. One voice is constant, but it’s not the one he needs, who he wants._

_Where is he? His other half should be here. He should always be here._

_So he pulled, and tugged, and sang, and called quietly through his glow, wondering, asking,_ find me! Find me!

_And then, he appeared. Beautiful, bright, steady—his!_

_When he cried out for him, he used his (weak, weak) strength to reach out for him, even though he didn’t get far—that constant voice, that other otherworldly form, held him back._

_But then, they let go. And Sora drifted into safe arms, finally whole._

_Something is wrong, though. His other half is sad. Why is he so sad?_

_He tries to coo to calm him down, to say_ look at me!, _but when the heart sings to him it holds back. There’s something he’s hiding._

_No matter how much Sora pushes, he won’t budge._

_So stubborn. It feels familiar, to huff at this annoyance yet still be filled with overwhelming fondness for him.  
_

_Things have been strange with him. He knows who he is himself but—abstractly, as a concept. His mind is muddled. Everything is fog—memories, heartsongs, strings, thoughts, feelings. It’s disconnected, scattered in pieces around him._

_But…with him here, the one he knows, remembers, understands how much he loves—things are clearer!_

_So when he feels this person starting to fall away from him so suddenly, Sora panics._

_No! He won’t let go!_

_With all he has left, he grabs on to the heart brushing by, grasping, holding on with everything he has, everything he is._

_There’s this lonely, aching misery in the black sea his other half has resigned to drown in. Sora won’t allow that. He won’t ever let him go, ever again. He won’t leave him to drown!_

_But his grip is weak. The pull of the waves is strong. And no matter how much he cries from the deepest recesses of his heart, his most precious person slips away from him like water—_ no no no NO—

_—not all of him, though._

_Because in Sora’s hands, shivering from strain, is half of that heart he refused to part with, faintly glowing, small and not as strong, but_ there _. In his hands, with him, where he belongs._

_He presses the half to his own broken chest, feeling himself being tugged away from the water, dragged on to safer shores and gritty sand. To a bright, bright light, outshining everything except the most beautiful light clutched in his grasp._

_He calls out to his precious person one last time as he starts to rise, becoming lightweight, floaty, airy._

_And rising, rising…_

_Light, in the clouds._

* * *

When they’re an hour out of the Land of Departure, they make sure to send Aqua a heads up that they’re stopping by, already knowing she won’t mind.

Of course, she’s overjoyed, and welcomes them with open arms. She also not-so-subtly prods to ask if they’re finally going to give them the rest of the story— _all_ of them.

Yeah. It’s a long overdue conversation.

Somehow they managed to keep Vanitas at bay by promising to explain. He’s been periodically sending pictures of a stopwatch ticking down from their estimated three hours, which was threat enough to haul ship.

It makes him think, though, as to why Vanitas is so hellbent on squeezing the answers out of him. From what Sora recalls, Vanitas never liked him. Even when he tried to kill Sora, he acted aloof and uncaring when he wasn’t trying to spear him through like a shish kabob.

It’s curious. Is it just Vanitas being cryptic, or something else?

Either way, there’s not much time to think about it—the trip passes in a blink of an eye. His eyes nearly cross at the landing. Already!?

“Ugh…this is going to be the hardest one of them all, isn’t it…” Sora mutters as he stares out at the grassy plane, the walkway leading to the training grounds and beyond it, the castle.

“Probably,” Riku says, thankfully not mentioning anything about ‘waiting too long’—Sora feels guilty enough. “Better now than never, though.”

Riku finishes clicking off the controls before offering him the front spot back. Sora hesitates. With the engines off, the Land of Departure is so quiet it’s almost creepy.

 _I’m afraid Vanitas’ is going to be standing at the_ _doors with a knife,_ Sora laughs in their mind.

“I’ll make sure you don’t get attacked before you can say your goodbyes,” Riku jokes along. Then privately, _It’ll be okay. They’ll forgive you._

“It’s not about forgiving…” Sora trails off. He just hates feeling so _bad_ that he’s almost nauseous about it.

Riku understands even if Sora doesn’t, not all the way, and sends a wave of comfort his way. _Hey, cheer up! Aren’t you excited to see Ventus again?_

Of course he is!

_Then quit stalling, I don’t think we have much time before Vanitas’ stopwatch runs out._

“Alright, alright, bossy…” The fresh air is cool and clear, soothing despite the way his heart beats loudly in their throat.

_If it makes you feel any better, I bet Rikuto and Naminé will also be waiting to pummel me into the dirt._

“Nams? No way!”

 _Okay, maybe not, but she’ll look disappointed at me and that might be worse._ A few memories of Naminé shaking her head at a woebegone Riku and Rikuto flash by.

“This is going to be an adventure. If Nams glares at _you_ , but Ventus attacks _me,_ they’ll technically be attacking _both_ of us so we’ll be getting double the anger!” They fully learned their lesson from the last Heartless attack; whatever happens to one happens to the other, curtesy of their singular body.

_Maybe we make a schedule? Mondays and Wednesdays, I’ll take the heat. Tuesdays and Thursdays, it’s your turn._

Sora almost trips over a loose rock before Riku catches them by striking out their right foot. “Ah, thanks—what about the other days?”

_Our weekend. We’ll let them leave a message._

Absently, he dreams of taking off during their made-up ‘weekends’ to travel or hide in broom closets to avoid people finding them. “Three whole days? That’s a lot!”

 _I want to spend as much time with you as I can,_ Riku says. Sora feels the way he—pauses a little at the words, and the worry that follows. _Is that weird?_

Sora smiles, nerves falling away a little at Riku’s hesitance. “Not at all. Especially not if I feel the same way.”

They crest the last hill past the training grounds, watching the castle come closer and closer into view. “Hey, Riku? What do you think was up with those Heartless?” Sora asks.

They got updates from Radiant Garden on the journey here. Sora texted with one hand while Riku drove—Kairi reported that, as they predicted, the Heartless stopped searching as soon as the two of them broke the atmosphere, the horde vanishing soon after.

Sighing, a hand falls to his chin courtesy of Riku. _I don’t know…I’ve never seen anything like it._

He hums. Sora doesn’t know either. But then why does the purple feel so… _familiar?_ Every time the beady eyes looked at him, he’d have to stop himself from freezing up, but why, _why—_

(— _means sharp teeth and warbling words and dead air and trapped, lonely, tether pull run safe, safe, no, don’t leave, don’t_ —)

There’s a tickle in their nose he quickly wipes away. A slight bit of red. Ughhh.

Not being able to hide much from Riku isn’t great sometimes, but it makes up for complete understanding. Riku doesn’t hover and ask a million _are you okay_ questions; he just plucks a tissue out of their pocket and doesn’t ask, because he’s as much in Sora’s head as Sora’s in his.

These slight—memories, feelings—are becoming more and more common, but make less and less sense. It makes Sora’s head spin badly, and Riku has to stop him from pushing. _It’ll come in time,_ is what everyone keeps repeating.

But he’s _impatient._ Something’s missing, and he can’t shake the feeling off. The purple-eyed heartless, the reason he’s back, the reason they’re both broken—it’s all trapped in those memories.

But that takes _time._ And there’s never enough time!

_We have to re-learn how to work together to fight them off. If they come back…_

“Definitely.”

Having to re-learn fighting and gaining his powers all over again? Blows. He’s already done it a million times before!

But the prospect of having Riku there every step of the way? _Heck_ yeah.

They’re almost at the gates, and just as they’re posed to knock, Aqua opens the door and makes Sora jump. “Oh, did I scare you?” Aqua smiles.

“It just swung wide,” Sora says with a matching grin. “It’s good to see you again, Aqua!”

“You as well! Come in, come in!” She ushers him inside.

The building interior looks much the same since the last time he was here, though maybe with a little more polish. There’s also more evidence of life as they start down the grand hallway. A new painting here, a pair of shoes there, an abandoned practice sword, scuff marks and scratches on the tiles.

Before, the castle was pristine, almost cold in its emptiness. Now it feels more homely. It doesn’t completely wash away his nervous dread, but definitely calms him down.

“So, I hear you have good news?”

“Yeah!” At Sora’s urging, Riku easily falls to the front. “Hi, Aqua,” Riku says softly, almost shyly. “It’s good to see you again, too.”

Facing them, Aqua’s gaze is focused, scanning. “It’s really you, Riku?” Her voice is hopeful.

“Yeah. I just couldn’t stay away.” Happy bubbles _pop_ to Sora in their mind.

“That’s—oh, Riku, that’s so wonderful.” She presses a hand to her forehead.

“After you left…I was beside myself. I couldn’t believe I just let you—all on your own! Anything could have happened.” She pushes her hair back, bunching it in a hand. “I couldn’t help but thinking that if anything had happened to you, if nothing of you returned, it would be my fault.”

“It wasn’t, though.”

“It’s not that easy to forget. There’s always more I could have done. I could have forced you out with us. I could have stopped the whole mission from even happening.”

Riku is a pillar of calm, relaxed and unbothered even as Sora’s still kind of torn up about it like Aqua is. “Ah, I don’t think you could have stopped me if you tried. I was—a little stubborn, or so I’ve been told.”

 _Extremely stubborn!_ Sora grouches. _Like always._

 _Like you’re any better. Pot, meet kettle,_ Riku grouses right back, a tired argument between them.

“Very,” Aqua agrees. “Maybe I shouldn’t have been so worried. You’ve got the same head as Terra; headstrong, but you just can’t shake him off. He always keeps his promises, and always comes back.”

Sora can’t resist jumping in. “Don’t leave yourself out of this.” _Her_ own headstrong persistence landed her in trouble for years upon years, after all.

Luckily, her smile is genuine than offended. “That’s true. I guess I can’t be a hypocrite.”

 _We’re all such a mis-matched group, aren’t we?_ Riku comments.

 _More matching,_ Sora says. Why does everyone he knows—yes, Riku, including himself—have to be so bullheaded? And why is it one of their best qualities!?

“So…where’s, um, everyone else?” Sora says. Only the slightest bit of hesitance in his voice. Very slight.

“I was going to tell them to meet in the common room once you arrived. Terra’s already there.” Riku perks up when he hears the mention of Terra. From Sora’s memories, he knows the man has been taking their loss hard, especially Riku’s.

Sora runs his hands on the wall to feel the whirls and bumps, taps his fingers on side tables as they pass. “He knows about Riku, right?”

“Yes, I told him. He nearly fainted when he heard.”

They both laugh a little at that. Aqua tilts a brow at the sound—they know they sound a little funny when they talk at the same time, which has been happening more and more often lately. “You’re kidding.”

“Trust me, he’s fallen over for less.”

All too soon, they’re at the common room doors. Everything seems _too soon_ today…even if he knows _too late_ is drawing up on him fast.

Before they enter, Aqua stops them with a word.

“May I…?” She gestures at them and they get the hint. At the nod, she reaches forward and tousles their hair gently, making Sora laugh and Riku wriggle. “Welcome home, you guys. You did well.”

At that, they soften. Maybe they didn’t make the best choices, or took the exact right path, but…hearing that validation means a lot to them.

Then Aqua opens the single door and sticks her head in. “Terra! Stop stress cleaning and welcome your guests.”

There’s the sound of fumbling and the roll of something heavy clattering on carpet. “Damn—uh, darn—” shuffling, and then the door swings as wide as Terra’s grin. “You’re here!”

At their nod once again, Terra gives them a hug to end all hugs. Riku’s heart bubbles over happily again. Sora laughs and leans into it just as much, grateful for the affection.

The seats they’re ushered into are soft and plush, and Riku takes the lead as Terra’s eyes shine. “So…Riku.”

Riku smiles. “That’s me.”

An exhale filled with relief. “I’m so grateful for your safe return, Riku. When you were—well, we were _all_ worried.”

“Very much so.” Aqua inclines her head with a look as if to say _so_ _stop making us go crazy!_

“But, look! We’re back in one piece!” Mostly.

“Sora had me _really_ worried there for a while. I can’t believe he hung up on me like that.”

“Hey, it’s what helped me drag Riku out of my heart!”

“It wasn’t really _dragging…”_ Riku argues.

“It totally was. You were like a hundred feet underwater. In a _current._ I dragged!”

Terra waves at their face. “Whoa, it’s incredible how your face—changes like that. It really is you, huh?”

They laugh, which still stumps the other two. Do they really sound that weird?

“I checked it a hundred times, and we were stared at so hard in Radiant Garden they could probably make clones of us at this point,” Sora says. “It’s definitely Riku.”

“And I definitely can’t miss Sora,” Riku confirms.

They chat casually for a while about what happened, bits and pieces of what each other missed. Aqua taps a side table thoughtfully after a while. “You’re going to tell the others the full story too, correct?”

Sora nods. “We need to make sure everyone knows what is going on.”

Quickly catching on to his tone, Terra hones in. “You have a plan.”

“Eh…not exactly. Not yet,” Sora says, and then Riku focuses in because he’s always been better at the finicky planning bits. “My goal is to get Sora his body back. We need our memories back to do that, however.”

“And Riku’s heart! We need that back too,” Sora exclaims. “That’s _my_ goal.”

“Has anything returned yet?”

“Flashes,” Riku says. “I was hoping to maybe search through your library, see if something jogs it?”

“You’re always welcome, you don’t even need to ask,” Aqua waves them off.

“It’s probably something to do with those Heartless,” Sora says. “The way they chased…it’s like they knew us.”

The other two’s eyes darken. “Heartless?”

“Have you seen any around?”

“None here, though I do recall seeing some while visiting other worlds. We had assumed it was from the Door’s temporary release.”

“How did they act? What color were their eyes?” Riku presses.

“Normal. These are very specific questions…do you know something we don’t?”

Sora sighs, leans their elbows on their knees as Riku runs a hand through their hair. “We think we’re being hunted down by mutated Heartless of some kind. They have bright purple eyes, and the second they see us, they—well, they’re out for blood. _Just_ our blood though!”

“I haven’t seen any of those around…” Terra thinks, and Aqua agrees.

 _Remember how their eyes changed color only once they saw us?_ Riku mentions. _It’s no wonder Aqua and Terra didn’t notice. The Heartless are_ hiding.

 _But why?_ Sora stresses. Low-level Heartless aren’t _that_ smart.

_I don’t know. But we might be able to find answers here._

“We just came from the Gardens. A large group was there, and ambushed us in the market,” Riku says.

Terra ruminates on that. “Now that you mention it, there were larger than usual packs of them roaming the countryside whenever we encountered them. But they didn’t act any different.”

“In any case, you should be safe here at the very least,” Aqua says. “This place is warded against darkness.”

“We’ll keep an eye out when we venture out, and I’ll check in some of the old tomes. Let us know if you need anything, anything at all, okay?” Terra smiles.

Sora nods gratefully. “Thank you, guys. Any help is good help!”

Suddenly, there’s a sound outside the door.

 _Speaking of Heartless…_ Riku mutters. They hear the thud of heavy boots start slamming down the hall.

“Couldn’t have given us more of a warning? You just barge in as you please, don’t you,” Vanitas mocks, turning into the common room.

He looks—pretty much exactly the same as he did when Sora last fought him, with all dark clothes and a permanent scowl. Except his posture is uncaring, there’s no weapon in his hand, he’s dressed in casual clothes, and—is that a streak of purple in his hair?

“Oh, Vanitas, could you tell—”

“Already did,” he says to Aqua, and then sneers at Sora. “Didn’t tell them anything else if that’s what you pests are worried about, though.”

“Ah—thanks—”

“Don’t even. I’m just here to watch you get beaten into a pulp when you spring this on them.” Vanitas’ glare is harsh, and well-deserved.

_…at least he’s not holding a knife?_

That’s—even more terrifying. Is he going to be looking over his shoulder this entire trip?

“So, um, are they—” right on cue, there’s the sound of more footsteps. Right. Okay. Deep breathes, Sora.

When Ventus walks in the room, though, Riku has to take over their lungs because Sora just stops.

“What’s going…on.”

Their gazes lock, and Sora gets full view of the spread of emotions: confusion, realization, shock, and finally, thankfully, glee.

A wide grin spreads over Ventus’ face. “Riku! You—you’re back! I knew it, I knew something was up! Are you okay? Where’s Sora? How long—”

“Maybe slow down, Ven, give him some breathing room?” Terra insists.

Nodding quickly, Ventus runs up to them as Sora-as-Riku jogs to meet him in the middle. “Right, sorry, I was just so excited! I knew something was up. Did Sora come in with you? I could feel his heart miles and miles away—” Then, just like the others, he pauses halfway there.

And Sora expects what comes next. The shock of seeing him, _Sora,_ in his eyes in Riku’s face, the next big realization. The wonder of _where’s Sora_ fades from Ven’s face, and Sora braces for a mass of questions incoming his way and needing to re-explain this all for the hundredth time.

But Sora forgets how well Ventus knows him, and how understanding.

In the next breath, his arms are thrown over their shoulders, and Sora _melts_ into the hug. Vanitas’ looks disgruntled at this.

“You—this is just like—I can’t believe it!” Ventus cheers. “Both of you? Wow!”

Sora laughs awkwardly. “Weird, right?”

“Not really. It’s just Riku keeping you safe, right? Just like you did for me.”

Suddenly Sora wants to cry. He should have seen Ventus sooner, all his friends _sooner._ Just being around them makes him feel so happy. Riku isn’t unaffected either, staying quiet but swirling around peacefully, soaking up the warmth pouring from Sora’s overloaded-with-kindness heart.

“What’s crazy is how you’re even moving! I was like, _comatose_ for years and you’re here walking? How’d you do it?”

“It’s a long story,” Sora warns.

“Then you better start soon,” Vanitas grumbles. “Quit beating around the bush, coward.”

Coward. Ouch.

“The problem is I’m missing a big chunk of it…I only really remember waking up on the Islands, and maybe a few bits and pieces before that,” Sora explains.

Ventus thinks. “Maybe it has something to do with that weird feeling I had a little while ago?”

“Huh?”

“I thought it was—almost a month ago, maybe more? When I first thought you came back. I called your phone but no one picked up, so I guess I was wrong. But you _just_ got back, right? So what did I feel then?”

“Ah, um…” Sora stutters. “No, no you were right the first time.”

Confusion. “It’s only been a few days. Right? If it was longer you would have visited sooner!”

“I fell in the ocean, um…probably around the same time you felt that. It’s been a…really hard month. Time hasn’t felt real lately, I’ve been sleeping like the dead—"

_Not a good crowd for that joke._

“—well, not _dead_ dead just, not…awake? Every so often? What would you call—"

“How long have you been back,” Ventus monotones.

“…a month or so,” Sora mumbles. Ventus nods and doesn’t stop. “Ven—”

“Why didn’t you tell me? We always tell each other everything!”

“Ven, I’m _sorry,_ it was—I didn’t know what to do, I wasn’t adjusting well. I didn’t want to subject you guys to that.”

“You know I wouldn’t have cared! You knew that! I could have _helped.”_

“I—I know that, but I still…sometimes I don’t know what to say or think or do and then I lock up and get all afraid for no reason so I just kept putting it off. But I realized it after Roxas finally knocked some sense in me—”

“Roxas? Roxas knew before me?” Ven bites. “I really was the last to know, huh? I was—” he cuts himself off and turns away.

Sora’s heart _aches._ “Ven—"

“That’s—great, Sora. Thanks for telling us. I’m glad you’re here, really. I, um, have to…I gotta do something real quick, okay? I’ll talk to you in a bit.” Then he leaves, posture tense, a corded barely-restrained emotion in his movements that give them pause long enough for him to get away.

Sora watches him go, frozen. Oh—he _feels_ Ventus’ emotions for a split second as he brushes by, careful not to touch but it’s enough—a wave of ice washes him down, guilty, guilty dread pooling at their shoes.

Vanitas glares at them as if he was imagining slowly skinning him alive with a potato peeler. “Nice going, asshole.”

“Hey, why did I just see Ven bolt down the hall—” a new voice pops in, and there, in the flesh, stands the Riku Replica, with—huh, he really does have frosted blue-dyed tips. He barely even looks like Riku anymore.

“Rikuto,” Riku greets.

Naminé pokes her head in too, hair braided to the side. “…oh, I get it,” is all she says as she takes in the scene and connects the dots.

Rikuto recovers from his paralysis quicker. In less than half a second, a solid right hook is smashed into their cheekbone with a painful _crack._

And Vanitas, the bastard, starts laughing.

* * *

It takes time to get an audience with Ventus, but they have time to spare. Explaining to an angry goth, a frustrated punk, and a worried peacemaker what happened caused a lot of shouting due to the gaping holes in their memories, and they spent most of the time just defending against the deluge of questions.

“ _This_ is the explanation you promised? It sucks!” Vanitas fumes. They’d probably get a matching purple bruise on their other cheek if Rikuto, who was starting to look a little sorry, didn’t hold him back.

“What do you mean you just woke up like this? That kind of stuff just doesn’t happen. And you’re broken? What does that even _mean_?” Rikuto says confusedly.

Riku is on front-brain duty while Sora malingers in the back of their mind like a storm cloud. He had to stop the brunette from dashing to Ventus immediately, thinking that the blond needs some space.

 _Is he okay? I feel so bad, ugh, why did I_ do _that—what was I thinking!_

Nothing Riku says calms him down, so he lets Sora vent it out and promises himself to help later. Sometimes that’s the best thing you can do for a friend.

Luckily Naminé managed to break them up before Aqua was forced to jump in. “I think we should focus on fixing what’s wrong,” she pipes up timidly, which has the effect of a Stop spell for how well everyone listens. “Sora and Riku need our help. It doesn’t matter what happened or how long it took them to say it—now we know, so we can do something about it!”

After that it’s easy enough to disperse the group to talk later as Sora starts getting so antsy to find Ventus not even Riku could hold him back.

Terra pulls them aside before Sora dashes them off. “Give him time. He’s hurt, but he’ll forgive you.”

“I know,” Sora fidgets. “But I can’t not be there. I need to—I just want to say sorry.”

Sora loves loudly and loves with his entire being. When someone he loves hurts, he hurts just as much. He gives space if wanted, but in this situation—it’s as if he knows that’s not good enough, not what’s needed, because Sora has a deep-set intuition for these things.

Terra must realize this, because all he does is clap them on the shoulder and say, “Just tread lightly.”

And he does. Ventus and Sora talk for a long time after that. Riku gives them the privacy they deserve after his own short pep talk with Sora, meditating in the deep recesses of his mind until the noise becomes a background hum. It warbles in a shout once, quiets to fuzzy whispers—then bounces on a laugh.

Riku smiles. Seems like it’s going well so far.

It was always going to, really, because that’s who Sora is. Riku may not know Ventus as well, but he’s the same. Forgiving, accepting, relentless, and kind. If Riku wasn’t living right next to it, he’d think Sora’s heart was made of spun sugar and gold. It’s truly one-of-a-kind.

So they’ll work this out just fine. In this mindscape, he’s comfortable, and they deserve time to talk without worry or interruption. If Sora needs him, he’ll ask—Riku knows the two of this will come out of this stronger than ever.

The next day, it’s like nothing had happened. Ventus laughs and jokes with them like normal, having no trouble switching between who’s talking and who’s not. They’re pressed with questions about the limits of their ability, and what they can or cannot do. Sora even shows off the apple trick again (the _stolen_ apple trick!).

One major concern they have is the Keyblades.

“I can’t summon Braveheart,” Riku says with no small amount of frustration. In his hands, the battered Kingdom Key dangles. “And that’s not all.”

Switching, Sora starts to grasp his key tighter, but in the next instant it—glitches, is the best word for the way it warbles like a mirage and _flashes_ out of existence, quickly replaced with a punched-out silver blade.

There’s a sting in their hands lingering from when the weapon malfunctioned. Terra presses a hand to his chin. “Well…that’s certainly unusual.”

“Definitely,” Sora agrees, spinning Braveheart around. “Have you seen this kind of thing before? Anywhere?”

“I have,” Ventus pipes up. “Your Keyblades…they look like the χ-Blade.”

They consider that. “I don’t even want to try summoning that right now but I’m pretty sure it didn’t look _this_ bad,” Sora says, and Riku agrees. The last time they tried to switch keychains that weren’t Braveheart or the Kingdom Key resulted in disaster and bedrest.

Ventus shakes his head. “Not now. In my heart, when I was in the Graveyard fighting Vanitas that first time—it was completely mangled because it wasn’t complete.” A pause. “It also exploded.”

Their Keyblade is dropped. No matter how much they love their weapons, they’re not risking that again.

“I remember that. That was when—ah, I know when,” Aqua murmurs. It doesn’t seem like a good memory.

“So what does that mean for us, exactly?”

“Uhh…”

“Your hearts,” Terra says. “You cannot fight as you once did with the damage you sustained. Your weapons reflect that.”

“We knew that, though. That doesn’t explain why only Riku’s Keyblade listens to me.” Sora just sounds completely befuddled.

“What, exactly, do you feel when the other’s Keyblade speaks to you?”

“The same as usual,” Riku says. The Kingdom Key is warm and easy to maneuver just like Braveheart was. It doesn’t hurt to hold like calling his own weapon did.

Actually…

 _We_ did _handle our own weapons up until a little while ago!_ Sora wonders, thinking back to Sora’s first encounter with the purple-eyed Heartless and Riku first waking up. _What changed?_

What indeed? They tell the group this.

“What was that like?”

Two different answers. “Freezing cold and airy,” Sora says. “Burning and heavy,” Riku says.

Sora and Riku mentally blink at each other at their responses. _Strange._ It doesn’t make any sense why they were so different in the same situation.

“If the point of divergence was when you began fully inhabiting your body as two, the Keyblades might simply be confused. With one body, they might have trouble distinguishing between the two of you,” Aqua says.

“Maybe it’s their hearts again,” Ventus starts. “Riku keeps Sora safe. So Sora’s key goes to Riku because it knows Riku’s the one who can protect him best, and vice versa. Riku, you said your heart was damaged too, right?”

They nod.

“So to protect you, maybe yours goes to Sora!”

“Actually, that might really be true,” Terra says with steadily growing enthusiasm. “That happened before between you guys, I remember you mentioned that once!”

That’s right! That was when—the Islands fell into darkness all those years ago. When Riku was so saturated with misery and shadow that his Keyblade, the one Terra entrusted to him to keep his precious lights _safe,_ abandoned him. For his own good, though he wouldn’t realize that until years later.

It went to Sora, who never gave up on Riku, even after all the terrible things he’s done, who accepts all his black marks and ugly scars, who looked at him and said _come back to us_ and _we’re friends_ in the same breath, who, who—

Soothing waves swipe at his spiraling thoughts like arms chasing away wasps, and Riku smiles. Speaking of the devil—

 _None of that now!_ Sora says cheerily. _This is good news. It means I’m doing my job!_

_I think we’ve got this all backwards. I’m the Master with a job to do._

_And why can’t it be both ways, huh?_

Because, that’s—well, that’s Riku’s purpose—

_Don’t argue!_

Riku gives up with a smile. Alright, then. If their weapons demand that they save each other, then what can he say?

But…

“We still need our own Keyblades back,” Riku says. As fine as using new Keyblades in select situations is, their own blades are so closely connected to their hearts that the mere absence of them is a weakness. Plus, with all that damage on them—something is _wrong._

Without the Keyblades at full power, they can’t even begin to fight off the levels of Heartless they usually do—they were already overwhelmed in the Gardens, and that wasn’t even a full-blown horde. Riku sighs, and then winces as another shock jolts up his arm when he realizes they unintentionally swapped. Their weapons did not appreciate it.

Sora jumps in. “I mean, we’ve used each other’s Keyblades before, what makes this any different?”

“It’s not about using the blade. It’s about how they perform,” Riku explains. “You saw how we acted out there. With our hearts like this, we exhaust faster, our spells are weaker, and our movements are slowed.”

“We still fought really well,” Sora says. “But…I _am_ really worried about them.” Then he groans and slaps a hand to their forehead. “Ugh, does this mean we need more sleep!?”

That’s how he knows something’s really wrong with them. The day Sora refuses naps is clearly an indicator of the end of the world. They need to fix this, _stat._

“If you say you’ve slept as much as you have, I don’t think that would do you much good anymore,” Aqua considers. “It ties back to your memories. It’s holding back your power. Riku’s right—using your weapons this way is only a temporary solution.”

“Right, right. Still, you have to admit…it is really nice, you know? To know that they’re looking out for us,” Sora grins like having semi-sentient weapons as quasi-parental figures is normal and cool.

And maybe Riku’s just the same as him, because—yeah, it kinda is.

The threads to their weapons pulse faintly with the rush of warmth from their own unbreakable bond.

* * *

“I’m actually not sorry about punching you,” Rikuto huffs.

“Rikuto!” Naminé scolds.

“What? They needed the swift kick in the ass.”

“No, he’s right, we kind of needed it,” Riku says, scratching his bruised cheek. “Um, sorry.”

“Don’t even mention it.”

“We’re really glad to have you back, you two,” Naminé smiles. They already shared a hug and many grins already, talking for a while about everything and nothing. Rikuto refused a hug but begrudgingly tolerated a hair ruffle.

“It’s just me right now, actually,” Riku admits. “Sora’s sleeping.”

Rikuto scoffs. “Napping? It’s barely noon!”

Apologetically, Naminé gives Riku a look. “Sorry he’s become so mean; he spends a lot of time with Vanitas. He’s a bad influence.” Rikuto sputters.

“That explains the punk hair, then?” Riku teases, risking another ruffle. Predictably he’s slapped away.

“I’m going to chop yours off, see how you like it,” Rikuto grumbles. Honestly, that’s probably not a bad idea; his hair is getting really long. Absurdly long. _Ansem long_. Maybe he’ll ask Naminé if she can cut it at some point?

“How about you, Naminé? How are you settling in?” Riku questions.

“I love it here!” She gushes. “Everyone is so friendly and welcoming. It’s—I have so many friends now, and I never really had that before so this is really, really nice.”

Just by looking at her, her happiness is clear as day, smile wide and unguarded. She never looked like that around Ansem or in Castle Oblivion. Now, free to pursue her passions around friends, she’s stepping out of her shy self and it’s wonderful to see.

“I managed to summon my Keyblade, too! And I’m working on my sketches more. Everyone says they look really good.”

“Not just _good,_ they’re incredible, Naminé!” Rikuto expresses. “You’re really talented.”

A light blush settles over her features. “You’re so sweet. Thank you, thank you again!”

He jokingly pushes at Naminé’s shoulders. “What did I say about thanking me? You hit your thank limit for the year!”

“But you deserve all the thanks! You were one of my first friends, and you’re always so nice, and you were the one that brought me back in the first place—” she squeaks as Rikuto pushes her harder, a matching flush on his skin. He just can’t take a compliment.

Riku laughs brightly. The bickering reminds him of him and Sora when they were younger, and how they’d squabble over the silliest things to put smiles on each other’s faces.

Rikuto looks back over to him. “Anyways, what’s it like, anyways?”

Riku blinks, and Rikuto gestures. “Like, with him. Was it like how we were joined at the hip for a while?”

“Not really? It’s—well, it’s like when he’s normally here except closer.” Even now he can hear Sora snoring as his heart rests. How can a heart _snore?_ Only Sora, he supposes. “We’re still our own persons.”

“You’re saying I wasn’t?”

“You definitely are. It just feels—different, with Sora.” It’s impossible to explain. Having Rikuto’s heart joined to his back then is _different_ compared to having Sora’s beating besides his own.

“Is it because of your massive crush on him?” Rikuto deadpans.

Riku flinches. “Huh— _what—”_

_“Rikuto!”_

“Don’t even play it off because I technically _am_ you. I totally know that you’re head over heels for that guy years ago and that you find his butt cute—ow!” He exaggerates a wince as Naminé taps his head with her sketchbook. Riku refuses to look up from his hands. His face is a beacon.

“Again, I’m sorry about him,” Naminé says politely. “That was Vanitas again. But…it is true, right? You do—” Naminé leans in close, like saying it quieter would make Sora not wake up and hear it despite being in the same body. “—really love him. I’ve always seen that.”

“I’m that obvious?”

“I bet Sora doesn’t know, he’s way too oblivious! You should just tell him. He’ll never figure it out on his own.”

“It’s—I can’t do that!” Riku sputters. “We share a _body._ If he says _no,_ he can’t get away or anything, and it’ll be awkward up until we find his real body. And awkward after that! No, no way.”

“That’s a good point,” Naminé agrees. “It’s nice you’re being so considerate. But, he’s…well, he’s also gone for you, you know?”

No, no he _doesn’t_ know. How does everyone _know_ these things? Where do they learn this stuff!?

Rikuto nods. “Completely taken. It’s actually kind of gross. Scratch that, _incredibly_ disgusting.”

“He won’t hold against you even if he does say no,” Naminé supports him with a gentle hand on his arm.

“I know, it’s just—we have bigger things to worry about right now.”

Rikuto grins. “C’mon, he loves all that mushy stuff, and I know you do—”

 _“He’s waking up, shush!”_ Riku snaps as he feels Sora’s heart slowly start sinking up and out of sleep. Great, now he has to find an excuse to why he’s on _fire._ This is so embarrassing.

The two of them snicker a little as they watch him fumble. His friends are seriously the worst.

* * *

When they say they try everything under the sun to recall their memories, they mean _everything._

They pick up every item they come across and thoroughly inspect it. Spoons, weapons, mugs, ancient artifacts, scrolls, blocks of cheese—each item is touched, spun, molded, and thought about to try and see if they can trigger _something._

Sora even licks a few objects in the beginning, but Riku calls him gross and keeps their tongue behind their teeth after the moldy fridge incident.

The only reaction they got from that was from a bag of ancient shark teeth that Naminé and Vanitas were trying to make a necklace out of. And even then it was useless—they just _blanked_ and had to be snapped out of a daze whenever they looked at them for too long, feeling trapped and angry.

Riku’s idea is meditation, as bored as it makes Sora. He digs and digs in their shared mindscape, tries to make sense of their situation, but the endeavors are fruitless.

 _This is a tough nut to crack_ , Sora says when he presses too hard at the memory-barrier in frustration and gets a splitting headache for his trouble. _Maybe brute force isn’t the way to go?_

“I can’t believe _you’re_ schooling me on that,” Riku teases.

_Blah, blah, blah! Go back to your yoga or whatever!_

They eat an absurd number of berries and drink a ton of coffee based on a research study Sora found that those foods apparently improve long-term memory. That was a lie; it just makes them jumpy, sick, and finally passed out at 3 in the afternoon on the balcony floor.

The one good thing is that they fall back into an exercise routine, which was _much_ needed. It’s a little slow at first, not as intense as what they used to do, but the first time Sora sticks a backflip perfectly in their body without a sweat is a day of celebration.

(Times like that is when Riku gets more and more anxious to get Sora his body back. He _misses_ seeing the brunet’s spikey hair and wide smile and casual posture and lithe muscles, how he talked with his mouth full at dinner time and the way he sang songs with all his heart, the way he jumped and fought and how warm he felt and looked and—

There he goes, pining again. _Don’t get caught,_ he reminds himself.)

They call Kairi. They call Lea. They call Ienzo, Leon, Xion, even the King, who is overjoyed to hear from them and eagerly pulls Donald and Goofy into the call. Sora gets so excited he nearly hits the end call button because their nose nearly smashes into it, that’s how close their face is pressed to the screen.

Riku might not be as excitable, but it’s clear to everyone he’s overjoyed to see the mouse again as well. Mickey’s been nothing but kind in return and offers them any help they need whenever they need it, which they gratefully accept.

Mostly, though, they go through the library. Books on magic, worlds, Keyblades, history, and cooking. On art, science, dance, and mythology. Anything and everything could be a hint, so that’s where they look. It’s not efficient but they have no other leads besides that.

Despite the tedium, Riku is—having a really nice time. He has fun. He has friends. Most importantly, he has _Sora._

 _I love you, I love you,_ he privately thinks to himself more often than not.

He must not hide it as good as he thinks, because Sora soaks up the affection like a sponge even if he’s oblivious to the underlying meaning.

* * *

“Hey, check this out!” Ventus calls out. He walks into the kitchens, nearly getting a face full of batter for the trouble. “ _Hey—”_

“Sorry, sorry, I flicked the spoon—Riku, quit mixing so hard, you’re—” Riku’s face has a flour smudge on his nose and a wide smile that’s all Sora’s as the whisk in his hand spins like mad.

“Don’t over beat it! That’s what ruined our last batch,” Rikuto warns, pouring over a recipe card. It’s a rainy day stuck inside, and Rikuto had to convince Sora-Riku that no, getting shocked by lighting outside was _not_ an effective method of memory recalling, and that they should bake with them to avoid thinking about it too hard.

Hence, they’re making cookies.

“That was from the entire bottle of vanilla, not the _spoon,_ ” Vanitas says. He keeps shuffling closer to the kitchen even as he tries to play aloof.

“It was so bitter,” Naminé shudders.

“ _Guys_ , pay attention, I think I had a breakthrough!”

Sora wipes his hands on his apron. “Ooh, what is it?” Their eyes are near-permanently two blue-green hues, but the voices are still unique and easy to identify. Just by looking at them, though—it’s kind of hard to tell who’s who.

Holding up an open book, he points at a highlighted paragraph. “Look at this!”

“’Legends and Fables from the Lanes Between’?” Naminé reads off the cover, looking interested.

“I knew you reminded me about something, so I started backtracking through everything I ever read here. Here, tell me this doesn’t sound familiar.” Clearing his throat, Ventus reads:

_“‘—it was at this point the wielder had to make a choice with her love slowly fading away in her arms, body beyond repair and soul between worlds. The choice was not a choice at all. She would save her at any cost. The ability was ancient, and dangerous, as her Master had warned, but now it would be her saving grace. Her strength of heart was her guiding light, and a brilliant power shone from her as she plucked her heart from the resting station far, far—and then, together, for the barest brush of a moment’_

_“‘The wielder was willing to give up everything for her precious fading heart, but her love resisted, and in turn pulled her from the edge like she had for her, the ultimate sacrifice from each side. The wielder’s heart became the soul, the grounded force that drives their will, and her love was the heart, the passion of life weaved into their very existence. As two, they were a force most powerful, most driven, most compassionate’—_ and then it gets really mushy after this for a while, until _—'Over time, they became as one, their heart, body, and soul united in perfect harmony.’”_

Complete silence. Ventus glances up and finds everyone flicking their heads back and forth between the book and the subject at hand, who stands with wide eyes.

“…well, uh, that was—targeted,” Sora laughs, scratching the back of his neck. “Can I see that?”

Ventus hands it over, watching as Sora’s eyes scan the page eagerly, flecks of green indicating that Riku is doing the same.

“What ability is it talking about?” Naminé wonders. “Dangerous…?”

“Clearly. Look at them, they nearly lost _both_ their hearts trying to get each other back,” Rikuto says. The Sora-Riku in question aren’t listening, now mouthing words under their breath as they read.

“I’ve never heard of anything like that. What’s it supposed to do, just, bring hearts back from the dead?”

“It says its old.”

“I read a little further,” Ventus says. “They mention it again. It apparently brings hearts back from the brink if their body was completely lost. I guess this is a time before replicas.”

Vanitas points to the dust on the cover. “This was written like, a thousand years ago, of course it’s before then.”

“I’m just covering the bases! But, the reason it’s never used is because most hearts move on fast unless something anchors them down, and if it _does_ linger, it takes a very strong heart to actually have the power to pull that heart back,” Ventus says with a wide smile. “Like what Sora did for me!”

“So, if neither heart is strong enough…” Rikuto realizes.

“The body could be damaged, or the hearts, or soul, or—something can go wrong. The book wasn’t really specific…”

Tapping the flour bag with a spoon, Naminé thinks. “Maybe that explains how Riku found Sora. He pulled him back using that ability.”

“And when Sora did the same— _somehow_ —they both came back?”

“Doesn’t explain why they thought Riku was up and gone up until a week or so ago,” Vanitas states.

“I thought they were still healing. If both their hearts were damaged, it would take time for them to fully come back, wouldn’t it?”

“Probably. I mean, Riku’s literally only half a heart right now. Sora’s is made of metaphysical duct tape.”

“How the fuck are they still alive,” Vanitas rants, asking the burning question everyone still wonders about to this day. “And how did he even know about the ability?” Vanitas continues. “Riku’s just a guy. I mean, he’s a wielder or whatever, but we’ve already established that Sora is the weird one. What’s it about _his_ heart too that’s oh-so-special—”

“My dream eater link,” Riku cuts in, and all eyes turn to him. His gaze is still focused intently on the book. “I don’t—remember, what I did, or how, but I know my link brought me to Sora.”

Then his gaze turns soft into Sora. “And my power of waking probably helped too. In the story, they both gave themselves up to save each other…maybe that’s what caused it, that’s what it _needed_ to use those abilities. I…you were going to drown, I felt you—”

Ventus is shell-shocked as suddenly, Sora’s gaze changes again—still his, still awake, but lonely and scared and worried. He’s never seen him look like that, not ever, with such anguish…

The book nearly falls into the batter as he presses their hands to his head. “You tried to leave me behind, I couldn’t—you’re my precious person, that— _thing,_ tried to take you away, keep you from me—sad, why were you so sad, you—belong with me, you—never—ever let go— _please—_ ”

Hyperventilating breaks them out of everyone’s stupor as he— _they_ start to panic. What’s going on? It’s like they’re speaking layered over each other, each sentence with hints of their voices yet not completely, so confused, so _lost._

Instantly, Ventus is there, slipping an arm around their shoulders and bringing them to the ground. They need to calm down before they pass out. The emotion is so loud and overwhelming it’s _stifling._

“It’s okay, you’re okay…”

Riku’s body looks up with tears in his eyes, but it’s not Riku he sees, or Sora. It’s—Ventus doesn’t _know_ which one it is, and all he can do is hug him tighter to try and wipe that anguish off his face.

 _“I can’t remember!”_ he shouts with two voices. “I need to keep him safe, I need to know. Something—something tried to _split us apart.”_

“Who?” Rikuto asks, and they gesture wildly, brown-silver hair fanning all around them.

“Had to—can’t return—deal— _us,_ who—” Then, abruptly, they calm, Ventus grip squeezing tighter as they blink slowly. “Ugh…my head…” Ventus still has _no idea_ who’s talking. Sora? Riku? It’s all blending together.

A thin trickle of blood runs down their lip. Ventus wipes it away with a sleeve. “Get Aqua,” he demands to the group hovering above him worriedly. Surprisingly, it’s Vanitas first out the door, and Rikuto follows in the next blink. Naminé stays and goes to grab a glass.

What _happened?_ They were…starting to remember, weren’t they? That’s what that was. Maybe the book hit a little too close to home.

“Why’m I on the ground?” Sora asks muzzily, and it’s Sora, _clearly_ Sora’s voice, and Ventus is so relieved he could cry.

“You don’t remember…?” Naminé hesitates.

Their brow furrows, clearly Riku with his teal-green gaze. “The legend…we were reading it and then…” Riku pauses. “Ow,” Sora winces as he rubs his head.

“I think you were…trying to remember?” Ventus says, and their eyes snap to him. “You kept talking over each other.”

“Oh…again?” _Again?_ How often does this happen!?

Though…it’s true that’s been happening more and more often. He didn’t think about it much though because it seemed so _natural_ to them.

One thing’s clear—whatever memories they’re trying to recall, they’re volatile to say the least. On top of the memories, it’s clear _something_ drastic is happening within themselves, and it’s progressing.

Ventus stares into Sora’s confused eyes, and worries. He’s always been grateful to Sora, and always wants to return the favor for being such a great friend. They’re practically brothers at this point. But…how can he protect him from this? Ventus can fight off monsters and shadows like they’re nothing, sooth worries and calm hearts, but what can he do _here_ in this situation?

As he keeps his arm around them, worrying, his eyes pass over the book sprawled on the tile, the last line jumping out at him.

Naminé gives him a look as she crouches beside him with a glass of water, pursuing her lips as she reads it too. Ventus nods back.

Whatever is wrong, they might be on a time limit to solve it, now. Because if the past twenty minutes was any indication, is that things are changing, faster than Ventus can protect Sora from it or the Land of Departure can slow it.

If Sora doesn’t find his body soon…there might not be anything left to put back in it.

_'Over time, they became as one, their heart, body, and soul united in perfect harmony.’_

* * *

After Aqua checks up on him, Sora’s already feeling better. That glass of water did wonders on calming him down, along with the support of his friends.

A full-blown panic attack. Neither of them had had one of those in a while.

Ventus is hovering, but Sora gives him and smile and reassures him that everything’s okay. Riku can tell that’s not the whole truth, but that’s okay—Sora’s already promised him that he can be as much of a worrywart as he wants once they go to bed.

The headache is pounding, and he’s frustrated. So close. They were _so close_ to breaking that barrier of memories before they crashed again. And once again, _nothing._

He can’t even remember what he _tried_ to remember! It was—sadness, and fear, and frustration and anger—

 _We need to keep you safe,_ Riku insists. From Riku’s side, it’s been a swirling cocktail of _paranoia_ and _fear._ Nothing Sora does soothes it, and he’s _trying._

The rest of the day is a lost cause, and it’s such a disappointment—he was really looking forward to making those cookies with everyone…

Lying in bed, Sora bundles them up in blankets, and grasps their upper arms with each of their hands. Gods. He wishes he could give Riku a hug. One of his super nice, awesome, warm patented Riku hugs that makes anyone feel better.

“I’m here. I’m sorry,” Riku whispers to him, and a—ah, there, a mock-hug wrapping around his heart, and—Sora lets out a sigh. That’s just as good.

“…they were like us,” Sora mutters. “Those two in the book. ‘At any cost’—that’s practically our catchphrase at this point.”

“It was very personal. It was…” _enlightening—tragic, joyful—_

_Is that us? Will that be us?_

“You’re not allowed to leave me, Riku,” Sora mumbles, pressing his face in the pillow and willing Riku’s face to mind, with the soft worry in his brows and the nice half-smile he loves. “I won’t let you.”

“I wouldn’t ever, Sora, not ever.” _Love, trust, forever—each own, each together._

“I feel like you tried to.”

“You’ll always come back for me. I know that now.” _Even though you shouldn’t, you should forget about me, leave me behind—I did this for you—_

“Don’t you say that. Don’t—” Sora sends his own thoughts; thunderclouds and boa constrictors and sunny beaches, anger and keeping and peace.

“I’m sorry, sorry…”

They stick in a feedback loop of just— _feeling_ , for a while, until their hearts slow and calm, comforted in each other’s presence, and they finally feel brave enough to laugh a little without threat of panic. The last of the paranoia fades away, the most persistent emotion.

Now he just feels _so sleepy._ Their thumb brushes back and forth on their arm; Riku, soothing.

The strength of those two hearts in that story was so powerful it brought them both back, together. That’s—wow. A smiles spreads over his face as he remembers reading that part over and over again, and he knows Riku did too.

Riku is thinking about the future, though. “What if we do…stop being separate?” Riku says, hesitant, like he isn’t in Sora’s head 24/7 and doesn’t know the answer.

It’s not that Riku’s scared of that possibility. Sora feels how he isn’t. It’s the opposite—he’s almost excited for it, but too afraid of losing Sora.

“Then we’ll be together. We won’t lose ourselves. I’ll make sure of it. We’ll just be a little different, yeah?”

Pure, content bliss washes in waves. _Yeah…yeah, we’ll be okay._

“Good night, Sora.”

“Night, Riku.” And privately, just before he drifts off, a quiet, fond. _Love you…_

That night he dreams of falling in love. He sees Riku there but can’t tell if it’s actually him or a figment of his mind. It’s most likely him, though. You can’t fake _pink eyes,_ not even Sora’s subconscious. And it is _adorable!_

It’s a very nice dream.

They bully their way into sparring the next day—well, Sora bullies, because Riku keeps poking him to stay off their feet and relax but no way, he’s antsy and amped up now. Their leg keeps jigging and it’s not him doing it.

“One spar wouldn’t hurt!” He wheedles, knowing Riku relents if he uses just the right tone.

Predictably, he sighs in defeat, but there’s a pep in their step as they head to the training grounds. He’s just as excited as Sora is.

It might have been, in hindsight, a bad idea. But—well, let’s just say they got their wish.

Vanitas is commonly known as a bit of an asshole by many. He loves to push buttons, and he pushes them hard. So when they spar, Vanitas likes to taunt.

“Is that really all you’ve got?” Vanitas mocks as Sora and Riku adjust to the battle. Switching techniques with their Keyblades freaking out? Is a little difficult.

“Just warming up!” Riku fires off back and sends a Dark Firaga he had brewing into Vanitas’ smug face.

Luckily, in case it gets out of hand—which, Aqua emphasized with a warning look, it _shouldn’t_ —Aqua and Terra watch over while the other three wait their turn and egg them on.

The only reason they fought Vanitas first of all people is because he was, once again, _a bit of an asshole_ at breakfast. Obviously they have to settle this with a spar now.

Welp, if they can’t take the heat, then…uh, something about a frying pan?

It’s Riku’s fault. Sora’s competitive, sure, but Riku? Even though he’s mellowed out over the years, he’s never lost that drive. So he’s taking the front at first until they can back away and switch again.

Vanitas slides through the air effortlessly, trying to overwhelm him with fast-paced attacks. Catching this, Sora considers their position.

Their teamwork has already only better and smoother with only a few days of practice. It’s not seamless but it’s definitely great. He feels confident when he says to Riku, _Anchor yourself in the dirt, hit him hard!_

“Anchor—” a wave of—something rattles through their mind, what the heck. Riku runs on instinct, though, and takes his advice. When Vanitas dashes in for a hit with a yell, he plunges his Keyblade in the dirt and swings around it to kick in his chest.

Uproar from the peanut gallery makes Vanitas grits his teeth from where he’s slid to the other side of the field. Sora switches in— _Riku, you okay? You froze—_ and gives Vanitas a cocky grin, holding Braveheart aloft.

“Hah, had to get your boyfriend to fight for you, huh? Coward!”

That’s—Sora blushes a little. “What, you can’t handle it? Getting soft?”

“I just don’t want to deal with Ventus crying when I break you into little pieces again.”

 _Broken…_ Riku whispers, seemingly confused. Sora sends comfort vibes, now getting a little worried. _That’s not true._

 _We’re just teasing,_ Sora soothes, which is weird that he has to because Riku usually loves the sarcastic back and forth.

A bubble starts forming in his head.

“I don’t know, seems like you’re the one who’s going to end up crying when I pummel you—”

“In your dreams!”

“Why don’t you come over here and prove it! I bet I can knock you out in two minutes flat!”

Vanitas smile is dark and sharp. “I’ll take that deal.” Suddenly, he’s above him, and when he smashes a wave of dark energy into the earth, the fight continues.

Sora loses himself in the exhilarating rush, the cheers from the crowd when they land a good hit, and—

The bubble—grows. Sora’s starting to realize that’s not normal.

 _Riku, Riku? What’s wrong?_ Sora asks, dodging a spear attack.

“I made a deal,” their lips move, whisper soft Riku’s voice.

Knocking Vanitas back, Sora pulls away to gain distance. “What are you talking—” and then Sora feels it.

The bubble boundary shimmers like a heat wave. He sees inside—himself, frightened, being held _comfortable, safe, warm_ but his most favorite person is _scared, scared, worried,_ and he worries right back—he tries to leave, tries to pull away, no, no, _not again—_

_(“A deal! A deal!”)_

Why is this so familiar? _Where has he heard this!?_

Sora barely manages to duck from the Firaga coming his way, but is tripped by the leg sweep. Rolling, he twists his way back up as Vanitas gloats, and clutches his hair as his Keyblade wavers.

“You’re almost out of time,” Vanitas taunts. “Where’s the fight I was promised? The great Hero of Light can’t keep up—"

Who’s feeling this? Riku, or him? _Both?_

The streak of purple in Vanitas hair is starting to wash out; it’s lavender-bright in the morning sunlight, and their gazes are stuck fast on it.

_(“This heart cannot return.”_

_“I’ll keep you safe.”_

_“So tired, so hurt.”)_

It grows, and grows, and _grows—_

“Oh,” Sora says, Riku says, rather mildly. “I remember now.”

When Vanitas’ strikes, they can’t even dodge. The blinding light rushing through their head burns, and shines, bright, overwhelming _—_ to black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I always kind of saw Sora of having the closest connection with Ventus. Not saying he cares for the others any less, but I like to headcanon the two of them just understanding each other better and being the closest out of the Heart Hotel gang. 
> 
> Also, I didn't say this before, but I'm calling Riku Replica Rikuto based off of...I think it was greeneggs101 who pioneered it? I really liked the name haha and I love their writing.
> 
> I'm going to respond to more comments if I can! I didn't before because I didn't know what to say, and like Sora in this story I avoided it until it felt like too late. I'm sorry about that! I love you all very much <3 know that I read them all and cherished every bit of them. I love rereading all the comments I get on all my stories!!


	9. The Heart Grows Fond

_He watches the heart float softly downwards with bated breath. The world around him slides out of focus. All he’s ever wanted, all he’s ever cared about, is…_

_“Sora,” he whispers for the first time since he entered this dark place._

_Just like that, the heart floats to him, and with two palms outstretched he watches as it settles in his grasp, warm and so real and—and—he’s_ here!

_The sounds that were slightly muddled before are clear. Every note, every feeling—he knows it all, sees and hears and tastes it as if it were his own. His hands shake._

_It’s so_ beautiful _. Pressing his face against the glow, he listens to the coos, the happy cries from the luminescent heart, and lets himself smile—really, truly smile, watery and small but he’s never been happier than he is now._

_A movement off to the side reminds him of where he’s at, and the moment breaks. Tugging the heart behind him he glares down the creature that stares at him with too many eyes, an eerie glint in them._

_“You’ll let us leave. Now.”_

_“Not smart. You will hurt it.”_

_He grits his teeth. “Never.”_

_It’s fins shiver like a rattlesnake tail. “You are blinded by your attachment. Look closer.”_

_Reluctantly, he drags his eyes away from the coiled being to look at Sora’s heart. And…oh._

_“What…” he says. He’s all cracked; instead of smooth facets, it’s rough and jagged, a mishmash of heart-shaped piecemeal instead of a coherent whole. All his breath leaves him in a miserable woosh._

_But…how could…if Sora wasn’t okay, if he was this hurt…a cold wave of nausea runs up his throat, makes him sway._

_“You see?” the creature huffs. “I fixed it, yes. But it is so weak, so fragile, so broken. It will burn away if it runs to your realm.”_

_As much as he wants to deny it, to scream and cry and—and beg for that not to be true, he knows it is. He runs a hand down the side of the heart, listening to it cheer a little under his ministrations._

_Sora can never go back._

_But…neither can he without him._

_The creature slithers forward, body encircling their forms in a loose circle. “It does not belong there. It belongs here, where I keep stars safe. Hearts are like stars, are they not? They shine so brightly, for so long, until they burn out.” It stares wistfully into the black. “I hate when stars burn away. Beauty should be forever.”_

_He tightens his clammy hands on the heart, the beats of_ what’s wrong what’s wrong _echoing faintly from the glowing prism. If Sora goes, he’ll destroy him. If Sora stays, it’ll destroy_ him.

_He’s never been good with impossible choices. That was Sora’s way of life—worming his way out of the impossible even when hope was lost._

_What, then? What good is he as a protector then, if he can’t even do this one simple thing?_

_He doesn’t grace the being with a response, but it seems content to listen to the sound of its own voice. “You could stay too. You are broken, are you not? So tired, so hurt. I can taste it.” It’s forked tongue flickers in the stale air. “With you, this heart will never be hurt. You fix it all! And I fix you. I keep you safe.”_

_That’s…not any better. He’s not going to leave Sora or him in the fins of…whatever this so called ‘mother’ is. Intrusively, he recalls of Maleficent grasping his shoulder with a faux-gentle look, and cringes inwardly; this creature is hardly different than her, but with far more animalistic instincts that make his hair stand on edge._

_“That’s not an option,” he says firmly._

_Its face lowers into what looks like an almost-pout, if a sea dragon could do such a thing. “You have no choice! I will not let that star go, and with no form it will suffer and shatter and shake apart on those dirt lands you call safety. No choice!”_

_“You trap hearts here like cereal box prizes. How is that any better?”_

_“I. Keep. Safe.” It growls. “No hurt. No fear. With no I, they are anchor-less, drifting, until they burn.”_

_Anchorless. If what it’s saying is true, that these are hearts that lost their body and somehow become completely untethered from the world…_

_“What if the heart had an anchor?” he demands. “Is that all that’s holding it back?”_

_“I am the anchor! I am a mother!”_

_“I’m_ asking _if it had a body.”_

_“…poss-ble. Body is anchor. Hearts like anchors. Hearts like safety. All body destroyed, though. Only heart remains!”_

_“Not all of them,” he says with a smile. “What about mine?”_

_“You have a body, yes,” it chitters. “I do not understand your words.”_

_Now that he has the idea, it won’t leave. “Let’s make another deal.”_

_“…inter-esting.”_

_“I’ll stay here with you,” he says, words slicing his tongue apart with every syllable. “I’ll let you…mother me and fix everything wrong in my heart. You’ll have something new to cherish. In return, you give this heart my body, and you let him go home.”_

_Squawking, its fins flare, teeth flashing red in the glow of the heart. “Imposs-ble! You cannot! That is not—augh!?”_

_“You don’t have a choice. If you don’t, I’ll leave and take him with me, no matter the consequences. Then you’ll have nothing.” It’s a bluff. It’s a terrible bluff; he couldn’t hurt Sora if he tried, and this is from a guy who_ has _tried before. Multiple times, regrettably._

_He’s banking on the fact that this creature probably doesn’t know what a bluff is, though, or how bad his poker face actually is. It doesn’t seem like the type of monster to know exactly how humans work or how good they are at playing card games._

_It stops, narrows all its eyes at him, so he wheedles one last time to seal the deal. “This heart’s already healed. But me? You said I was interesting. I was—am—broken. It’s a fair trade. You don’t lose anything.”_

_“I do not understand,” it says. “Why do this?”_

_His smile is bittersweet and true. “Because I love him.”_

_The creature seems torn by this. “Love…I still do not understand.”_

Of course you wouldn’t _, he thinks,_ because creatures that keep hearts as pseudo-children couldn’t understand a single damn aspect of it.

 _Sora is still calling for him where he’s pressed to his side, peels of worry and sadness and—and he_ can’t _say anything back, because then the heart will know what he’s planning._

_He can’t explain to him there’s no other way. Sora won’t understand; he’ll try to save him even if it risks his own life again. He made a promise to bring Sora back safe, and that takes priority over everything._

Sorry, Kairi…I don’t think I can keep my promise to you…

_And it will kill him to leave Sora behind. It will be a slow, painful burn, because he knows the second he gives up his heart here, that will be the last time he ever sees Sora again._

_No more Destiny Islands. No more friends. No more castles and princesses and black coats. No more Light, or Darkness._

_No more Sora._

_“But you are so interesting…so very interesting, so very broken…yess. Your form is strong, it may hold…” It makes a loud hissing noise. “I like funny human trades!”_

_He opens his eyes, eyes alight with determination, even if his inner self mourns and aches and_ burns _._

_Sora needs home more than he needs him. So Sora will leave, and he will stay._

_“Do we have a deal?” he holds out the hand not clutching the heart with all his strength._

_It seems confused but lets a fleshy ribbon gingerly shake hands, fascinated by the action._

_“A deal! A deal!”_

_Many rows of teeth flash in the blood-red light as it grins sharply, lavender-purple eyes glowing in the dark. “It will not hurt.”_

* * *

They come to at the same time, blinking their eyes down at the tufts of grass pushing up from the dirt. Amazingly, they’re still standing. He…Sora, yeah, that’s him, he’s still up front—blinks slowly.

“—it was a spar, Aqua, of course they were going to get hurt—”

“But you know he’s like that, you should have been more careful—”

“I wasn’t going to humiliate them by taking it _easy_. Look, they’re still up!”

“Sora? Riku?” Ven’s voice. There’s a warm hand on his arm. “You with us?”

Yes. No. He’s just been hit with a hammer of info-dump and boy is he _confused._ What year is it again? Is it still Tuesday?

His lips unstick without command and—there he is, that warm heart, recovering from shock right alongside him. “Yeah. Yes,” Sora says for them both, slowly. Everything moves slowly. Like that worm in the grass by his sneaker. Look at her go!

He wants—he really wants Riku right now. He wants to hold him like he held that half-heart, all he could hold on to but it was Riku through-and-through. Here now, in their chest—he’s _here._

After he—

“I can’t believe you did that,” Sora accuses to the ground. The others may be weirded out by him speaking to thin air, but Sora’s not there, not really. He’s in their mind, staring at the physical manifestation of Riku’s heart, in how he looked the last time they were together. It’s getting easier and easier to create forms in their shared mind to give themselves the illusion of talking face to face even if in reality it’s just their hearts.

“I—it was the only way,” Riku says, and he doesn’t regret it, Sora feels that, but he _is_ upset that it hurt Sora so much.

Sora grits his teeth. Not that he did it, but that he got caught! Doesn’t he get it yet? Doesn’t he get that Sora would do anything for him too? That he’d rather die than see him hurt?

Emotions are raw, memories scraped bare; there’s probably more blood running down their lip too, but he could care less about any of that right now.

Riku _has to know._

“You can’t just go around _trading yourself_ for snakes that might also be demigods!” Sora rants. “Who does that?”

“People that love you very much!” Riku fires off right back, getting swept up in the heat, heart yelling, _like me, like me most of all._

“How could you trust it—what if it went back on its word and tore your heart right out? You would have been cornered!”

“I had no choice! There was no other way, I thought it was going to kill you. I’m not going to stand idly by and just let that happen.”

“You should have turned around and _left_ —” _hypocrite, much?_ Sora’s own consciousness betrays him. _Do as I say, not as I do._ “I made up my mind. I—I did this in the first place so you could live your own life! And I messed up, so I paid the price! That should have been the end of it.”

“I couldn’t fight it. I couldn’t leave you. I don’t care about prices or consequences, I care about _you_ and that’s it. Out there? In that—that awful realm? I just wanted you.”

In this space of their own creation, Sora can see everything in the deepest pits of Riku’s soul. How deep his devotion runs. How _much_ he feels for Sora. All the time, unwavering, unbending loyalty and love, how can Sora deserve all this affection—

And Sora is peeled apart just as raw, the ginger root of his heart peeling back to expose his pain-insecurity-love-fear-care-valor all there, no more hiding. _The truth._

Riku’s ire fades into softness as quickly as it rose. “Please, Sora, I—you _know me._ I couldn’t leave you behind just as much as you couldn’t leave me either,” Riku pleads, mind flashing with images of what happened and analyzing every bit. “See? We’re both here, same exact spot, because we just can’t let each other go.”

 _Just like the story,_ Sora thinks. He feels like he’s strapped to a sled, picking up speed as it slides down to a dawning pit of realization.

Oh.

_Oh._

“We—are _so bad at this!”_ Sora says, and then laughs, and then laughs and laughs until tears are running down his not-real face, probably manifesting on their real shared one too, and he doesn’t know if it’s his or Riku’s but—oh, gods, he can’t stop. “I got kidnapped by a _lizard!”_

Riku sounds just as incredulous. “I _listened_ to that lizard. That talked. What was I thinking?”

“You weren’t! Your brain was all protective mode, there was no room for braincells—”

“Hypocrite, much? I go all that way to make a _heroic sacrifice_ and you worm your way in so you magically get glued to my heart—"

“—and now we’re just keeping each other safe, just like that thing wanted to do, creepy old weirdo. But—you’re a million times better for me than anything that thing ever did.”

“Well—” Riku tugs on their bond, and _oh,_ that hits differently now— “Kind of proves itself.” He sounds and looks smug, and happy, and less upset and more like _we fucking cheated the game to stay together, take that haters_ and Sora wants to kiss his face stupid but he can’t because he’s the one _controlling_ the physical lips right now in their shared body.

So he settles for imagining the kiss, their heart forms meeting, and Riku just goes wide with shock like Sora knew he would, the _dope,_ and it’s going great, _fantastic_ actually, can they keep doing this forever and ever—

“Can you guys like, talk to us now? What the hell is going on!?” Vanitas bursts out so loudly it knocks them right out of their mindscape.

Riku falls in the front first, opening their eyes and wiping at their lips with a shocked look, even though they both know there’s no evidence _there,_ not when Sora imprinted it on his very heart. “Buh—wuh?”

 _Very elegant,_ Sora teases.

 _We’re—we—_ He’s still all shell-shocked, like he totally didn’t expect that, and maybe he didn’t—Riku’s kind of oblivious sometimes.

But like, so is Sora. They even out.

_We’ll talk about this later. Aqua looks ready to cart us to the hospital again and I think Vanitas might blow a gasket._

They look up, Sora’s wide smile on Riku’s fine features, hair all crazy and tangled. They probably look seven kinds of messed up and off their rockers but _holy snap!_ “We remember _everything!”_

* * *

“So that thing you made a deal with…you say it has the rest of Riku’s heart?” Terra says skeptically.

“Exactly,” Sora says from where he’s been pacing back and forth. “I’d bet all my munny that’s what’s been stalking us, too!”

“I thought those were Heartless?” Ventus asks.

“Heartless can be controlled. That’s why they were so powerful, because it has a leader telling them what to do.” Riku places down the pencil he’s been tapping on their chin, ignoring Sora’s _hey!_ at losing the rhythm.

“Heartless are dumber than a sack of bricks,” Rikuto agrees. “What do they want with you, again?”

Riku looks at the corkboard him and Sora have been obsessing over as they explain it all to the group. For some reason, there’s this nervous energy zipping through his veins. It’s probably the leftover adrenaline rush from remembering and he should calm down, but with Sora bouncing off the walls it’s hard to not get swept up in it.

Sora was right to be angry at him from the very beginning. He’s the one that caused this whole mess in the beginning. Going to the Realm of Darkness, making untrustworthy deals, risking their lives—that’s all on him.

(He doesn’t regret it, though. He will _never_ regret saving Sora).

But now Riku’s a bit pissed off too. That creature had no right to…to _keep_ Sora like a toy. And now it’s coming back for more?

He is _not_ going to let that happen. Darkness and light be damned, if it thinks they’re an easy target, it’s got another thing coming for them.

Riku points to a red string line connecting a crude heart drawing and a worm plushie. “It’s greedy. It likes keeping hearts and apparently, we were something of a delicacy to it—”

“As creepy as that sounds,” Sora winces.

“So it’s going back on the deal to steal us back. It decided it liked us too much to let us go.”

“Wasn’t your heart enough?” Naminé says. “You already gave it some. I mean, why would it risk fighting you again?”

Riku starts to reply, but then Sora breaks in, biting their lip with uncharacteristic doubt. “Actually, the deal was for Riku’s _whole_ heart…I was the one who went back on it.”

Ah. Right, Riku remembers getting a backwash of memory from Sora when he was captured by the creature, aching and lonely. It was spotty and vague because of the way hearts store memories abstractly. Talking with the “mother” is as clear as day in his head because he had a whole heart, body, and soul to go with it at the time, yet Sora’s own is all muddled.

But Sora probably remembers his own memories better because it was still his own heart that experienced it during the “transfer” between them. No matter how much Riku knows him, he’s still experiencing it second-hand.

This is news to him.

At Riku’s pause, Sora squirms. “I did it unconsciously. I was just a heart acting on what I wanted most! That’s why I ran when I first felt you, and—sang when you were close. I felt you trying to leave and I just held on because my heart wanted you.”

So, the entire reason he’s still here, even a little bit, is because of Sora?

Unexpectedly, Riku bursts out laughing.

 _Ack, what did I say!?_ Sora squawks.

“I was right!” Riku smiles. “You were my guardian angel. There wasn’t a doubt in my mind. The only reason I’m here is because of you!”

 _Oh you were_ happy, _you—ohhhh._ Sora hops around in his mind, lively and jubilant. _Well, I’m just repaying the favor, Mr. Dream Eater! So, we’re even!_

Riku misses the glances everyone gives each other at the way he twirls a red string around their hands and smiles at Sora’s words. Even Rikuto’s over-exaggerated grossed-out gagging isn’t enough to break him out of it until Aqua speaks up.

Aqua has been listening intently this whole time, and she points to the mess of black squiggles with purple dots at the end of a line. “So, these Heartless. They’re servants of this…creature?”

“Most likely. It’s trying to get our hearts for going back on the deal. What better creature to do that than the ones that would kill for them?”

“This is insane. If it’s so old and ancient, why has no one heard of this thing? What if this is all some freaky hallucination of yours from being stuck together so long?” Vanitas says.

“How can you explain away the Heartless, then? The way they’ve been following us? It makes sense, even if it’s a little weird.”

“It’s the only lead we’ve got,” Sora says with determination sparkling in his very soul. “I’m not going to leave Riku like this a moment longer.” He points to the paper slip circled twice, their most likely list of locations. “We’re going to find it before it finds us.”

Aqua looks resigned. “The Realm of Darkness is not so easy to get into these days. We already risked going in there once, and that was with help. With you guys as you are—” she pursues her lips and doesn’t have to say anything else.

No doubt, they’re not at full capacity. With their fighting style so out of sync it’s a miracle they managed to fight off the enemies at the Gardens and left in once piece. They really have to work on that first and foremost.

It’s been a sticking point for Riku. They’re not strong enough, _Riku’s_ not strong enough as much as he hates to admit it, and he has to keep Sora safe.

But they’re getting impatient. The longer that creature is out there, the longer they're in danger.

They have to find a way to get to that creature, grab his half, and leave without getting into trouble—which, knowing their luck, will not go their way.

And yes, Riku’s already offered to abandon the mission for his heart—he doesn’t need it, not all the way, he’s fine as he is as long as he has Sora. But Sora absolutely refuses to listen to that though. He’s as stubborn as he is; nothing will stop him from reaching his personal goal of healing Riku.

The same could be said for Riku, really. He promised to heal Sora’s body. But Sora’s body…

That creature _said_ it was destroyed. Completely. That’s the whole reason Riku offered his own in the first place. But what if it was lying? Riku couldn’t confront it then because Sora’s heart was on the line. But Sora’s under his protection now, though, so when he faces that creature again he can press it for answers with the full force of his anger.

(There’s a little voice in the back of his head—what if it _wasn’t_ lying? Why would it lie? It wouldn’t gain anything from that, and it’s clearly a selfish creature that wants only its own desires, even if it _did_ help Sora in the end because it desired Riku’s broken heart just that much more.

He shuts that voice up. He promised to bring back Sora. _All_ of Sora. And nothing’s going to get in his way from doing that!).

So, the plan: get Riku’s heart, Sora’s body _(if available—god he still hopes it’s somewhere out there, he can’t break any more promises to Sora—)_ , and then find a way to get rid of the creature and/or stop it from finding them ever again. Easy.

“That’s why we need your help,” Sora says. He points to the practice Keyblade taped to the board and covered in string. “We need to get stronger so we can actually face this guy without getting our teeth kicked in. What better place to learn than where all the greatest Masters in history came to train?”

Pointedly, he spreads his arms to motion to the group. Technically Aqua’s the only official Master here besides Riku, but really at this point Terra’s up there right alongside her. Ventus is climbing up steadily, and even though the other three just started they definitely have tricks they can teach them, if the sparring match (before it went wrong) was any indication.

Aqua sits a little straighter, a steely look entering her eyes even as she looks pleased. “Don’t think I don’t know what you’re doing. Compliments will not be my deciding factor.”

“It always works on you two,” Ventus jokes. His three compatriots nod to each other in agreement.

“My priority is to keep you _safe_. If I train you, I’m worried you’ll throw yourselves back into the line of fire,” Aqua urges, a little torn. Then, she stands straighter, talking to herself. “But I know we’re the best ones to train you to keep you _out_ of danger. Without giving you the means to defend yourselves, I’ll be doing you a disservice.”

“You’re right. This monster will hunt them regardless. Isn’t this why we’re rebuilding the Land of Departure in the first place? To train people for these exact scenarios?” Terra supports.

“I know. I know. I just can’t help but worry…” Aqua says, but she’s already convinced. There’s a fire in the tilt of her brows and a calculating look in her gaze that means there’s a million and one plans running through her mind.

Finally, after a minute, she meets their gaze. “I have a condition.” At their nod, she continues. “Stay out of the Realm of Darkness unless absolutely necessary. Find any other way to track it down or visit every world this side of the galaxy. Unless you have a clear shot to it, do not go there.”

Honestly, that was going to be their first stop once they trained up. That puts a damper in their plans. But…Riku draws up the memory of the creature. If they go to the Realm of Darkness directly, no matter how strong they are, they will be fighting on its home turf among seas of Heartless.

Riku’s heart and Sora’s body could be stashed away in another world for all they know. To fight through all that for no reward? A waste of time, energy, and their lives.

So Riku nods readily at that. “Agreed. We’ll track it down and make a plan to fight it once we find where it’s hiding.”

“What if you lured it out?” Terra suggests. At their looks, he stands up and points to the worm plushie acting as their bad guy. “Instead of searching for it, fighting it on its terms, you find it and then draw it to a place _you’re_ most comfortable fighting at.”

“That’s a good idea!” Naminé encourages.

“Then maybe you could try to push for answers once you have the upper hand,” Rikuto nods.

“Or just kill it,” Vanitas mutters.

“And we’ll be with you every step of the way!” Ventus says with a smile.

Riku glances around the room, at Aqua and Terra drawing up training schedules, at their friends making plans on how to help them. Warmth spreads through their shared chest.

 _We have some pretty awesome friends, don’t we Riku?_ Sora observes. His heart radiates the sun.

Riku smiles and adds them to the plan attached at the very top of the corkboard. “We sure do.”

* * *

Training is hard. Nobody was ever going to go easy on them, that would be unhelpful and insulting, but _man_ it’s something else to undergo the grueling levels of Master-level training Aqua sets up for them. Yen Sid must have been going easy on them or something because compared to this? That first test was _nothing._

Yes, that’s including the whole Organization 13 debacle.

Or maybe they’re just still recovering. Getting used to each other on the battlefield all over again isn’t a new concept, but it becomes a difficult challenge when you both share the same feet.

Aqua teaches them better magic control and a few grand spells once they regain a foothold on the basics. Terra drills them in every type of combative style known to man to find the right balance for them.

Ventus trains with them often and shows them how to be more mobile, to move with fast, fluid energy to dodge any attack. Naminé usually watches and either sketches or reads, but sometimes she likes to join in to practice form or spells she has mastered.

Rikuto and Vanitas like teaming up to make a spar a test of endurance, where they have to hold out as long as possible until one of them passes out—which hasn’t happened yet, but it’s been dangerously close a few times. Those two are a _terrifying_ team.

Day in, day out, their muscles sore and their bones ache. Sora’s fallen on their face more times than he can count and Riku’s tripped over more than a handful of spells mid-cast. It’s disastrous. It’s hectic. Everybody has more blackmail material than they’d ever want any of their friends to have thanks to the introduction of phones.

Kairi’s sent them laughing emojis at each of their blunders and then encourages them in the same message. Some seriously skewed mixed signals there!

But training has some pretty awesome instant payoffs. Within only a few days, they manage to achieve something they thought was going to be lost forever, or at least for a really long time.

Terra’s working on form with them the day it happens. When he demonstrates a side-barrier block counterattack, for some reason Sora—overreacts. The motion was smooth and confident and strong, like—like a claw slash or a body slam, and in Sora’s exhausted mind from working Aeros and Firagas late into the night before—

It’s _danger._

Braveheart shivers as Sora drops to his natural defensive pose, a wave of cold air rushing over him as his mind blanks.

— _a thousand Heartless, more coming, they won’t stop, if he makes one wrong move it’s all over for him, for his friends, he has to do this it’s the one thing he_ can _do even though he’s weak he’s nothing, he has to fight has to fight has to_ fight—

 _—something grabbed him, pulled him away,_ no no no, _he wants to leave he doesn’t want to be here, his friend is so close his most precious person, he_ wants him, _not this thing this creature why can’t he fight why isn’t he good enough strong enough—_

 _—Sora, it’s okay, snap out of it, c’mon, come back to us,_ a voice croons, the one he was searching for and—

Oh. He’s not in a dirt canyon or drowning in an oppressive darkness. Crap, he—did it again, didn’t he? _Ugh, I thought I got over those,_ he thinks to himself.

He hasn’t a waking nightmare in a while, but he’s always had trouble with dealing with…everything, really. Normally he’d just freak out, remembering every fight and failure and life-or-death situation he’s dealt with since he was 14—and sometimes he’d _really_ flip out, like, going catatonic or attacking others or—

The dark thoughts never fully leave him. But at least his friends are always by his side to help him through the waves.

Quicker than usual, _(his personal Dream Eater, protecting him again)_ he comes back to solid ground as Riku takes over his troubles, calming his overacting mind down with ease. Riku’s heart has always been a grounding factor for his own, and feeling it, right there all the time, is—it’s soothing, to say the least.

Terra is trying to talk to him, worried, but Sora is suddenly drawn to their hands, where Riku gasps in his mind as they both realize he’s holding—

“The Kingdom Key!” they exclaim.

Ever since they got their memories back, their Keyblades have looked notably better. Less holes in Braveheart, less tarnish on the Key, and the like. But they haven’t been able to hold their own one’s yet.

Here, in Sora’s hand _right now_ though, is his own weapon. It’s still ice-cold and piercing through his gloves, but it’s his!

He turns it round and round, admiring the way the light shines off the metal, now gleaming with only a few spots of rust here and there. Finally! Oh, how he missed his favorite blade!

Oddly enough, it feels…almost uncomfortable to hold? Maybe it’s the strange lightness of it or its chill, or the fact that he’s worked with Braveheart so intensely for so long by now that he misses the weight of that one.

But he can’t up and forget the past two years of using his most prized weapon. It clearly doesn’t forget him—it hums faintly in his hands, gradually growing in strength. If a magical weapon can feel relief, he’s sure this one does. Sora does, too!

“Finally!” Sora exclaims out loud. He tests a few swings. Same comfortable movements, same easy spells. Like nothing has changed!

“Hey! This is great news!” Terra says with a smile. “How does it feel?”

“The same. A little chilly, but—hey!”

Suddenly, the Kingdom Key stops reacting to him, and Sora has the overwhelming urge to switch back to Braveheart for some reason. The pull is too hard to resist. Braveheart leaps into his hands.

 _What just happened?_ Riku echoes.

No idea. On the bright side, Braveheart looks good too, for being gone all of five minutes. Less cracks and punch holes!

Still… “Why does this keep happening?” Sora says, frustrated.

Terra considers the scene. “Riku, how about you come out and try holding Braveheart, see what happens?”

Sora willingly pushes Riku forward. The instant he does—Braveheart stays. Progress!

_Alright!_

But Riku’s thoughts are just as confused as his. He still feels burning heat, though more like 1 or 2 degree burns instead of 3, and it’s bizarre to hold, but he can do it.

Two minutes later, the Kingdom Key switches back in just as Riku practices a counterattack.

“Well,” Sora considers. “Guess they’re actually able to tell us apart better now?”

“Or maybe we don’t need to rely on each other’s blades as much as before.” Riku’s smile is sly. “You know what that means?”

“…more practice?”

“More practice.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Sora waves off. Honestly, the prospect of even more training is groan-worthy, but it’s also a little exciting at the same time.

So then on, every single day, they sneak in as much time as they can to summon their respective Keyblades.

Two minutes goes to five minutes, then ten minutes, and at one point it just leaps from then to an _hour_ , where the Kingdom Key absolutely refused to leave Sora’s hand no matter how many times he drops it, throws it, places it down gently, or wills it to vanish.

Turns out weapons are clingy, who knew?

 _Do you think we’ll be able to dual-wield like Roxas can?_ Sora asks excitedly.

“Can’t you do that already?” Riku says.

_Yeah, in special occasions. Like my drives or when I’m in trouble. But Roxas can just do it like, wabam! Right there!_

Riku thinks about that. “…probably? We do have two hearts running between us…” his thoughts jump back to the book. If that merge happens…what will happen to their Keyblades? Would they even recognize the two of them anymore?

 _I’m going to try it,_ Sora proclaims.

Much to his disappointment, it doesn’t work. Not the first time, or the second, or the thirteenth. But—just barely, there is a _tug_ there, like it _could_ be possible, but, ehhhhh, not right now.

Sora’s determined to get it during training one of these times. It’ll look so _cool_ outside of Valor Form.

* * *

When they’re alone, they like talking out loud to each other. Speaking in their minds is convenient and intimate, to them as comfortable as breathing, but speaking out loud is a different kind of enjoyment. It’s like they’re speaking right next to each other, like that first night when he thought Riku would be by his side when he turned his head.

Now he doesn’t have to turn his head for false hope. Because the real thing is somewhere even closer, and that hope is _real._

Eventually, talking out loud alone becomes talking aloud in training where no one can hear them over fighting. Then the breakfast table. And then they stop caring all together and chat even if the whole castle is crammed into one common room because it just feels so _right_ that way.

They don’t even feel numbness anymore when they switch. They start to feel it all no matter who’s in control. Every hit, every touch, every taste, every scent. They still have control of course, where they can block themselves off if they wanted to, but most of the time they prefer not to.

Working together becomes less of an obstacle. It becomes a strength once again. Fighting as one. Seamless. Unstoppable.

Nobody told them how wonderful it would feel to have his most precious person with him again. For both of them.

* * *

“Okay, Riku,” Sora says. “I think it’s time we talk.”

They’re in the back corner of the library, flipping through mythological books and the like. Well, it’s mostly Riku doing the flipping, Sora’s overthinking.

“About…?”

“About us.” Instantly, Riku fixates on a spot on the wall, all thoughts of mythology evaporating. “Correct me if I’m wrong, but I think the universe is trying to tell us something.”

“Sora, I…” Riku starts, trails off. Ever since that very emotional imagining of the kiss, they very carefully haven’t talked about it, too focused on training and fixing up a plan.

Again, this is mostly from Riku. Because Sora really, _really_ wants to talk about it.

He hasn’t stopped thinking about it, and neither has Riku if his drifting thoughts are any indication. He wants Riku to approach him when he feels ready, but it’s been days already and maybe he never will if Sora doesn’t bring it up again.

And, well, Sora’s never been known for subtlety. Riku shouldn’t be uncomfortable with him!

The only reason he’s uncomfortable in the first place is because he thinks _Sora’s_ uncomfortable with it and wants to give him space. Which, that’s the stupidest thing he’s ever heard. He always wants Riku around.

“I mean, the book? What we do for each other? _This?”_ He pulls at the bond, feeling Riku shiver a little at the feeling—ohoho that’s _new_. “C’mon! Tell me those aren’t signs!”

“Sora…we shouldn’t do this right now,” Riku says, a hint of warning in his voice.

“Why not?” Suddenly, Riku’s walls are starting to be built before his very eyes, closing him off from Sora. _Why?_ Didn’t he like it? Like _him?_

Or…does Sora have this all wrong. Oh, gods, he’s being a pushy, creepy jerk, isn’t he?

Riku catches on and immediately starts shaking their head. “No, no, you aren’t—don’t think that! Of course I…well, you’re…I _do…_ ” right on cue, Riku’s thoughts go all gooey with fondness. Sora squirms happily at this, and makes their legs start jigging with his untapped energy.

“Then…why?”

“I’m not going to force you into a relationship when you literally can’t not be around me, Sora.”

“ _Force_ me? Who’s forcing me?”

Riku taps the book in a nervous rhythm. “Me.”

Shocked, Sora freezes. Then he bursts. _“What!?”_

“Look, it might be something in—my mind, or heart, that’s manipulating you to feel this way, and I’m so sorry if that happened. But I won’t let you start this and then hate me later once you realize that I pushed it on you, I won’t—”

Oh, if Sora had his own hands he’d _wring Riku’s neck_. “You complete—argh! What the heck makes you think that? What, I’m not allowed to have my own feelings?”

“You _can,_ it’s just…with things like this, I’m not _sure._ I was manipulated so easily by the darkness, what if it’s still in me and affecting you?”

Un. Believable. He’s comparing their physics-defying world-bending kissy faces at each other to _darkness._ “You can’t just go around making these decisions for me,” Sora says harshly, more than a little pissed off. Fuck, he’s not a _child._ He can curse, he can fight in wars, and he can fall in love with stupid boys like a goddamn adult. “You’re so fucking— _god, get out of there—”_

Sora respects their privacy, especially because they have little of that these days, but with Riku’s head so stuck in the sand there’s no way he can get through to him except at the source. So he starts beating at Riku’s mental walls with all his strength, starting to feel them topple at just one hit.

_Sora, what are you—!_

He slips through without any grace, beelining to Riku’s heart. Eyes wide, he doesn’t react as Sora pulls him to his own heart, pressing down.

Here, there’s no boundaries between them, so all they feel is the _truth._ Riku’s lived in darkness, he can smell when it’s near, and there’s nothing like that here. Because even before then—Sora’s been in love, even if he never put a name to it.

He’s not afraid now. Why can’t Riku see that?

“Does this feel _made-up?_ Do I smell _manipulated?_ Maybe I didn’t realize it as soon as you did, but I feel it just as strong!” He snarls. Actually spits, he’s so hopping mad.

Close to each other, all they hear is music as their hearts sing, their song rising, rising in soft harmony, delighted to be together. The urge to grab the man in front of him to waltz around their heartspace without a care in the world and lavish in this wonderful feeling presses in his very soul.

“I’m just _worried,_ can I not be worried, Sora?” Riku grits.

“No! I’m sick of everyone’s worry! I want you guys to trust that _I_ can make my own destiny.”

Everyone worries, like that’s going to fix anything. He’s snapped on people more than a few times about it until they’ve gotten the idea and backed off.

A year ago, he wouldn’t have dreamed of lashing out like that, least of all to his friends, but Sora’s just a little different now and maybe that’s not a bad thing. They respect his decisions, they apologize to each other, and all is well between them.

He finally feels safe to _express_ his true self, not this unflappable persona he’s been toting around for who-knows-how long.

He presses images of them in their mind—on the islands, in the tower, fighting together, his thoughts and feelings at each time. Even the bad memories—in Hollow Bastion, on the glacial field, fighting _against_ each other—they’re still important, because even then they still cared about each other. It’s what defines them and what made them stronger in the end.

Sora goes on, staring at the images and remembering each one, each treasured memory. “Look, if you say no, I’ll back off. But if you’re saying no because of me I’m never going to give up. Okay? So tell me now. _Please.”_

Sora’s nervous, more nervous than he’s ever been in his life. He’s…Riku’s always been too good for him. Sora’s just the back-up, the guy with nothing special going for him. Nobody intended for him to have the Keyblade, nobody thought he’d be good enough to keep fighting, and nobody thought he was worthy to keep going, keep going—

Yet here he is. Still here. That has to count for something.

He’s been beaten down and broken more times than he can count, and sometimes, when he’s feeling really low about himself, he doesn’t want to get up after them. But he always does. He always, always does because that’s who he is at heart, and he can’t change that. Doesn’t _want_ to.

So he’ll keep fighting—for his friends, for his family, for Riku—because that’s who he is. Nobody, not even Riku is going to tell him what he _can’t_ do.

Riku says he’s the strongest person he’s ever met. Riku's always believed in him. And Sora's starting to believe in himself again because of that unwavering trust.

How can Sora express the same to him?

“I’ve always loved you, Sora,” Riku says, and his heart sings _strong._ “Don’t ever doubt me on that.”

 _Yes, yes!_ “Then, don’t doubt me either.”

“I’m not doubting you—”

“Yes you are.”

“I just want to be sure,” Riku says, desperate. “I can’t—I’m only half a person right now. I don't know what will happen if—if you change your mind, it'll hurt, and I don’t want to put that pressure on you until I know I can stand without you.”

As much as he hates to admit it, that’s true. Both their hearts are fragile things, even as their song crescendos and flows loud as can be. Their sensitive nature is still a wrench in the machine. If one of them gets too emotionally wrecked or high-strung, the trauma could put them to sleep—for who knows how long. Hearts are fickle like that.

Sora sighs, but concedes with a soft smile. “…You’re right. Okay! We won’t start anything official until we’re all fixed up.” He holds up a hand. “ _But_. I want you to be sure that no matter what happens, I will _always_ be there for you. As a friend or as something more, it doesn’t matter. I love you either way.”

The waltz swirls and twirls, wrapping all around them in a gentle hug. Riku’s eyes glow iridescent, shining wet and bright.

He reaches out with one hand outstretched, half bow, and Sora doesn’t hesitate to grasp the pale grip and be pulled into his heart.

Safe. Content. Happy. Nearly perfect.

They sway to the tempo idly, reveling in this moment, together in their minds. “You, too. I love you too,” Riku all but whispers, so soft and quiet—but Sora hears it. He always does.

 _Now_ this is perfect.

“…can I still call you cute?”

“I’m not cute. I’m handsome,” Riku says indignantly.

“What about amazing? Perfect? Wonderful? All mine—”

“I thought—thought we said _nothing official_ , oh my god.”

“C’mon, you get to compliment me all the time! Why can’t I?”

“That’s different, you’re actually perfect, more beautiful than all the stars in the sky, brighter than the rising sun—”

“Stoooop!” Hearing compliments being peppered back at him is another thing entirely, and Riku laughs as Sora pinches him and then—

Sora’s knocked back into the library, blinking their eyes rapidly at the harsh light.

“Did you just boot me out?”

Radio silence. Riku’s giving him the _dial tone._ Is that more laughing he hears!?

“Riku—damnit Riku get back here or I swear I’ll drink a whole pint of chocolate milk and leave you to deal with the consequences—"

Sora slowly starts walking them to the kitchen in the most threatening way he can manage. “Oooo, I’m almost at the fridge, get ready to feel soooo sick for the next _three days_ —"

_You’re stuck with me! You’ll only be hurting yourself, too._

“You’re so mean _,_ I don’t even know why I like you—!”

The whole time, their hearts beat together, _love love love_ rushing through their hearts, each with a new level of wonder that Sora thinks he’s never, ever going to get tired of.

* * *

The wind is particularly unbearable on the training hill today. They tried to practice forms on the peak at Riku’s insistence but had to hunker down the slope to avoid the wind billowing Riku’s long hair around like a silver tornado.

Even sticking it up in a ponytail barely helps; it eventually just slips out from all the movement, leaving the locks to smack in their face at the worst times.

“You put way too much conditioner in your hair,” Sora argues as he ties Riku’s hair— _their_ hair, at this point, as the brown roots start to grow in longer—up for the sixth time.

“It’s so it doesn’t tangle!” Riku defends. He takes over and tries out a bun, which Sora couldn’t have hope of ever manipulating to make it look half as good as Riku makes it work.

He himself never had long hair when he had his own body, and so far, his experience of it on him has been lukewarm. It’s pretty on girls, _extremely_ pretty on Riku, but dealing with it himself? No thank you, he’ll stick to short and choppy any day.

Riku wrestles a messy bun in place. Sora can’t help but sneak a glance in a puddle to see their reflection. Yeah, pretty as always. Man, it’s almost unfair how drop-dead gorgeous Riku is, if Sora didn’t love it so much.

It’s a little strange to see _himself_ there too; Sora’s not vain, but he knows he is (was?) pretty attractive, especially in Riku's eyes according to his drifting daydreams on sunny days. Riku admires his new features for a moment, thoughts unguarded— _brown hair, I wish we had the same nose too, it’s like he’s here, do we look that much alike? I have his smile! That’s so cool, I’m so glad he’s here—_ before Sora’s own mushy thoughts drift through.

 _Hey, no peeking in my head! And—don’t—stare and think like that!_ Riku flusters. Like he isn’t doing the same for Sora!

There it is—a flush settling on their cheeks, and it’s not from Sora because he has no shame.

It makes them look even prettier.

A week ago, Sora would have balked at the idea of revealing his not-so-platonic feelings so readily. But now he cares less. A _lot_ less. Honestly, even though they promised to wait, he’s trying to bait Riku into casual flirting because the idea that they could have something more is becoming a more and more attractive concept the more he considers it.

People have called him pushy before, and they’re right, and if Riku gives him a hard no he’ll _absolutely_ back off without complaint. But so far, Riku's only been happy about all the flirting. Heck, he’s even doing it back!

“You’re just trying to woo me out of training,” Riku says, and Sora scoffs.

If he wanted to do that, he’d be a bit more persuasive. Can’t he just admire his best friend _(oooooor maybe more, ohoho?)_ in peace?

_Don’t act like you’re not a part of this!_

That’s true—it’s hard to admire Riku when he sees himself so closely intertwined as well. Some days, it’s weird. Other times…well, he likes it. Really, really likes it.

He’s not some—crazy obsessive person or anything like that, but, seeing the way he influences his most precious person, so close in heart and body…it’d make anyone go a little crazy.

Good thing for him he has no doubts Riku likes it just as much. So they can be two totally insane friends, together! Platonically!

(For now! Once they get this whole heart situation squared away, they’ll be unstoppable!)

They start making their way to a plateau on the slope. “I was thinking about cutting it,” Riku says casually, turning to focus on a defense stance as if it wasn’t important.

Sora mentally freezes. “If this is about what I said, I was just kidding. I don’t mind the hair—”

“I do,” Riku confesses. “Every time I grew it out, it was—there was always a reason, and it was never good. Because _I_ was never good.”

Images flash by in their mind— _on a beach, staring over the docks at two young figures curled closely together, himself writhing in green-eyed jealousy—_

 _Balling gooey void blobs into shadowy forms, demanding them to do his bidding, filled with anger, hate,_ rage, betrayal—they left me first! I don't need them!— _  
_

_Cloaked in the darkness, Ansem's body too tall, too sharp, mind forced empty at the crushing loneliness suffocating him as he stares at tan skin and a warm smile from afar, always afar—_

—gasping, he’s thrown back into the present.

 _Sorry, sorry,_ Riku’s heart whispers, and Sora’s soothes it.

The scenes are familiar from their past adventures, but the raw emotion pouring from them is new. Seeing it through the actual eyes of Riku…puts a new perspective on it.

Carefully, Sora pushes, too curious not to know. For the reason this time.

Neither of them can keep many secrets anymore. They wouldn’t want to anyways. But Riku sometimes still omits the truth if not asked directly—he’s still too scared of hurting Sora, which is a habit he’s trying to break once and for all.

But when asked, he offers.

 _—hunkering in a cave, hands frozen and roving over a map, cursing at the lack of warmth from his coat—townsfolk confused, they don’t know anything, hopefully the next one will—books on the Dark Realm, stacked high, flipped open as drooping eyes search for a hint, for_ anything _—phone in hand, refreshed every minute, screen flashing_ text not sent, number no longer exists _as he stares and stares and stares—_

 _—hair tangled, unkempt, pushed to the side, no time to worry about that, he found it,_ he found him, Sora, Sora, Sora—

 _He was searching all that time?_ Sora thinks, knows.

No wonder he wants to cut it, if the hair reminds Riku of every moment he hates about himself. But he has to know, that’s not what defines him—!

Riku laughs a little, not at all bothered. “I know it’s not. In fact, I don’t mind it anymore. It used to feel so heavy, but seeing how much you liked it, or how I looked when I actually took care of it…it takes the weight off.” Then he smirks. “But it’s going to look silly on us if it keeps growing in like this. Better to deal with it now, right?”

Underneath the words, Sora feels them. There’s a promise of the future in it; that one day he’ll grow it out and it will fall silky and light instead of caging.

In the past, in separate bodies, Sora might have argued. What if he pushed Riku to this point? What if he’s doing this as another pointless sacrifice for him?

But the now-Sora adds to their smile a little. _They._ He knows exactly what Riku thinks, feels, because he’s right there for all of it.

“Alright! Sounds good,” Sora confirms happily. Then: “Thank you.” _For trusting me._

_Always._

* * *

“How short do you want it?” Naminé questions.

“Short. Above the ears at least.”

“Okay,” she says. “Um…I might mess it up.”

“Nah, it’ll look great! We trust you,” Sora encourages, tilting their head back as Naminé gently tugs on a strand of their hair.

“Alright…” she says hesitantly. The snap-click sound of scissors echoes behind him.

 _Are you sure about this?_ Sora asks Riku one last time. Suddenly hearing the click makes it seem so permanent. Which, it is.

_Positive. Besides, it’ll grow back, so even if it doesn’t look good we’re not losing anything._

_Oh please. Like you couldn’t make_ any _hairstyle look incredible._

Their face flushes.

A lock of hair is pulled back, and the glide of metal through it is unmistakable. For all of Riku’s aloofness, he is ever-so-slightly worried. Not that it’ll look bad, he knows Naminé will do just fine, but. As always, it’s a big change—

The scissors snip and the lock of hair scatters to the floor.

Riku breathes out.

Snip by snip, the hair falls away. Sora blows strands from their face and Riku fiddles with the silver locks that fall in their lap. The more she cuts the more he still can’t believe—that was all on his head? He was carrying that this whole time? No wonder why it felt so heavy.

Naminé moves in front of their face once she’s satisfied with the back, lips pursed in deep concentration as she snips the spikes to frame his face with the precision of an artist.

 _You’re so hairy,_ Sora marvels.

Ew. _That’s the worst possible adjective you could have called me, ever._

_There’s no better word! Shaggy? Fluffy? Furry—_

_Bad. All of that. Just—bad._ Sora laughs.

“All done!” Naminé chirps. Riku opens the eyes he didn’t know he closed, still with a faint smile.

A mirror is held to their face. Sora _ooo’s_ and _aah’s_. It’s almost exactly the haircut he had before Sora left, except maybe a little longer. The brown roots don’t stick out as much, instead blending in more naturally as the spikes give the hair more volume. It frames the new look to his face well. _Really_ well, highlighting all of Sora’s borrowed features in a way he really likes.

He runs a hand through it and shakes out the last of the strands. It looks good. It _feels_ really good.

“It’s wonderful, Naminé,” he says genuinely, and she lights up. “Thank you so much.”

“Of course!”

 _Hell-o. Can I get your number, handsome?_ Sora says in what’s probably an attempt at a flirty voice. He makes their face wink in the mirror. Riku rolls their eyes.

_We share the same phone, doof._

_Semantics!_

They stand to grab the broom and help sweep the hair up into the dustpan, chatting aimlessly, when the moment of calm is broken when Ven rushes in.

“Naminé, have you seen—oh, you’re here!”

“Whoa, everything okay?” Ventus is sort of breathing heavy, like he was rushing around every nook and cranny to find them.

Ven takes a deep breath and points to the stairwell. “Meeting in the common room! There’s news!”

“News?” Naminé echoes.

“Terra found something. It’s about the Heartless.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact: This was the chapter where I hit 69,420 in my first draft all the way back in like, October. Kachow!
> 
> Oh man I can't believe I'm over 2/3 done with this. So crazy! Also I'm having the time of my life talking with y'all in the comments, ya'll awesome people ;) tysm for the kudos and kind words! <33


	10. Waltz Across Worlds

“You’re sure it was them?”

“It had to have been. A group that large? I couldn’t see their eyes, but they were on their way here,” Terra confirms.

Riku presses a hand to their chin, considering. Definitely not a good sign, no.

While off world, Terra had encountered an unusually large group of Heartless ships clustered in the darkness of space. It didn’t take long for him to realize that both him and the ships were taking the same path to the Land of Departure, and that probably spelled danger.

With Terra’s glider, he made it back in record time, but Heartless ships are just as fast, especially some of the more dangerous ones. If nothing is done, they’ll catch up soon.

Aqua’s running a complicated spell of some kind, frowning at a ball of glowing magic. “The barrier on this land is strong. There’s usually no worry, most enemies back off at the first sign of trouble, but…are you certain there was _that_ many?”

Terra nods heavily. “Definitely.”

Heartless ships usually cluster, that’s not uncommon, but for them to actively seek out heavily warded land in a massive group? That’s organized. Too organized for most pure Heartless to comprehend.

“Well,” Aqua says after a pause. “I suppose we’ll be testing how much our wards can handle.”

“Can’t we just fight ‘em?” Vanitas argues.

“We can’t really fight them off in the sky right now,” Sora muses. They have two ships and three gliders between the group of them—and one of those ships isn’t even Sora’s upgraded Highwind, Sora thinks regretfully, which is probably still lounging in Disney Castle where Goofy last parked it.

“What about on land?” Riku asks.

“Most likely. We would be fighting on our own land, so no need to worry about unfamiliar terrain, but it would still be difficult.”

“Can’t be worse than the Realm of Darkness, though,” Ventus muses.

Rikuto glances out the window as if the enemy is already there. “How did they even find you guys? This place is protected. Shouldn’t it be impossible to track you down?”

Frankly, Riku’s been thinking about that ever since they were run out of Radiant Garden. With Sora’s help, he thinks he’s got a pretty good picture of the scene now. The first time Sora was ambushed in the bailey, it seemed like an accident—a group of Heartless saw them and reacted on instinct, like animals. Nothing unusual there.

 _Besides the whole going-feral-and-turning-purple thing,_ Sora mutters.

The next time, there were far more forces, and they had far more structure than before. The Heartless were actively seeking them out, instead of them accidentally stumbling on the shadows. The only difference between the first time and the last was…

“My heart,” Riku declares. “It was my heart waking up.”

At the looks, he continues. “Think about it. After I woke up completely, they came back, but stronger and more focused. Before that point, they just acted how they always act. They weren’t sure. But two hearts are easier to track than one, and if my heart is their main target, then now that I’m awake…there’s probably not many places we could hide completely from them.”

“So it wants you? Because of the deal?” Ventus says.

“Possibly, yes. No—I’m certain.”

 _Which we are not giving you up for, so don’t even try,_ Sora argues.

Riku smiles at that. He really wasn’t considering that, not anymore at least. He’d be lying if he said the idea hadn’t crossed his mind, to trade the rest of his heart for it leave Sora alone, but now that he’s here, almost whole, with the people he loves—no way does he want to leave them.

The deal is off. Now that he has Sora back, now that he gets to _experience_ having Sora back in their lives, he’s not going to give that up for the sake of honor and keeping up a bargain.

What he regrets the most about it is other people putting themselves in danger for him. He just—he can’t accept that. They’ve already done so much for him and Sora, and now he’s asking them to put their lives on the line again? How can he ask that of them?

 _Because they’re our friends, duh,_ Sora says, poking at his thoughts. _It’s not about asking. It’s about what they_ want _to do. Plus, we’ll just make Ven mad if we tell them they can’t, and he’s_ scary _when he’s mad. More than Vanitas._

Riku shakes his head. There he goes again; Sora, being right, always knowing what to say as per usual. He agrees to the words with a hum and is rewarded with a happy bubble pop of emotion.

Naminé taps her sketchbook nervously. “Where can you go, then? If even here’s not safe for you…”

“We’ll just have to start the plan now, right Riku?” Sora says, holding up one of their fists across their chest.

Riku uses their other hand to bump it gently. “Now or never.”

“We’re coming with you!” Ventus jumps up—but Riku shakes their head with furrowed brows.

“No, we have to go alone.”

 _Huh? But I thought—_ Sora starts.

“I thought we agreed to at least accompany you to the next world,” Aqua argues. “That was the plan.”

Riku gestures to the sky. “That was before the Heartless started coming in. Our ship is barely big enough for two, let alone all of you. If we switch to a bigger ship, it would attract too much attention, and if we brought more ships or gliders it would be too risky. Leaving with just our ship is our best chance right now.”

_That makes sense…_

The group seems visibly uncomfortable with this. Ven’s the most outspoken, worry in the jiggle of his leg. “What if they catch you? What if you’re hurt? What if you—pass out again or something?”

“They can handle themselves,” Vanitas says, tired of this shit. “If they insist on being stupid, then let them be dumb."

“Van, don’t say that—”

“Do _not_ call me that.”

“How about we draw them off?” Rikuto suggests. “We won’t go with you, but we can make sure you make it out.”

“Yes! If we make a diversion, we could throw them off your trail! There’s magic and smoke bombs and, oh—what about—!” Naminé starts furiously sketching a map as everyone starts shouting ideas.

Aqua runs a hand down her face. In her gaze, and Terra's creased brows, Riku sees what he saw in the Realm of Darkness that first time. He's doing it again; bothering them, forcing them to help him _—_

And yet, there's that determination. Compassion, and understanding, and worry, and care. Sora taught him that leaning on others isn't a weakness, but a strength _—_ but when will he become _too much_ for even his friends?

_It never will. They do it because they love you, you know._

_They love_ you, Riku insists.

Instead of getting mad, Sora laughs. _If you can’t see how much they care about you too, then there really is no hope for you!_

Thing is, he _does_ see it, because Sora’s sharp eyes have always seen the light in ways his never could. And instead of it weighing his soul down like lead weights, it actually makes him feel—encouraged? Really happy?

It’s probably 90% Sora’s emotions leaking through, because Riku usually feels selfish and low when others are in danger because of him. But it feels like his own emotions, with Sora so close, and he’s never felt so happy, so _good_ —

How much of him is Sora? How much of Sora is him? At this point?

Aqua drops the scrying spell. “They’re starting to come in range of the barrier. We need to make a decision.”

Sora stands them up. “Alright, we’re going!”

“Now?”

“Our stuffs packed, the Heartless are about to start breaking down the door any second, the ship is fueled up, I can drive—”

 _You are_ not _driving,_ Riku says firmly. Sora pouts in their mind. It’s extremely cute and out of place considering their predicament, but it feels so normal it calms a part of him he didn’t know was nervous.

Ventus stands too, a twist to his frown. He looks like he wants to say something, but Sora already seems to know what it is.

“We will be okay,” he promises with true blue eyes. Reaffirming the promise they’ve already made a thousand times before. “Ven, I promise.”

Biting his lip, Ventus reluctantly nods. “…okay. I trust you.”

“Regular check ins,” Aqua demands. “Every few days, or daily if you can.”

“Don’t worry, we’ll keep in touch. We have these fancy doodads now!” Sora waves around their phone.

“And I’ll watch over him,” Riku promises. Ventus’ eyes pierce through his, unbeknownst to Sora. Clear as day, a message: _you better._ Yet, trusting, at the same time— _I know you will._

“We _both_ will!”

 _We can’t be one without the other_.

_We’re a team!_

10 minutes later, they're sprinting their way out of the castle as the first of the ships start blasting the barrier. The ground rumbles under them with each step.

“Whoa!” Sora sways. Jeez, how many Heartless are out there to already be causing earthquakes?

They have to move fast. The barrier is strong, absurdly strong, but if its somehow broken, it puts everyone at risk even if they're all extremely competent fighters.

Plus, it’ll take forever to rebuild, and they already had to fix this place once. That’s plenty enough.

Hopping in the ship, Sora throws their bag to the ground and leaps into the drivers seat. Riku boots him out of the front of their mind the second he starts messing with the keys.

“I am a good driver, you know,” Sora sulks. It’s true he’s navigated some truly insane starfields, they both know that, but a good number of them (only like, 3, or maybe 5 times) also ended in almost crashes. The Highwind is more dent than ship at this point.

“Maybe next time,” Riku says. The engines start rumbling.

While Riku finishes up the checks, Sora borrows one of their hands to call their teammates and prop the phone on the dash. “Hey! Can you guys hear me?”

“ _Loud and clear.”_

“ _We’re in position!”_

“We’re about to take off,” Riku yells over the noise.

The ship starts to lift, and the two of them share a determined grin as the adrenaline starts to spike. “Be careful!”

With a burst of power, they’re flying at breakneck speed towards the barrier.

A moment later, a second ship and two gliders take off in the opposite direction.

The idea was simple on paper. As smart as the Heartless seem, they’re banking on the fact that they’re ship-blind and can’t tell who’s in what ship or glider, that maybe Riku’s heart signal will be protected as they’re distracted by the chaos. Their attention will be split. Considering the Heartless have only reacted when they see their face, it’s a fair bet.

The sky is gradually darkening. Light being blotted out by the inky spread of darkness above them.

“Aqua, Terra! Where are they at?” Riku yells.

“ _Keep as far left as possible. Ventus’ll send our decoy ship high to the right and distract them!”_ Terra’s voice crackles through their phone, reception weak as they start leaving range.

Sure enough, as they fly low the ground, only gaining height in small bursts at a time, the faint shadow of the ships in the atmosphere start shifting to the right to chase after the other wielders.

 _Alright!_ Sora crows. Riku takes them higher.

Once they get close enough to the edge of the atmosphere, they’re supposed to give Aqua a signal to drop the barrier in a specific spot for the briefest of moments. Not enough to let enemy fire in, but enough for them to squeeze through then slam it shut.

Sora takes over that job readily, words at the tip of their tongue. _Almost, almost…_

The near-invisible barrier glints in the faint remaining light. “Now! Aqua!”

For one frightening second, it seems like nothing happened, like they’re going to splat into the wall and become a smear on its reflective surface, and they _trust_ Aqua but oh god, what if they miscalculated, what if something went wrong—

And then, the barrier opens.

The ship flies into the dark mass with a sharp sound, cannons going full throttle and engines gaining speed. Riku pushes the steering lever as high as it can go, and Sora takes over his favorite control of the cavalry gunfire.

Heartless screech. Some burn in the cannon fire, while others are plain flattened by their ship barreling through the mass cranked up to Mach speed. The ship rocks and rolls, enemies bouncing off their hull and denting the metal. Blasts hit them soon after the enemy gets over its shock of seeing them breakthrough and realizing that _this_ is their target.

In unison, all the creepy yellow lights glinting in the ship windows turn to purple.

“ _Sor—iku—copy?”_

“We’re almost there!” Sora yells over the explosions. Stars are starting to come into their field of view. The distraction must have worked, the dense Heartless wave they were expecting must have been stretched thin, they’re _so close—_

Harsh steering. A barrel roll. Blue-fire laser blasts. Worrying metal groans and screeches.

 _Almost, almost—_ they chant in unison, hoping, wishing, _almost!_

—its never going to end it’s—

— _we’ll make it we will we will—_

—they smash through the last line of defense and take off into the stars.

“Yes! YES!” Sora cheers, pumping their fist. Riku clasps their other fist in a victory waggle. “Oh man, did you see—”

Just as they say that, a sudden, shattering blast knocks them out of the pilot seat, sending the ship spiraling and spinning, and they yelp in surprise—cut off, as everything goes black and dizzy.

* * *

Riku wakes up bleary. There’s a throbbing pain in his head, something missing, gone, what was—wait, there, Sora groaning in his mind, _loudly,_ which makes the pain worse but—that’s okay. It’s okay now. He’s still here. That’s what matters.

Ugh…the last thing he remembers was the Heartless ships…a loud explosion. One of them must have gotten a lucky shot at the end. Something wet is dripping into his— _their_ —eyes but he can’t see anything in the pitch-black hard metal corner of the ship they flew into.

They’re not dead. That's a relief. He was sure they very nearly were.

 _Morbid,_ Sora says. _It’ll take more than a few tiny ships to knock us out!_

“We _were_ knocked out,” Riku points out, and winces as he sits them up. When Sora tries to push forward, Riku pokes him back. “No, I can handle this…”

“I can feel it too, you know. Whatever we hit, it hurts me too.”

They compromise on a half-and-half control, which eases the strain on Riku’s mind and settles Sora’s. Slowly, they make their way back to the drivers center and stare out the window.

There’s…absolutely nothing out there.

This isn't unusual. Space is commonly empty, and drab, and boring. Rocks, Heartless, planets, and stars; that’s all you’ll see usually.

So this should be good news. There's no Heartless ships pursuing them!

The bad news? There’s literally _nothing else_ here either.

No landmarks, no visible constellations—nothing that’s easily recognizable that can guide them to a safe place. Even Sora, self-proclaimed space navigator extraordinaire, is at a loss.

Riku shakes their head and steps away from the window, instead focusing on the most important part of what he _can_ fix. Figuring out how to get out of here.

Sora seems to have the same thought. “How’s the ship?” Sora asks weakly.

Considering the entire cabin is flashing red lights and warning signs, it’s probably not good. “Could be worse,” Riku grits.

Spoken too soon.

A very alarming warning bell suddenly chimes in the cabin. One sound no one ever wants to hear trapped in the middle of lightyears of empty space.

Sora recognizes it immediately. “Low fuel? But we just…”

With fogged eyes, he brushes their hands over the cracked meters. “Damn it. It hit the fuel tank. We’re leaking gas,” Riku mutters.

Sora winces. _Fuck._

Yeah. That about sums it up. “If we don’t hurry…” Riku doesn’t need to finish. Being stranded in space ushers in some horrifying imagery they prefer not to dwell on.

“Well, what’s the closest world? Town? Small rock with cell reception?” Sora urges.

Carefully, mindful of their wounds—the cuts aren’t bleeding as much, thank god, but their head is so scrambled, shit, probably a concussion—they wobble to the bent chair and tap the GPS screen. The numbers and letters blur in his vision.

“How do you use this again?” Sora questions. Riku just focuses on blinking. Everything else seems so difficult…

Suddenly, his mental walls are— _smacked,_ for lack of a better term, what the—

“Stay awake!” Sora says, fuzzily, like he’s trying to do that himself. “Head wounds…not good. Brain damage? Is that…”

“Oh no…we’re already running out of marbles to lose…” Riku says, then _giggles._ Like, full-on squeaky punch-drunk _giggles_ —Riku _never_ giggles!

Sora slaps the screen with a new kind of panic. It crackles sadly. “Hey, computer! Take us somewhere, fast!”

“It’s not voice activated.”

“I know, I just—if we talk, we’ll be okay. Keep talking. Talk to me about controls.” Sora’s getting very worried now. The cabin is chilly and Riku is all out of it and somehow he’s the one with the bigger half of brain power right now (even if it hurts so badly, their head bruised and battered, heavy like a lead weight—) so it’s up to him to force this stupid technology to _listen_ to him.

Haltingly, Riku talks. Sora knows all the controls of course, but hearing voices is keeping him calm and stable and awake just as much as it is for Riku.

Sora taps the Gummiphone screen but nothing happens. Not even the magical technology powers of the phone have range out here.

Still, he clicks the buttons he knows best, falling into the easy, desperate pattern of ship navigation. This _has_ to work.

The GPS screen is flickering on and off. Something broke, _badly_ , they need to see Cid or Chip and Dale ASAP, they’ll know what to do—maybe he should just start flying, space is big but it can’t be _that_ big, and the longer they wait the more fuel they leak— _is it just him or is the cabin freezing over, oh my god—_

 _It’ll—if we—we need to get it working, it’ll direct the ship…I don’t think I can like this,_ Riku says.

Yeah, neither can Sora. So that’s their best option. Either Sora flies around in the middle of nowhere till they run out of fuel, or he can let the ship do the talking if he gets it working.

Easy choice, difficult solution.

Well, if there’s no mechanics around, he’ll just have to use his favorite method of technology problem troubleshooting—hitting it until it works!

This, predictably, does nothing. All it’s doing is cracking the screen further. Nothing’s _working._

“C’mon, c’mon…” Sora mutters as the screen stays frustratingly dark. There are still too many flashing lights all around him, loud and bright and red and _wrong_ , and—

You know what? This is stupid. And taking too much time.

_…Sora? What are you—_

The situation cannot get any worse, so he summons his Keyblade and hefts it towards the panel. “Thunder!”

_SORA!_

The low-level energy crackles on the dashboard, and sparks start flying. Pops and wails of electricity dance and then, the cabin goes completely dark.

Riku takes over and frantically messes with the buttons. “Sora! What were you _thinking?_ The ship can’t handle that kind of overload, it might—explode, or…”

Abruptly, the cabin fills with white light, and Riku trails off as the cracked GPS screen calmly turns on.

“…huh.”

“That always seems to work!” Sora says cheerily. Sure, Donald yelled at him for it that one time, but at least it got the ship moving and saved them from becoming mincemeat in a speed skirmish.

Pressing a few keys, the map fizzles into focus. “Take us home, please! The closest one you’ve got!”

It takes a minute to remember that, oh right, the ship isn’t voice activated, and Riku’s too tired to remind him. Then he presses the “go” button with a sheepish half-laugh.

A few hours later, the ship sputters into the Disney Castle hanger just as the last of the fuel gives out.

Immediately, they’re swarmed by the castle’s inhabitants.

“What happened, fellas?” King Mickey asks with no small measure of worry as he ushers them out. The second Sora lands their feet on solid ground, they collapse with relief. _Never again._

That was one of the most difficult ship rides of his _life_. Most of their injuries were mild, thankfully, and a simple Cure or a few bandages healed them quickly. The concussion was harder to take care of, and mostly consisted of the two of them trying to keep each other awake as the ship meandered to safety.

Benefits about sharing a body: one of them could pass out and get a mental break!

But in that moment, they were both so exhausted that naps aren’t useful any longer. They need 12 hours of sleep _stat_ to feel remotely human again.

Now, back in cell range, their phone was instantly flooded with a bajillion messages they tried to answer post-haste. Yes, they were fine. No, they don’t need help right now, thank you. Yes, they exploded tons of Heartless and it _was_ badass.

Riku is starting to drift in the back of their mind, leaving Sora the hard job of fording the most basic of questions as he steadily trudges their feet to the guest room.

Goofy helps him there with a hand around their back. When Sora falls into the bed, too tired to exist any longer, he tucks them in as Donald warms the air with a modified Fire spell, just like they used to do for Sora on long Gummiship rides.

Safe, comfortable, and listening to Riku’s heart beat steadily with his own, Sora falls to sleep with a warm, nostalgic smile. “Thanks, guys,” are his last mumbled words as they drift away to happy dreams.

* * *

The King fully supports their decision to seek answers and find what they lost. He gives Riku a big hug and makes them promise to stay safe, as Goofy and Donald nearly suffocate Sora in their own hug right afterwards, which then turns into a massive group hug that ends with big smiles and hopeful goodbyes.

So, with their blessing, they move on to the next world after a day or so of healing up in the Castle.

Still, they’re not feeling one hundred percent yet (that concussion was seriously _nasty)_. They decide to start looking somewhere easy and familiar, nowhere too difficult, to get back on their feet.

Twilight Town is colorful and bustling as always. Sora watches the tram go by with a smile; one day he wants to go tram surfing on top of it, but it always stops whenever he gets near it when it mistakes him as a passenger.

 _That sounds dangerous,_ Riku warns.

 _But really freaking cool!_ Sora projects an image of relaxing in the perpetual sunset of Twilight Town, lounging on the tram roof as it slowly meanders through town.

_…Okay, yeah, that…sounds really nice, actually._

Sora catches a brief thought from Riku—a picnic basket, brown hair, a soft high-pitched laugh of his—and grins. _Sap._

(He blushes anyways. He’s a sap, too.)

Xion waves a hand in front of his face, knocking them out of their thoughts. “Still with us?”

“Just taking in the Saturday breeze. It’s a nice day!”

“We should get going. They should be at the coffee shop by now, it’s almost noon,” Roxas says.

They’ve been killing time via a short tour through the main square while they wait for the rest of the Twilight Town trio to finish up their chores. Originally, they had come to Twilight Town to warn everyone there about what they learned about their little Heartless problem, and to see if anyone else has good ideas to tack onto their plan.

Also, Sora really missed the ice cream here. You can never find it anywhere else!

They talked business for the first few hours, but, apparently, Lea claims they need a vacation (ignoring the fact they like, _just_ went to the Caribbean) and has barred any discussion of “the situation,” pushing them out the doors and demanding they go act like the feral, unhinged teenagers they are for a day.

(Privately, Sora thinks it’s just an excuse so he can spend time with Isa. The way they looked at each other—there was something so fond in their gazes, an exchange of words without speaking, an easy, casual familiarity to them that speaks of deep friendship and maybe more.

Kind of like him and Riku, you know? Comfortable.)

So here they are, a day trip out to town, unceremoniously pushed in front of the coffee shop with a _ta-dah._

“This is our friend Riku we told you about!” Xion says happily. Sora-as-Riku waves.

 _You’re making me do all the heavy lifting,_ Sora complains.

 _I’m here as moral support. I can come out whenever you need me to. It’s not like we can’t just_ do _that,_ Riku huffs back.

That’s true. Switching hearts has become as easy as passing a baton, after all that training. It’s near-seamless now with no exhaustion period. Especially now that their Keyblades aren’t acting up, it’s even better!

It’s definitely interesting, figuring out how to work together. Frankly it’s amazing how well they do it; they’ve always worked well in battle together, but he never imagined it would translate so well to the same _body._

Riku seems to share the same sentiments yet isn’t surprised by them—he knew they’d work together well, because it always has between them. The bond between them is proof enough.

“You’re Sora’s friend, right?” Olette says. “He always talked about you!”

“Ah, yes,” Riku says for them. Yeah, that's Sora alright, blabbing about his friends to everyone he meets. Hopefully it wasn't anything _too_ embarrassing.

Hayner leans in. “Is it true that he’s like…here? Right now? With you?”

Oh, good, Roxas kept them in the loop. “Yep! It’s good to see you guys again!” Sora cuts in brightly, and they all start at the abrupt change in voice and personality.

“Whoa, that’s freaky."

“Sora! Hi! We missed you!”

“What’s it like? Can you guys read each other’s minds!?”

Roxas jumps in before the situation spirals out of control. “We actually planned to do stuff today, you know,” he huffs. He drops his skateboard and scurries ahead, possibly to avoid the aura of idiocy lingering around them.

Olette glances at Riku-Sora with an inquisitive look. “Did something happen to your clothes? You look like you got into a fight.”

Riku looks down at the clothes the two of them picked out. A faded t-shirt, a light jacket, and a _very_ well-worn pair of torn jeans. “No, it came like this. I think it’s a style.”

“Oh…” is said in the same tone as if reacting to a cat dropping a dead lizard on her shoes.

“…what’s wrong with it?”

“It’s kind of…boring.”

“Hideous.”

“Lame.”

With every blunt, harsh critique, Riku gawks at the audacity. “It’s comfortable!”

Xion hmms. “I mean, maybe so, but she’s right, you usually wear…better outfits?”

Hayner nods sagely. “Yeah, dude, full offense, but it’s butt-ugly. You look like a country farmer that fell into his own tractor.”

Okay, _wow,_ that hit below the belt.

“We don’t have a lot of options. We’re running out of clothes that fit,” they say with a huff. “Haven’t had time to go shopping either with all this world-hopping saving-hearts deal going on.” It’s times like this they really need the magical fairies and their fantastic travel clothes with impeccable style—maybe they could stop at the Mysterious Tower once they get everything squared away here…

“Wait, wait, hold on—who are we talking to right now?” Roxas blurts, confused. “Your voices are all mixed up.”

They pause to think. Wait, they? Who’s the main one…?

Everyone stares at them as they—he? Him? Um—blink for a minute, before suddenly everything comes back in a _woosh._ “Riku. I’m—Riku. Speaking.”

“Are you okay?” Pence asks as Riku continues blinking rapidly with their eyes.

“Yeah, we’re fine,” Sora confirms after a second. “Sometimes it’s all—weird. We talk over each other and it all gets mixed up.”

“That sounds noisy. Man, how do you guys even sleep like that? I gotta have total silence or bust.”

“Says the guy who snores so loud it wakes the roosters outside, then they wake _us_ up while you sleep on,” Pence snorts.

“So wait, _can_ you read each other’s minds?”

Riku fiddles with their hair. “Kind of, yes.”

“Wow! And your voices? How do you do that? Like, I hear Sora sometimes, but then he sounds _different_ so I guess that’s you, Riku, that’s so weird how that works—”

“Pence, you’re going to talk their ear off.”

“I can’t help it! It’s so interesting!” Pence says, waving his arms around. “Can you do other voices besides your own?”

“Oh, uhh…”

Sora almost stops himself from laughing before he realizes that no one will hear him inside Riku’s mind and lets out a giggly snort. Riku’s _the worst_ at impressions and they both know it.

But Sora can’t help a good prank, so he just says in his best faux-Riku voice (which is really good and only getting better). “Sure can!”

This will probably bite him in the butt later as Riku gives Sora a betrayed _WHAT._ Pence’s eyes light up. “Really? Oh, man, I’ve been looking into the drama club, but that was always my one weakness. I could never get any voices right—can you give me some tips? I’ve been working on a few—"

Riku begs Sora to take over, but he’s suspiciously not available. The _jerk._

Many bad impressions and hurried speed walking later, they reach the clothing store with a relieved sigh as finally everyone’s attention is dragged elsewhere from him.

Turns out, the trio love Riku. In their eyes, he’s quiet but smart, funny in dry humor, and steadily getting cooler by the minute.

Sometimes Sora pops in, to which everyone impresses over the appearance of such a radically different bright, cheerful, bouncing personality in the same person. They already deemed Sora to be extremely cool, so all he needs to do is relax and act like himself, which is far from a hardship.

 _Still need me to take over?_ Sora teases, already knowing the answer. Because Riku’s having too much fun to stop now. When was the last time he just hung out in a town and done normal teen things like going to the mall? Probably never.

Although he kind of wishes he had taken up Sora’s offer when they drag him into a clothing store. Once again, though, Sora’s _leave a message at the beep_ rings.

Surprise surprise, it doesn’t stop him from jumping in when he’s forced into the changing rooms holding the most random assortment of clothing he’s ever seen.

 _Try the jeans!_ Sora suddenly says, arms picking up a baggy monstrosity with ends as wide as a frisbee.

 _Oh,_ now _you decide to show up,_ Riku mocks. Also, _no_ , because those jeans are a hideous tripping hazard, no matter how much Sora likes baggy clothes.

_You’re no fun!_

It’s quite the battle of wills—Sora vetoes Riku’s choices and vice versa, even though its _technically_ Riku’s body and he can do what he wants—

Sora complains at him about working together as a team and _looking_ good together as a team, claiming that his judgement is for Riku’s own good. Riku can only laugh at that, which sends Sora into a fit of giggles as well.

Every time they leave the changing room, the kids from Twilight Town shake their head and make suggestions that everyone argues over. They must have gone through half the store by this point.

“Ugh, nothing’s working!” Olette mourns. “None of them fit right!”

“It clashes horribly,” Pence agrees.

Judging by the metal shredding noises in the distance, Roxas and Hayner are probably off in another aisle doing kickflips off the stands. They don’t have much longer until they’re kicked out.

Sora crosses their arms. “We’re having a style disagreement.”

“Is that all? Can’t you make up your minds?”

“You want to look nice for someone, don’t you?” Olette asks knowingly. Immediately, their face blushes, and that’s all Riku because he has a hair trigger for these things.

“Uh—no, well—I don’t know! Clothes are all the same!” Riku says, throwing up their hands and furiously ignoring the knowing looks people give him. _Including_ Sora.

Suddenly, Xion turns a corner, running and holding a bundle of clothes. “Try these on! Quick! I saw an employee hunting down Roxas, we don’t have much time!”

“Ugh, _fine,_ but it’s the last one!”

And, looking in the mirror of the changing room—okay, okay yeah, maybe this could work.

It satisfies Riku’s tastes of light, breathable fabric and Sora’s need for comfort clothes. Both of them enjoy the sturdy tank top and the loose-fitting yet not too baggy pants. The shoes are large but not overly so—easy to run in, and with high tops to protect the ankles.

Blue and red highlights seem to clash normally, but with the addition of yellow accents, it just blends in and adds a little extra flair to the whole design.

Looking in the mirror…well, they look _good._ Really, _really_ good.

Riku ruffles their hair to spike it some more. Their eyes, mixed colors swirling like a kaleidoscope, stare back appreciatively.

“We look _so good,_ ” Sora gushes, and Riku can’t help but agree.

They buy the clothes just as Hayner starts a fight with an employee in the display case and are subsequently kicked out.

 _You had a fun day, right, Riku?_ Sora questions as they say goodbye to Twilight Town as the sun goes down and turns the sky to its signature color.

“Today was…good. I had a really, really nice day. Thank you, Sora,” Riku says gratefully, and imagines holding Sora’s hand as they watch the last of the clouds go by.

After today, it’s up to Sora to decide where to go next. So far, the Heartless haven’t shown up, but maybe that’s just because they haven’t stayed long enough here to attract them.

Well, there's been no sight of their target here anyways, so it'd be better to move on now to avoid giving the Heartless a chance to plan an attack.

Sora closes their eyes and spins his hand around Naminés’ map of the worlds, randomly tapping a spot. They’ll find that creature soon, sure enough!

* * *

“I’m done talking with him.”

“Look, he isn’t really—” Sora pitches his voice low just in case any wandering brooms are listening in. “My favorite person either, but maybe he has some good advice?” He winces at his own words. They sound fake even to his own ears.

They’re in the Mysterious Tower, and Riku had just gotten in an argument with Yen Sid. Well, argument is a strong word. They went here for advice, Yen Sid talked around the issue, Riku confronted him, and now they’re fuming in one of the side rooms as Riku calms down and Sora remains amused at the whole thing.

Normally, he'd be upset that Yen Sid was treating them like they werent good enough to go alone on their own mission, and surprised at Riku's actions—Riku rarely defies respected authority, so seeing him on the verge of snapping to the Master was bizarre, but—kind of gratifying?

Okay, maybe _really_ gratifying. That was awesome.

Sora's not going to let the Master's words get to him, though. Not everyone needs to stick their opinion in their business, and they're not obligated to listen.

“He always dismisses you! Besides, you saw how confused he was. He already said he’s never heard of something like this. He has nothing more to say to us,” Riku says.

Sora messes with their jacket again. Kindly, the fairies had enchanted their clothes a little while ago when they expressed their thoughts on returning to the Dark Realm and fighting Heartless. The clothes feel sturdier already.

Yen Sid had said a firm ‘no way’ to their plan, and expressed to them that they should lay low until the problem is solved. That was another reason for the argument. Why is the man who threw them into the Mark of Mastery years too early suddenly wanting them to _lay low_ now of all times?

Besides, Sora already spent forever “laying low,” getting poked and tested and fawned over and hunted down and he had to do it _alone_ in Riku’s body, without answers.

And the mighty wise Yen Sid wants them to do it again? No thanks.

Sora might just be a little exasperated as well. He doesn’t even know why he’s trying to defend the Master; they’ve never seen eye to eye anyways.

He _is_ still worthy of respect, even if they aren’t on the same page, but it’s just—annoying, sometimes.

“I think he’s worried, maybe,” Sora reasons. “But he’s never been good at showing that.”

Riku sighs. “If he was worried, he would try and help more, not stifle us. I don’t care how well meaning it is. We’re plenty strong enough to travel. _You’re_ strong enough! Haven’t we waited enough?”

Sora can’t help it—he breaths out a little laugh. “You’re starting to sound like me! Where’s the oh-so-honorable Master Riku, huh?”

“He grew up and realized that he doesn’t need to follow all the rules to do good,” Riku grumbles, but he’s starting to crack too.

Sora stretches their arms high, reveling in the refreshing pull. Feels good to be moving! “So, we’re on the same page? Even if it’s stupid dangerous and crazy and messy, we’re going to be rebels and throw out the complaint jar?”

“We’re going to do this our own way,” Riku agrees.

An hour later, a few apologies and goodbyes, and they’re flying off to the next world.

* * *

In Halloween Town, they have fun at the Halloween celebration that was happening at the same time, coincidentally. The dates have just started flying by. Has it really been so much time?

Their friends from the Land of Departure met them there. Apparently, their reassuring messages and calls weren’t enough, and they just _had_ to see them in person to make sure they weren’t lost in space or something because they’re total worrywarts.

Vanitas and Rikuto are instantly enamored with the atmosphere. Darkness is everywhere here, but it never feels heavy like it does in its own realm. This town embraces the idea that darkness can be _fun,_ that it’s not always bad or evil or crass for once.

Like, the costumes for instance. Specifically Sora and Riku's costume.

Naminé giggles in her witch outfit as they argue over their shared outfit. Riku says it’s mortifying, while Sora finds it _absurdly_ cute. Because—

Werewolf ears, giant bat wings, pumpkin mask, _two_ sets of fangs, striped clothes—they’re the epitome of Halloween! How is that not cool?

(It’s also cool how the world-adapting magic recognized them as two souls and mashed their usual outfits to make something new. It reminds him of that time Terra showed him a book about combining magics to make new spells that use the traits of each to amplify the effects.

They weren’t entirely separate anymore. But, not entirely together? Not exactly?

Either way, Sora’s having fun exploring the worlds with his best friend as he always wanted, and he knows Riku feels the same way. All that complicated stuff can be figured out _later_ —can’t he just spend some time with the people he loves? The _person_ he loves?)

When the Heartless come, it’s almost too easy to take them out. The townspeople just think it part of the celebration and cheer them on as Ven wipes them out like tissue paper.

Sora tries to proclaim them the Pumpkin King at one point but slips and falls in the fountain, where he’s then demoted. Jack finds it hilarious and still gives them the medal for spookiest costume of the year, though!

* * *

In San Fransokyo, they lead a wild goose chase that lasts for two days straight with the Heartless.

Their body is stronger than ever and could probably keep going for a week if they wanted it to—that training in the Land of Departure did _wonders_ on them, their form finally adapting to its new situation and learning to work with the huge influx of energy it’s been given.

If they get exhausted mentally, one of them rests. If the Heartless get too overwhelming, they spiral out of there before the enemy can blink, hiding away until the shadows find them again.

And every time they do, the two of them only get better and better at fighting them off.

Riku smiles as he sees the increasingly desperate attacks on them. Good. That creature is getting frustrated.

Hopefully they can draw it out of its own hiding space before long.

Up top the San Fransokyo bridge, they munch on an ice cream (half vanilla for Riku, half chocolate for Sora, as a compromise) and watch as the purple-eyes prowl in the shadows under the dark bridge. It’s sort of funny to watch. They can barely sense them from up here! Sora was right when he said nobody bothered looking up.

Hiro glances down and spots what they see. “Oh, they found you again? Need any help?”

Riku shakes their head. “Nah. We’re trying to figure out how long it’ll take for them to look up.” The Heartless have only eyes for them, after all, so he’s not afraid of civilians getting hurt.

Baymax starts a stopwatch at their request. Twelve minutes and thirteen seconds later, they’re laughing and taking pot shots at the alerted Heartless scrambling up the beams.

The only reason they head out in the end is to piss them off even more. Riku wonders how long it’s going to take for them to find the two of them again. Seriously, their tracking skills are only getting worse and worse!

* * *

Of course, things don’t always go as planned.

In Arendelle, they have a bad landing in the middle of a blizzard and are stranded trying to wait it out. Like they can sense weakness, the Heartless arrive way, _way_ sooner than they expected.

“A ship must have followed us or something!” Sora huffs. They’re shivering non-stop, even with their thick coat. Born and bred islanders are _not_ meant to be wading in hip-high snowfields.

“I thought we checked the radar!”

“Well, nobody’s perfect!” Ugh, the storm is so _loud_. Is it ever going to calm down!? He can barely hear his or Riku's thoughts!

Their ship abandoned long ago, they take quick cover in a rock outcropping and send an Aero to wipe out any traces of their boot prints. Hopefully the blizzard is strong enough to wipe out their scent, too.

In the whites of the landscape, at least blacks and purples stand out easily. Not much chance for shadows to sneak up on them.

“Alright, what supplies did we bring?” Riku asks. Sora tugs the pack down from their arm. It’s the smallest one they own because it was the one closest to the door, all they managed to grab before the ambush.

Frankly, it’s miserable. They sadly stare down at it and pick up a half-full bag of trail mix and one flare, staring at the other meager assortments within. “…We’ll have to make it work.”

By the time the blizzard ends, they’re no closer to figuring out where the monster’s hiding, and they stumble into Arendelle Castle with more than a minor case of frostbite, but hey! At least they gave those annoying Heartless a run for their munny!

Sora wants to celebrate with sno-cones but Riku just shakes his head and leads them over to a warm noodle stand, which—oh, yeah, _much_ better idea.

Riku can’t help but think of it as a date just as much as Sora does. The broth warms them up almost as much as the warmth on their cheeks do from the intimacy of their minds.

* * *

In the Kingdom of Corona, they spend an entire day zipping through the pop-up markets and shops, drooling over the pastries and fiddling with the trinkets.

It’s not that time of the year for the lanterns, which is kind of a bummer, but there is a nice mini-festival which explains all the shops.

Riku tries to save their munny, he really does, but when Sora insists on stopping at a stall because “Kairi would _love_ that pin, look at it, isn’t it cool—it's totally her style, and I owe her something really nice! Do you think she’ll like it? What else do you think she'd like—" well, there’s no stopping him.

By mid-day, they’ve already blown most of their munny on gifts for all their friends. Oh boy.

“Riku! Let’s dance!” Sora encourages as he points to the middle of square, music full swing.

He digs their heels in. “No way.”

“C’mon, weren’t you the one who wanted to beat me at dancing for once?” Sora pouts. “This is your chance to prove me wrong!”

“Dancing video games are much different than what I took.” Ballet is nowhere close to the jitterbugs and jives he sees in the square. He’s going to look like a fool!

“Not really!”

“How would this even work? If you don’t remember, Sora, we’re sharing the same left feet.”

“I’ll show you!” And then their feet start moving despite his best efforts to keep them still.

 _Sora!_ Riku growls, but it’s too late—Sora hands them over to the crowd just as he takes back control.

The jiving is intense, and fast, and _dizzying._ Riku never learned these steps, his dancing was nothing like this, this is something else, crazy and chaotic and—

And yet, with Sora cheering him on, he starts to—adapt.

_You’re doing it!_

Dancing in their hearts versus dancing in a crowd is different, so different, but maybe that isn’t such a bad thing.

Hey, maybe this isn’t as hard as it looks. Actually, with Sora cheering him on, it’s even—it’s even starting to get fun.

He leads a brown-eyed man into a dip before being spun away to his next partner. “Aren’t you going to try?” he pants.

Smooth as silk, Sora hops and skips his way in, and people flock to them as he boogies down. Riku should be relieved he can take a break, but—really? Sora’s the better dancer in real life too? Even though Riku’s the one with experience?

No _way_ is he going to let that happen.

Like most things between them, it becomes a competition. Who can spin the most, who gets the most cheers from the crowd, who does the lowest dip without falling—it’s total chaos. It’s insane. It’s _so much fun._

The crowd parts at one point to let them have a large space in the middle to do their own tricks, a one-man dance, none the wiser to the fact that it’s actually two people swinging to their own shared tune.

And even though this is a totally serious competition, _totally,_ they cannot stop laughing the entire time.

 _I wish I could dance with you,_ Sora says dreamily. _Like we do in our hearts, but here._

They’d stay longer enjoying the festivities, but the dance is cut short when Riku catches a whiff of shadows approaching. Grabbing a pastry on the way out of town, they head to the woods with music still waltzing through their minds and a pep in their step.

* * *

In Beast’s Castle, they make a kickass stir-fry. Well, Sora’s mostly the one making it because he’s the one with all the cooking knowledge Little Chef taught him.

Riku watches him lead and compliments how it looks so far. They switch so easily now it’s as natural as breathing; Sora can hop in while cooking, flip a pan of stir-fry, let part of Riku slip in to grab the plates with his unoccupied hand, and finish plating it together.

Nice and calm, compared to the craziness their lives have been recently. Why can’t it always be like this?

Eh, they’d get bored with the peaceful life after a while, probably, but maybe one day…settling down, having a home together? That’s a nice dream to have.

Belle shows them all the cool hidden rooms in the castle Sora missed on his first visit, which they use to corner Heartless whenever they manage to sneak in.

So far, it seems like the Heartless are only able to enter worlds at specific locations, and only a few at a time. A small group comes to the world as scouts until they find them, then more show up, and finally a whole army appears within a few hours.

Maybe the creature still has limited control over the Heartless? Sometimes when they bash in the shadows hard, their eyes flicker between yellow and purple like it just can’t decide.

 _Maybe there’s a way to dispel the creature’s influence over them?_ Riku suggests.

Huh. Now there’s an interesting idea.

Sora grins. That would make the creature go _ballistic_ , he bets.

* * *

In the Land of Dragons, they perfect their technique.

A quick call to Aqua in between worlds is all they need to get her thinking. _“Dispelling influence? Hm…”_

Riku taps their hands in a familiar rhythm. He’s been feeling extra fidgety lately. Every fight is like a shot of adrenaline straight in his veins, and it’s kind of an amazing feeling even if it makes him jittery.

Sora plays cute, but Riku knows he’s the likely culprit. All of Sora's high-energy being channeled through Riku is a serious force of nature, and an exhilarating buzz.

He doesn’t mind in the slightest. Being around Sora is just that much of a good influence on him.

Influence…he pauses at that thought. “Actually, if there is a technique like that, will it affect me and Sora?”

Aqua shakes her head on the little phone screen. _“Not likely, no. Although yes, it is similar. But what you too have seems far more permanent than that. If even a simple hit can knock one a little out of control, the Heartless are obviously a weak link. You two though, well, you two have already gotten into far more dangerous situations and only come out stronger.”_

His mind trails back to that folklore book. Merging. Is that the permanence she was talking about?

Sora seems to ease at the thought. “Good to hear!” To Riku, he whispers, _Stronger, see? Even the Heartless know it!_

Sora’s always been the stronger one out of the two of them. Though Riku still holds the most wins in their casual rivalry, and it’ll stay that way if he can help it. The competition will never end between them, and that’s another promise he'll swear by.

 _“The only spell I can think of is Confuse,”_ Aqua says. _“Though it’s not a very strong spell on its own. Combined with another, however, and it might help with your dispelling problem.”_

Tapping their chin, Riku stares down at the table. Hm, he’s not too familiar with the spell, but he knows Sora is.

“I know a way to hit them with a confusion strike, but that’s not for many enemies,” Sora says. “But, Riku knows stuff like that!”

If they can manage to modify it a bit to make it hit in a wider range, it just might help knock out large crowds. Sora’s right, though; he probably does have a technique that can do that, if he thinks about for a minute.

 _This_ is why they’ve always been known as a deadly force in battle. They compliment each other so well. From both their hearts, they only feel _pleased_ at how well this is working, how easy this all is. Even now he can still hear their song, and in such a casual moment, too. They don’t even need to be in their hearts to hear it anymore, it’s just _there_ whenever they want to hear it together.

And then, the idea. Riku smirks. “In our dream worlds, there was this one move I learned from a winged friend of mine…”

The second the Heartless land in the bamboo forests of the Land of Dragons to hunt them down, they’re greeted with a confusion-drain-dive from above, sending shock waves rippling through the ground where Riku struck and Sora fired off the confusion.

Their eyes stay yellow permanently after that.

* * *

It’s the Keyblade Graveyard where everything comes to a head, as most things do.

Sora avoided that place like the plague on their map. If he never saw that desert again, it would be too soon. Every time he so much as thinks about it he just—he locks up. He hates even the very thought of it, memories assaulting him painfully.

But it was the absolute last place they looked. They’ve checked every nook and cranny in every other world in the Realm of Light. Even the Sleeping Realm held no answers—though that was a great trip, their Dream Eaters were over the moon excited to see them.

So, if the creature isn’t here, there’s only one last place to look…the Dark Realm. They tighten their lips at the thought.

No way do they want to go back there.

The creature is still hiding, no matter how much they frustrate or bait or dispel its Heartless minions. Something has to give soon.

Riku glances down at their hands. Sora does too. That seems more common these days, the both of them syncing up movements. Less their own persons tugging for control and more acting in tandem.

They stand in the middle of the X where Kingdom Hearts first opened, surrounded by dusty winds and broken Keyblades.

Riku had to walk them here after Sora froze up the second their shoes kicked up the first wave of dust. He clearly wanted to push, to ask what was wrong and why Sora was closing off from him, but he only moved forward without a word, every step heavy. Knowing, maybe, that despite his reservations, this moment, the awaiting conversation—is a long time coming.

The air is unnaturally still in the battle-torn land. Sora’s heart is, too, all locked up tight like a dam holding back poisoned water.

And Riku’s worried, of course, but this is something Sora has to come to terms with at some point. He doesn’t know exactly what happened at the end of the war to make Sora become so tense and guarded whenever it’s brought up, but clearly they’ve missed something big.

Nightmares and trauma are universal for all the wielders, but when Riku eats Sora's dreams...nightmares have never tasted so sour.

When no response is forthcoming after a long, long time, Riku finally moves, gently nudging Sora where his heart is curled in his chest. Questioning.

There’s a shift, and a sigh. _A moment. I need—just another moment._

So Riku sits in the center of where it happened, crosses their legs and settles their hands in their lap, and lets their body slump. _Take as much time as you need._

There he waits, with Sora in their timeless mindscape, thinking and waiting and caring and drifting and—

Finally, slowly, their hands move. Their legs tuck up tight to their body. Neck cranes to the sunlit, dry sky.

“…What else happened here, that day?” Riku asks.

“It doesn’t—matter, not really. It didn’t really happen,” Sora says. His voice is quiet, though that’s not entirely true—it’s not really all _Sora’s_ voice anymore because Riku has the same one, deeper tones giving it new range.

The higher pitches still distinguish him to Riku, the same as the softer ones highlight his own. “It does matter. Especially if it’s affecting you this much, then it always matters.”

A gentle beat in their hearts.

“It’s so dumb. I fixed it, I fixed everything, but—I still see it when I fall asleep, or when I see someone hurt, or in lakes and puddles and dark corners. Why do I _still see it?”_

Riku tightens their lips. Maybe if they weren’t thrown into a deadly war from the time they were children, they wouldn’t be left with such deep scars.

Just as Sora is haunted by his demons, Riku has his own. He feels it in his wrist in rainy weather and relives it in sweat-soaked dreams neither of them remember well and sees it in tall figures with long pale hair.

But that’s what happened. And it sucks, and he _hates it_ , hates what others did to them to hurt them this deeply it will never leave. This is a part of them now.

But they can help each other. They have that beautiful, magical comfort for as long as they have each other. The one that proves they can handle anything and everything thrown their way.

Sora knows this. Sora feels this, right now, pouring from Riku

Like fingers slowly unclasping one by one, the tightly-guarded memories start leaking through.

— _one by one, picked off, taken,_ killed, _they’re gone they’re all gone they’re all gone THEY’RE GONE—_

— _what do I do I can’t do anything I’m useless I’m just the fake I’m not strong enough on my own I’m never strong enough I’m going to fail they will die I will fail and die and have nothing, NOTHING—_

— _“You don’t believe that”—_

— _for him he did it for him, for him? Him, Sora, the useless stand-in, who can’t protect his friends_ — _right in front of him, all his strength, his bright light, he stood there and_ protected me _in that sea of shadows_ , _why why why why I don’t deserve it I don’t_ — _not him, please, don’t take him too I can’t do this alone PLEASE DON’T—_

_Only one more chance._

_I have to make this one count—_

And Riku sees it all with wide, wide eyes, a gasp in his voice as the last secret between them is revealed to him.

He—Sora had…he’d given up. An impossible concept, but it happened, their friends being whisked away to leave him alone, aching, powerless, _hurt._

Even though Riku doesn’t remember that moment, from that dark, other reality, he knows without a doubt what he had thought then, his reasoning for walking into that blazing tornado with his head held high.

_(I have to give Sora his hope back.)_

And he did. He did, and now they’re here.

Because Sora saved them.

Sora waits, clenching their hands in the dust, waiting, expecting—what? He doesn’t know. Will Riku be angry? No, no he wouldn’t…Sora’s angry at himself. Even though it’s fine now. It’s all _fine._

Stop being dumb! Stop, stop—

“You always manage to amaze me, Sora” Riku smiles. “Just when I think I know everything about you, you’re full of surprises. I love you so much.”

_What—_

“None of this is your fault. _Nothing._ Without you, we wouldn’t be here. We wouldn’t be the people we are today. Think of all the hearts that would have been lost without you. But we care about you, not because of what you did or didn’t do, but because you’re _you._ How could you think you’re anything less then splendid?”

Splendid. Amazing. True and brave. And it’s all honest, because the heart doesn’t lie. Riku isn’t lying.

“You taught me to not be so hard on yourself. It goes both ways, you know.”

A few thin tear tracks are drying on their face, steadily relaxing, Their body raises from it’s slump, beginning to stand tall again.

“…You’re right?” It’s phrased as a question. Sora feels scratched raw and overexposed but, gradually—less transparent. More solid. More real.

Riku lets the sun evaporate the last of their dark, vagrant memories and lets his heart do the talking.

_Right._

Closing his eyes, Sora smiles and presses their hands to the ground, sending a quick thank you to whoever’s listening, and takes in the sight of the rocky, dusty landscape, no longer an empty place of fear.

This is real. They’re real, they’re together, and they can do anything.

“Right!” Sora stands up. “Let’s keep looking, then! We're close, I just know it!"

Just as he says that, the ground starts shaking. They stumble.

 _An earthquake?_ Riku wonders.

That doesn’t make sense—the Graveyard is known for dust storms, not quakes, and this one is so abrupt it starts splitting the dry ground almost immediately. That’s not natural. That means— _that means—  
_

The ground splits open.

From the belly of the earth, a creature with a long, long, scaly body rises with a roar, massive teeth glinting and glistening eyes seeking.

A bright glowing purple they know all too well reflects in that furious gaze.

_“YOU!”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’ve been keeping the POV pretty separate for the whole story so far, but this chapter I started doing both Sora and Riku omnipotent POV’s for some parts. I think it fits with the plot ;)
> 
> Shout out to all you lovely readers, I adore you so much <3 only a few chapters left!!


	11. Constellations

“I finally, _finally_ found you vermin!” the creature growls, body rising out of the pit—and rising—and it just _keeps rising._

From Riku’s memories, the place he first met the creature was dark and shadowed. There were teeth and scales and eyes but all you could tell, really, was that it looked big, mean, and nasty in the dark. His brain just filled the rest of the horrifying details in.

Here, though? They’re seeing this creature in broad daylight.

It’s—it’s absolutely insane.

First of all, it’s _massive._ Their neck aches from how high it has to crane, the shadow the creature casts on them stretching far behind them. It must have a hundred eyes clustered on its face alone, some sprinkled on its purple-blue scaled body, _gross,_ blinking wetly. The teeth go on for miles, razor-sharp and unnaturally white.

Fins ribbon out from it in fleshy tendrils, fluttering in the nonexistent breeze. The ones near the back rattle like a snake.

They grit their teeth at the spike of pain the memory of seeing this creature induces. Instead of magnetizing them in agony, though, it fades in the next moment.

No. They won’t be held captive by their thoughts any longer.

Their walls are broken, shattered into dust between them, free of memories and secrets and doubt and fear. And it’s _freeing._

A strangely white snake tongue tastes the air, almost ghostly. “So long, I have searched. So long you have evaded me! You filthy _weasels!”_

“You’re the weasel! Who do you think you are? To keep me away from my friends, my family? No!” Sora yells back.

“Do not speak to your Mother that way!”

Cringing heavily, Sora winces as Riku nearly flies off the handle at _that_. He takes a few deep breaths for them to calm down—now is not the right moment to strike, but _oh how he wishes it was._

This creature must be out of its mind to think of them as _children._

 _That’s—_ so _creepy, eugh!_

“I fixed it! I fixed your light! Until that _rat_ you so care for stole you away!” it says. “I was so kind. I wanted to keep you so much! But I was kind and saw all that misery in your other star and I gave you up. A deal! I made a deal just like humans do! But humans are _liars!_ Humans say they care for stars, yet _I_ am the one who has to fix them when they break them! So cruel! So savage! And yet me, I am the monster?”

“I did make that deal. I won’t lie, I made up my mind when we made it, and I thought it was a sure thing as much as you did,” Riku says. “But you keep underestimating hearts. You think that all they need to be okay is to add some glue and call it fixed. They need care. They need others. They need life!”

“I give that! I am enough! I am all you need!” it cries. “Do you not see?”

“I see that you’re trapping good people under your wing just so you can feel some semblance of emotion in that cold, slimy heart of yours,” Riku bites out.

In the next breath, Sora speaks with calm blue eyes that can see through even an opaque concrete wall. “…But that’s not true, is it? I see that you’re lonely. That you’re hurting. That you want to do good in the world but don’t know what you’re doing wrong, and that hurts.”

It flinches, fins shivering as its pupils all twist in different directions. “Lies. More lies!”

But Sora’s on a roll, and with Riku a warm presence supporting him, he can’t stop now, can’t look away from their reflection in its biggest purple-tinged eye. “I’m sorry about the deal. I was the one who went back on it, not Riku. But I don’t regret it. I just—I can’t be without him. I missed my friends. I missed Riku. It’s like—there’s this big empty hole in my chest when I couldn’t feel our bond, and I didn’t want to be without it.”

He presses a hand to their chest with a fist. “I’m like you. I can’t leave people to suffer alone. Because I know the feeling, and I know how much it hurts. I want to pay back the favor—for them saving me from hurting in the first place. With them, I feel strong. I feel invincible. When I know they’re in pain, I want nothing more than to help. I love them. I love Riku. But…” he trails off. “Because I love them, I also let them go when— _smothering_ them is a source of their pain.”

“It is not safe! Stars die if they are left to roam! Are you blind? Are you brain-stupid?”

“He’s the smartest man I know,” Riku says. “He knows what he’s talking about. Even if it’s dangerous, or frightening, or worrying, you have to trust in them or else they’ll never _be_ safe. They’ll never be happy.”

“Happy! Out there? Empty? _Broken?_ A mistake. That is a mistake. You fools.”

“Maybe. Maybe not. We make mistakes, sure. But we move on from them. We let them go. We grow stronger from each challenge we face no matter the risk. And once we’ve healed from our pain, we let it go. That is what makes our hearts strong alongside our bonds. That was a hard lesson I had to learn. One that you refuse to leave in the past where it belongs.”

The creature is no longer baring its teeth or flaring its scales. It just wavers in its spot, unsure, confused, as they stand resolute with one heartbeat between them.

A glimmer flashes in its gaze, something knowing in it. “A-h. I seeeee. You were both one star split apart. That is why you were incomplete! You did not know, that is why the deal! Why the same pain! Ah, so funny! I was foolish to separate you.”

Now it’s their turn to be confused. “Huh?”

With one fin, it flicks at their chest. “Here! I see your heart. You are less and less two. Soon, you will be one, as you were meant to be. But do not fear, for I will protect you.”

“That’s not what we want! Weren’t you listening? Like hell you are!”

It cackles in way that grates on their nerves, crushed and gravely and spitting. “This is why you are the brightest of my stars. Your energy! Your life!” Its voice drops dangerously. “I cannot let such beauty burn away. No!”

They shake their head, their Sora-half flipping through all the ways to reason with this thing while the Riku-half is already holding a hand out for a Keyblade, expecting.

In their minds, they huddle close, hearts burning.

_We have to fight._

A sigh. _I know. I know. There’s no other way, is there?_

_It’s going to be tough._

_If anyone can knock sense into it, though…it’s us._

There’s hope in that. And that’s all they need.

With a defiant look, they steady their posture in a fighting pose, displaying with every movement that this is serious. They will not back down.

“You dare defy me? You dare not trust my wisdom?” Its teeth flash in the broad daylight. “I shall teach you a lesson, then.”

Before they can blink, a tendril they didn’t catch before grabs them by the ankle, and with the beginnings of a scream they’re tugged into the ragged split of earth the creature broke through, sinking into a starry-black night.

Drowning, dark, dizzying, drifting—cold, dark, _spinning, drifting, drifting—_

Yet their hearts never let each other go.

* * *

They blink.

Purple. Everywhere they see, the world is tinted purple. Dark violet clouds shadow the sky, leading down, down, to the light lavender staining the horizon line. There is no sun, yet the sky is still lit up with a meager spray of light. Rock pillars spike from the flat ground and when they take steps, their boots splash in the fine layer of water covering the land.

…The Final World?

They sniff the air. No…this is somewhere more sinister. Heavier, with a confining air.

_(It runs like prisms on their tongue.)_

From Sora’s memories, another thought spills forth. Reminding him of a similar purple sky, a dark presence—a place he thought to be the End of the World. Where destroyed hearts of broken worlds come to fade away.

Ball lightning floats gently in the air above them, hissing gently in their charged sparks. They reach out to touch them before thinking better of it. Probably not a good idea to touch live wires.

What’s strange is that instead of blue-white, these balls glow pink.

They quickly realize why when they look closer.

Encased in each of the stormy ropes, a heart is nestled. Hundreds of them floating in the air around them, circling the sea and electrifying the breeze.

“This must be its home,” Riku says with surprise. "I don't remember this, though."

“I think I was here once, in my first journey. But it doesn't look the same,” Sora recalls. Maybe he was elsewhere, on a different half of the plane? There’s no portal or snow or mountains or vortexes. It’s creepily barren.

Gently, they wave at the air around the heart, watching how it moves. “Are these…the hearts it keeps?”

“Or the ones that got misplaced and ended up here.”

If worlds come here to meet their end, it’s not too big a leap to guess that hearts might get lost along the way once in a while.

Especially if a certain sea dragon was purposefully stealing them away to here.

All of a sudden, the hearts begin crackling, floating and converging on a spot in the water rippling vigorously. With a crashing _splash,_ the water parts like the tides, as the leviathan from the Lanes Between spills from the gash and roars into the sky.

The wound marring the reflective surface closes fast, the creature soaring into the lilac sky. With quick, fluttering movements, the dragon lands a little way away from them, eyes piercing.

They don’t back down.

“Welcome to my home, children.”

“This isn’t the fog-covered street,” Riku questions.

“That is because your precious star was lost elsewhere. I found that one in a Lane Between, where I met you.”

Sora clenches their fists. “So you _do_ steal hearts!”

It flares its wings. “I _save._ There, they are trapped. Here, they are free!”

They glance at the spot the creature emerged, where the lightning balls turn the water pink with their glow as they circle the area. There’s a sudden pain in their chest, a gasp—Sora’s heart, ever compassionate, listening to the quiet wails of the hearts who want nothing more than to go home, lonely and trapped and worried.

Doesn’t this creature feel it? Can’t they hear it?

 _Hearts never sing for me._ That’s what it told Riku.

No wonder, then, they want to leave. Being here, safe as it may be—it’s not _living_ , it’s only surviving.

“My brightest star,” it coos. “Do you not like it here? Is it not safe?”

“It’s not about being safe. It’s about freedom, true freedom, not whatever twisted freedom you think they’re entitled to,” Riku states firmly.

If Riku had never went to find him, Sora would have been stuck here, forever, never more than a pile of glued shards and woeful songs, slowly burning away to ash. Without freedom, without the warmth from his friend’s hearts, he would have shriveled up—but this thing can’t see a foot past its massive snout and refuses to accept that!

_It’s not going to listen to us._

_Maybe…it’s trying to find a purpose by caring for these hearts, but it’s going about it all the wrong way!_

Maybe, very deep in its heart, the creature cares—it had saved Sora, after all, that much they can be grateful for—but in its current mindset, there’s no convincing that bullheaded logic of its that what it’s doing is the right thing. Even if it hurts them, it will still be doing the “right thing” in its mind. How can you reason with someone like that?

Answer: you don’t.

So they’re tired of trying to talk sense into it. Clearly words alone are not enough to convince it. They have to show this creature the strength of freedom. What being together with the hearts you love truly means.

“I will keep you happy. You will fear for nothing. So why, _why_ do you wish to return?”

They hold out a hand, speaking as one. “You’re wrong about everything. No matter how dangerous, how difficult it might be, I will always find a way back to the people I love. I’m keeping my _promise,_ no matter what!”

_We’ll always follow our hearts home._

A blinding flash of light surrounds their hand, and in it, a Keyblade.

 _Their_ Keyblade.

Midnight blue and golden yellow, slowly converging to teal-green and periwinkle-pink on the handle, now one instead of two. The paopu charm is connected on a deep red string, the blade humming to them softly, intertwined with their fate just as tightly woven as that rope.

The power of it reverberates through them, attuning to their hearts and melding to match the sweeping melody.

A complete symphony, in balance, in tune, in composition.

In perfect harmony.

The creature’s eyes dilate. “What weapon? This energy…” with a tongue flicker in the breezeless air, it leans in close. “You dare to fight? You _dare?_ Fine then, terrible stars—I shall force you to see the error of your ways!"

“I’d like to see you try!”

The tail lashes out again, a speedy-quick glint of blue-purple-silver, but they’re _ready_ this time, smoothly sweeping to the side as it splashes down. _Predictable._

“Ha, I guess you can’t teach snakes new tricks,” they smirk.

Like a jump-rope, they leap as it sweeps low to trip them, and with one lifting of their blade seven Firagas launch out, one of each multicolored hue.

Bursts of fire explode, sending rainbow smoke spewing across the field. By the time it clears, the creature is blinking the ash out of its eyes as it searches for them.

It snaps its teeth. “Hiding again, are we?” It snaps fins in the ground like roots.

Rumbling, and then spikes of ice shoot from the ground, extending high in the misty sky.

Hidden behind a pillar, they side step the spike that rises under them with an accidental yell, revealing their hiding spot. The ice follows the sound, twisting and curling from the sky to point down, _down—_

_Keep moving, let’s go, c’mon!_

At the last minute, they dig their blade in the ice, and when another spike goes in for poke they poke it right back and launch themselves at the creature. _Booyah!—_

In a blur, it vanishes, appearing on the pillar they just left with a judgmental eye. “Pre-dict-able!”

“Oh yeah? Want to say that to our face?”

The rocks shake slightly under the force of its voice. “Ugh! Annoying! You hide so well. Until your hearts were not sleeping, you were gone from my all-sight. I even had to use those nasty shadow-beasts to track your stardust trail! So gross!” It whines. “Not pretty!”

“Wow, that sounds like _such_ a hardship.”

“Is that—mocking!?”

Taunting the powerful demigod who’s trying to kill you is probably not one of their best moves. The way it tears up the earth in response and tosses boulders at them is proof of that.

One of the sharp rocks clips them in the leg, and they grunt as they hit the ground hard. Another comes flying—“Cure!” they shout, voice squeaky, and dodge roll out of the way as the pain abates.

Though, not completely.

The old wound in Riku’s side burns, muscles sore. It was already strained earlier this week after a bad fall in Deep Jungle. They grit their teeth and hang on, a mantra of _keep going, keep going,_ running through their shared mind.

On top of that, their chest _burns—_ wasn’t Sora healed all the way? And Riku? So why do the still-rough edges of their hearts cut? It shouldn’t hurt if they were okay!

They skid on the reflective surface with a splash, though no water wets their socks strangely enough. “We need to focus on finding it’s weak spots,” Riku grits. “It’s too strong to face it head-on. If we don’t put our all into this—”

All sounds are suddenly cut off by the jaunty tune of the Gummiphone ringtone blaring in their pocket.

Across the battlefield, the creature squints all its eyes. “What is that sound!?”

Sora groans, dumbstruck. “Seriously? _Now?_ We get reception in the middle of an _alternative dimension outside of time and space_ but not two hours away from one planet? You’ve gotta be—"

Sora keep ranting in their head while Riku answers the creature. “None of your business!”

“Is this some trick? A joke? What weapon is this sound?” it shouts. “No, I shall not wait for your move! Suffer!”

As Riku moves their body like the wind to avoid the slam of the milky flesh-claws into the darkened ground, Sora tugs their phone out of the pocket one-handed and picks up.

“Not the best time!”

“ _Fellas? What’s going on? Where—you?”_ The receiver crackles. It sort of sounds—that sounds like the King!

“The—is Donald and Goofy there?” There’s a distinct quack and a familiar _hyuck_. “Hey guys! Do you remember that place in Hollow Bastion where—hold on.”

Riku blocks a Venus flytrap looking arm by shoving their Keyblade between its teeth. Sora fires an explosive spell in its mouth and listens as it screeches.

“—before Sora fought creepy old Ansem and after the last keyhole in his—or, _mine,_ I’m mostly Sora right now, ha—first adventure, there was that purple place with all the rocks and the water? Yeah, I think we got teleported there by _the Mother of all Heartless!”_

“Heartless!? You dare call me one of those slimy, sniveling _brain-less minions?_ DIE!” the Mother howls so loudly the ground ripples with the force of it.

They grit their teeth and dig their heels in. “We’re having some trouble here!”

“ _Hollow—the castle, is the portal still—”_ the crackles are getting bad. At least they heard him, though! “ _Hang on, guys! We’ll bring help! Is there any way—”_

So distracted by the promise of help, they almost forgot the gigantic creature they were fighting.

It knocks the phone right out of their hands and shatters it in the murky waters.

For a moment, they freeze. That was…that was their phone. Their last phone. Their last line of communication off this plane. With the last of all the pictures and videos they’ve ever taken of each other. All those memories, that wonderful screensaver of them together, those cute text messages…

And this—this creature, this _monster destroyed them._

Slowly, their head rises. “You’re going to regret that.”

That last glimpse of their screen before it broke—smiling, together, a promise to keep, _I won't fail you again—_ sends Riku's soul burning. The aches heal. They stand tall.

_The stalwart Master and the Hero of Light._

Everything relaxed about them, trying to carefully meter their magic and talk strategy—blanks. Their racing hearts calm. The creature barely has time to blink half its eyes before they’re upon it, and not expecting it, it takes a hit right into the center of its body with all their strength.

Despite its massive size, it _sails._ It crashes through a pillar of rock far from them with an explosive shatter and sends a hail of dust swirling over the still water.

No holding back now. No time to worry. No space for fear. They don’t need to talk or think or do anything but _act,_ to feel their next move and understand completely, to not overthink, to know their limits and strength and _push past it_ because they can, they can do this, they can—!

Somewhere in their hearts, something _clicks._ In their hands, their Keyblade glows, colors shifting to one unified light.

In their minds, they become a mind of their own.

A roar. Suddenly, the Mother slithers up, propelling itself into the air with its flexible tendrils. Spitting, its mouth foams black before globs of sizzling acid are launched in their direction. A quick Reflect, a dash, and a leap, they sail towards the creature with a yell of their own.

Blocking, avoiding, snaps of teeth, clashing of blade and fang. Acid, fire, thunder, water. Under them, thousands of hearts glow like fireflies in the night, watching and waiting.

And it’s almost impossible, it’s difficult, waiting for that moment, the right opening, the right time, will it ever, will they ever—

_There!_

“Back _off!_ ”

Another charged hit from above, infused with a kaleidoscope of writhing energy, their light so bright it _burns—_ the creature is sent hurdling down in a pillar crater as they _press it down as hard as they can,_

Just before they smash to the floor, it—glides, slipping from their grasp, body gelatinous and creepily squishy, _eugh._

They land on a knee just as the snake vanishes in the shadowed crater.

The walls glow faintly with that luminescent plankton he used to see on quiet island nights, washed up on the shores. Water pours from crevices and cracks and echoes in the hollow rock. The only pure light is from the murky sky in the crater ceiling, purple-dark-heavy sky encasing them in.

There’s a hiss from the corners, the sound of scales on stones. What is it doing? They can’t see _anything_ in this oppressive dark—

_Draw it out. Take the offensive. You got this. We got this._

They tighten their lips. Still on a knee, they lift their blade high and then snap it down over their leg, breaking it in two. The same power, just in two hands instead of one.

Carefully, they wait.

A flash. Tendrils sharpen to needle points from all directions, converging on their location, and—nope, not today, not going to happen!

With two blades, they can move quick, blocking with one and slicing with another, or propelling and casting, or bludgeoning _both—_

Furious growling echoes in the cavern, shaking the stones and rippling through the noisy waterfall. “Ob-nox-ious _beasts.”_ It hisses.

“Right back at ya,” they spit back.

It doesn’t seem keen on coming out to face them, taking shots to wear them down then slithering away before they can pinpoint it.

No wonder the creature is frustrated—this is the kind of goose chase they themselves led it on for months, after all!

But they can’t lose. They _won’t._ They need to make it understand. They need to return to the light.

If this is how the creature wants to act, fine. Then _they’ll_ go offensive now if it likes that so much!

With a powerful throw, one half of their Keyblade goes flying towards the wall. Just before it hits, a glowing string of light spills from the other half, grasping it tightly. A burst of light beams from the connected blades.

Swinging above their head, the blades circle, spinning light in every direction. Needles, acid, spits of fangs all try to knock them down, but the blade’s too fast now, a propeller growing faster and faster and glowing brighter and brighter as more and more strings of light reach out, grasping, holding, stronger together—

They let go.

The blades fly in the air and with the sound of a taunt string pulling, _snap_ back together.

Every corner of the cavern is illuminated in the sheer clean light. From the glistening water to the rocky crags to the leviathan curled round and round the walls, eyes closed against the overpowering sun as it hisses in pain.

Hand still raised, they gaze at the blade, _their_ blade, in wonder.

This is their strength. This is _who they are._

And nothing can take that away from them.

_“This is it!”_

Their combined hand calls the blade back to them. It only takes one swing.

Rock crumbles, voices screech, hearts sing—and the world turns white.

* * *

Crumpled in the water, the creature pants, exhaustion heavy and body bruised. A few tendrils try to move, only falling as they bend inwards.

Surrounded by the crushed remains of the crumbling island, they stand a few paces away, their Keyblade’s light slowly fading but no less complete, no less present.

This world is bright for once. That hazy purple glow now shines clear, the milky murk of the dark water purified.

“How… _how,”_ it pants. “How did you…you are not right. Not complete. _How!?”_

“Because you still don’t get it, do you?” they say. “I…we…are stronger together, not alone. More than you could ever imagine.”

“These hearts?” they gesture to the circle of light surrounding them from the hundreds of hearts. “They already have a home, and that's in the people who love them. You gave them a home, but in doing so you took away their will and their freedom. That's not what they need to heal. You can't isolate someone from all they love and expect them to get better. Even if they get hurt, you have to let them go and follow their hearts.”

Its eyes dull. “But they will burn…their beauty will perish…what will I do, with no stars in my sky?”

With a gentle hand, they rest one on its massive scaly body, fluctuating between hot and cold almost too fast to recognize the true temperature. “I want to thank you for your help. You helped Sora when no one else could. I met my friends again, when I thought I'd never see them again.

“You…thank me?” it says. “That is…hearts never…I have never heard…” a new shine enters its eyes, studying them with a new intensity. “You shine. Even in fear, in danger—even my most cared for star never shines so bright…I do not understand.”

“Listen to me. You gave these hearts a second chance. Now you need to let them go so they can live their second chance how they want to live it. Like how I’m living. And then you need to listen to what they have to say. Okay?”

The air is still, but—there, slightly, ever so slightly, there’s a breeze starting to drift over the water. The creature tilts its long head to the sky, closing its many eyes.

Themselves, they wait peacefully for it to make the right choice. All the time in the world is in their hands now.

“Ah, maybe I am the one who is wrong. Maybe…maybe I do not understand hearts as well as I had believed.” It murmurs. “Maybe…you are right.”

Finally, its eyes open, nearly pink in the glow of the surrounding hearts. “I will listen.”

The water droplets around its curled body begin to rise, first one or two, then a few more, then very many, slowly rising to the clouds. They take a few steps back as the droplets begin swirling under their shoes.

Circling its long body around the reverse rain, a smoky breath sinks over the water top from its snout, and with much less fanfare than the first time, the lake splits open to reveal a swirling portal embedded in the ground.

Slowly, the fizzling air quiets as the lightning chains around the hearts fade away.

The creature rests its head on its body as it watches the glowing hearts beat, still, exhaustion in its half-lidded eyes. Something anguished in them, if they had to place the emotion.

Slowly, the hearts begin drifting to the portal, and it closes its eyes once again—

Before snapping open with shock.

They gasp. Because—all around them, floating with the rain droplets in the light world, the hearts are—they’re _singing._

It’s a song unlike any other they’ve heard. It flows over them in an all-encompassing wave, strong and overwhelming in its intensity. Bells and windchimes, trumpets in pride, strings and woodwinds cresting at every beat, every robust chord, their voices reaching up, up, through every corner of the boundless plane and past the sky’s endless domain.

The mother remains transfixed as the hearts hum softly and one by one, gently, with a soft touch of gratitude, rest themselves on the creature’s body for just a moment. And then, all at once, they leave through the portal with a jubilant croon.

When the final heart vanishes, the chords still echo in their head softly.

_Wow…_

The creature’s head bows, eyes glassy.

“You have taught me a lesson today, hearts. I was selfish. I was in the wrong. I thank you, for showing me my errors. I think…I must find a new purpose. I, too, like those hearts, was trapped, and I did not know. Maybe I have forgotten whence I once came…it has been so long…”

“Don’t worry about it,” they wave off. “That song…that was really something, huh?” Even though their heartsong is still their favorite ever of all time…that was definitely a melody that will cling to them for the rest of their lives.

“Yes…yes it was.”

A moment of silence spreads, but comfortably this time, both of them settled in their spaces and happy in their roles. The mother opens its mouth to say something, beginning to uncoil with a sigh—

From the portal, there’s a glow.

“What’s—” they start.

From that portal, three red glows reappear, humming faintly—the song! These are a few of the hearts that just left! Why did they return?

“Stars?” the creature asks, bewildered.

The hearts choir loudly, dashing to the creature and circling around its head like annoying sprites. Luckily, the creature has many eyes to spare keeping an eye on them all.

_Ohhh. I think I understand!_

“I guess those ones found a home with you,” they say with a smile.

The mother blinks. “Me? A home? I am—still?” Affectionately, one of the hearts settles on its massive head, completely dwarfed but looking quite happy to be there.

“You wish to…?” the creature’s eyes go glassy again, speaking to the humming heart. “Yes. Yes, yes! You stay! You can stay! Yes, of course!”

Cheerfully bumping its head with the hearts, the leviathan looks to them with its head held high.

“Thank you. I think—I think, I can—love and happiness, yes? I do not know all…but I believe I understand some now. I must learn more.”

They nod. “You’ve got the basics. That’s all you need to run with really. All you need to do is listen and you’ll figure it out. I think our job here is done, then.”

“Yes, yes…oh!” Fins fluttering, it holds up a tendril as a ‘wait’ sign. “Your other’s body…sadly, I cannot do much. It did indeed perish in its journey from star to sky. Yet your missing heart…” It lifts a fin, and hidden under... “I kept safe. It belongs to you.”

The other half of Riku’s heart, dulled and split down the side like a bleeding wound, is dulled and jagged, so nearly shriveled they want to cry at the sight in their grasp—but in their grasp, finally rejoined, some of it’s glow _returns._

Hesitantly, as if asking permission, it floats to their chest, movements slow and tired.

_Found me. Found me…_

And with a burst of light, they are complete.

Energy suddenly rushes through their long-sore veins. That lingering-numb feeling from when they were two and switching between leaders— _vanishes_ completely. Their shared mindscape, that perfect place with that one single missing piece…the final shard snaps into place.

Any lingering aches, vanish, and their spine straightens as that painful crack in their chest—warms, cools, and _heals,_ easy as that.

They look down at their hands, flexing them idly, feeling the regained strength in them, the strange-familiar look to them—and then to the lake below.

Is that…is that _them?_

One eye, pure blue, like the deepest ocean in the brightest sky. The other, deep red, like the embellishments on Sora’s old jacket, like the wing in the Way to the Dawn.

The breeze is picking up, now, brushing their brown-silver hair in sweeps—and their _face,_ oh my god, it’s— _them!_

Never before have they felt so _right._

Their head no longer has that glassy barrier between them. Their memories, thoughts, feelings—it’s all become one. It’s _theirs._

They’re something new now. Sora and Riku are still here within them, their voices chattering and lifting over each other in shock, in amazement, in _wonder._ But they’re something new, too. A part of each of them is within him.

Laughing under their breath, they run a hair through their dark-light hair. This is crazy. This is seriously crazy!

But seriously, kind of awesome. Really, _really_ awesome.

They need to go home and show everybody, they’re going to _freak out—_

Wait…how _do_ they get home, anyways?

As if sensing their thoughts, the create slithers upwards. “We must go, now. There is nothing left in this realm for us.”

“Where will you go?”

“There are stars out there that need help, do they not?” it trills. “Many second chances! I will help! I and my stars, we shall give those hearts their homes back!” One of the hearts, rolling down its scales, trills like bells in a way to copy the trilling voice of the mother in agreement.

They smile, soft and true and honest and real. “That sounds like a wonderful idea, friend.”

Baring its teeth in what might be a mimic of their own grin, it gestures them to the portal.

By the time their friends burst in, full battle gear on and weapons blazing, the light of that realm has long since faded as they stand in the throne room of the Radiant Garden castle with their hand over their chest, counting the beats and smiling at the tune.

“You guys will not _believe_ what just happened.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Set piece for this chapter is the Gate to the Dark from KH1 as well as the beta content Crumbling Island.
> 
> Chapter title from “Constellations” by the Oh Hellos.


	12. Epilogue

**One Year Later**

“You got everything packed?”

“Think so.”

“Toothbrush? Elixirs? Hi-Potions? Bags of trail mix? A compass that actually _works_ , you never know when you’re going to get lost, remember last time—”

“We got it, we got it!” The bag is pulled shut with some effort, zipper nearly popping at the sheer volume of its contents. “Even got like, a hundred changes of clothes.”

“Good, because I don’t know how many department stores are going to exist where you’re going,” Kairi says.

She hands them a paper marked with colorful ink labeled in a neat order of directions and instructions. “And keep this safe, most of all!”

Tracing the lines, they read them over again, just in case.

They made sure to check it at least twice _(just like Santa!_ Sora had said with glee), so there’s as little room for error as possible. The creature—Riku’s secretly been calling it Cetus, after the constellation, just so he doesn’t have to keep calling it “mother” (weird) or “creature” (sort of rude at this point)—had assured them multiple times that the information was correct, but they just had to make sure.

Everything had to be _perfect_.

After all, jumping between universes is no easy task.

This past year has been extraordinarily busy, to say the least. After returning to Radiant Garden, life went back to being peaceful and calm in its post-war recovery.

Except for one small detail—the topic of “them;” Sora and Riku.

After that fight in the End of the World, there was another shift in their paradigm. They worked together _even better_ than before, and that’s saying something.

That fairytale had mentioned the merge as something completely new, where the lines blur so much you can’t tell where it was first even drawn—but maybe it got that part partially wrong. Because for them, no matter how in-tune they feel 24/7, there’s always time to draw a line if need be.

Of course, that line can take days to draw when they’re _really_ harmonizing. On one memorable occasion, even up to a week.

So the book got some things right, but others not so much. For one, they never really _stopped_ being two people. It wasn’t this all-encamping permanent thing the book toted it as. Sure, they were together in all the ways that mattered, from heart to mind to body, but it wasn’t _too_ hard to unstick their hearts from each other’s once they knew how to do it.

That took a while to figure out. There was a long period of them being so blended together that they just _became_ a new person, just like the story said, so it was mostly true at points.

And they probably could have found a solution sooner, but, well—they _liked_ how they were. Why change something that isn’t broke?

(“It’s like they put you guys in a pie and baked you up,” Xion exclaims confusedly. “I can barely tell the difference between you two anymore!”

Even Ventus agrees. Though it’s really funny how everyone tries to determine who’s who by their talking style and hand movements—they don’t even know themselves sometimes, honestly!)

They never really put a name to who they are now. Together or apart, there’s that all-important “and” right in the middle between their names that always reminds them of who they are. It doesn’t matter if someone calls them Sora one minute and Riku the next; it’s all the same to them.

Somedays they’re a “he,” when they feel so united it’s impossible to imagine them as being anyone else but one, but right now they’re comfortable as a “they” as both their shared halves do their own mental checklist of what they’re missing for their trip.

 _I hope there are stores! I mean, we gotta stock up on supplies somewhere,_ _remember that one time we were out of potions for like three days because the shop kept selling out?_ Sora recalls.

Riku laughs. _And you thought the bandages they were selling were magic and would work just the same?_

 _I knew they_ probably _weren’t, but it’s a Moogle Shop! Everything is magic! If I ever find who bought all those potions…_

They were short on munny for months after that incident. Elixirs are really expensive but they were all that was left to buy, and with them in such dangerous areas they had to use at least one a battle some days.

Especially in the Dark Realm—they shiver at that. Yup, they were done with that place once and for all, case closed.

Then Sora thinks for a moment. “Huh, maybe that person needed them more though…I hope they’re okay.”

“What was that?” Naminé pipes up, peeking from around a corner.

“Oh—nothing, talking to ourselves,” Sora assures. Naminé nods, understanding completely, already way past used to them talking aloud.

Everyone got comfortable with their new self fast. Even if their voices could barely be told apart, the others just shrugged and went along with it, either calling them by their names when they felt confident with one or the other, or just sticking with a safe “they.”

Has Sora ever mentioned they have the best friends in the whole world? Because they _really_ do.

What was really cool was the strength boost when they were together. That was one part the book really wasn’t kidding about. Having the ability to wield multiple Keyblades and spells through the shared energy of two hearts in a body that only grows stronger as it bears that immense weight?

Well, let’s just say it left Vanitas’ fuming after one too many lost spars.

Aqua was so impressed with their progress that she argued with Yen Sid for a full three hours about instating their Master status. Every test thrown at them, they ace. Riku takes apart those complicated little written tests and difficult thought puzzles under pressure with ease, while Sora breezes through the physical sides of the test, even adding in style and grace.

Honestly, it’s not really a big deal to them, it never was, but to everyone else it might as well be the Biggest Deal to ever exist.

 _(Hey, if I’m in_ your _body, and we basically share, like,_ everything _now, doesn’t that mean I’m already an honorary Master by this point too?_ Sora had joked.

Riku huffed. _You’ve always been a Master, silly. The greatest Master I know._

_Well, then why all the drama right now!?_

_With this, we’ll have passage anywhere Keyblade Wielders are known names, and most people wouldn’t say no to help from them. But…I think it’s more a symbol of how far we’ve come. A title to carry to the next world for some piece of mind, you know?_

Sora had thought on that. _Huh…that does make sense, actually._ He smiles. _And, yeah, it sounds nice too! Keyblade Masters…it feels right, this time.)_

Ventus had to be held back to stop from running in and yelling out his own dissertation on why they deserved the status. Even Terra looked ready to sternly state his case for them.

Faced with so much stubborn determination, Yen Sid had no choice to agree. Though, what was even better than that day was, in a rare showing of compassion…he said he was proud of them.

In fact, he actually _smiled_ a little!

Sora’s still not sure if he actually imagined that. Man, if only they had their camera out at the time…

Speaking of which—they reach in their pocket to grab their phone when it buzzes, smiling at the “good luck!” messages from Radiant Garden.

Thankfully, all their pictures are not lost. Chip and Dale show him this wonderful thing called “the cloud” where every single photo both of them had ever took on their phones were uploaded for safekeeping. _Every single picture!_ How incredible is that?

Technology and them may not get along well, but Sora might be warming up to it if it can pull off amazing miracles like this.

Riku, especially, is overjoyed at the news. He spends three hours just flipping through them and reminiscing with Sora over each and every one.

They may have moved on from their dark past, but the good memories? Those are endlessly precious to him.

He smiles at the silly screensaver they took—a new one, to commemorate their Master status and to show how much they’ve grown since their last photo together.

Sora in his new replica body, hair slightly longer and features more pronounced, sticking out his tongue while Riku squishes into his side with the happiest, dorkiest look _ever._ Between them, Sora’s Meow-Wow is copying Sora’s tongue-out pose—

 _(Or are_ you _copying the Meow-Wow?_ Riku jokes.

_Shut it, Riku—)_

—and Riku’s Komory Bat has a big, toothy grin on its fluffy little face as it perches on the other Dream Eater’s head.

There’s finger bunny ears on Sora’s head courtesy of Ventus, and you can faintly see Kairi’s smirky face on Riku’s left side, and it’s one of Sora’s most favorite pictures _ever._

Riku claims that it’s one of the most unflattering pictures of himself and claims to dislike it, but Sora digresses. Also, he knows Riku loves it, because his boyfriend’s crazy-sappy-extremely-adorable consciousness goes haywire whenever he sees it, pulling at the bond with fond delight.

Oh, and the other good news—they’re official, now! After many long late-night chats, dismantling lingering insecurities and setting boundaries, they announced it over the breakfast table the next morning and watched as everyone rolled their eyes with exactly no surprise in them. Which, _rude._

Except Terra. He nearly choked on a sip of orange juice. At least one person had the decency to be shocked!

There’s a crash from above. “Oi! Leaving without saying goodbye?” Roxas yells, and when they look up they see him peek over the rails with a glare.

Kairi hefts one of their bags she insisted on carrying up. “We’re just taking the stuff down! They wouldn’t dream of leaving so soon, _right guys?”_ Her smile is slightly terrifying. They quickly nod.

“Of course we wouldn’t!”

Xion peeps over. “We’ll meet you guys there in a moment! Lea’s still in the shower.”

“I swear if he uses all the hot water again…” Roxas mutters.

“It’s a magic tower, the hot water doesn’t run out.”

“It’s the principle of it!”

“Oh, and if you see Isa, let us know—we can’t find him anywhere,” Xion calls to them before tugging Roxas away.

_Suspicious. Both him and Lea are missing…very suspicious._

Riku laughs. “What a mystery indeed.”

They reach the bottom of the stairs. “Where do you think we’ll go?” Sora wonders. “A sea of clouds? An underground bunker? A city in the sky?”

“Or we could be dropped in the middle of space, there’s always a chance of that,” Riku says, their legs taking the steps two at once as their hand runs down the banister.

“I hope it’s a city,” Sora hums wistfully. “With bright lights and big skyscrapers with tons of people. We’ll never get bored!”

Riku doesn’t think that sounds all that great, but when Sora’s thoughts drift to coffee shops and peaceful parks, exploring every nook and cranny in their infinite time—well, okay, maybe he can get behind that.

Recently they’ve been getting more and more antsy, eager to do something _more,_ even if they don’t know that _more_ they’re looking for. 

Kairi had suggested, after they returned from yet another mission still feeling the wanderlust rushing through their veins, that they take an extended vacation. Probably to save the training dummies from undergoing more of their non-stop skill practicing, and to save herself from having to deal with them complain all the time.

(“Think of it as a honeymoon!”

“You’re just trying to kick us out!”

She hits them over the head with her study notes. “Maybe I’m just sick of your whining!”)

Hearing word of this, Even made good on his promise for a replica, even though they emphasized that it wasn’t that important, don’t worry about it, there’s absolutely no rush. He seemed to take that as a personal challenge. Within a month or two, he presented them with a replica body, a smug look on his face as if saying _you dare doubted me?_

That day was one of the scariest days of Riku’s life. They very nearly didn’t even bother attempting it—what if the replica wasn’t complete and it hurt him? What if they weren’t healed all the way? Are they ready for this?

(What if Sora never came back?)

But Riku wanted Sora to have his own freedom, not just with him. That’s what gave them both the courage to try it, in the end.

There’s a moment of pain, of— _slicing,_ as their complete hearts fall away from each other, a heavy, almost sickening feeling of bereft—of fear— _only one, this might not work, please work, please, I can’t—_

Riku felt a knot loosen in his (suddenly cold, too empty) chest when he heard a sharp breath being sucked in as if for the first time.

And then, pure, unadulterated _relief_ as Sora—bright, loud, boisterous Sora, brown hair and tan skin and wide, wide blue eyes—laughed, and threw his arms around him in their first physical hug in what seems like years.

It’s kind of funny to see Sora, now. Just like Sora affected Riku’s heart, Sora’s was not left untouched—there’s strands of silver scattered all through his hair, and he’s at _least_ three inches taller than Riku last saw him.

Neither of their eyes ever return to purely blue or green apart, but that’s just fine—“seafoam green” is what Naminé calls it, and it suits them.

And together, their eyes are still those two colors they saw in the lake's reflection.

Being without each other feels wrong in a way that a missing limb aches in phantom pain. It’s _weird,_ to not have that second mind, those other thoughts, to not be able to drift and expect someone else to catch you immediately, even if they’re not that far away.

After so long of being with Sora in such an intimate way, it’s hard to separate the feeling.

More than once, Sora’s asked questions in his mind and waited for answers that never came, because even though he can feel Riku’s arm around his waist and breath on his neck—he’s not _there_ like he was before. They actually have to speak out loud for a purpose, now, not just because they like the sound of their voices.

As much as Sora loves being in his own body, of jumping and laughing and kissing, of getting to choose pants with gaudy colors and an absurd amount of pockets that offend Riku’s delicate fashion sensibilities…

He misses it. That closeness of being smothered by another, total and encompassing, that you never feel alone again.

And even though Riku’s happy, so so happy, to have Sora back, to be able to do all the happy, sappy things he couldn’t do before, of seeing Sora free and lively, of finally having some privacy, of being able to eat whatever foods he wants without hearing disgusted shrieking from Sora—

There’s still a heavy ache in his chest that’s hard to lighten.

Luckily, though, they’re pretty clever. Finding a compromise is easy.

Vanitas and Rikuto are arguing outside, cutting off as they approach before it can devolve into a fist fight. “You guys got your clone?” Rikuto calls.

Sora pats their satchel. “Ienzo practically wrapped Soruto in bubble wrap—he’ll be fine.”

 _“Soruto?_ What kind of ridiculous name is that?” Van says with disgust.

Rikuto glares at him. “Oh, is my name dumb too?” Vanitas scoffs and looks off to the side.

“Yours makes sense. His is just bad.”

“We’ll keep the suggestion in mind,” Riku says bemusedly as he watches the arguing continue. They move on.

Using a unique combination of an extended Mini spell and a modified Blizzard, they could take the replica form with them anywhere they’d like. All they need is a large bag and they’re good to go!

So on those days when that ache of missing grows too strong between them, they can return together as one with ease.

Normally, it’d be difficult to constantly be switching bodies like this, but the past few months (or, years, really) have made their hearts way more malleable than most people’s. Once Sora got used to the replica, it took hardly any effort to switch because both that form and Riku’s body were so familiar to him anyways.

Spending a few months separate isn’t as daunting anymore when they know they can be together any time they wish.

Reaching the field at the far end of the tower, him and Kairi drop the bags they dragged down. “Thanks for helping with the stuff, Kairi,” Sora says gratefully.

“I accept payment in trail mix.” She holds out a hand and they reluctantly slap a bag in it.

Munching on a dried pineapple slice, she peers into the sky. “You sure you want to go today?”

“I thought you were kicking us out? You practically pushed us out the door a week ago!”

“Just looks like a storm’s coming in.”

“If there’s any interference, I’m sure we can handle it,” Riku assures. “Don’t worry.”

“Thank you for looking out for us!” Sora says with a grin.

Kairi shakes her head. “You guys are so adult-like sometimes it’s almost terrifying.”

“Hey, I take offense to that. I’m forever a child at heart,” Sora huffs. “Riku’s the one who poisoned me with his boring law-abiding businessman attitude.”

“I’ll show you _boring_ when I beat you in our next spar. Don’t you remember who has the most wins between us?” Riku says smugly.

Sora flicks their ear—gently, though, because that’s also _his_ ear right now.

Not only are their consciousnesses basically connected at the hip now, separate or together, everything shared between them with nothing more needed, but somehow that joining balanced out all their traits together.

Sora just thinks that him and Riku compliment each other so well that it makes them seem like this ultra-smart-tough-cool person, but Terra says they’ve also gained maturity through experience, which is big if true.

So the next day, they casually tied a rubber band to the kitchen sink sprayer and raced Ventus to the breakfast table before whoever their unfortunate victim was (Xion—oh, god, they’ve never seen her _so mad_ in their lives) could find them.

They can’t let people think they’re no fun anymore just because they’re super-serious Masters!

Things are good, now. They go on missions to far-off worlds and fix any problem that comes their way. They have fun with friends and relax on off days. No matter if together or apart, in body or over the phone, they’re ready for anything and never doubt their connection. Their unbreakable bond sees to that.

Of course, there’s still bad days where Riku’s wrist aches in the rain and where Sora’s overactive mind suffers him through night terrors. But that’s not so bad when you know you have a whole army of overly-supportive friends right next to you.

And even better when you have each other.

One more time, they pull out the colorful directions. “Hopefully this works…” Sora mummers.

_It will. We checked it, it checked it, even Yen Sid checked it—it checks out._

“I know, I know. We’ll be fine.”

Despite everything, they became good friends with Cetus and corresponded every so often. Sora and Riku met the sea dragon in the Lanes Between a few weeks ago, the first they’ve seen it since they last parted.

Five hearts rested on its wingtips, happily relaxing, as it told them stories of traversing universes and what new hearts and lives it has saved—and what still needs fixing.

Apparently, aside from their worlds, there’s whole _planes_ of universes waiting for heroes to save them.

(“Very perilous!” It warned. “Even I struggled. The air too thick and hearts too frightful—I could do no good, not in that condition. But for you...well, you may be able to stand it!”)

Well…they _have_ been feeling quite restless lately. What better way to quench their wanderlust than going on a universe-bending adventure to do what they do best and help others?

In the front of the Tower, their friends start gathering to send them off. Most have already given them well-wishes and gifts earlier, but they still weren’t going to miss their first major universe hopping attempt and make sure they make it okay.

Riku also strongly suspects _some_ of them (cough _Vanitas and Rikuto)_ are only here just to see if they fail humorously.

The last to arrive, Lea stumbles out of the front door, hair still wet. “Are we late, _please_ don’t tell me we missed them—”

Isa follows a moment later. “They’re right there. Did you hit your head and lose it in the same breath?”

“Hey, no bullying allowed, we’re supposed to be _encouraging—"_

The Disney Castle crew nearly bowls the two of them over in their rush to reach Sora and Riku, hollering over each other to be heard.

“Don’t crash into any asteroids! Again!” Donald squawks.

“And if there’s trouble, ask for help!” Mickey says.

Ventus jumps up and waves his arms around shouting goodbyes. Naminé holds a giant banner with a “GOOD LUCK” and cute faces drawn all over, the other end held by Roxas and Aqua. There are video calls from far-off friends and so many faces it’s hard to single them out, only the feeling of overwhelming support and cheer the crowd radiates. Their voices layer over each other, loud and crazy and cheerful and bright, and with each shouted encouragement their own smile grows and grows.

And—oh, tears, too! But no, no time for crying. Even if—

Wow, _they just love their friends so much._

“See you soon!” Kairi calls above the hullabaloo.

A wide, confident grin, colorful eyes glittering in the brilliant starlight of the Mysterious Tower, wonderfully, delightfully ecstatic.

Hearts together—they raise their Keyblades high to the stars, and let the astral winds guide them to their next adventure.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’d like to thank Shaky for all the encouragement and the splendid ideas in the later half of this story, thanks for being so awesome and chatting with me about KH! <3 I’d also like to thank my BF for having to listen to me rant about this story for two months straight even though he knows diddly squat about KH <3
> 
> Thank you for reading! See you guys soon!
> 
> Find me at Tumblr at [Jellibells.](https://jellibells.tumblr.com/)


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